Her tone told me she was angry enough to re-break my nose in one punch if she wanted to, but she didn’t need to resort to physical violence; her words could hurt more than any blow she could have thrown.
As she stared me down, I studied her face. She still had tiny scrapes from the car accident along her cheekbones. It made me wonder if that was the only part of her that had yet to heal.
I knew her well enough to know that she was a forgiving person, if only because she didn’t want to seem weak by hanging on to past emotions. But I had a feeling she wasn’t worried about appearing vulnerable right now. Her resentment was all the force she needed to confront me. Emotional weakness didn’t exist in this moment.
“Cait….” I paused as I tried to come up with an apology sincere enough to warrant her forgiveness.
“I won’t keep you,” she said, interrupting my thoughts. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. And to give you this.” She uncrossed her arms and gave me a small business card hidden in her hand.
It was a card I was already familiar with.
Along with news stations and reporters who had called my phone incessantly, I had also received a plethora of calls during the past three weeks from publishing companies who were interested in my story. The same company that had published Rachel’s book had been the most persistent—and it seemed they had also gotten to Cait.
“Are you writing a book?” I asked as I looked at the business card. Thoughts of Rachel flashed through mind. As much as I hated the idea of Rachel’s book, it wasn’t until now that I was actually glad she wrote it. Not because I wanted the public to know what those moments with Lathan were like, but because I wanted the public to know Rachel. I wanted her to be remembered for something. Even if that something was tainted with Lathan’s stench, at least the public got to know how brave she was for telling her story.
“No,” Cait assured me. “This isn’t my story to tell.” She smiled at me. “You need to get this demon out of you, Lena. Maybe sharing it with the world will help you do that.”
I met her advice with silence.
“Well, it was good to see you,” she said before she turned to walk away.
I didn’t know where Cait was going. I knew she was going back to Lyons, but I didn’t know what that meant for us. A meteor of regret collided against my chest and filled my heart as I watched her walk away.
If I didn’t stop her from leaving, I knew I would never see her again.
And I knew my time with her wasn’t over.
We had been through too much together to let it end this way. She had become a permanent fixture in my life, and I didn’t want her to fall through the cracks of my stupidity.
“Cait?” I called after her. She stopped and turned to face me. I took that as my cue to walk the ten feet between us to try to repair what I had so selfishly broken. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry for not telling you where we were going. I’m sorry for not calling you back. I’m sorry for almost getting you killed—”
“Almost getting me killed?” she repeated. “Lena, you didn’t almost get me killed. I almost got myself killed.”
I searched her eyes to see if that’s how she truly felt. Nothing in her stare convinced me she was lying. But how could she believe she was the one responsible for putting herself in danger? I was the one who withheld where we were going until it was too late.
“Before we were hit by the car, you said I was on a crusade to get myself killed,” I reminded her.
“I did.” She nodded. “And if that car hadn’t hit us, I would have added that I wasn’t going to let you do it alone.” Cait locked eyes with me. “Is that why you thought I was calling you? To yell at you for taking me to Lathan’s house?” She cocked a smile. “Nothing would have stopped me from going into that house with you.”
“You really don’t blame me?” I asked as a wave of insecurity receded.
“No,” she confirmed with a light laugh. “I understand why you went to that house alone the first time.”
She had asked me that question over lunch our first day on the case. She had been so enthralled by the way West Joseph residents treated me. She asked me why I had gone to the abandoned house without calling for backup, and I dismissed her question without giving her an answer. I was embarrassed to reveal the reason why I had gone alone. It was something I knew she wouldn’t understand.
“It was more than just the adrenaline rush of wanting to catch the fucker,” Cait continued. “It was wanting to be the one who actually caught him. I get it. This case became personal—more personal than it should have. I wasn’t just fighting for the victims… or for you… I was fighting for my reputation. Abram had one-upped us so many times, I wanted to prove to everyone that I could beat him—that I could own him—and that I could do it by myself.”
I looked at Cait as she confirmed all of my motives for going into that house alone the first time. She also confirmed why I was stupid enough to do it again with Abram. This case had become personal—just like Lathan’s case was. It criticized my investigative skills, it insulted my credibility, and it attacked my self-image. Detective Sergeant Lena Evans had become synonymous with the word “hero.” And as much as I tried to humbly brush that title off, I actually enjoyed having it.
Over the course of the investigation, Cait and I had endured the same experiences. We were better detectives—and better people—because of it. She was the only person in the world who understood what I went through, and she was the only person who knew what it felt like. Having that bond made me fall in love with her even more.
But the difference between Cait and I was that she wasn’t going to live the rest of her life as Abram’s victim. She was going to live it as his survivor. And that was something I needed to do too. I had spent so long living as Lathan’s victim I didn’t realize I had the option to live as his survivor.
“Thank you,” I said. She gave me more than the forgiveness I was seeking. She gave me permission to forgive myself. “All things considered, I really enjoyed working with you.”
“Is that all it was to you?” Cait smiled. “Work?” Her tone shifted to a flirtatious pitch.
“No….” I grinned and shook my head. My gaze caught hers, and we stared at each other in silence. Our smiles translated what our words couldn’t.
“I’m sure we’ll work together again,” Cait said with optimism.
“Maybe not.” I hesitated to end the romanticism in our conversation, but I wanted her to know. “I just resigned from West JPD. I’m not staying here.”
“Where will you go?” she asked with a sudden look of shock on her face.
“I don’t know.” I nervously smiled. Leaving West Joseph had never crossed my mind before. It was the only place I’d ever known.
“If you don’t know, then maybe you’ll consider BCI. We have an opening for a Special Agent,” Cait offered. A sudden surge of elation filled my heart. Here I was, talking to someone who had made it out of West Joseph. She was the example I needed to convince myself it was possible. What’s more, she had invited me to join her at the Bureau of Criminal Investigation. That invite meant I wasn’t just a temporary fling to her. Even if our relationship was over, our partnership wouldn’t be.
“What would that mean for us?” I boldly asked.
If I had the entire world in front of me, I wasn’t going to settle for somewhere and someone who didn’t want me. I didn’t want to leave West Joseph because I was running away from something. I wanted to leave because I was running toward something. My career choice pretty much guaranteed a job wherever I moved to, but it didn’t guarantee I would find someone to love. These past few weeks proved I was ready to be in love—and I was only ready because of Cait. She showed me a world I had long forgotten and reminded me of the grace I need in my life.
“It would mean a lot for us, Lena. Whether you move to Lyons or to London, I’m not going anywhere. Not this time.” Cait walked the few steps between us and took my hands in her
s. “I’ll see you Friday night,” she added as she took my hands in hers.
“What’s Friday?” I searched my mental calendar but came up with nothing.
A coy smile rolled across Cait’s lips. “You owe me dinner, remember?”
I mimicked her infectious smile as she confidently walked toward her car before I had an opportunity to decline.
The remnants of Lathan Collins and Abram Myers would travel with me, but they would no longer be the anchor that held me back. There was life worth living outside of this town, waiting for me to find it.
OTHER PROJECTS BY MICHELLE HANSON
Red Rue
Rue died more than 100 years ago, on the night of a rare Red Moon, and generations of evil Hunters have been chasing her ghost ever since. The Hunters need her spirit in order to unlock the gates of hell. So it's up to her human friends Katie, Hardy, Justine and Stella to find a way to save Rue, before all hell breaks loose. Literally. But the farther Rue's friends go to try to save her, the more Katie realizes she has feelings for Rue.
Red Rue is written and directed by Michelle Hanson, and is produced by Albertane Elm.
Season 1 is available for free on on Youtube at youtube.com/redrueseries
Season 2 will be available for free October 22, 2018
Final Girls
What happens when a lesbian couple are the two remaining survivors, but there can only be one final girl?
Final Girls is a short parody film on the final girl trope. It is inspired by the Friday the 13th films/game.
Final Girls is written and directed by Michelle Hanson, and is produced by Fearopoly Films.
It is available for free on Youtube at youtube.com/fearopolyfilms
Gül Girl
In the 1950s, the unmarried daughter of the town’s wealthiest man gave birth in the barn behind her house. Unbeknownst to her, her father had promised the baby to the church in exchange for the doctor’s silence. When the baby was born, the young woman was too weak to fight the men who stole her baby, and she died within a few hours. Legend has it that her spirit still searches the property for her missing baby.
Today, four road-tripping twenty-somethings find out why some ghost stories are nothing to joke about.
Gül Girl is written and directed by Michelle Hanson, and is produced by Fearopoly Films.
It will be available on Youtube at youtube.com/fearopolyfilms October 31
Veho
His Destination Is the End of Her Journey.
A driver for Veho, a ride-sharing company, unwittingly picks up an unknown serial killer. What begins as idle chitchat on an ordinary drive turns into a full-on psychological thrill ride with torturous twists and turns.
Veho is written and directed by Michelle Hanson and produced by Fearopoly Films. Veho will be released late Fall 2018 and will be available for free on youtube.com/fearopolyfilms
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
MICHELLE HANSON is a writer, director, producer, and photographer. She writes detective novels so her degree in Criminology can be put to good use. Michelle is an avid fan of the horror genre, and spends most of her free time volunteering at a local theatre. Her photography has been published in newspapers and online magazines/blogs.
Michelle is the creator, director and writer of the supernatural lesbian web series, Red Rue. She also wrote and directed Gül Girl, and the upcoming psychological thriller, Veho (Fearopoly Films).
Michelle is married, and has two dogs and three cats. She hopes to see her novels turn into a movie or television show one day (Netflix, are you listening?).
Follow Michelle on:
Instagram: MLRED219
Follow her projects on:
Twitter: Fearopoly
Instagram: Fearopoly
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