Crushing Misery

by Kinsey Taylor

  “Sorry, I’m eating and talking, but I’m starving.”

  I can hear Ashlynn in the background.

  “I want to talk to Corbee, please, Mommy.”

  “Hold on just a second, okay? Let me put down my food first.”

  The phone is shuffled around, and then the most perfect sound comes through the phone.

  “Corbee, I miss you. You come visit?”

  “You know I will when I can, beauty.”

  “Yay!” she screams into the phone.

  “Shh, baby, don’t be so loud. It’s late,” I hear Kennedy say to Ashlynn.

  “You having a fun trip so far?”

  She is quiet, and with Ashlynn I have learned that was never a good thing.

  “No! I weally miss you.”

  “I know, baby, I know. It’s not forever; it’s just for right now. Before you know it, we will be together again. I love you, Ashlynn.”

  “I wove you too, Corbee.”

  “Sweet dreams, beauty.”

  “Sweet dreams. I want to go lay down now, Mommy.”

  “You okay, baby?”

  No answer.

  “Ok, baby, come lay over here.”

  I hear a muffled sound and then Kennedy comes back on the line.

  “She has the saddest face right now. This is going to be hard for both of us. We miss you already.”

  “Well, I miss my girls. I broke down today at the gym. Riggs came in and laid it out for me. He said I need help, and for once I listened to what he had to say. Then I got it from Coach when he came in and saw me punch Riggs in the gut.”

  “What? You punched Riggs? Why did you do that?”

  “He was being an asshole, so I wiped the smile right off that pretty face of his,” I laugh.

  That gets a laugh out of Kennedy.

  “So you are going to get help?”

  “Yes. I didn’t realize until you left that I actually needed to. I know my life isn’t normal, but what is normal about me?”

  That gets another loud laugh out of Kennedy.

  “Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?”

  “Yes, yes, I do. Corbin, you are so far off the spectrum of normal, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes that scares me, too. You are so intense, and you do things others wouldn’t even dare to attempt, and I think I know why.”

  Silence.

  “I think you just don’t care what happens to you, or at least you didn’t. I think you do now, and I know you don’t do crazy shit when we’re around. I’ve heard some of the comments your friends have made, and you’re always the life of the party.”

  “Boss, you know what happened brought me into the darkness. Every heart deals with pain differently. Mine numbs me in a way, and I just kept sinking deeper until you and Ashlynn came along. You girls lit my world on fire, smacking me with everything I never wanted, only to realize you’re the only thing I’ve ever needed.”

  “Corbin, I have to get up early, and I need to go get some sleep. I’m glad we had this talk. Makes you seem not so far away.”

  “I’m always just a phone call away, babe.”

  “Night, Corbin.”

  “Night, Kennedy.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Kennedy

  Pulling down the dusty dirt road heading towards Grams and Pops’ house, arriving at our final destination is bittersweet. Getting us going this morning was nothing short of a chore. Ashlynn woke in a foul mood, and I know the phone call with Corbin set something off inside her. She cried herself to sleep last night while I was wrapped around her, trying to ease her blues away. I look up ahead as the large white farmhouse comes into view and a smile stretches across my face. The sun rays beaming through the trees towards the back of the house cast an ethereal glow. It’s magical.

  “We are here, Ashlynn.”

  “Yay,” she screams out.

  I step out the car, and Grams is already out the front door and quickly heading down the front porch steps. I open Ashlynn’s door, unbuckle her, and as I turn in Grams’ direction, she engulfs us both in the biggest hug.

  “You are finally here. My beautiful grandbabies.”

  “We are here,” Ashlynn announces.

  Taking Ashlynn from me, Grams holds her close to her and kisses her on the cheek. “I’m so happy you are finally here, sunshine. I bet that was an awfully long drive for you.”

  Nodding, Ashlynn kisses Grams on the cheek and hugs her tightly. Arms wrap around me, and I jump turning because I know it is Pops by his Old Spice cologne.

  “Pops, how I’ve missed you!”

  “My girl is finally here. I have missed you, my beautiful girl.”

  “Where’s my other girl at? Let me at her.”

  “Me!” Ashlynn squeals.

  “There she is. Now come to Pops, sweet pea.”

  Ashlynn dives out of Grams’ arms, and Pops catches her in his, bringing her against his chest in a hug. Pops is still in fantastic shape for a seventy-year-old man. Besides Bruce, he is the only other man I treasure.

  Well, that was until Corbin came crashing into our lives like a fighter guarding his title.

  “Come inside, and you can bring in your things later. I bet my girls could use a drink,” Gram says.

  “Yes, I know I could go for one of your sweet teas, Grams,” I say smiling with a wink.

  “I made a fresh brew this morning just for you, my girl.”

  We walk inside, and the smell of freshly baked bread lingers through the air.

  “Oh, you made fresh bread, Grams?” I question.

  “You know I have to take care of my sweet girls, and after all the fast food I bet you’ve been eating, a home cooked meal is the least I can do.”

  Turning, I engulf her in a hug.

  “Thank you, Grams. You don’t know what this means to me and thank you for letting us come visit for a while. I’ve missed you so much.”

  “We’ve missed you too, Kennedy. More than you know.”

  I pull away, and tears fill my eyes clouding my vision. When Grams sees my tears, she holds me out at arms length, giving me a good once over.

  “Things are going to be okay, Kennedy. You are a very strong, young woman, and you will get through this. Anything we can do to help, you just ask, sweet pea.”

  “Thank you. I love you so much, and I’m so glad to be here.”

  As I dial Corbin’s number, the emotions rolling around nonstop inside me are making me anxious with fear. I feel like I abandoned him right when he needs me most. The only thing keeping me here is knowing that the two of us need to move forward; it’s essential to get the help we need to heal from our hellish pasts. I felt like a damsel in distress, and even as good as it feels for Corbin to be our savior, I know it is wrong and has the potential to tear us apart later. I realized that night Corbin’s hellish story spilled from his beautiful lips – I knew I had to leave to heal us both.

  I’m determined to be enough for him and to be strong enough to be the partner he so desperately deserves. I know this won’t be easy, but I know in the end it is what I have to do. Ashlynn deserves a mother she can look up to, be proud of, and who shows her the right way to handle what life throws her way.

  My call goes to voicemail, so I leave a message.

  “Hi, it’s me. I just wanted to let you know we made it here safely. Call me when you have a chance, please. Corbin, I miss you terribly. Bye.”

  Hanging up, immediately thinking, He’s just training, Kennedy. He’s a strong man; he will overcome this as long as he gets the help he needs. That’s where the problem lies with my fear. I’m so afraid he won’t reach out and get the help he so desperately needs. I have to have a little faith he will accomplish what he sets his mind to do.

  A knock on the door startles me.

  “Come in,” I call out. The door swings open, and there stands my Pops.

  “I cleaned up the Malibu. You want to take a spin with an old man?” he says with a wink.

  “I would love t
o.” I smile. “Let me just fix my face, and I’ll be right down.”

  “See you downstairs. And Kennedy, your face is just perfect.”

  He turns, leaving me to get ready.

  Pops tosses me the keys, and I catch them looking up at him in surprise.

  “Don’t look so surprised, sweet pea. You drive.” Pops walks around to the passenger side, pulls the door open, and climbs inside. The thrill I feel behind the wheel of this car is like Christmas morning. I’ve loved this car ever since I first laid eyes on her. Justeen and Jagger never took an interest in Pops’ love for old vintage cars the way I did.

  That’s why when Corbin pulled up to the house that day in his Mustang I was in shock. The funny thing about it thinking back on it now is the nickname Corbin gave me from the very beginning is Boss. I think it is ironic but symbolic at the same time.

  “Pops, Corbin... the guy… I mean… my friend. Well, you’ll never guess what kind of car he drives.”

  “I’m sure you are going to tell me. Kennedy, your mother has told us all about this Corbin fellow and what he has done for you and Ashlynn.”

  “She has, huh? He has a black 1969 Mustang Fastback Boss 429. Can you believe it? I told him you’d love it and have a picture of one hanging up in your garage.”

  “Wow! Is it fully restored?”

  “Oh, Pops! This thing is cherry. I freaked out the first time I saw her. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The story of why he got it is a sad one, though. His friend growing up died when he was only eight years old, and that was the hot wheels car he had given him as a present. He has it to honor his friend, Landry’s, memory.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. What a nice way to honor his friend, though. I would sure like to see that someday and take her for a spin.”

  “I’ll put in a good word for you.” I laugh.

  After our little adventure driving around, we head back to the house.

  “Take her into town with you. She needs to be driven more to get out some of her kinks, and I know you’ll take good care of her.”

  “You sure?” I question.

  “Yes. I’m sure. Not having a senior moment. I know you secretly love her like I do.”

  Getting all giddy with excitement, I decide to head into town to see if there is a dojo where I can train and maybe even a gym to keep me conditioned and fit. I know where a few things are, but it’s been a while since I’ve been into town. I’ll have to check out the lay of the land. About half a mile down, the car starts lagging I look down at the temperature gauge and pull over right away when I see it’s overheating. I get out of the car, pull the lever to pop the hood, and open it up. The smell hits me as the barrel of smoke surges from the engine.

  “Shit!”

  Of course, this would happen the first time I drive Pops car by myself and without my cell phone. A tow truck passes and pulls off to the side. Oh, I haven’t even been here a full twenty-four hours, and things are already falling apart.

  “You need some help?” the tall, dark, tattooed man says to me.

  “Yeah, if you don’t mind. It’s overheating; that’s why I pulled over,” I say.

  Well, duh, Kennedy. I bet he can figure there is something wrong with your car.

  “Let me check it out real quick.”

  When he walks around me, I notice he’s wearing regular jeans and a studded belt with a rope chain hanging low, connected to his wallet, I assume.

  Turning, he says, “I’m Ander Stone. I work over at the Stoned Choppers and Metal Shop.”

  “Thanks for stopping, Ander. I’m Kennedy Anderson, nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand to him. He takes my outreached hand and firmly shakes it.

  “You’re Mr. and Mrs. Holt’s granddaughter?” he questions.

  “Yes, I sure am. Wait. You know my Grams and Pops?”

  Laughing, he looks over his shoulder at me.

  “Yeah, I know your Grams and Pops, princess. I’ve worked on this car a few times. He knows my Uncle Seth. Your mom and my uncle went to school together back in the day.”

  “Oh, that’s cool. I haven’t been here for a while.”

  “Oh, I know. I would have for sure recognized you if you had,” he says with a smirk.

  “Oh, you would have, huh?” I say coyly.

  “Bet your ass I would have.” His eyes held mine for a beat before continuing.

  “Okay, looks like your water pumps cracked and needs to be replaced. If you want to go jump in the truck, I’ll get this all ready to get hooked up, and I’ll pull the truck back, connect, and we should be on our way.”

  “Okay,” I say. While walking over to the truck, I think what a cocky bastard he is. He seems nice enough, I mean he did stop after all, but he’s already flirting.

  I climb into the cab of his truck and lean into the doorframe watching Ander. He’s standing there staring at me. Shaking my head, I smile, plop down and close the door. He gets everything hooked up, and we head to his garage… or so I think. When we pull up in front of his shop, I see that it’s a motorcycle shop.

  “I thought you fixed cars?” I question.

  “Yeah, I do. Don’t jump the gun the garage is around the back of the bike shop, doll. Don’t worry, I’ll get you fixed up, but you might want to stay out here. You go inside, and there is no telling how these guys are going to react to the site of you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.

  “We don’t have many young hot girls around these parts, princess. I’m only trying to protect you from the things those dirty bastards might say in your presence.”

  “Oh, it’s kind of hot today. Do you think I could get a bottle of water, please?”

  “Sure doll, follow me, but stay with me okay.”

  Nodding my head yes, I follow closely behind him. I feel my anxiety kick up. Just as I step inside, I notice heads turning and hear the clinks and grinding of metal against metal followed by the strong smell of oil and grease. Ander walks around to the desk where there is a cooler; he opens the door and pulls out a bottle of water.

  “Here, I just need to write up something for your car and give them your keys,” he says.

  “The keys are in the ignition. Sorry, I forgot, plus I thought you might need them since you were hooking it up to the tow truck,” I say in embarrassment.

  “It’s okay, doll. I’ll get them. They wouldn’t get far, now would they?” he says with a wink.

  I have to admit he is hot. His tattoos are colorful and in your face, not out of sight like mine, and man does he have a lot of them.

  “Can I use your phone, please? I need to call my grandparents to let them know where I am and what’s going on.”

  “Sure thing.” He reaches into his pocket and holds out his cell. I take it from him. His smile broadens, and he walks away.

  “I’ll be right back, so stay right here, okay?”

  “Okay.” I smile at him.

  I call the house, and Grams answers.

  “Hello, Holt residence,” she says.

  “Hi, Grams, it’s Kennedy. The car overheated, and some guy named Ander, from Stoned Choppers, picked me up. I’m here now at the shop. I’m sorry about this and leaving Ashlynn with you for much longer than I planned.”

  “Oh, dear, you’re fine. It’s not your fault. That car is old and has been sitting for far too long. I’ll send Pops to come and get you.”

  “Oh, thank you,” I say in relief.

  “He’ll be there shortly, dear.”

  “Thanks, Grams.”

  Ander walks back inside, and I hand over his phone.

  “My Pops is coming to pick me up. Thanks for stopping to help and letting me use your phone.”

  “It was my pleasure, doll.”

  Sipping my water, I walk over to the nearest chair, plopping my butt down to wait. I glance outside from time to time. Ander comes over and sits down next to me.

  “Umm… I was wondering since you’re new here and all if you would like to go out to dinner with
me some time?”

  I stare back in disbelief, admiring those electric blue eyes so eager and that killer smile. He is so different from Corbin. He has that rugged, James Dean, rocker look to him. Lots of tattoos, a snake-bite pierces his bottom lip, a hoop on the right side of his nose, and a stud in the left. Two dermal anchors on the left side of his face close to his eye round out the piercings. It makes me wonder what else he has done. I’m a sucker for tall men and tattoos, and he is very tall, like Corbin.

  Oh, Corbin, I can’t do this to you.

  I felt the loss of him the minute I drove out of town, but I need to make some new friends while I’m here.

  “Ander, as nice as that offer is, I’ll have to pass. I have a guy waiting for me back home. We can get together for coffee or a drink, but strictly as friends?”

  “I’m always the fucking friend,” he mutters under his breath as he storms off into the garage.

  My pops pulls up right then. Thank goodness. I need to get out of here and away from the tension. Pops walks in as Ander walks back inside still looking angry.

  “Just call me when the car’s done, okay? I’ll drive Kennedy back over to pick it up. How long are you thinking, son?” Pops questions.

  “I can have it ready by the end of the day. I’ll be the one working on her, so I’ll call you with the damage when I know.”

  Anders’ mood seems to simmer.

  “No need in calling, son, just get her good and fixed. I finally have someone who loves her as much as I do, and I want her to be driven again.”

  “Alright sir, will do.”

  Pops turns to walk out the door.

  “I’ll be right there, Pops.”

  Nodding at me, he walks out to the car and gets inside.

  “Look, I wasn’t trying to be a bitch like you think. I’m sorry if it came out that way. My life is complicated right now, but I would like to go out with you. I don’t know a soul here other than my Grams and Pops. So what do you say, Ander?”

  Giving him my killer smile, I wait patiently for his response.

  “Alright, tomorrow’s Friday, and I get off early. My band’s playing tomorrow, but we can get there a little early and have dinner first. It’s a small bar, but the entertainment’s killer.” He laughs.