Hung-chien said, “Hsin-mei and I aren’t interested in mahjong anyway. We were going to buy a deck of cards to play bridge, but we couldn’t find one anywhere in the town, so we ended up buying a Chinese chess set.5 When Hsin-mei lost, he banged the chess pieces against the table so hard that several of them were busted to pieces. For the last couple of days, we haven’t been able to play any more.”
With Kao sitting between them, Miss Fan smiled at Hsin-mei and said she had never thought Hsin-mei could be so childish. Miss Liu then asked Hsin-mei to tell what Hung-chien did when he lost at chess.
President Kao said, “Playing chess is fine. It’s just as well you couldn’t find a deck of cards. It’s a gambling device all the same. Though cards don’t make any noise, it wouldn’t be very good if the students found out about it. Li Mei-t’ing has prohibited them from playing cards. According to the principle of ‘life in common’ among students and teachers—”
For a while there Kao Sung-nien had acted like a human being, thought Hung-chien. Why had Kao changed back into a president? He wished he could say: “Open the Wongs’ mahjong game to the public and invite the students to come gamble too. That’d be ‘life in common.’”
Mrs. Wang impatiently interrupted President Kao, “I get a headache every time I hear those words ‘life in common.’ It’s all Li Mei-t’ing’s fancy ideas. His own family isn’t here, in any case, so he doesn’t feel the hardships other people with families do. At first I was afraid of the noise, so I didn’t play. But now I will play. If you want to punish me, Mr. President, you can go ahead. It’s none of Li Mei-t’ing’s business.”
President Kao sensed a coquettish attitude in the way Mrs. Wang challenged him to punish her, and it made his heart flutter and his body grow hot. “I wouldn’t do that!” he said, “but running a school has its own difficulties—you need only ask Mr. Wang about that—colleagues should be amiable and tolerant toward one another.”
Mrs. Wang said with a scornful laugh, “Well, I’m not Li Mei-t’ing’s colleague. Mr. President, when did you ever hire me to work in your school as—as a maid? I’m not qualified to be a faculty member.”
Kao clucked comfortingly in his throat.
“Today is Wednesday,” said Mrs. Wang. “Saturday evening I’ll get the set back and play the whole night through. We’ll just see what Li Mei-t’ing is going to do about it. Mr. Chao, Mr. Fang, do you have the courage to come?”
Kao sighed, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you’re being like this, Mrs. Wang, I’ll just have to tell everyone. It’s because of Li Mei-t’ing that I broke in uninvited on the party today. I came to talk with Mr. Wang. I didn’t know you had company.”
The guests all said, “We’re glad you came. Usually we can’t get you to come.”
Mr. Wang asked calmly, “What is it about Li Mei-t’ing?”
Mrs. Wang looked thoroughly disgusted, indicating she didn’t care to hear what Kao had to say.
The president said, “Li came just as I was leaving the office and asked me who was going to speak at next Monday’s assembly. I told him I hadn’t thought of anyone yet. He said that in the dean’s report he would like to say something about proper recreation for university faculty and students during the War of Resistance.”
Mrs. Wang snorted.
“I said very well,” Kao continued. “Li said if after he had spoken, the students asked him whether the mahjong games and gambling at the Wongs were considered proper recreation or not, how should he answer?”
Everyone sighed in sudden realization.
“Of course, I covered up for you by saying there couldn’t be such a thing. Li said, ‘All the faculty know about it. You, Mr. President, are the only one who does not know.’”
Hsin-mei and Hung-chien said, “What nonsense! We didn’t know about it!”
“Li said it was all clear from his investigation. The winnings and losses were very high, the set was yours, such and such people were always playing, and you, Mr. Wang, were one of them—”
Mr. Wang’s face turned scarlet, and the guests all stared uncomfortably at their bowls and chopsticks. For several seconds the room was so quiet that ants could have been heard crawling on the floor—except that at the time there were no ants.
The president laughed unnaturally and went on, “There was one thing funny. Mrs. Wang, you’re sure to laugh when you hear this. Li had heard from somewhere that your set was an American one made of rubber and made no noise when played.”
The room rocked with laughter. The hilarity relieved the tension of a moment ago. Hung-chien asked Mrs. Wang if it really was noiseless. Mrs. Wang laughed at him for being as much of a country bumpkin as Li Mei-t’ing and added, “‘Blind Man Li’ must have gone deaf. Whoever heard of an American-made, noiseless mahjong set!”
President Kao, however, did not agree with this frivolousness; he sat tight-lipped and unsmiling to show his disapproval.
Wang said, “What does Li think we should do? Announce the games to the students?”
Mrs. Wang said, “Why not just let the whole thing out? Have everyone play in the open and stop all this furtive business of covering the table with a blanket, covering the blanket with a plastic tablecloth.”
Miss Fan noted brightly, “That’s what you call ‘noiseless mahjong!’”
“I’m sick and tired of staying here,” said Mrs. Wang. “Let Li Mei-t’ing raise a fuss, let the students drive you out, and let President Kao dismiss you. I couldn’t wish for anything more than to leave this place.”
“Tut! tut! tut!” the president clucked.
Wang said, “It’s because he couldn’t be chairman of the Chinese Department that he can’t get along with me. But I really didn’t want to take the job. I turned the president down several times, didn’t I, Mr. Kao? But then, my resignation must be entirely on my own. No one can force me out. I just won’t go. Li Mei-t’ing’s got me wrong. And as for his own behavior, humph, I know all about that too, such as visiting brothels in town.”
Wang stopped dramatically, the others gasped in astonishment; Hsin-mei and Hung-chien immediately thought of Wang Mei-yü.
After a long pause President Kao said, “Surely he doesn’t go that far?”
Seeing how partial the president was, Hung-chien blurted out indignantly, “I think what Mr. Wang said is quite possible. Mr. Li pulled all kinds of shenanigans when he was traveling with us. Ask Hsin-mei if you don’t believe me.”
His disapproval showing all over his face, the president said, “A gentleman hides the bad and makes known the good.6 That sort of private business between men and women is better left ignored.”
Miss Fan, who was just about to ask Hsin-mei what sort of shenanigans, took such a fright that she scooped up a spoonful of chicken soup and swallowed her question down with it.
Realizing his remarks might offend Wang Ch’u-hou, President Kao hastily added, “Don’t get me wrong, Hung-chien. Li Mei-t’ing is an old colleague of mine, so naturally I know his character. But there’s no point in Mr. Wang having a quarrel with him. I’ll find some way to deal with Li later.”
Mrs. Wang said with great magnanimity, “I’m the one to blame in any case. Ch’u-hou really wanted to humor him, but I was so disgusted from the very first time I set eyes on him that I’ve never invited him over. We’re not like Han Hsüeh-yü and his foreign wife who treat the History Department faculty and students to a simple meal every three days and a banquet every five. And what’s so amazing is they invite the students over for dinner and the faculty over for tea.”
Hung-chien remembered the History Department student who had had the runs four or five times in one night.
“The expense is a trivial matter. I just don’t have the energy, and I’m not so capable as that foreign woman. She’s a Western lady, and she can handle all this socializing, entertaining, keeping up contacts, and she can even sing. I’m just a Chinese countrywoman. I’ll keep to my place and not make a fool of myself. As I always say, if you
have the ability, then be a professor. If not, then get out. Don’t go telling your ugly old wife to be a hostess for your students and colleagues.”
Hung-chien couldn’t help exclaiming, “Bravo, bravo!”
Although Wang Ch’u-hou knew his wife wasn’t referring to him, he was burning all over.
Mrs. Wang said, “Mr. Kao needn’t talk to Li Mei-t’ing nor does Ch’u-hou have to have a showdown with him. All we have to do is think of some way to entice him over to the Wongs for a game of mahjong. Won’t that put an end to it all?”
“Mrs. Wang, you really are—really are a clever one!” President Kao patted the table in admiration, since he could not pat Mrs. Wang’s head or shoulder. “Only you could have thought up that scheme! How did you know Li Mei-t’ing loves to play mahjong?”
Mrs. Wang had made the remark in jest; when taken seriously by the president she came back with, “I know.”
Mr. Wang also stroked his mustache and repeated Su Tung-p’o’s famous line, “‘Most certainly! Most certainly!’”
Chao Hsin-mei’s gaze seemed glued to Mrs. Wang’s face. Left abandoned on the sidelines, Miss Liu was filled with resentment. She hated Mrs. Wang, she hated her brother and sister-in-law, and she despised Miss Fan. She regretted having come that day only to be ignored. Suddenly noticing Hsin-mei’s expression and then glancing at Miss Fan from the corner of her eye, she smiled scornfully to herself, feeling much better.
Miss Fan had noticed it too and aroused Hsin-mei with the remark, “Mr. Chao, Mrs. Wang sure is sharp!”
Face turning red, Hsin-mei mumbled, “She sure is!” avoiding Miss Fan’s gaze.
Hung-chien said, “That’s a great idea. But Li Mei-t’ing is always out for petty gains. You’ll have to let him win. He’ll still raise a fuss if he loses.”
They all laughed. Thinking how talkative and indiscreet Hung-chien was, Kao merely said, “1 hope you’ll all keep everything said today strictly confidential.”
After dinner the host invited them to sit in the living room. The women’s rouged and powdered faces, unable to withstand the perspiration steamed out by the food and wine and the vibrations from the exercise of chewing, resembled the walls during the rainy season. No wonder Byron hated sharing a table with women and having to watch them eat themselves into ugliness during the course of a meal. Although Miss Fan was so refined and elegant, yet even she would have liked to spit out the dregs of her meat, and after half a cup of wine too much, the unrouged portion of her face was as pink as the veal displayed in foreign butcher shops.
Mrs. Wang asked her women guests, “Would you like to come to my room and wash your hands?”
The two women followed after her. Kao Sung-nien and Wang Ch’u-hou talked confidentially in low tones.
Hsin-mei said to Hung-chien, “We’ll leave together in a little while. Don’t forget.”
Hung-chien said with a grin, “What if I want to see Miss Liu home by myself?”
“Whatever happens,” said Hsin-mei sternly, “let me accompany you just this once while you take her home. Isn’t Mrs. Wang just trying to play a joke on us?”
Hung-chien said, “Actually no one has to take anyone home. We can go our way, and they can go theirs.”
“We can’t do that,” insisted Hsin-mei. “We’re returned students. We’re supposed to know that much etiquette at least.”
They both bewailed their misfortune at being young, unmarried returned students.
Miss Liu forced herself to stay for a while longer; then she said she was going home.
Hsin-mei quickly stood up and said, “Hung-chien, we should be going, too. We can see the two ladies home on our way.”
Miss Liu said she could go home by herself. There was no need for anyone to accompany her.
“No, no, no,” insisted Hsin-mei. “We’ll see Miss Fan to the women’s dormitory first, then take you home. I’ve never been to your place.”
Hung-chien laughed to himself at the way Hsin-mei cozied up to Miss Liu in order to get rid of Miss Fan, only to leave himself open to another kind of misunderstanding. Mrs. Wang whispered something in Miss Fan’s ear; Fan then pushed Mrs. Wang away with a smile mixed with a trace of annoyance.
Mr. Wang said, “Well, then, ‘once you’re gone, you’re on your own.’ The ladies’ safety is now in your hands.”
President Kao said he would like to stay a little longer, indicating at the same time how extremely envious he was of his young friends. With such lovely weather, it was a spring evening just right for a stroll. And as the four of them were all young, they made good companions for a spring evening stroll.
The four of them walked abreast with Miss Fan and Miss Liu in the middle and Chao and Fang on either side. When they came near a wooden bridge, Miss Fan said it would only hold two people and wanted to walk across the stream bed instead. Just as Hung-chien and Miss Liu reached the middle of the bridge, they heard Miss Fan suddenly cry out sharply, “Oooh!” They quickly stopped and asked what had happened. Miss Fan laughed, and in a scolding tone Hsin-mei urged her to go by the bridge since the rocks in the stream bed were so slippery. They then realized that Miss Fan had nearly fallen down and had luckily been caught by Hsin-mei. Miss Liu crossed the bridge and stood impatiently waiting for them. Hung-chien waited until Miss Fan had come across, then asked solicitously if she had twisted a muscle. Miss Fan thanked him and said she hadn’t—it was twisted a little—but it didn’t matter. It’d be all right—but she couldn’t walk very fast, and she asked Miss Liu not to wait. Miss Liu uttered a murmur of consent, but Hung-chien said that Miss Liu and he could walk slowly. They had gone no more than a dozen steps when Miss Fan again called out, “Oooh!” Her handbag was missing. They all asked her if she had dropped it in the stream bed when she fell. She said she could have.
Hsin-mei said, “No one will pick it up now. We’ll go back to the dormitory first and get a flashlight.”
Miss Fan then remembered that she had left her handbag at Mrs. Wang’s. Cursing her stupidity, she wanted to hurry back and fetch it, saying, “How can I ask you all to wait? You go on ahead. In any case Mr. Chao can go with me—Mr. Chao, you’ll certainly scold me.”
Whenever women go out, they usually forget something, which means that going out once actually amounts to going out twice. Anna will say, “Oh, darn it, I forgot my handkerchief.” At that point her companion Mary will remember she didn’t bring her compact, and Julia, reminded by the other two, will say, “I’m even more stupid. I didn’t bring any money”—and the three of them will laugh as if it were the funniest thing in the world and return arm in arm to get the handkerchief, the compact, and the money. But the contagion of forgetting things had no effect on Miss Liu. It set Chao Hsin-mei to complaining to himself, Don’t tell me all this today was arranged by fate?
Hung-chien suddenly felt his head and asked, “Hsin-mei, did I wear a hat today?”
Hsin-mei was puzzled for a moment; then suddenly catching on, he said, “It seems you did wear one. I can’t remember clearly—yes, you did wear one, I—I didn’t though.”
Hung-chien said that Miss Fan’s mentioning her handbag had reminded him of his hat. Since Miss Fan was having trouble walking, and he had to go back to the Wangs for his hat anyway, he’d get her handbag for her while he was at it.
“I’ll be quick. You all wait here for me,” and he bounded off before he’d finished speaking. He returned with only the handbag in his hand and no hat on his head, saying, “I didn’t wear a hat. Hsin-mei, you fooled me.”
Hsin-mei said indignantly, “Miss Liu, Miss Fan, you see how unreasonable he is. He’s the big muddlehead, and yet he acts as though I’m the one who’s supposed to look after his hat.”
In the darkness he gratefully squeezed Hung-chien’s hand. Miss Liu gave a short grating laugh. Miss Fan’s thanks to Hung-chien were unnecessarily cold, and she had little else to say the rest of the way.
Despite Miss Liu’s refusal, Hung-chien and Hsin-mei saw her home anyway. She of cours
e invited them in to sit for a while. The eldest daughter who slept with her was still sitting at the dining table, having refused to go to bed until she returned, yawning again and again and rubbing her eyes with her little fists. When she saw her aunt had brought two guests home, she ran inside yelling, “Papa, Mama,” waking up her three-month-old baby brother as well. Liu Tung-fang hurried out to greet the guests with Mrs. Liu behind him carrying the baby. Hung-chien and Hsin-mei dutifully remarked on how nice and well-fed the baby was and discussed whether he resembled his mother or his father. These are the sort of remarks parents never tire of hearing. Hung-chien went up close to its face and snapped his fingers. This was his only skill in amusing a child.
Mrs. Liu said, “Let’s get to know your—uh—Uncle Fang.7 Let Mr. Fang hold you.” She wished she could have said “Paternal Uncle Fang.”8 “We’ve just had our diapers changed, so there won’t be any accident!”
Hung-chien, with a rueful smile, had no choice but to take the child. It had just been sucking its thumb, and when given to another to hold, the jostling caused saliva from its hand to foam all over Hung-chien’s nose and the side of his face. Since he’d been entrusted with the child by Mrs. Liu, Hung-chien had to keep his disgust to himself. Hsin-mei, having rid himself of Miss Fan, was in high spirits, and seeing an exposed area of the child’s thigh, which was clean, he put his mouth up close to kiss it. This made all four Lius laugh merrily, thinking how wonderful this Mr. Chao was. Annoyed at the way Hsin-mei was putting on, Hung-chien asked Hsin-mei if he wanted to hold the baby. Seeing how uncomfortable the baby was in Hung-chien’s arms, and thinking that since Hsin-mei had a senior position at the university and was an infrequent guest besides, Mrs. Liu decided she should not inconvenience Hsin-mei. She reached out her arms, saying, “We’re so heavy. Uncle Fang is tired from holding us.”
Hung-chien handed the child back, and while no one was watching, pulled out his handkerchief and wiped the already dried saliva from his face.
“Such a good boy,” said Hsin-mei. “He’s not afraid of strangers.”
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