by Maia Star
I kept my knees down and stared out the window instead, determined not to talk to him for the drive.
He deserved it. He hadn’t been anything like I had expected him to be after the kindness he had shown me. He hadn’t stood up for me, or warned me, or even acted like I existed when James talked to him.
It was awful, but I was realizing that I had been wrong to daydream about things, to think he was kind, or that it might work out between us.
If he wouldn’t stand up for me in small ways, then he wouldn’t do anything when it really mattered.
I made up my mind. I wasn’t going to think about Kyle anymore in that way. I wasn’t going to let myself fall for him, not now, not ever. It just wasn’t going to work when he couldn’t stand up for me in small instances.
Kyle respected my silence the whole drive home. He didn’t grab my arm when we stopped or lead me forcefully. He let me walk on my own, at my own pace.
We headed upstairs to his apartment, and then Kyle turned to me with an apologetic look on his face.
“I’m gonna make us dinner, okay? Will you let me know what you want to eat?”
I shook my head, still not wanting to talk to him.
“Catarina, talk to me. You need to eat something.”
I shook my head again and then turned to head back to my room. Hopefully, I would find the sanctuary in there that I desired, but I doubted it.
Before I could get very far, though, Kyle grabbed my arm and spun me around, crashing his lips to mine in a motion that took me by surprise.
At first, his kiss was forceful, but slowly, he eased up, his lips soft against mine. His hand that wasn’t grabbing my arm traveled to the small of my back, pulling me gently closer to him.
I couldn’t help it: I melted into him, into his arms, into his kiss. It was just so gentle, so sweet. His smells of pine and expensive cologne enveloped me, making me feel safer than I had in a while.
We could have been kissing for an hour, or maybe only a few minutes. I lost track of time as my lips were pressed against his, as his hand traced circles on my back.
Then, finally, he pulled away to look at me.
“Catarina, I know you’re mad at me. I would be too. But please at least let me make you something to eat. You need to have something more after that.”
As if on cue, my stomach growled. I looked down at it and sighed.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“All right, what do you want to eat?”
I shrugged. “Whatever is easiest, I guess.”
“All right, I’ll make some pasta then. Go ahead and grab one of your books and hang out on the couch until I am done, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
It was a simple command, and having it issued by Kyle somehow made me feel a bit safer. There was security in just doing what he told me to. Even if I didn’t fully trust him to keep me completely safe, I knew that he still cared at least a bit.
If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t be getting me food or kissing me without asking for anything else.
So I ran along to my room, grabbed my book, changed into another oversized t-shirt, and headed back out to the living room.
Kyle raised his eyebrows as he looked at me.
“Something more comfortable?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“We’ll have to get you some nice pajamas so you don’t have to keep wearing t-shirts. They’re cute, don’t get me wrong, but you could be even comfier.”
“That would be nice.”
Kyle already had pasta and pasta sauce on the stove, and it smelled absolutely incredible. I was definitely a lot hungrier than I had realized, and I was grateful to him for making something for the two of us to eat. He could just as well tell me that I had to fend for myself.
“All right, tomorrow then.”
Kyle looked down then as his phone buzzed. “Oh.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Well, Alpha James found a job for you. There's a couple in our clan with two children who need some help looking after them. You’ll start work with them tomorrow.”
I sighed. I had been hoping that this would come later, a lot later. I didn’t want to think about what it would be like working again, especially considering how my last job had treated me. I wished I could just work as a maid for Kyle or something like that.
Because, yes, I was good with children. But little dragon-shifters could be vicious, especially with the prejudice and cruel nature that their parents ingrained into them. It had taken me the longest time to actually get on the good side of the children I had watched with my old clan, and even then, they hadn’t treated me that well.
So to have to start all over again? I hated the thought entirely.
“What’s wrong?” Kyle asked, his face a picture of concern.
“It’s nothing,” I assured him.
“No, tell me, what is it? Do you not like the thought of working?”
“No, it’ll be good to have something to do. Children can just be...difficult.”
Kyle tilted his head to the side. “You’re an Omega, though. Aren’t you supposed to be good with them?”
That stung. I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. But it still stung.
“No, it’s not like that. I mean, yes, I am good with kids, but just because I am an Omega doesn’t mean that I am automatically brilliant at it. Besides, these are new kids that I’ve never worked with before in my life. In my experience, kids are just as cruel as their parents.”
“Oh, come on, it’ll be fine,” he tried to assure me.
“You know what, let’s not talk about it; you clearly don’t understand,” I said.
“Will you let me try to?”
“It’s exhausting to explain this to you when it feels like you’re not listening to me. You’re not being receptive at all to what I am saying. When I say I have a bad feeling about it, please understand that I really do mean that. I’m terrified.”
Kyle said. “Catarina, you know I want you to be happy. But unfortunately, this is something that you need to do. I can’t argue against Alpha James.”
“I know. I’m not asking you to argue against him. I’m just asking you to understand where I am coming from.”
“Okay. Okay. It’s going to be okay. If anything too bad happens, tell me about it, okay? I’ll see what I can do.”
I sighed and crossed my arms across my chest. See, he could say that, but that didn’t mean that he would actually be able to do anything. It was just the hierarchy of things. I was at the very bottom, and people didn’t care if I was treated as such.
“Pasta is ready,” Kyle said. “Come on, come sit over at the counter and I’ll serve you up a bowl.”
“Okay.” I set my book down and went over to sit down at the counter. Kyle dished me out a bowl of pasta and sauce before setting it in front of me. “Can we talk about something else?” I asked. I wanted to get my mind off of things as much as possible.
Everything that had happened with James was still swirling around in my head, and now I had to think about this new job as well. It was overwhelming, and I wanted my mind to be anywhere but there. Anywhere else.
“All right. Want to tell me about the book you’re reading?”
I nodded.
We ate dinner and talked for several hours about books that we liked, stories that entertained us. It was nice to feel like Kyle cared about what I was talking about, even if I had already made up my mind not to rely too much on him.
I knew that he was trying. Or at least, that he was trying some of the time.
But that didn’t erase the fact that he was a Beta and he could never understand where I was coming from or provide the safety that I really needed.
The next morning, we both got up early and had some pancakes and cut-up fruit. This time I helped Kyle in the kitchen with things, which was nice.
He kept finding excuses to touch me or brush against me, a hand guiding mine on the knife,
a butterfly flutter of a touch to my cheek to get off some flour.
It made my stomach churn, but I couldn’t quite tell what with. Maybe excitement? Or was it nausea?
We finished making breakfast and ate quickly. I was dressed in a pair of nice jeans and a tank top. I still hadn’t been told how old the kids were, but there was one thing I knew: I wasn’t wearing a skirt or dress around them. That was a recipe for disaster with little kids.
“Ready?” Kyle asked me, having grabbed his things. He was standing by the door with a smile on his face.
I hadn’t been told that I needed to bring anything, so there was nothing for me to grab.
“I think so. Let’s go,” I said, then followed him downstairs to the car. He started it as soon as I got into the passenger seat and strapped myself in.
“Glad to see you're not skulking this time,” he teased.
“Just wait till you come to pick me up,” I replied.
“Oh, I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”
“Well then you underestimate the terror that small children can present.”
Kyle shrugged. “Maybe I do. I guess we’ll see.”
We talked and joked for the rest of the drive. He dropped me off in front of a cramped little townhouse on a quieter street, waiting in the car as I walked up to the front door. There wasn’t any parking, so I could understand why he was having me go on my own, but I still wished that he was there to provide some semblance of support.
I knocked, and there was muffled screaming from inside. Then footsteps. Then the door swung open to reveal a woman a little older than me with a disdainful expression on her face.
“Oh,” she said. “You must be the new Omega. Come in, you’re late.”
I considered telling her that I didn’t have any control over when I arrived but thought better of it. She wasn’t Kyle. She definitely wouldn’t hesitate if I talked back to her.
She shut the door behind me and then escorted me briskly to the kitchen, where two children sat at a table, screaming at each other.
They looked to be about five and seven. They had the remains of breakfast in front of them, and they were fighting over a pastry. The seven-year-old had it in his grubby little paws and the five-year-old was screaming at him to give it to her.
“Children, this is the Omega. She’ll be helping out,” the woman said. “This is Mary and Samuel. Be good to them, or I’ll have your hide.” She gestured to the five-year-old and seven-year-old in turn.
I took a deep breath, hoping that it wouldn’t be too hard to win them over.
“Hi, Mary; hi, Joseph,” I said in my best amicable voice, crouching to their level. “My name is Catarina, but you can call me Rin.”
Joseph snickered. “Stupid Omega,” he said, and then threw the pastry at me.
That should have been my first indicator of how the rest of the day would go, but I kept on hoping that I could get through to the children.
But no matter how much I tried, they just screamed and spat and ran circles around me and called me names. It was an exhausting day, and I was so happy when it was time for me to be picked up by Kyle.
One thing was certain in my mind: I couldn’t go on much longer than this. I needed to escape, and soon.
Chapter Ten
Kyle
I wondered throughout the whole day if Catarina was okay, and how the family was treating her. I hoped that she was wrong and that everything was much better than what she expected it to be. But I had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t.
I wished that I could stop thinking about her. It made it difficult to concentrate on things, especially when I knew that she could never be mine. She was just so lovely, so kind, so beautiful. She was magnetic, and I wasn’t just saying that because her kisses tasted like heaven.
I was glad when the day was over and I could finally leave work and go to pick Catarina up from the house she was at.
When I arrived, I struggled to find parking for a solid ten minutes, walked another ten to get back to the little squished townhouse, and then knocked on the door.
I could already hear the sounds of turmoil from inside. I hoped that Catarina was faring okay, and it was just her playing with the kids.
“Coming!” came a voice from inside, and a few moments later, the door opened to reveal the mother of the two children Catarina was looking after.
She looked up and down for a moment before recognition alit in her eyes.
“Oh, Beta Kyle! You must be here to pick up the Omega.”
“Yes,” I said. “Will you let her know that I am here?”
She completely ignored that. “Won’t you come inside for a moment? I can have her prepare us a cup of tea.”
“No, it’s fine; the two of us should really be getting home—”
“Nonsense, come on. She needs the training anyway.” The woman grabbed my arm and led me inside with a sickly-sweet smile.
When we arrived in the kitchen, I saw that Catarina was already there with the woman’s two children.
She looked a mess.
Her hair was mussed and there were stains on her tank top. The smallest child was tugging on her, and the other one was screaming something in her ear about needing more candy. She was clearly exhausted, and I knew I had to get her out of there as soon as possible.
“Catarina,” I said with a smile.
“Don’t you mean Omega?” the little boy scrunched up his nose in disgust and pointed his finger at her. “Don’t you mean it? You shouldn’t call her that.”
It was worse than I thought.
“I’m a Beta,” I informed him. “I can call her anything I want to. And for now, I have decided to call her by her name. And you should too.”
“Oh, Beta Kyle, you’re so funny,” their mother said. “You know you’re not the one raising my children. I will tell them how to treat our Omega here.”
“You’ll watch your tongue, woman,” I spat. “I rank higher than you, and I say it’s important to treat Catarina with a degree of respect, especially when she’s watching over your little brats so you can sit back and just relax all day. Now come on, Catarina; we’re going home.”
I grabbed Catarina by the forearm and dragged her out of the house without waiting for a response.
I didn’t stop until we had reached the car and I was opening the door for her.
“Get in,” I snapped, then my voice softened. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you.”
I went around the other side and slid into the passenger seat.
“Then who are you mad at?” she asked.
“I’m mad at that woman for being entitled and not bothering to teach her children decent manners.”
“I’m used to it at this point.”
“That doesn’t make it okay, though, Catarina. I’m really sorry that you had to go through that, that I didn’t believe you at first. I promise I’m not planning on making that mistake again. You’re the one who knows your own experiences best, and I should have realized that from the very beginning.”
She looked down at her hands.
“God, what is it now? I admitted my mistake; can’t you accept that?”
“I don’t want your pity.”
“It’s not pity.”
“Yes, it is. It’s fucking pity, especially since you’re not going to do anything about it. Sure, you may think you have solved the problem by yelling at that woman and her children, but the moment you turn your back, the moment she is sure you are not looking, she is going to make me suffer for it. Empty words and threats mean nothing if there’s no action behind it. Can’t you understand that?”
“Then what would you have me do? Tell me, Catarina, what would you have me do?”
“I don’t know, maybe make it so I don’t have to go back there, work against the system, stop other people from treating me the way I’m being treated, don’t give in to Alpha James’s commands?”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“But why? Why can’t you do that
? Why can’t you do one decent thing?”
“Haven’t I already done decent things? Haven’t I taken you shopping? Haven’t I made you food and worked to make you feel comfortable? Didn’t I just stand up to that woman?”
“Tell me one thing, Kyle.” She spat out my name like a curse. “Did you really do any of that to help me? Or were you just thinking of your own conscience?”
“Why can’t it be both?”
“Why can’t it be both? Because I just want you to do something because you care about me and not because you’re trying to ease your conscience around the way I’m being treated. If you really cared about me, then you would do something to change it.”
“Catarina, you’re being unreasonable, and you know it. There’s no way for me to change things. I’m not the Alpha. I have minimal power. The moment I try to speak out against stuff, they’re going to silence me. There’s nothing that I can do to help you. It will just get us both hurt.”
“You’re a coward, you know that? That’s what you are, a fucking coward.”
“Language,” I said, keeping my voice level.
“No, you know what, no. I’m not gonna let you treat me like I’m a child or a good little Omega. All you’re doing is feeding your own ego by thinking that you can control me and that you’re helping me. Sure, you may be nice and all, but none of it is actually helping. You’re just a coward for not wanting to do anything about it.”
“Catarina, you know that’s not what it’s about. There’s a status quo, there's a typical way of behavior. I am doing my absolute best for you.”
She didn’t respond. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and faced away from me and towards the window.
“Catarina, please, just talk to me.”
She didn't say anything.
“I know you’re mad, but don’t do this. We can work something out, together, I promise.”
She shook her head and didn’t utter another word.
“We are talking about this when we get home,” I promised her. “And we’re figuring out a solution that works for the both of us.”