She closed her eyes, hand still pressed to her face. “Oh, Cam.” She bowed her head briefly, then said, “Come in. Let’s sit down.”
I followed her into her living room, taking in the view of her from the back. She wore a pair of blue leggings with a matching sweatshirt that was open at the back, revealing a strappy sports bra beneath. My gaze lingered on her ass, firm and perfect in the snug leggings.
She gestured at her couch, sitting there too, but not close enough to touch. She turned to face me, cross-legged, her feet bare.
I lowered myself to the couch. “My dad gave me a lecture,” I continued in a low voice. “He called me out on my fear of failure. Told me I don’t work at things unless I know I’ll be good at them. Which is why I’ve never had a real relationship.”
Olivia made a soft sound in her throat, her eyes opening and locking on my face.
“And maybe that was why I was playing so shitty. Because I was afraid if I tried my best and we still lost…it meant I wasn’t good enough to win.”
“Oh, Cam. Of course you’re good enough.”
I looked down, rubbing the back of my neck. “I know I act cocky, but…”
“Deep down inside you have doubts like everyone,” she finished softly.
I looked up at her. The moment stretched out. “Yeah,” I finally said hoarsely. She got it.
“You won last night.”
I couldn’t help the smile that broke out on my face. “Yeah. We won last night. Thank fuck.”
“Congratulations.” Her voice shook.
“Thanks. Our playoff hopes are still alive. We’ve got a big hill to climb though.”
She nodded, sucking on her bottom lip. “You can do it.”
“I hope so. But if we don’t…I’m going to take it as a lesson…not a failure. And…” I sucked more air into my lungs. “That’s how I’m going to take what happened with us. A lesson. A goddamn hard lesson. I fell in love with you, and I lost you because I was so afraid of falling in love…and not being good at it. I don’t know…” I paused, my throat clogging up. I cleared it. “I don’t know if I’ll ever meet someone I care about as much as you. I love your generosity. Your big heart. Your commitment to helping kids and making the world better. I love what a good sport you are that you were willing to go out with me again after I poisoned you, and after I made a fool of myself falling flat on my back in a restaurant. I love that you were brave enough to look after Magnum when I needed you. I even love that you dumped water all over me.”
She gave a shaky laugh. “Oh my God.”
“It’s a hard lesson, failing. It sucks. But…my dad told me that failure is a part of success.”
She closed her eyes again, her face crumpling, her mouth squeezing up. “Oh. Your dad sounds like a wise man.”
“I guess he is. He kind of pissed me off.” I shrugged. “But that’s what parents do—tell you shit you don’t want to hear.”
She smiled.
“Can I tell you something else?”
She nodded.
“When you told me you loved me, I panicked. I was feeling stressed about losing our first game, and…and I guess I need to tell you about what happened with Ashley.”
Her face tightened, and her nose wrinkled. “Ugh. Ashley. I asked you about her.”
“Yeah. And I probably should have told you more. It was a nightmare, what happened with her.”
“Tell me,” she said softly.
“We were young. Seventeen, eighteen. I was living in Medicine Hat, billeted with a family, going to Ashley’s high school. She kind of chased me, because I was one of the hockey players, but she was really pretty and fun, so we started going out.” I bent my head to stare at my hands. “Things started to get weird…she always wanted her own way, whether it was where we went out after a game or what movie we were going to see. It didn’t bother me at first. It seemed like little things that weren’t worth arguing about. But then it started to bug me. At Christmas, she didn’t want me to go home to Calgary, she wanted me to stay and spend Christmas with her family. I wanted to see my folks…I was a kid living away from home, with strangers. They were nice people, but they weren’t my family. Anyway, we had a huge fight, and wow, she made my life miserable when I got back to Medicine Hat after Christmas. Things kept going like that. She’d tell lies and manipulate me to get what she wanted. I tried to break up with her.”
I looked up to meet Olivia’s soft eyes, her expression intent.
“She told me she was pregnant.”
“Oh.” She pressed her fingers to her mouth. “That was the pregnancy test.”
“Eventually. She told me she’d done a test but wouldn’t show me. I felt ashamed that I didn’t believe her, but I was getting to know how she was. She told her parents, and they weren’t exactly happy. How could I tell them I was pretty sure she was lying? This was all happening around the time of the draft. She wanted to come with me, wherever I ended up, but I knew I didn’t want that. In fact, I felt horrible because I kept thinking this was my escape. And she was saying she’d have the baby and we’d get married, and…and I was feeling…trapped. Like everything I’d dreamed of was slipping out of reach. I was trying to do the right thing, but I was scared shitless. Finally I got her to do another pregnancy test, and it was negative. She even tried to deny that, and say it was wrong.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah.”
“She didn’t go with you when you got drafted though.”
“No. But…when I told her that, once we’d established there was no baby, she totally lost it. She was crying and screaming and begging me not to leave. God.” I remembered how awful I’d felt, so helpless and lost and afraid. I ran a hand through my hair. “It was the worst thing I’d ever been through, but I left her to go home to Calgary the next morning, before I left for my first training camp. A week later, she tried to commit suicide.”
“Oh no!” Olivia’s hands flew to her mouth, her eyes wide.
“She took a bunch of pills. Her parents found her in time. She didn’t die. I don’t know if she actually wanted to die, or if she was just trying to get attention. But…it made me question what I was doing. I felt responsible. But I also felt angry. I felt she was manipulating me again, and then I felt guilty for thinking that.” I tipped my head back, my chest burning at the memories. “My parents helped me sort everything out. Thank God I had them.”
“Yeah.”
“They convinced me to go to a counselor to talk about it, which felt like the last thing I wanted to do, but it helped me understand that I wasn’t responsible for what had happened. My parents had talked to Ashley’s parents, and they’d known for a while she had problems, but they were in denial about it.”
“Oh, Cam. That must have been so awful.”
“I feel ashamed again, because when you told me you loved me and you were looking at me like that, hoping I loved you too, I felt that same feeling…being trapped. No, don’t look like that.” I held up a hand, seeing the hurt on her face. “It was me, Liv. Not you. I’ve been stressed about the playoffs, and then I kind of relived that experience, but…it took losing you to make me realize how much I missed you. How much I want you in my life. How hugely I fucked up.” I slid off the couch and onto the floor to kneel in front of her. I wanted to touch her, but I didn’t. “I’m so, so sorry for hurting you. I’m not good at this…I’ve never done this…and I know I screwed it all up. I really am sorry.” I paused, holding her gaze steadily. “I love you, Liv.”
“C-Cam…”
I waited. The air vibrated around us, and I felt a hard pulse in the pit of my stomach.
“I love you too.”
My heart lurched to a stop, then thundered into a rapid beat. I stared at her. “Can you forgive me?”
She nodde
d rapidly and, without conscious thought, I moved back up onto the couch and she moved too, launching herself into my arms. And she was crying.
“Sssh. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. You’re killing me. I hate that I hurt you.”
She wrapped her arms tightly around me and pressed her face into my neck. I felt the wetness, the hot puffs of her breath. I tipped her chin up and kissed her, slow and soft and sweet. I drew back to stare into her eyes. “I really do love you, Olivia.”
“I really do love you too.”
“I wasn’t going to ask…but you’ll give me another chance?”
“Yes.”
I kissed her again, this time deeper, pulling her tighter against me, angling my head and opening my mouth on hers. She sighed into my mouth as my tongue slid over hers, her fingers in my hair, her breasts pressed against my chest.
We kissed like we were starving for each other, and I was starving, for her, her sweet taste, her hot mouth. Our hands roamed, mine sliding up under the loose shirt over smooth skin, encountering spandex. “I like this top. But I want you out of it.” I grabbed the hem of the top and pulled it up and over her head. She sat on my lap in leggings and bra. “So damn sexy.”
Her cheeks got even pinker, and she brushed her mouth over my stubbled jaw. “This is sexy,” she said, rubbing the beginnings of my playoff beard.
“Get used to it. I hope I’m going to have it for a while.”
“I want to know how it feels on my thighs.”
“Jesus.” My dick was already straining behind the zipper of my jeans, and it twitched. “I love the sound of that. Come on, legs, let’s hit the bedroom.”
We nearly sprinted down the hall and into her room. I laughed when Olivia leaped onto the bed, bouncing on her butt. I jumped on top of her, and she gave a breathless laugh too as I took her to the mattress, circling her wrists with my hands, pinning them above her head and kissing her again. “You make me so fucking hot.”
“Mmm. Me too.” She opened for me, and I licked into her mouth, my pelvis pressing her into the bed. She strained up against me, her legs parting for me. “I can feel how hot you are.”
I kissed my way over her cheek, her jaw. “I missed you.”
“Missed you too. Ohhhh…”
I opened my mouth on her stomach and licked, then went lower, and lower, to the waistband of her leggings. I lifted her legs so they were straight up, hooked my fingers into the leggings and peeled them up and off along with a tiny black thong, her butt lifting to help me. I glanced up at her to see her soft smile, her blue eyes glowing. “Look at these legs.” I stroked my hands down silky skin reverently, slid my hands around to her inner thighs, and parted her thighs.
Her soft laugh teased my ears.
I gazed at her secret woman flesh—my salvation, my redemption, my quest for forgiveness. My lips parted, my mouth craving her.
Hooking my hands around her legs I hauled her closer, and she laughed again, this time shocked. I slid my palms beneath her cheeks and lifted her sweet pussy to my mouth. “Oh yeah.”
She smelled of warm, aroused woman. I gathered the scent of her into my lungs and shuddered an exhalation. Her soft pink lips pouted, and I dove in to taste her. I licked over the pillowy flesh, then dragged my tongue up between them, slicking up her essence.
Her soft little whimpers and moans inflamed me even more as I lapped at her. She writhed on the bed, pushing her stretchy bra up over her breasts to bare them and cup them. I turned my head to nip at her inner thigh, kiss the crease where thigh joined hip, nuzzle the golden curls, then went back in to find her clit and send her flying.
She cried out as I licked right over the swollen nub. I pushed two fingers inside her slippery channel and curved them, and she gave another yelp. I smiled against her smooth flesh, then worked my tongue over her clit again and again. Her body tightened and twisted.
My cock thickened with need; my blood scalded the insides of my veins. I tried to satisfy the deep, intense hunger gnawing at me, but somehow I knew I never would…I would always need her. Hunger and thirst and yearn for her.
She lifted her arms toward me and slid her fingers into my hair, scraping my scalp, tugging at strands, and tingles cascaded down my spine. I released one of her ass cheeks and reached up to cover one breast and squeeze. “I love your tits,” I mumbled, rising up and leaning over her to kiss her. My lips slid on hers with her slickness, and she opened eagerly for me. Our tongues glided together and then I returned to the heaven between her thighs to taste her again, to please her more.
Her body tightened and shuddered, her breath quickening, so I drew back and reached behind to yank my shirt off. While she arched her back and pulled off her sports bra, I shoved out of my jeans and boxers as well, and we were both naked. Our eyes met in a moment of intense, shared vulnerability…not only our bodies naked, but our souls and our hearts. My skin prickled everywhere in this soul-melting moment of honesty.
“Condom?” I asked hoarsely, my dick straining toward the promised land.
“We don’t need it.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “Unless…”
“I’m safe. You’re protected?”
“Yes.”
“Sweet Jesus.” I closed my eyes briefly, then lifted one of her legs and rested her calf on my shoulder. I took myself in hand and found her entrance. Christ. So hot…so wet. “Olivia…”
I cupped her breast, easing into her tight heat, a groan rumbling in my chest. As I seated myself in her I paused, and our eyes met again in the most intimate connection I’d ever experienced. The air shimmered around us, and I felt like nothing existed in this world except Olivia and me on this bed.
I drew out and glided back in, slowly, agonizingly, watching her beautiful face, pleasure heating and swelling in my stomach. I did it again. And again…until the rhythm was set, the bed bouncing beneath us, Olivia’s gorgeous tits quivering. We both gasped, I grunted, our sounds filling the shadows.
I bent over her again, resting my nose alongside hers, our mouths barely touching, pumping into her slowly but powerfully. She lifted a hand to cup my face, and I shifted my mouth to meet hers in another long, mind-scrambling kiss.
Her knees bent, feet pressing into my sides. Both her hands slid around to the back of my head, then framed my face again as our mouths slowly parted. Then she stretched her arms above her head, eyes closed, her pelvis lifting to meet me on every stroke.
“God. God, you’re beautiful.” I shoved my fists in the mattress and drove into her faster.
She whimpered and gripped my biceps. Eye to eye, nose to nose, our mouths touched again in perfect understanding and unity.
Pressure coiled in my balls, sweet electricity racing through my body. Sex had never been like this…tender yet urgent. Important. A gift that was both given and received with equal respect and devotion.
She skated a hand down between us, the soft sounds falling from her lips increasing in tempo and volume, and I knew she was close. I kept the force of my orgasm at bay, darkness gathering fast and heavy, as she touched herself. Her cries soared to the ceiling as her body rippled and clung, her fingers digging into my shoulder, and I let myself go, furious ecstasy shooting through me…a sharp, piercing bliss.
I lowered myself over her, gasping, my body shuddering, pressing into her through the last pulses of my orgasm. Her arms wrapped around me, heels at the small of my back, and we latched onto each other as if we’d never let go.
Chapter 23
Olivia
“My dad’s not the only wise person I know.”
“You’re not allowed to talk about your parents in bed.” I was still lust-drunk and lethargic, sprawled facedown on the bed next to Cam, unable to move from the overwhelming intensity of that orgasm. Physically, it had rocked my body, taking me to a wicked, erotic high I’d never ex
perienced; but it had also been emotionally consuming, filling me with gratitude, adoration, admiration…and love.
I sensed his smile. “Okay, forget him. You taught me something too.”
“I did?”
“That day at the Cultural Center, you said we’ll never achieve our dreams if we give up before we even try.”
“I did say that.” I turned my head on the pillow to fix my gaze on him. “But you knew that.”
“I thought I did.” He stroked the backs of his fingers down my arm. “But when it came to you…I gave up before I even tried.”
“I’ve done that too,” I reminded him softly. “Given up without even trying. Remember how I felt like I couldn’t compete with my sister and brother?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t even try to get good marks in school because I was afraid I actually couldn’t do better than them. I’ve tried to live that lesson…I’m not always good at it though.”
“I thought I’d messed things up forever.”
“You know it won’t always be easy.” I eyed him. “Relationships aren’t always.”
“I know. But I promise you I’ll always try. You’re worth it. You’re worth anything.”
My heart swelled. “So are you, to me.”
His eyes shadowed, and he brushed his fingers over my cheek. “Are you sure? I really screwed up.”
“Lark told me…you’d never really had relationships since Ashley.”
“She did? Shit.”
“She said she thought you were afraid.”
“Christ.” He flopped onto his back, eyes closed, and groaned. “Even my sister?”
“Obviously they know you well. They care about you. But…I realized last night when you were talking…you did with me. You did put work into it.”
He cracked an eye open and tilted his head toward me.
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