by Amanda Renee
“Our timing is off.” Belle scratched under Lillie’s chin. She was surprised the piglet had allowed Lydia to examine her this long without a single protest. “He has his hands full with Ivy and I have mine full with Trudy. I need to spend more time at the nursing home. I haven’t been there as much this past week. She won’t be around for much longer, at least not in a lucid capacity. I love being with Harlan and Ivy, but it’s taking away from the time I normally spend with my grandmother.”
“Your grandmother would want you to have fun and enjoy yourself.” She handed Lillie to Belle. “Her back looks better. Your grandmother’s the one who wanted you to marry Harlan. You did this for her.”
“Only because she didn’t know better.”
“Because I love you dearly, I’m calling bull on that.” Lydia tugged off her examination gloves and tossed them in the trash bin. “You were looking for a good enough excuse to talk to Harlan and don’t you tell me otherwise. I’ve spent enough time around you to notice when you’re pining for a man. We are in contact with some of the hottest single cowboys in the state and no matter how many times you’ve been asked out, you either go on one date or you turn them down altogether. You compare them all to Harlan whether you realize it or not.”
Belle hated that there was some truth to that statement. She’d spent the last eight years comparing every man she met to the man who broke her heart. She thought it was to protect herself from getting hurt again. Now she realized it was the opposite. No man could permeate the shield she’d built around her heart, except Harlan. Only he held the key. The problem was, she’d changed the locks long ago.
Chapter Ten
“Please don’t go.” Harlan stood in the middle of the stable the next morning. “My daughter and I need you here. Not at Lydia’s.” Belle had already begun packing what little there was of her belongings and planned to move what she could into her friend’s spare bedroom tomorrow morning. “You won’t have any privacy over there. If you want to stay in the apartment above the stables, that’s fine. I’ll get a couple of space heaters to warm up the place. But you can’t leave. Besides, Ivy’s in love with Imogene and it would break her heart if she left.”
Belle gave the man credit. He knew how to play the kid card to perfection. “Ivy can have Imogene. I think she’d be very happy staying here on your ranch, as long as you keep her safe.”
“We will, thank you.” Harlan removed his hat and took a step toward her. “And what about you? Wouldn’t you be happy staying here on the ranch? I promise to keep you safe.”
The man made her knees weak with a simple turn of phrase. She tilted her head back and groaned. He closed the remaining space between them and kissed the tender spot at the base of her throat.
“That’s not playing fair.” Belle allowed him to trail a few more kisses along her collarbone before she broke from his grasp. “Don’t you want time alone with your daughter to sort the Molly situation out? I’m always around when Ivy’s home. Either she’s out in the stables with me or we’re all in the house together.”
“I won’t lie. I’ve thought about that, too, but you bring out a joy and happiness in Ivy I haven’t seen before.”
“That’s only because I gave her a puppy.”
“Don’t belittle that connection, Belle. Please.” Harlan took her hands in his. “You’ve had a very positive effect on her and I’d like it to continue, regardless of where you and I stand. You’ll be here once the rescue center opens and I feel more comfortable with her getting to know you with me around. It shows her I’m okay with your relationship. She doesn’t have another woman to confide in or talk to about female things. The woman who watches her after school is great, but she’s not the warm and fuzzy type like you.”
Belle laughed and returned to spreading fresh hay around Samson’s stall. She’d never heard herself described as warm and fuzzy before. She kind of liked it. But the fact remained—Molly had returned and that was the bond he needed to foster.
“She has her mother now.”
“Ivy hasn’t agreed to meet Molly yet and I’m not forcing the issue either. Even if that all goes well, she won’t be around 24/7. That’s a definite. But you will be. Here or the other side of the ranch, you’ll be on the property.”
“Okay, okay.” Belle stepped into the corridor and closed the stall door. “I’ll stay.”
“Great.” Harlan’s arm slid around her waist as he whirled her against his chest. His mouth claimed hers the way no other man could as his fingers splayed in her hair, drawing her even closer as he deepened their kiss. “I’ll change your mind about me, however long it takes.” His breath was warm against her lips. “Now I need you to do me a favor,” he murmured.
“Yes.” Belle barely recognized the sound of her own voice.
Harlan pulled away abruptly. “Will you watch Ivy? We’re out of milk and I need to run to the store. She’s in the house watching cartoons. I’m sure she’d love it if you joined her.”
“Oh, I get it now.” She playfully swatted him. “You just want a free babysitter.”
“Be careful, you’re assaulting a police officer. Don’t make me handcuff you.” He ran to his cruiser and hopped in before she attacked him again. He cracked the window an inch. “Bye, honey. I’ll be back in a few.”
She watched him drive away before heading into the house. “How are you doing, kiddo?” Belle plopped beside Ivy and Elvis on the couch while Phineas and Ferb played on the wide screen. She didn’t watch much television but she recognized the cartoon as one of Lydia’s boys’ favorites. She didn’t even own a TV, probably because her grandmother had never been big on it. Except for Wheel of Fortune. Trudy loved that show.
“I’m okay. I have a mommy now.” Ivy’s voice was just barely audible.
Belle reached for the remote and turned down the sound. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Ivy shifted Elvis onto her lap and wrapped her arms around him. “Does that mean you have to go away?”
“Only if you and your daddy want me to.” Belle hated the sadness etched across the little girl’s face.
Ivy shook her head. “Daddy says she wants to see me. What if she still doesn’t like me?”
Belle swallowed hard, trying her best not to cry. “Honey, she didn’t leave because she didn’t like you. She left because she was confused.” Among other things. “Maybe she has something good to tell you. She came a long way to see you, so that counts for something, right?”
Belle couldn’t believe she was defending Molly in any capacity. It was none of her business and Harlan would probably kill her, but Belle had firsthand experience of what it was like to be the abandoned kid. Many of her fears and questions would probably be answered in one meeting.
“Maybe. I’ll sleep on it some more.” Ivy returned her attention to the television, effectively ending their conversation.
A few minutes later, Belle’s phone rang. The number was unfamiliar but she answered it anyway. “Hello.”
“It’s Molly—please don’t hang up.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. The sound of Molly’s voice reverberating in her ear made her ill. Belle’s left eye started to twitch. “How did you get my number?” She stood from the couch and walked out onto the porch.
“I took a chance you still had the same one.” Her voice didn’t sound as confident over the phone as it had in person.
Lucky me.
“I wondered if we could meet later and talk.”
“I have plans today.” Not really. “And my schedule is pretty tight during the week between work and my grandmother. In case I wasn’t clear before, allow me to reiterate. I don’t want you anywhere near the nursing home. You and Harlan may have come to some sort of an understanding, but that doesn’t change anything between you and me.”
“Would you be able to meet me for
breakfast before work tomorrow?”
Belle rolled her shoulders. “We are not sitting down to a meal together. There might be a slim chance of that happening in the future, but not tomorrow or even next month.”
“Okay, I get it. I won’t bother you again.”
Crap! Belle hated the sound of dejection. Either Molly was really good or Belle was really weak. “Coffee. We can meet for one cup of coffee. To go. We’ll walk to the park and back.”
“Thank you. Seven o’clock?”
“Six. I work on ranches all day. We get up before the roosters.”
“Six it is. I noticed that little coffee shop is still in town. Meet there?”
“Sure. See you tomorrow.”
Belle disconnected the call and sat on the porch steps. She drew her knees to her chest and waited for Harlan’s return. Ivy’s laughter carried through the screen door. As long as she was laughing Belle didn’t need to go inside and babysit. Her nerves were too on edge and she was afraid Ivy would pick up on her tension.
Harlan drove up a few minutes later and joined her on the top step. “Are you all right?”
“I just finished making a coffee date with your ex.”
“No, you didn’t.” Harlan smiled.
She exhaled deeply, and all humor drained from his face. “You did?”
“She wanted to meet today, but I told her no. I need to spend some time at the nursing home. Then she asked if I would meet her for breakfast tomorrow. I compromised with coffee.”
“Should I send a deputy over for police protection?”
“Molly may be many things, but she’s not physically aggressive. I’ll be okay.”
“I meant to protect her.” Harlan jumped up and ran in the house.
“Oh, very funny!” she called after him, relishing the sound of his laughter. Ivy and Harlan had similar laughs. His was deeper, of course, but they both threw their heads back when they found something humorous and laughed with their entire bodies.
He brought her out a mug of coffee a few minutes later. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Thank you.” She sipped the hot brew. “I’m just taking it all in. I never noticed some of the peaks in the mountains.” The sun had been up for a couple of hours and cast highlights and shadows over the Swan Range. “We grew up with them always being the backdrop of our daily lives, and their beauty was the major reason why I chose this house, but I don’t think I’ve ever sat and looked at them. The last time I hiked them was probably junior high. I remember the views of the Swan Valley and Saddle Ridge were breathtaking, but I haven’t done it again. I’m always going. Never stopping to appreciate what’s around me.”
“Wow. You’re right. Ivy’s seven and I haven’t taken her on any hikes or trail rides. Dylan has her on the back of a horse all the time and occasionally she’ll ask to ride here in the corrals. I ride this ranch all the time. She’s never with me, though. We need to change that.” He stood and held out his hand to her. “What are you doing today?”
“I plan to spend the afternoon with my grandmother.” She reveled in the feel of his palm against hers. “I’m free the rest of the day.”
Harlan released her and leaned into the kitchen. “Ivy, go put on your riding clothes. We’re taking the horses out into the valley this morning.”
The sound of her bare feet smacking the floorboards as she ran up the stairs echoed all the way outside.
“No arguments from her, are there?” Belle laughed. “You mentioned earlier that she hadn’t agreed to meet Molly. What happened?”
“Well, we had our talk. She didn’t react with any enthusiasm. In fact, she didn’t react to much at all. I asked her if she wanted to see her mother and she told me she had to sleep on it.”
Belle knew she shouldn’t laugh, but she couldn’t help herself. “That’s too funny. I wonder where she got that from?”
“She’s a regular chip off the old block.”
“I remember when your dad used to say that.”
Growing up, most of her friends had two parents and had been unable to relate to her only having a grandmother for family. As she got older, more people in her life lost their parents to death or divorce. She’d always felt a disconnect when she was around Harlan’s massive family, despite their enormous generosity toward her. Now Harlan and Ivy both experienced that loss and emptiness. She’d never had it to miss. It must be much worse for them.
“Do you want me to saddle the horses?” she asked, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts.
“I’m right behind you.” He tugged his hat down lower. “We’ll take Outlaw, Dillinger and Clyde.”
Belle smiled at his choice of names. She’d seen them etched on wooden plaques in front of the stalls, but hadn’t had a chance to acknowledge them before. “I’m sensing a definite theme with you.”
“I love my outlaws,” he whispered in her ear as he strode past her.
Her mile-wide smile betrayed any composure she fought to control. Did he just tell me he loved me? He stopped at the tack room entrance and held the door for her, winking as she passed under his arm. Oh, my God! I think he just did.
* * *
THE BACK OF a horse was Harlan’s second home. He’d wanted to be one of two things when he was growing up: the sheriff or a horse trainer. He still had a while to go before he made sheriff, but he had trained every one of the five horses in his stables.
Ivy rode between the two of them along the Swan River. His neighbor’s ranch bordered the water and he had told Harlan he could ride their trails anytime. He’d had all this magnificent beauty at his fingertips and his daughter had been inside watching television every weekend. From this day forward, he vowed to plan something outdoorsy for them to do as a family at least one day a week.
“Daddy, is that snow?” Ivy pointed halfway up one of the mountains.
Harlan smiled. “No, baby, that’s not snow. Snow doesn’t move.”
Belle reined her horse to a stop and followed their gaze. “They’re mountain goats. That’s a whole bunch of them for us to be able to see them like this.”
“Remember our class trip to Glacier National Park?” Harlan asked.
“When the mountain goats were running alongside our red Jammer buses on Going-to-the-Sun Road? I kept thinking they’d run in front of us, but they didn’t.”
“That’s the only bus we were allowed to stand up in and not get yelled at.”
“You’re not allowed to stand in the bus, Daddy. It’s against the rules.”
“You can in these, sweetie. They’re vintage buses from the 1930s with a roll-back top, kind of like Uncle Jax’s convertible. When you stop at various points throughout the park, you can stand up and take photos out of the roof.” Harlan shook his head and looked at Belle. “Why am I explaining this to her when I can make reservations and take her there? We’re only a little over an hour away.”
“She’s never been to Glacier National Park? It’s practically in your backyard.”
Harlan didn’t have a response. He was ashamed to admit the idea never entered his mind. Here he had prided himself on being such an amazing single dad, at least by his standards, and he’d neglected to do anything meaningful with his daughter. Instead, he had relied on his older brother to do it for him.
“There are going to be quite a few changes around here.”
Belle nudged Dillinger toward him. “I didn’t mean to imply you were a bad father.”
“You didn’t.” Harlan reached for her hand. “I’m glad you said something, though. I’ve missed out on too much of her life and she’s been right in front of me the entire time.”
They spent the rest of the morning exploring along the river before heading home for lunch. A million ideas ran through his head. Belle probably wouldn’t be able to join them for some of their outings
because of her schedule, but they’d make it work. Molly kept creeping into his thoughts. If she insisted on forcing the visitation issue, she’d probably have to come along on some of their trips. She lived almost seven hours away in Billings, but had told Harlan she’d consider relocating if things went well with Ivy. Selfishly he hoped they wouldn’t. For Ivy’s sake, he prayed they would. As much as he despised what Molly had done to them, he didn’t want his daughter to grow up wondering what if. He’d already watched one child live through that nightmare, and Belle was only beginning to come into her own.
* * *
“I SHOULD HEAD OUT.” Belle finished loading his dishwasher with their lunch plates then dried her hands. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back tonight. I may stay for the dinner service.” She gave Ivy a kiss on the forehead before they stepped onto the porch. “Thank you for a wonderful morning.”
Harlan slid his fingers into the belt loops of her jeans and tugged her to him. “Have I convinced you to stay permanently yet?” He widened his stance so he could look into her eyes. “You’ve always been a part of this ranch, you just haven’t realized it.”
“You’re not playing fair again.” She’d had another taste of family life today and it excited her down to her toes. It’s what she had always wanted. “I need to get to the nursing home.” She leaned in as her lips grazed his, softly at first as the anticipation thickened the air in her lungs. Her fingers brushed the nape of his neck and she felt the hair rise at her touch. Her mouth moved over his, unapologetically firm as her tongue sought his. It was the first kiss she’d initiated since they’d married. And she liked it. Maybe a real relationship with Harlan wouldn’t be so bad. “I’ll see you later.”
“Talk about not fair,” Harlan called after her.
Belle practically skipped to the stables. She fed and checked on the animals before heading into town. She uncovered a new sense of wonderment when it came to Harlan. She’d always been drawn to the man, and even fascinated by him from afar. Unbeknownst to him, or anyone else for that matter, she’d been there the day he graduated from the police academy. She’d worn a brunette wig and borrowed a dress of her grandmother’s so no one would recognize her. And the day he’d been promoted to deputy sheriff, she’d watched the courthouse steps ceremony from the window of the stationery store across the street. The need to be a part of the monumental moments in his life had always confounded her. She’d have sworn on her life to anyone who’d listen that she’d gotten over him the day he left her in the church. But she’d lied to everyone, including herself.