Third Daughter-in-law remained expressionless. Second Daughter-in-law beamed with delight and said, “Wonderful! I’d like to go over and welcome Eldest Sister-in-law. I’ll go with you tomorrow, Eldest Brother.”
Hung-chien hurriedly thanked her but declined. When everyone had dispersed, Third Daughter-in-law said to Second Daughter-in-law, “Sister, you sure are good-natured! Who does Sun Jou-chia think she is, putting on those smelly airs and expecting us to go meet her! I certainly won’t go!”
Second Daughter-in-law said, “She wouldn’t come today because she can’t. My guess is she’s about to give birth and wouldn’t dare show her face at her in-laws’ home. Today she’ll put it off till tomorrow. Tomorrow she’ll put it off till the day after. We might as well await the arrival of a ‘double blessing.’ I knew Eldest Brother would never let me go. You saw how nervous he got then.”
Humbled at being bested, Third Daughter-in-law said, “He may be the eldest son, but your Ah Ch’ou is still the Fangs’ eldest grandson. If Sun Jou-chia has a son in a hurry, it won’t do her any good.”
Second Daughter-in-law tapped her with her finger and said, “Goodness! What wealth do the Fangs have to divide up? Can you even talk about eldest son or grandson in times like these? Aren’t Ah Ch’ou and your Ah Hsiung both Fang grandsons? What little money the old man has is about used up. They didn’t get a cent last year for winter rent, and Eldest Brother hasn’t paid his share of the family expenses for three or four months. It looks to me as though the old man’ll still have to support him from now on.”
Third Daughter-in-law sighed. “As parents their hearts are tipped way over toward their armpits! Eldest Brother is the only one who graduated from college and studied abroad. He spent quite a bit of money, and now he still wants to spend the old man’s money. I just don’t understand what good it did him to study abroad. He can’t even compare with our Third Brother, let alone Second Brother.”
Second Daughter-in-law said, “We’ll just see how ‘independent’ the woman college graduate is.”
All their old ill will was forgotten, and they became as close as sworn sisters (natural-born sisters being jealous of each other). Never would Sun Jou-chia have dreamed she had become an angel of peace between the two sisters-in-law.
After lunch Tun-weng took a nap, while Mrs. Fang escorted the two disgruntled maids out of the room. Second Daughter-in-law and Third Daughter-in-law both went to sleep with the children. With no one watching them, Ah Ch’ou and Ah Hsiung went into the living room to get the attention of Hung-chien. Ah Ch’ou told Eldest Uncle he wanted to see Eldest Aunt, asking mischievously, “Eldest Uncle, who is Sun Jou-chia?”
“Good boy,” said Hung-chien absentmindedly.
Ah Ch’ou asked for some wedding food to eat.
Hung-chien said, “Don’t fuss. Tomorrow Grandpa will give you some.”
Ah Ch’ou said, “Then give me a piece of candy now.”
“You just ate. What do you want candy for? You’re not as good a boy as Ah Hsiung.”
Ah Hsiung again took his thumb from his mouth and said, “I want a piece of candy, too.”
Hung-chien shook his head in exasperation and said, “What a nuisance. There isn’t any candy.”
Ah Ch’ou climbed up on the chair next to the window to see if there was anyone out on the street. Ah Hsiung was too small to climb up and wanted Eldest Uncle to lift him up. When Hung-chien, who was doing some calculations, ignored him, he assumed a tearful look and began yelling that he had to pee. Having never been a father, Hung-chien was unable to cope and putting down his pencil said, “Hold it. I’ll take you upstairs to find Mama Chang. But once you’ve gone upstairs, you’re not to come down again.”
Ah Hsiung didn’t want to go up and pointed to the spittoon next to the table. Hung-chien said, “Suit yourself.”
Ah Ch’ou turned his head and said, “Somebody just went by with a popsicle in his hand. He had two of them, and he was eating one and then the other. Eldest Uncle, he had two popsicles.”
When Ah Hsiung heard this, he forgot all about peeing and said, “I want to see him, too. Let me get up and see.”
Ah Ch’ou said gleefully, “He’s gone off somewhere. You can’t see him—Eldest Uncle, have you ever had a popsicle?”
Ah Hsiung said earnestly, “I want a popsicle.”
Ah Ch’ou hurriedly jumped down from the table and also said earnestly, “I want a popsicle.”
Hung-chien replied that when Mama Chang or Mama Sun had straightened up the room, he’d send one of them out to buy some, but now they were not to make a fuss. Whoever did would lose his popsicle. Ah Ch’ou asked how long it would take to straighten up the room. Hung-chien replied that it would be at least half an hour.
“I won’t make a fuss,” said Ah Ch’ou. “I’ll watch you write.”
Having had enough of his right thumb, Ah Hsiung tried the ring finger of his left hand for something new. Before Hung-chien had written as many as ten words, Ah Ch’ou asked, “Eldest Uncle, has it been half an hour yet?”
“Nonsense!” said Hung-chien impatiently. “It’s still a long way off.”
Ah Ch’ou endured a while longer, then said, “Eldest Uncle, your pencil is so pretty. Let me write a word.”
Hung-chien knew once he got his hands on the pencil it was condemned to death by decapitation and refused to give it to him. Ah Ch’ou searched from one end of the living room to the other and finally found a half-inch long pencil and an old invitation card. Giving the tip of the pencil a lick, he wrote out the characters “big” and “Fang,” nearly boring through the paper with his pencil in the process. The characters resembled a pile of matchsticks.
“OK, OK,” said Hung-chien, “go up and see if Mama Chang has finished yet.”
Ah Ch’ou left and then came back down, saying she hadn’t.
“You’ll just have to wait a little longer,” said Hung-chien.
Ah Ch’ou asked, “Eldest Uncle, when the bride comes, is she going to stay in that room?”
“It’s none of your concern.”
“Eldest Uncle, what does ‘relations’ mean?”
Hung-chien didn’t understand.
Ah Ch’ou said, “Did you have ‘relations’ with Eldest Aunt at school?”
Hung-chien pounded the table and sat up straight, demanding, “What kind of talk is that? Who taught you to say that?”
Ah Ch’ou was so frightened his face turned redder than Hung-chien’s, and he stammered out, “I—I heard Mama and Papa say it.”
“Damn your mother!” Hung-chien raged. “No popsicle for you. You’ve lost your popsicle!”
When Ah Ch’ou saw Hung-chien was serious and realized he was to get no popsicle, he pretended to a spiritual victory; retreating to a relatively safe distance, he said, “I don’t want your popsicle. My mama will buy me one. Eldest Uncle is bad. Bad Eldest Uncle. Dead Eldest Uncle.”
“You say any more nonsense,” said Hung-chien, gesturing at him, “and I’ll give you a spanking.”
Ah Ch’ou cocked his head to one side and puffed out his cheeks in defiance. Ah Hsiung sidled up to the table and said, “Eldest Uncle, I’m a good boy. I didn’t say it.”
Hung-chien said, “You’ll get a popsicle. Don’t be like him!”
When Ah Ch’ou heard that Ah Hsiung was still to get a popsicle, he went up to him, grabbed hold of his arm with one hand and held out the other, saying, “You lost my ball yesterday. Give it back. I want my ball. I want to bounce it now.”
In fright Ah Hsiung yelled for Eldest Uncle to rescue him. Hung-chien pulled at Ah Ch’ou, who then gave Ah Hsiung a cuff on the ear. Ah Hsiung burst into tears and wet the floor. Just as Hung-chien was scolding Ah Ch’ou, Second Daughter-in-law came down and rebuked them, “You two have wakened baby brother with your racket!”
When Third Daughter-in-law heard her son crying, she too hurried downstairs. Both children were then pulled upstairs by their mothers, with Ah Ch’ou demanding all the way, “How come
Eldest Uncle’s giving him a popsicle and not me?”
Hung-chien pulled out his handkerchief to wipe the sweat away and heaved a sigh. How could Jou-chia ever get used to living in a family like this, he wondered. He had never thought his sister-in-law would malign him and his wife like that behind their backs. She undoubtedly had all kinds of other unpleasant things to say, which he simply did not care to know. He now even regretted having heard Ah Ch’ou’s remark. Having heard their judgments of him behind his back, he’d be prepared to defend himself after death when interrogated by the King of Hades about his sins. He’d been too accustomed to his family all along to realize how much enmity and meanness lay underneath. Now because of Jou-chia he could observe it a little from an outsider’s vantage point, and he suddenly realized what had really been going on all these years among his brothers and sisters-in-law and even between father and son. He had been living in a dream world.
That night Mrs. Fang went through her trunks and chests trying to find a couple of pieces of jewelry salvaged from the war to present to her daughter-in-law the next day as a First Meeting gift.1
Tun-weng laughed at her, saying, “You think these modern women still want to wear those old antiques of yours? You may as well forget it. ‘A gift of a cart is not as good as a gift of words.’ Tomorrow I’ll give her a few words of advice.”
In the more than thirty years since Mrs. Fang had been married, she had long since lost any curiosity about unlocking the storehouse of wisdom contained in her husband’s quotations. She understood only the last sentence and said quickly, “You’d better be careful what you say tomorrow. Don’t you dare bring up anything about their past affairs.”
“Unless I’m as stupid as you!” replied Tun-weng hotly. “I’ve dealt in society for over twenty years. You think I don’t know that much about the ways of the world?”
At noon the next day Hung-chien went to fetch Jou-chia.
“Your family is more tradition-minded than we are,” said Jou-chia. “What’s the etiquette involved in today’s visit? I don’t understand it and I’m not going.”
Hung-chien said it was just an occasion for everyone to get acquainted, and there was no special etiquette. His father just wanted them to pay respects to their ancestors.
Jou-chia said peevishly, “Oh, so you Fangs have ancestors, while we just dropped from the sky and have none! Why don’t you pay respects to the Sun ancestors? Tomorrow I’ll have Papa make you kneel three times and kowtow nine times before photographs of my grandparents as a penalty. I want revenge!”
Hearing her lighthearted tone, Hung-chien smiled and said, “For my sake, suffer a little injustice.”
“If it weren’t for you,” said Jou-chia, “I really wouldn’t be willing to go today. I’m not a new puppy or kitten to be initiated in front of the Kitchen God, you know!”
When they arrived at the Fangs and Mrs. Fang saw Jou-chia wasn’t as beautiful as her picture, she was secretly disappointed. She also felt her clothes weren’t red enough for a bride and was especially disapproving of her shoes, which were an inauspicious white. Second Daughter-in-law and Third Daughter-in-law had done thorough makeup jobs which, because they had perspired so much in the heat, looked like the half-melted “happiness” character on wedding cakes. When they saw their new sister-in-law’s face, they relaxed and forgot their worries. As for her figure, however, they were not without disappointment. Though Jou-chia could not compare with Sarah Bernhardt, the French actress, who was so slim-waisted that swallowing one quinine pill would have made her look pregnant, she was undeniably slim. The prophecy of a “double blessing” was not to be fulfilled.
Tun-weng was delighted and plied his new daughter-in-law with questions, saying with a smile, “From now on Hung-chien’s mother and I won’t be looking after him. We’re entrusting him entirely to you—”
“Oh, yes!” Mrs. Fang put in. “Hung-chien has been incompetent since he was little. He couldn’t dress himself even by the time he was seven. Even now you can see he doesn’t know when to dress for warm or cool weather, and he recklessly eats sweet and salty things, just like a child. Dear, you’ll have to watch out for him. Hung-chien, you won’t listen to what I say, but now that you’re married, you must listen to what your wife says.”
Jou-chia said, “He won’t listen to me either—Hung-chien, did you hear that? From now on if you don’t listen to what I say, I’ll tell your mother.”
Hung-chien replied with a silly grin. Second Daughter-in-law and Third Daughter-in-law exchanged secret looks of disdain.
When Tun-weng learned Jou-chia was going to work, he said, “I have a word of advice for you. To be sure, it’s very good to have a job, but if both husband and wife work, ‘the home is without master, and the broom is left upturned.’ With everything at sixes and sevens, it’s a family in name only. I’m not a stubborn man, but I do feel taking care of the house is the woman’s responsibility. I have no dreams about your being filial toward us now, but you must make sure that your husband is kept content. Unfortunately, I’m here as a refugee. Our house is too crowded for you to stay with us. Otherwise, you could learn how to keep house from your mother-in-law.” Jou-chia nodded reluctantly.
When it was time for them to pay respects, a red carpet was spread before the sacrificial table, obviously intended for Hung-chien and his wife to kneel down before the souls of the Fangs’ departed ancestors. Jou-chia stepped stiffly onto the carpet without showing the least intention of kneeling down. Hung-chien, together with Jou-chia, bowed three times and was done. The onlookers were unable to express their shock and disapproval. Ah Ch’ou was more rash and asked his mother and father, “Why don’t Eldest Uncle and Eldest Aunt kneel down and kowtow?” Like a telephone ringing in an empty house, the remark was unanswered. Hung-chien was so embarrassed he wanted to hide. Fortunately Ah Ch’ou and Ah Hsiung scrambled onto the red carpet to kneel and made obeisance and nearly got into a fight, which diverted everyone’s attention. Mrs. Fang fully expected that after making obeisance to their ancestors, they would perform a formal kneeling ceremony of First Meeting before her and her husband. Hung-chien knew nothing of this rite, however, and thought that they were considered to have met the rules of etiquette the moment they walked in the house and that was all there was to it.
Thus the meal went anything but harmoniously. Ah Ch’ou insisted on sitting next to Jou-chia and telling Eldest Aunt to take some of this and some of that dish, giving orders right and left. By the time half of the dishes were served, Jou-chia had grown tired of humoring this pesky little nephew. Ah Ch’ou then kneeled on his chair and reached out to pick the food up by himself. While doing so, he accidentally knocked over Jou-chia’s wine glass. With a cry, she quickly stood up and jumped aside, but not before her new dress had been dyed with a trail of wine stains. Grandfather and Grandmother scolded Ah Ch’ou. Jou-chia quickly said that it didn’t matter. P’eng-t’u and his wife also gave their son a severe scolding and forbade him to eat any more. With a woeful look, Ah Ch’ou sulked and refused to get down from his chair. Meanwhile P’eng-t’u and his wife hoped Hung-chien and Jou-chia would put in some kind words to save their son’s face. To their surprise Hung-chien merely asked Jou-chia solicitously, “Can the wine stains be washed out? Luckily the meat ball he picked up didn’t roll onto your clothes. That was a close one!”
With a long face, Second Daughter-in-law pulled Ah Ch’ou upstairs. Everyone’s entreaties were too late. All that could be heard were Ah Ch’ou’s sharp cries of pain from half way up the stairs, shrill and prolonged like the whistle of an express train passing through a small station without stopping. These were followed by loud wails and bawling. P’eng-t’u listened in pain and said through clenched teeth, “That child deserves a good spanking. I’ll give it to him later when I go up.”
In the afternoon as Jou-chia was about to leave, Second Daughter-in-law, her face wreathed with smiles, said, “Don’t go. Why not stay here tonight?—Third Sister, let’s take custody of her—
Eldest Brother, only you can take her back home! You don’t want to make her stay?”
His eyes puffy from crying, Ah Ch’ou stood by ignoring everyone. Because her son and daughter-in-law had failed to kowtow to her, Mrs. Fang had not given them any jewelry. After she had seen them out, she returned to her room and grumbled to her husband.
“It’s not surprising that Sun Jou-chia’s manners are so wanting,” said Tun-weng. “People coming out of the schools are all rude and ignorant of the rules of etiquette. I don’t know much about her family, but she must not have received any training at home.”
“I carried him in me for ten months and raised him to manhood,” grumbled Mrs. Fang. “Now that he’s taken a wife, don’t I deserve a kowtow from the two of them? So maybe Sun Jou-chia doesn’t know any better, but then our Eldest should teach her. The more I think about it the angrier I get.”
“Don’t get upset,” urged Tun-weng. “After a while when our Eldest comes back, I’ll talk to him. He is such a muddlehead; I can see he’s going to be henpecked. But Sun Jou-chia does seem to be quite a sensible woman. Did you notice how she nodded in agreement just now when I told her not to go out and work?”
As soon as she had left the house, Jou-chia said, “A perfectly good dress, and now it’s ruined! I don’t know if the stains will ever come out. Never have I seen such unruly children!”
Hung-chien said, “I hate them myself. Luckily we won’t ever be living together. I realize the meal today completely turned your stomach. By the way, speaking of the children, it just occurred to me. I think you’re supposed to give them some First Meeting money, and tips to the two servants.”
Jou-chia stamped her foot and cried, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We don’t do that in our family. I’m just out of school. I don’t know all those silly old rules. What a nuisance! I don’t like being your Fang family daughter-in-law any more!”
“Never mind,” he comforted her. “I’ll go buy some red envelopes and give them out for you. That’ll settle it.”
“Whatever you think,” she said. “In any case, I can’t please your family. Those two sisters-in-law of yours aren’t easy to deal with, and your father’s remarks were pretty weird, too. I, Sun Jou-chia, a college graduate, going to your family as an unpaid maidservant! Humph, your family isn’t so well off as all that.”
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