I’d taken a jog that morning through the frosty grass, and then gone to school to face the saccharine hubbub. I still believed in love. I really did. But everything about this day felt so forced and pressurized. Girls were crying because they didn’t get flowergrams from the boys they liked. Veronica was pouting because Jay got her a giant bouquet of pink carnations and baby’s breath, instead of red roses. Two boys asked me out via flowergram and I had to politely turn them down. And then there were the happy couples. The hand holding and eye gazing. The stolen kisses when teachers weren’t looking.
Everywhere I looked was love alongside brokenness.
I was so tense when I got home that I decided to go for another jog to shake it off. Februaries in Georgia were always chilly, but it was brutal this year. My fingers, ears, and nose were freezing. Definitely not helping with the stress and tension factor. I turned for home just as flurries started falling.
We didn’t get much snow. Hardly any, actually. So when we did, it filled me with an almost childish feeling of excitement. I stopped jogging and walked home, grinning stupidly at the falling white flakes, holding out my icicle fingers to catch them.
I was so lost in the beauty of nature that I thought I’d imagined it when I heard a lovely, low, accented voice call my name. I stopped in front of my apartment building, still grinning, and turned. Then held my breath and let the grin fall from my face.
On the other side of the lot, standing next to a black car with the driver’s door open, was Kaidan. We stared without moving or speaking. I didn’t feel cold anymore.
He had on a knitted gray cap and his hair adorably stuck out of the edges and curled upward. His eyes were locked on mine, and even through the falling snow their blueness shone like a beacon to my heart. But I didn’t move toward him. The way he stood there with his hand on the door and a guarded expression—not angry or happy, just cautious—he reminded me of a wild animal. As if I’d stumbled into the path of a majestic stag in the woods. Any false move or sound could startle him away.
“Hi,” I whispered.
“Hi, yourself,” he said quietly.
This was really happening. I swallowed, and my chest shook a little when I breathed.
“I hate Valentine’s Day,” I told him.
The corners of his mouth hinted at a sad grin. “Yeah, it’s shite.”
I grinned a little, too. “Is everything okay?” I asked, wondering for the first time why he was here.
It took him a moment to answer, as our greedy eyes soaked each other in. “I just needed to see that you’re well. And it seems you are.” He gripped the door and I saw it move an inch, which caused a mild flurry of panic in my chest.
Don’t go, yet. Please don’t go.
I stepped to the edge of the sidewalk, still afraid that if I got too close, he’d vanish. But I needed to get close. I needed to tell him about the prophecy and that I’d always love him, even if he continued to deny me forever.
Seeing those eyes made me wonder how I could have ever thought he meant what he said to Kope. Or how I could have thought I could so easily move on. One glimpse at him and I was his all over again. A stab of guilt pained me when I thought about that closet in Australia.
I was halfway across the street, eyelashes fluttering away snowflakes. He was pushing past the door to come to me.
This is all I’d wanted. For him to come to me. Even for a moment. It didn’t matter that I probably looked like a mess from my frozen run, or that he’d spent the last year, and even longer, pushing me away. What mattered was that he was here now. And we could finally fix it all. I could see in his warm eyes that’s what he wanted, too.
And then the most awful, ugly sight dotted the far sky. We both noticed at once and halted. Two whisperers. They weren’t flying low—it seemed they were just passing over on their way somewhere else, but still. We couldn’t take the chance of being seen together.
Kaidan murmured something sharp, stepping back.
Icy fear filled me as I instinctually backed between the parked cars and toward the stairs, my eyes still on Kaidan. His eyes hit mine one last time, his jaw tight.
“Don’t try to follow me. I’m on my way to the airport.”
I nodded and he slid into the car like a shadow. The sleek vehicle pulled away as I shot up the stairs and into my apartment, tremors shaking my frozen body.
Patti was on me in an instant. “Are you okay? Did you see Kaidan? He was here!”
I let her lead me to the couch. The apartment felt so hot compared to outside. My eyes skidded around the walls, expecting whisperers to come flying in at us, but they didn’t. I caught a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror and saw a sheet of light snow melting in my hair. Patti put her warm hands on my cheeks.
“You’re freezing.”
I grabbed her hands and looked at her. “I saw him, but we didn’t get to talk because some stupid demons were flying over . . . and . . .”
I wanted to cry. I needed to cry. My eyes and throat burned, but I couldn’t get the tears to come. Instead, all I could do was gulp tiny gasps of air. Patti’s wide eyes went to the door.
“Did they see you two?”
I shook my head and she pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back. “Shh, it’s okay, sweet girl. You got to see each other. And that’s a blessing, right? Let’s just say I gave him a hug big enough for the both of us.”
I squeezed her harder, so glad she’d been able to pour some love into him on this stupid day of hearts and flowers, even if just for a minute.
“You better get ready for your self-defense class,” she murmured into my hair.
“I don’t want to go.”
“Your daddy will have a conniption if you miss your class. Maybe it’ll help you get your mind off everything.”
I sniffed, doubtful. “Maybe.”
It didn’t help get my mind off anything. Being there, grappling with my instructor and having my face smashed into the mat for the third time in ten minutes, only reminded me why I had to learn to fight in the first place.
Paul, a middle-aged ex-FBI sniper and hand-combat instructor, rocked back on his heels and shook his head at me.
“You sick or something?”
I pushed to my feet. “No. Sorry. Just distracted.”
“Why? Valentine’s Day?” He punched my shoulder and grinned. I had a feeling Paul was one of those freaky people who could kill someone with a pinch to a pressure point, but he was such a doting family man that you’d never know if you weren’t aware of his past jobs.
I rolled my eyes at him and said, “I had a bad day.”
“Go ahead.” He pointed to his chin. “Hit me as hard as you can. It’ll make you feel better.”
“No way.”
He laughed at me, but I wasn’t feeling playful. Paul had been trying to get me to punch him in the face for the past year. I used to think he was joking, but now I knew he was serious, which was beyond weird to me. He wasn’t afraid of pain or bruises, but I just couldn’t do it.
“All right, fine,” he said. “Enough mat work. Grab your knives and let’s practice running throws.”
I held back a groan. I sucked at throwing while in motion.
My phone beeped with a text and I ran over to check it, despite Paul’s glare. It was Veronica.
Party @ Will’s. Come w/me?
It was a Thursday night. If she was trying to go out on Valentine’s Day, and not mentioning Jay, then they must have been fighting. I nearly texted her back no, but then the thought of an ice-cold drink in my hand hit me with a stampede of tingles.
I’ll b there, I texted back.
I went back to an impatient Paul, who stood with his muscled arms crossed, ready to run me ragged.
I only hit the target twice. Twice out of, like, a million runs, turns, and throws. I was so tired of Paul yelling instructions that I almost took him up on the offer to punch him in the face. I’d never been so glad for a training session to end.
I didn’t bothe
r looking at my watch to see when I was starting my first drink. I tilted up the beer bottle and chugged with the full intention of getting drunk. Veronica’s eyes bugged out.
“Holy hell,” she said.
“Hell is not holy. Trust me.” I tossed my bottle and popped the top off another.
“Dang, someone’s pissy tonight,” Veronica said.
The first beer warmed my insides and I leaned against Veronica.
“I guess we both had a bad day, huh?” I asked her.
“Yep.” She tried to chug her beer but had to stop halfway through. “How do you do that? Beer is so nasty.”
Yeah, it was. I clinked mine to hers. “Let’s just have fun tonight, ’kay?”
“That’s what I’m talking about, girl.”
We clinked bottles again and I hollered across the room to Will, “Can we get some music in here?”
Everyone cheered.
Oh, boy.
Not good.
I couldn’t recall all the details, but it went something like this: We drank a little. Okay, a lot. Veronica started complaining about Jay and we got in a fight. Then I heard she was sick in the bathroom, so I pushed my way in to take care of her. We ended up on the porch, crying and hugging, Veronica puking one last time in the driveway, until Jay showed up to take us both home at midnight.
Ugh.
Patti didn’t say anything when I stumbled in, reeking like a brewery. She only looked relieved that I was home alive, and I felt guilty because I’d drunk way more than I should have even though there were no whisperers there. She pitied me for having to work, but I hadn’t been working. I’d just been partying.
I went to my room and flopped on my bed. The day weighed heavily on me. I wanted to cry or scream, but I couldn’t do either. I knew I should go to sleep, but I was wired and restless.
I pulled out my phone and called Marna. She answered right away.
“It’s five thirty a.m.”
“Sorry! I need Blake’s number,” I blurted.
She was quiet for a second and then sighed. “Very sneaky. I approve.” She recited the number and then hung up.
I dialed Blake, heart in my throat.
“Hello?” he said in his valley-boy voice. I could hear lots of voices in the background.
“Hey. It’s Anna. Is this a bad time?”
“Anna!” His voice lit up. “It’s a fine time. Just chillin’ with some friends.”
“Okay . . .” I totally clammed up. What was I supposed to say now? Give me the lowdown on Kaidan? Is he working? Is he okay?
“Let me guess,” Blake said. “You’re drinking and dialing.”
A loud laugh slipped out and I covered my mouth.
“That’s some dangerously cray-cray business right there,” he said.
“Yeah,” I admitted. The room spun a little as I lay back.
Blake was quiet a few seconds before saying, “He’s not here, by the way.”
“I know.” He was probably just arriving in L.A. I chewed my lip and curled up on my side, reluctant to say too much. Talking to Blake made me feel closer to Kai—that one degree of separation thing. “I just feel . . .”
“I know how you feel, girl. It’s all good. Everything’s fine.”
The thing about Blake was that he always sounded breezy and light, but I could sense seriousness in his words.
Loud, girly laughter erupted from his end of the phone and Blake laughed, too, covering the phone and saying something to the girls who were trying to talk to him.
“I’ll let you go, Blake,” I said. “I know you’re busy.”
“Never too busy for you. Will I see you soon?”
There was real hope in his voice and it made me smile.
“I hope so. Watch out for him, ’kay.”
“I always do.”
We hung up and some of the chill I’d been carrying all day melted away.
Spring
Senior Year
CHAPTER TWELVE
SPRING BREAK
It was finally warm outside again. I took things day by day, always on edge, always awaiting news of my next mission. The dairy bar opened during spring break, so I went back to work. I was halfway through my shift on Wednesday when the door to the ice cream stand burst open and my boss and coworker screamed. The giant man standing there looked scary as hell with his shaved head and all-black biker ensemble.
“Dad!”
He nodded at me and looked at my boss, a middle-aged woman who leaned back against the soft-serve machine with a hand on her heart, staring at him.
“Sorry, miss, but we have a family emergency. Anna’s gotta leave for a few days.”
Without taking her eyes off him she nodded, and her scared gray aura simmered into red.
Aw, c’mon. That’s just . . . ew.
Dad grabbed my hand.
“Sorry,” I called to my boss over my shoulder.
We headed to the compact rental car across the street. He cracked me up with those cars that didn’t match his gruff personality whatsoever.
“You need a Harley,” I told him.
“It’s not so easy to rent those when you’re in a hurry,” he replied, opening my door. “Get in.”
I did as I was told, but when he got in he didn’t start the car. He just turned his big body to me in the cramped space, and ran a hand down his goatee, frowning.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Remember last year before New Year’s when we had that regional meeting at Pharzuph’s?” My pulse quickened.
“Well, it’s time for another one. Tomorrow night in Atlanta. Just the U.S. Dukes.”
My insides rolled. “Do I have to go?”
“Hell, no. I can’t have you anywhere near Pharzuph. I need to get you out of town. Right now.” He tapped the steering wheel with thick fingers. “I’m telling them I’ve sent you on college trips.”
“Where am I really going?”
“All over the damn place.” He pulled a folded paper from his back pocket. I scanned the itinerary and realized he wasn’t kidding. I would be traveling the world, one airport to the next, for three straight days.
“It’ll be safer for you in the skies. The Legionnaires don’t venture up there—they stay low to earth.”
“Will you get in trouble if I’m not there?” I asked.
“Nah. Don’t worry ’bout that. Your flight leaves in five hours. Go pack a bag and get Patti to take you.”
“Will Kaidan and Blake be there?”
“I’m sure they will,” he said. Then he tapped my temple. “Head in the game, gal.”
I hugged him across the small console and he kissed my forehead.
I called Marna during my France layover. I’d be landing in London shortly and would have more than two hours before my next flight. As I dialed her, my eyes surveyed the airport lobby, just as I’d done at every stop, looking for spirits. I hadn’t seen any.
“Hallo?” she answered.
“Hey,” I said.
“It’s clear here,” she told me. “He’s away at some gala.”
“Are you working tonight?” I asked.
“We’re on our way out. What’s up with you?”
Without giving her any details or reasoning, I explained that I’d be stopping in London on a layover during my travels. She got all excited and said she’d try to make it out for a quick visit if she was done working by then.
When I arrived in London, Marna met me at a coffee shop just inside the airport. It was nearly midnight, but plenty of people were still around. We sat at a tall table on high stools with our creamy cappuccinos.
“Ginger’s not coming?” I asked.
She gave me a tight smile and took a sip. “She’s still working. She can kill me later.”
We both sipped our hot drinks and she eyed me.
“No offense, luv, but you look cream crackered.”
“Huh?”
She giggled. “Knackered.”
Oh, yeah, “tired.” I
’d tried to learn some of that Brit slang online, but it was all confusing to me.
“I’m so out of it.” I lay my head down and she laughed.
“Tell me what’s been up since I last saw you. Any new friends?”
I knew she meant allies, and I smiled as I sat back up. “Yep. Just one, but he’s a good one.”
“Fab.” She grinned. “And how is our lad Kope?”
I swallowed. “He’s fine. I haven’t talked to him since I saw him at Christmas.”
“Hm.” She watched me carefully and her probing eyes threw me off-kilter. My mouth went dry.
He couldn’t have told her. There’s no way.
“What?” I asked. It came out all nervous and guilty sounding. Great.
“Nothing.” She propped her elbows on the little round table. “It’s just that you can talk to me if you’d like.”
She seriously must have had some kind of radar for gossip. I had zero intention of telling any living soul about the kiss or Kope’s secret. No way was I spilling those beans.
“He’s great to work with,” I told her. “It’s been nice getting to know him.”
Her eyebrows went up. “Something’s happened,” she stated with gleeful assuredness.
Gah! Dry mouth. I grabbed my mug and sipped, trying to make a face at Marna like she was crazy, but I couldn’t manage to get my eyebrows together in a convincing-enough furrow. She gasped and let her palms fall smack against the table, gaping at me.
“Get out!” she said. “He snogged your face off, din’ he?”
I coughed. “Really? This is Kope we’re talking about, Marna.”
“He totally did! Your acting is horrendous, Anna.”
This could not be happening.
I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes. “You have to promise you won’t tell a soul. Especially not Ginger.” I sat up and looked at her ogling face. “I’m serious, Marna, because what happened was a total fluke. We’d just been scared to death, and we were still caught up in the emotions from that. He would die if he knew I told you. It was just one kiss.” One really steamy kiss.
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