by Anna Burns
Not seeing mental wreckage then, seemed one of his downsides. As for the black eye, he did see that. ‘Why don’t we just leave it, brother-in-law?’ I said. ‘He’s been done in – honestly – by hundreds of thousands of people.’ I added there’d been a synchronicity to it, a sense of providence, a deftness, some cosmic comeuppance easily to be described as pure alchemical process. ‘So no further action needed,’ I said, trying my best to drive this point home. It was that I was tired of the eye, tired of McSomebody, tired of rules and the district’s regulations. As for principles, sometimes you have to say ‘stuff principles’, such as now when the energy for me was over on all that. ‘So you don’t need to,’ I said, adding that his purposing to go back, and to take me back, would mean delay in getting on to the next thing – our run being the next thing. ‘But thanks, brother-in-law,’ I said. ‘Don’t be thinking I’m not grateful because I am grateful.’ After a pause brother-in-law said he was going to beat him up all the same. ‘Not necessary,’ I said. ‘Still,’ he said. ‘Ach,’ I said. ‘Ach nothing,’ he said. ‘Ach sure,’ I said. ‘Ach sure what?’ he said. ‘Ach sure, if that’s how you feel.’ ‘Ach sure, of course that’s how I feel.’ ‘Ach, all right then.’ ‘Ach,’ he said. ‘Ach,’ I said. ‘Ach,’ he said. ‘Ach,’ I said. ‘Ach.’
So that was that settled. We fell back to stretching which was when the others, amused by our little passage until they were bored by our little passage, pushed us out of this stretching. Sister came out with a final ‘Oh, but you do lead an exciting life, middle sister,’ which I didn’t take offence at and even found funny, then all of them turned away and pressed themselves into third sister and third brother-in-law’s ridiculously tiny house. Soon after, and through their living-room window, came the sound of bags crinkling, of exclamations on purchases, of the urgent business of drinks, glasses, ashtrays and Elvis. Meanwhile, we two resumed our stretching then brother-in-law said, ‘Right? Are ye right?’ and I said, ‘Aye, come on, we’ll do it.’ As we jumped the tiny hedge because we couldn’t be bothered with the tiny gate to set off on our running, I inhaled the early evening light and realised this was softening, what others might term a little softening. Then, landing on the pavement in the direction of the parks & reservoirs, I exhaled this light and for a moment, just a moment, I almost nearly laughed.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thanks to:
Katy Nicholson; Clare Dimond; James Smith; Gerard Macdonald; Carlos Peña Martin; Julie Ruggins; Mia Topley-Ruggins; Belle Topley-Ruggins; Lisette Teasdale; Mike Teasdale; Katy Teasdale; Dan Teasdale; George Teasdale; Pat Thatcher; Sarah Evans; the Royal Literary Fund; Joe Burns; Catharine Birchwood; Maggie Butt; Jane Wilde; Judy Hindley; John Hindley; Brian Utton; Sally Utton; Liz Kay; Helen Colbeck; Virginia Crowe; Pat Vigneswaren; K. Vigneswaren; Ann Radley; Nigel Stephens; Tony Dawson; Russell Halil; Annie Drury; Mark Lambert; Archie; Selina Martin; Michaela Hurcombe; David Cox; Marianne Macdonald; Charles Walsh; Astrid Fuhrmeister; Vesna Main; Peter Main; Janine Gerhardt; my agent David Grossman; Louisa Joyner and the team at Faber; Ian Critchley, copyeditor of Milkman; Hazel Orme, copyeditor of Little Constructions; Maureen Ruprecht Fadem; James Gardner, Joan Wignall, Terry Howell, Christine Tutt and John Shaw (the Committee) at Lewes District Churches HOMELINK; Newhaven Food Bank; Nicky Gray (formerly of Sussex Community Development Association at Newhaven); Hampton Allotment Charity; the Society of Authors; the Housing and Council Tax Benefit system; the Department of Work and Pensions system; the First-Tier Tribunal Social Entitlement Chamber (of HM Courts and Tribunals Service), Brighton, consisting of Dr R.D.S. Watson and Judge A.J. Kelly, also the gentle, soothing usher whose name, sadly, I never knew; Elizabeth Finn Grants.
There have been many gifts and much assistance offered to me with thoughtfulness and kindness by friends and strangers over the years. I look forward to throwing one hell of a party one day to say thanks to them all, but not yet, as they would have to pay for it.
Final thoughts:
Thanks to me.
Thanks to White Eagle Lodge for having me on their healing list.
To Spirit: thank you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Anna Burns was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland. She is the author of two novels, No Bones and Little Constructions, and of the novella Mostly Hero. No Bones won the Winifred Holtby Memorial Prize and was shortlisted for the Orange Prize for Fiction. She lives in East Sussex, England.
ALSO BY THE AUTHOR
NO BONES
LITTLE CONSTRUCTIONS
MOSTLY HERO
COPYRIGHT
First published in the UK in 2018
by Faber & Faber Ltd
Bloomsbury House
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London WC1B 3DA
First published in the USA in 2018
This ebook edition first published in 2018
All rights reserved
© Anna Burns, 2018
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ISBN 978–0–571–33876–4