Mirage
Page 30
Darkness fell, and I wandered around by myself, depressed. There were high spirits among the men of our enclaves who gathered by their tents on the Temple grounds. They were showing off their costumes, dancing under the light of torches. Drinking. Even Greeland stopped his anger to have a good time. There was the usual tension among the warriors of the Off-Sex territories, but the Same-Sexers were happy, and Greeland was delighted with his son. He showed Albert off to everyone, and didn't notice that I had slipped out.
I found him by a dirty water hole, used for watering animals, at the furthest gates of the complex. He was big, lumbering, washing himself. I knew I'd gone there with the vaguest hope of seeing him. He wore only a ragged breechcloth. I was dressed in our most beautiful skins and ornaments. He looked around, nervous that someone was sneaking behind him. Like he'd been kicked in his back many times. Suddenly he smiled.
"I remember you," he said. "I remember your face. But they call you Enkidu, not the man I once knew."
"That was a long time ago," I said. "And even further away. You were once George Marshall."
"Yes." His face beamed. "Boy, do I miss good Scotch. They can beat the crap out of me, but I still want a glass of Chivas."
"I bet you do," I said, smiling. "I never understood why you liked the stuff so much."
"You have to be a hairy WASP to understand. I guess that doesn't mean anything to you."
"No." It didn't. I remembered vaguely that a wasp was a kind of insect, but then, I'd thought chicken was just something you ate. "You must miss many things," I said.
He looked down at his reflection in the water. "I miss my real self. I'm not the person that I am here. Do you know what I mean when I say that?" I told him I did. "Was that what it was like . . . for you to be Alan?"
I shook my head sadly. "Not quite," I said. "There were moments when I liked being him. When I even loved him."
He smiled and nodded his head. "Yes," he said. "Even I saw that. But I don't think Greeland ever felt the same way about Wright."
"Probably not," I said to him. "But the two of you deciphered those tablets, and your knowledge has made Greeland powerful."
His neck jerked around nervously. "No one must see you with me. If they do, they'll only beat me."
It was very dark. A momentary haze of clouds dimmed all the Ten Moons. In the distance we could see the fires and swirling torches of the full celebration. But no one was by the watering hole. I told him I would meet him at the next Moon, the beginning of our year, in the forest—and exactly how to get there. He smiled and took my young hand in his large, calloused one and kissed it. By the time I'd walked back to our tent, the clouds had uncovered the Moons. Later I learned that meeting me gave George the courage he needed to talk back. He told the Off-Sexers that if he had no days away, he would die. They would have no servant.
So every two changes of the Moons, he found me in the forest. It was a difficult trip for him, and we had to plan it well. Sometimes Woosh, who despised Greeland, would take a message to George. Sometimes I think that Greeland only pretended not to know that now I had a lover, as well as a mate.
The ecstasy of being with George, close again to Robert and Alan—as close as I will ever get to them on Ki—returns each time. I close my eyes. He kisses me with his warm, full lips and we have sex; and I give him as much of my seed as I can into his mouth without Greeland noticing.
When it is over, we sit together in the dark shadows of the forest as the great white Star passes above the tops of the trees. Enhursag holds me. I cry. I have cried this way so many times when we meet and make love, make love in the way I cannot with the mate to whom I have been promised. I know that I cannot give freely to Greeland what I will give to George: all of the tenderness and the life within me.
Perhaps the tears are of complete peace, the completion of a circle. Then I kiss George once more and we part, and I walk back to our enclave, remembering our time on Earth. Suddenly, just before the enclave of the Dark Men, I stop, and everything seems perfect. Calm. Like I have found the happiness, here, of my own being. Every leaf seems outlined in light. Every creature in the forest has told me its own story, and everything that has happened to me so far in any other world is like a mirage.
The end
Perry Brass
Originally from Savannah, Georgia, Perry Brass grew up, in the fifties and sixties, in equal parts Southern, Jewish, economically impoverished, and very much gay. To escape the South’s violent homophobia, he hitchhiked at seventeen from Savannah to San Francisco—an adventure, he recalls, that was “like Mark Twain with drag queens.” He’s published fifteen books and been a finalist five times in three categories (poetry; gay science fiction and fantasy; spirituality and religion) for national Lambda Literary Awards.
He has been involved in the gay movement since 1969, when he co-edited Come Out!, the world's first gay liberation newspaper. Later, in 1972, with two friends he started the Gay Men's Health Project Clinic, the first clinic for gay men on the East Coast, still surviving as New York’s Callen-Lorde Community Health Center. In 1984, his play Night Chills, one of the first plays to deal with the AIDS crisis, won a Jane Chambers International Gay Playwriting Award. Brass’s collaborations with composers include the words for the much-performed “All the Way Through Evening,” a five-song cycle set by the late Chris DeBlasio; “The Angel Voices of Men” set by Ricky Ian Gordon, commissioned by the Dick Cable Musical Trust for the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus, which has featured it on its new CD Gay Century Songbook; “Three Brass Songs,” with Grammy-nominated composer Fred Hersch; and “Waltzes for Men,” also commissioned by the DCMT for the NYC Gay Men’s Chorus and set by Craig Carnahan. His three-man performance piece with music, The Death of the Peonies, directed by Australian Peter McLean, was been done at numerous performance spaces in the Northeast. His newest musical collaboration is "The Human City," with Houston Opera composer Mary Carol Warwick.
Perry Brass is an accomplished reader and an internationally recognized voice on gender subjects, gay relationships, and the history and literature of the movement towards glbt equality. He lives in the Riverdale section of “da Bronx” with his partner of twenty one years, but can cross bridges to other parts of America without a passport.
Other Books by Perry Brass
Sex-charge
“. . . poetry at its highest voltage . . .” Marv. Shaw in Bay Area Reporter.
Sex-charge. 76 pages. $6.95. With male photos by Joe Ziolkowski. ISBN 0-9627123-0-2
Mirage
electrifying science fiction
A gay science fiction classic! An original “coming out” and coming-of-age saga, set in a distant place where gay sexuality and romance is a norm, but with a life-or-death price on it. On the tribal planet Ki, two men have been promised to each other for a lifetime. But a savage attack and a blood-chilling murder break this promise and force them to seek another world, where imbalance and lies form Reality. This is the planet known as Earth, a world they will use and escape. Finalist, 1991 Lambda Literary Award for Gay Men’s Science Fiction/Fantasy. This classic work of gay science fiction fantasy is now available in its new Tenth Anniversary Edition.
“Intelligent and intriguing.” Bob Satuloff in New York Native.
Mirage, Tenth Anniversary Edition. 230 pages. $12.95. ISBN 1-892149-02-8
Circles
the amazing sequel to Mirage
“The world Brass has created with Mirage and its sequel rivals, in complexity and wonder, such greats as C. S. Lewis and Ursula LeGuin.” Mandate Magazine, New York.
Circles. 224 pages. $11.95. ISBN 0-9627123-3-7
Out There
Stories of Private Desires. Horror. And the Afterlife.
“. . . we have come to associate [horror] with slick and trashy chiller-thrillers. Perry Brass is neither. He writes very well in an elegant and easy prose that carries the reader forward pleasurably. I found this selection to be excellent.” The Gay Review, Canada.
Out There. 196 pages. $10.95. ISBN 0-9627123-4-5
Albert
or The Book of Man
Third in the Mirage trilogy. In 2025 the White Christian Party has taken over America. Albert, son of Enkidu and Greeland, must find the male Earth mate who will claim his heart and allow him to return to leadership on Ki. “Brass gives us a book where lesser writers would have only a premise." Men's Style, New York.
“If you take away the plot, it has political underpinnings that are chillingly true. Brass has a genius for the future.” Science Fiction Galaxies, Columbus, OH. "Erotic suspense and action . . . a pleasurable read." Screaming Hyena Review, Melbourne, Australia.
Albert. 210 pages. $11.95. ISBN 0-9627123-5-3
Works
and Other ‘Smoky George’ Stories, Expanded Edition
“Classic Brass,” these stories—many set in the long-gone seventies, when, as the author says, “Gay men cruised more and networked less”—have recharged gay erotica. This Expanded Edition contains a selection of Brass’s steamy poems, as well as his essay “Maybe We Should Keep the ‘Porn’ in Pornography.”
Works. 184 pages. $9.95. ISBN 0-9627123-6-1
The Harvest
a “science/politico” novel
From today’s headlines predicting human cloning comes the emergence of “vaccos”—living “corporate cadavers”—raised to be sources of human organ and tissue transplants. One exceptional vacco will escape. His survival will depend upon Chris Turner, a sexual renegade who will love him and kill to keep him alive.
“One of the Ten Best Books of 1997,” Lavender Magazine, Minneapolis. “In George Nader’s Chrome, the hero dared to fall in love with a robot. In The Harvest—a vastly superior novel, Chris Turner falls in love with a vacco, Hart256043.” Jesse Monteagudo, The Weekly News, Miami, Florida.
Finalist, 1997 Lambda Literary Award, Gay and Lesbian Science Fiction.
The Harvest. 216 pages. $11.95. ISBN 0-9627123-7-X
The Lover of My Soul
A Search for Ecstasy and Wisdom
Brass’s first book of poetry since Sex-charge is worth the wait. Flagrantly erotic and just plain flagrant—with poems like “I Shoot the Sonovabitch Who Fires Me,” “Sucking Dick Instead of Kissing,” and the notorious “MTV Ab(solutely) Vac(uous) Awards, The Lover of My Soul again proves Brass’s feeling that poetry must tell, astonish, and delight.
“An amazingly powerful book of poetry and prose,” The Loving Brotherhood, Plainfield, NJ.
The Lover of My Soul. 100 pages, $8.95, ISBN 0-9627123-8-8
How to Survive Your Own Gay Life
An Adult Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships
The book for adult gay men. About sex and love, and coming out of repression; about surviving homophobic violence; about your place in a community, a relationship, and a culture. About the important psychic “gay work” and the gay tribe. About dealing with conflicts and crises, personal, professional, and financial. And, finally, about being more alive, happier, and stronger.
“Wise . . . a book that looks forward, not back.” Lambda Book Report. Finalist, 1999 Lambda Literary Award in Gay and Lesbian Religion and Spirituality.
How to Survive Your Own Gay Life. 224 pages, $11.95, ISBN 0-9627123-9-6
Angel Lust
An Erotic Novel of Time Travel
Tommy Angelo and Bert Knight are in a long-term relationship. Very long—close to a millennium. Tommy and Bert are angels, but very different. No wings; sexually free. Tommy was once Thomas Jebson, a teen serf in the violent England of William the Conqueror. One evening, alone, he met a handsome knight who promised to love him, for all time. Their story introduces us to gay forest men. To robber barons, castles, and deep woodlands. Also, to a modern sexual underground where “gay” and “straight” mean little. To Brooklyn factory men. Street machos. New York real estate sharks. And to the kind of lush erotic encounters for which Perry Brass is famous. Finalist, 2000 Lambda Literary Award, Gay and Lesbian Science Fiction.
“Brass’s ability to go from seedy gay bars in New York to 11th century castles is a testament to his skill as a writer.” Gay & Lesbian Review.
Angel Lust. 224 pages, $12.95, ISBN 1-892149-00-1
The Substance of God
A Spiritual Thriller
What would you do with the Substance of God, a self-regenerating material originating from Creation? The Substance can bring the dead back to life, but has a “mind” of its own. Dr. Leonard Miller, a gay bio-researcher secretly addicted to “kinky” sex, learned this after he was found mysteriously murdered in his laboratory while working alone on the Substance. Once brought back to life, Miller must find out who infiltrated his lab to kill him, how long will he have to live—and, exactly, where does life end and any Hereafter begin?
Miller’s story takes him from the underground sex scenes of New York to the all-male baths of Istanbul. It will deal with the longing for God in a techno-driven world; with the persistent attractions of religious fundamentalism; and with the fundamentals of “outsider” sexuality as both spiritual ritual and cosmic release. And Miller, the unbelieving scientist, will be driven himself to ask one more question: Is our often-censored urge toward sex and our great, undeniable urge toward a union with God . . . the same urge?
"Perry Brass has added to the annals of gay lit." Book Marks.
The Substance of God. 232 pages. $13.95. ISBN: 1-892149-04-4
Carnal Sacraments
A Historical Novel of the Future
In the last quarter of the 21st century, Jeffrey Cooper has made a Faustian pact with the global economic system running the world. No matter what age he is, the system will secretly keep him young and razor-sharp, as long as he can stay on top of his job and keep profits high. But Cooper has a problem: work stress and the congested, hyper-competitive life around him is killing him. Can he keep his stress level a secret from the system itself, his co-workers, and even his own seductive “dadyish” German therapist who has told him that when all else fails there are “angels” in the world who can save him, and often we don’t know who they are?
But one, in the most violent form, will appear in Jeffrey’s life. At first, he seems to be the Devil himself, offering every kind of excitement, even offering Jeffrey back his own lost soul—but will this younger, extremely mysterious and attractive man end up killing Jeffrey, or saving him? Carnal Sacraments is a parable of our time and the future, of the all-swallowing global economy, of an emerging international business culture based on war, and of the real keys to religious experience and personal salvation.
“Layered with philosophical elements, fascinating descriptions, and a clear focus on character overall, Brass' latest work is one of the most unusual novels I've read in years.” Bay Area Reporter, San Francisco.
“Exotic locations, high-powered wheeling and dealing and excursions into this new world’s dark underside . . . make this a book that captures the imagination and will not let it go until the last page.” Out in Jersey Magazine.
312 pages, $16.95, 2008, ISBN 978-1-892149-05-3
The Manly Art of Seduction
How to Meet, Talk To, And Become Intimate with Anyone
“Men are not supposed to be seductive.”
Perry Brass heard this while very young, so of course it gave him an open field in a kind of behavior that can be exciting, fulfilling, and satisfying. If you feel you’re always waiting for someone else to make the first move—if you’re traumatized by your fear of rejection and don’t have a clue how to open a conversation or expand the terms of a relationship, The Manly Art of Seduction is a must-have. Brass explains male territorialism, and how it keeps men locked inside themselves. He tells you exactly how to use an understanding of male territorialism to your own advantage, allowing other men to feel secure in the very insecure moments of meeting and negotiating closeness. He talks about making decisions yourself, and how these decisions can be used to make seduction possible—even easy. He deals with the monster of rejectio
n, and how to use mind pictures and exercises to rejection-proof your psyche. At the end of most chapters are questions you can use to tailor this book to your needs, seeing your own progress as you come to master this art.
“No matter what kind of connection you might be looking for, the advice offered here is helpful, sharp, and pulls no punches. But the tough love is served with style and humor.”
Dave Singleton, author of The Mandates: 25 Real Rules for Successful Gay Dating
225 pages, $16.95. 2009. ISBN 8-1-892149-06-0
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