by Eden Rose
A feeling of dread comes over me as I hover over the button with my index finger. Fuck. Just press the button! Quickly, I hit it and the floor drops from underneath me. It was then that I realized that I am a week late on my period.
I have been in Las Vegas for a couple of months and before that… it’s been… another month since I have had my period. With all of the stress over the case I guess I forgot all about it. With all of the stress from Grant, I haven’t been focusing on anything that has to do with him.
Well, that’s probably not true. I have been forcing myself to not think of anything that has to do with him.
I place my hand over my stomach and press down. Holy shit. I haven’t had my period in months. I could be pregnant. There could be a baby in my belly and- it’s Grant’s!
Shit. This is bad. This is real bad. Fuck! This will cost me my case! The captain won’t allow me to be on the force if I’m pregnant. Then someone else will step in and take over. No! No! I can’t be pregnant.
I just can’t.
People like me don’t get pregnant. People like me watch their boyfriends knock up their old flings and then lie about it. That is what people like me have to deal with. People like me don’t actually get pregnant.
Hell. Look at Janice. She has been trying to get pregnant since she was like fifteen. Of course that is an over exaggeration, but she’s been trying forever!
Stop! Stop!
I have to stop freaking out and climb out of this bed and find out for sure.
Which is where Howard finds me twenty minutes later. Holding a box of tampons in my hands and wishing for Aunt Flo to come to town.
Howard being Howard, rushes to my aid and then follows behind me as I have a panic attack in the middle of the desert heat. I know that people are watching as the crazy woman runs out of her apartment in her pajamas and slippers. I also know that people are probably wondering what the hell happened to me.
Nothing to see, folks! Just the end of my life!
And my career! No big deal!
He stares at me as I look down at the ground and begin to think about what the hell I’m going to do if it is true. Jesus. What the hell am I supposed to do? I don’t want to be one of those girls that beg a man to be with them because they are pregnant. I also don’t want to be one of those girls who lives in denial over this. A baby is going to change my whole world. There is nothing else that I can say about it.
“Do you want me to go- uh, do you want me to-” He stutters out and I take pity on him.
I look at him as he tries to figure out the right thing to say to me. “Howard, do you want to come with me?”
This is all happening at the wrong time. I can’t have a baby. What the hell am I going to do with a baby? This is horrible timing. I thought that maybe Howard and I were getting closer or something. Damn it. Now this is derailing everything.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get you a test and see what’s going on.” He walks up to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. I tuck my head into his armpit and take a deep breath. He smells clean and a tad bit musky but all man. He is all man. And I love his smell. He’s just Howard.
Fifteen minutes later I have drank about three glasses of orange juice and I have three pregnancy tests lined up next to me as I’m sat on the toilet. Shit. I’m so nervous.
“It’s okay. Whatever they say- you’re going to be okay!” I tell myself over and over. “It’s just a test. You have dealt with bigger things than this in the past.”
I see the shadow of Howard’s feet underneath the door as I feel the sensation to pee. “I can’t pee with you outside the door!”
He let’s out an exhale and then shrugs audibly. “Shut up and pee on the damn stick!”
Howard- Then
God damn it. Why won’t she just pee on the stick and get this over with?
We have been in Russian camp together and I was thinking that she is finally starting to let Grant go. Maybe she can finally see me more as a man instead of a friend.
I doubt it, but it’s worth a try. Fucking Grant. I have had issues with him in the past and they look as if they are not going away. He’s constantly in my way when I’m trying to do things. Like get Chloe to look at me the right way.
Oh well. There is no rushing with her and I know I will just have to wait for her to see me as something more than a friend.
“I can hear you breathing!” She hollers out and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Damn it, sweetheart. Pee on the stick!”
I hear her grunt and then the tinkle sound of what she is in there and supposed to be doing. Almost as if whatever happens is going to change my life, I pace back and forth in the hallway to wait for the news.
Sure enough, if she is pregnant, they won’t allow her to continue on with this case because she would be a liability.
After I hear her flush the toilet and wash her hands, I rattle the door again. “Open up, sweetheart.”
About thirty seconds later, she opens the door with tears running down her face and she’s holding a stick. “Are you-?”
“Oh god!” She cries out as she looks down at the stick. “No, no, no, no! This can not be happening!”
Shit! “It’s positive?” I ask and watch as Chloe nods her head and then falls down to the ground. Everything is ruined now and there is no going back. I know that she will keep the baby and won’t want to get rid of it. Her captain is going to pull her from the case and many lives are going to be at risk because of this.
I fall to my knees and then slide on my butt and hold on to her as she cries. Her hair has started to curl up from her exhaustion and I brush it out of her face. “It’s going to be okay. You are going to figure this out and this won’t hold you back. Chloe, you can’t allow this to beat you.”
Chloe- Then
After a night of crying into Howard’s shirt, I have decided to stop blubbering about this and get back to work. Howard is laying on my bed and he looks sexy with his hair falling over his eye and his hand is tucked into the waistband of his pants.
His face is becoming darker with his five o’clock shadow growing in and the rise and fall of his chest tells me that he is still sleeping. I’m amazed that he looks so unkempt because he normally looks as if he is a model fresh off the runway.
Shit. I’m pregnant. Goddamn it. How the hell did this happen? Never in my life have I ever thought that I would be a mom. Hell, I don’t even know the first thing about it. What am I supposed to do?
I climb out of bed and then walk over to the window that is overlooking the area that I live in now. With despair, I hang my head on the already hot glass. That is something that I was not prepared for. How fucking hot it is here. It’s hot all of the time and it’s a dry heat. No matter how much water I drink, I feel like I’m still thirsty.
Before he speaks, I feel Howard as he walks up behind me and places his hands on the glass of the window. Without even touching me, he has me boxed in and I’m not even freaking out about the closeness of him. “Sweetheart, why aren’t you still sleeping? You have had a lot going on.” He whispers in my ear and I get shivers just from his proximity.
That is something that I made sure to look up. All of the side effects of being pregnant and one of them is arousal. That is the last thing that I need right now. It’s bad enough that Grant is wherever and I’m stuck in Las Vegas with sex traffickers.
But, there is Howard.
His hard body is snug against mine now. “Hey. It’s dinner time. What do you say you put on something cute and I take us someplace for dinner?”
“Like a date?” I ask with nerves. I just found out that I’m pregnant with another man’s baby, I couldn’t imagine him wanting to take me out.
With careful movements, he sets his hands on my stomach and squeezes. “Yeah. Like a date. I will be back in an hour.”
Before I can protest, he has left from behind me and is strolling out of my bedroom. I hear Steve barking as he leaves and closes the door gently. A date?
Holy shit!
I don’t psych myself out as I walk towards my bathroom and turn on the shower. Shit. I look horrible. My hair is crazy and my face is blotchy from crying all day. I didn’t even realize that it was around dinner time; that should tell you how out of it I was.
I take time in the shower to make sure that everything is shaved, washed and buffed before I climb out of it. Steve is laying down next to the shower all stretched out on the clothes that I discarded. “You bone head. This is not your bedroom,” I scold quietly and he looks at me as if I’m crazy. Which I am because I’m having a conversation with the dog.
With my towel wrapped around me and my hair wet while hanging down my shoulders, I walk to my small bedroom and into the closet to find something to wear. I’m nervous as hell but it feels good to be excited about it. Which I am. I’m really excited.
I pick out a loose fitting dress that hangs down to my thighs and pick out a pair of black high heels. Once I have the outfit laid out on my bed, I walk back to the bathroom to rub lotion onto my body. After that is done, I quickly and haphazardly slap some makeup on.
When I hear the knock on the door, I have shook out my hair and applied some volumizing spray into it to make it bigger. Good news is, I’m dressed and I feel pretty confident that I look pretty. Quickly, I stroll to the door and let him in.
However, my dress is tighter than normal.
My breath has caught.
Howard is standing at my door with a bouquet of wildflowers in his hands and he looks pretty hot dress up. In college, we really didn’t have anything to dress up for, so it’s new to see him like this. He’s wearing a black button down shirt with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to three quarters length. His hair is gelled and he has trimmed his facial hair.
“You look-”
We both begin and then start to laugh.
It was then. A big flutter of belly bats attacked me as I looked at Howard as what he is. He’s a man that will always be there for me and no matter what, he’s got my back.
Howard- Then
I jumped at the opportunity to take her out on a date.
When she opened the door, her hair was back to curly and her lips were puckered slightly. I could tell that she was looking at what I was wearing and examining me as much as I was her. She looks beautiful.
“Holy shit, sweetheart. You look amazing,” I whisper and hold out the flowers. “These are for you, beautiful.”
Chloe smiles and takes them out of my hands. I already got a vase for them because I know that she doesn’t have a vase here. “Thank you, so much. You look pretty amazing yourself.” I check out her ass as she walks to the kitchen to drop off the flowers. “Quit checking out my ass, Howard.”
I burst out laughing at what she says. “Yeah right.”
I won’t stop checking it out her ass because it’s gorgeous. I’m not sure why, but it looks a little less firm than how it usually did. I doubt that pregnancy would have affected her already, but if this is what I have to look forward to, then I am game.
“Steve, pin!” She demands and Steve runs off to his crate. I watch her walk over to the dog’s crate and lock him in and then she turns to walk back to me.
She walked back with a little sway of her hips and I patted my pocket to make sure that the keys were still there. I held my hand out and she grabbed it and I secured it with mine. I held it as if I wasn’t going to let it go and I didn’t want to.
With Grant out of the picture, maybe we had an actual chance.
“Where are we going?” Chloe asks as we walk out of her apartment.
“It’s a surprise, beautiful. Come on. We are going to be late and I’m hungry.”
I walk her to my car, it’s an older Corvette that has a convertible but it’s in great shape. It’s hard to find a nice car on a cop’s salary, but it’s a great car for what I could afford at the time. I get the desired effect of it when Chloe’s lip tug up into an “I’m Impressed” smile.
I help her into my car and then shut the door while walking over to my side of the car. Once I’m sat inside and start the engine, I reach over and grab her hand. I know that Chloe is not one for romance, but I’m hoping to change that tonight. Tonight, I’m going to show her what it’s like to be with a man that appreciates her and wants to be with her.
Chloe- Then
Who is this woman? Who is this woman that is staring back at me in the mirror of the most fancy restaurant I have even been to? Whomever she is, she’s smiling so hard her cheeks are about to shatter.
When we arrived, Howard climbed out of the hottest car I have ever seen and helped me out as well. When we walked through the doors of the restaurant, he held onto my hand and led me through to our table. He spoke clearly and concisely when he mentioned our reservations to the hostess and didn’t look twice at her when she was definitely trying to get his attention.
He pulled out my chair and swept my hair to the side. Lightly he kisses my neck and I shiver. I couldn’t help but smile bigger and my teeth bit into my bottom lip to help the moan that is threatening to escape.
Howard sat in front of me and placed his menu in front of him. When the server came, he ordered sparkling grape juice for the both of us and at first I was surprised that he didn’t order wine. And then I remembered. “What would you like as an appetizer, beautiful?”
I blushed through my whole body and then shivered again. I do that every time he penetrates me with those soulful eyes that see everything. “Howard, this is all beautiful… but… It doesn’t change the fact that I’m-”
“I know that you are pregnant with Grant’s baby. And I know that you probably don’t want to be with me like that, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to take tonight to treat you like the lady that you are. Not the bad ass who is going to be banging skulls together. But the beautiful woman that is in front of me. Can you do that for me?”
At this moment, I would probably do just about anything.
After we ordered, he slid his chair a little closer to me and squeezed my hand in his. “So, what have you been doing these past few years?” I ask and take a sip of my juice.
“Well, I’ve been working a lot. Luckily, I have managed to get transferred over here so I can my eye on you. You know, because you are a little trouble maker. But not too much. Mom and Dad’s divorce was finalized and they finally split up which is nice. We got tired of them fighting.”
I always forget that his parents weren’t divorced yet. They constantly fought and were getting at each other’s throats. I wished my own parents got a divorce because it’s obvious that they don’t even like each other. It’s weird when others have the balls to do something that others don’t.
I smile and squeeze his hand in mine and lace our fingers. “Uh, do you mind if I try something?” I ask and bite my lip shyly. What the hell is happening to me? I’m not a shy person by any means.
He nods and then has a cocky smile on his face almost as if he knows what I am planning.
Slowly, I inch closer and closer to him until our lips are hovering over each other and then I lean in all the way. Our lips brush gently together and I feel the tingles and the sensations from it all the way to my toes. “Holy shit,” I whisper.
“Holy shit, indeed. Come here again,” he commands gently. I follow his order and he snags my hand closer to his body and holds me there for a moment.
For that moment we are suspended in time and in that moment, I knew that everything was going to be okay.
The rest of our dinner went casually and without fault. He complimented me and was very attentive. It was nice to be on a date with a gentleman. At the end of dinner, we shared a piece of pie and he let me have most of it joking that I needed the sugar.
After he paid, he stood up and pulled out my chair. Once I was standing next to him, he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me closer. “Thank you for coming to dinner with me, beautiful.”
I smiled at him and then leaned in a
nd kissed him again. “Thank you.” Our lips molded together briefly and then he tugged me closer to him so our whole bodies were aligned.
Butterflies flew out of my stomach and belly bats took their places and were ripping my insides to shreds. In that moment I forgot that I was pregnant with Grant’s baby and I forgot everything else.
I let everything go so I could be with Howard tonight.
Howard- Then
A smile tugged on Chloe’s lips as I took her out of the restaurant and started to my car. I knew that as soon as I took her home, I would have to say goodnight to her and I wasn’t ready for that. “Do you want to go for a walk with me?” I asked as I held her closer.