We all head back to the locker rooms and I change and shower.
“Good game,” Dec says. “Saw your girl in the stands.”
“She isn’t my girl,” I clarify.
“So do something about it,” he says. Fuck, even Dec has noticed how good we are together.
“Not happening,” I say, throwing on a sweatshirt.
“Why? I can tell you really like her, dude, and I heard you guys talking, I know. . .” he leans into me and says, “she’s pregnant.”
“Dec, you can’t tell anyone. She doesn’t want people knowing.”
“Relax, your secret is safe with me,” he says, palming his chest. “But honestly, Cole. On the ice you fight to win. If you want the girl, maybe you need to put up a stronger game.”
“You have a point, buddy. I’ve been thinking I need to do more.” I pat his chest.
We finish dressing and Rebel and Holland wait for me outside the locker room door.
“You came,” I say to both of them. My instinct is to hug Rebel and place a kiss on Holland’s lips and touch her belly to say hi to my little one. I shut that feeling down.
“Yes, we came to support you,” Holland says.
“Good game,” Rebel praises.
“Thanks.”
“You coming to the bar?” Dec asks from beside me.
I look over to Rebel and Holland. “Are you two up for a night in Boston?”
“I could definitely use a night out,” Holland says and Rebel agrees.
We head out. Rebel has her car which Holland drives and I walk out with them since I came here on the bus with the guys so I don’t have my car. We head to the bar and the guys order grub and drinks. Holland orders food but she obviously doesn’t drink.
I order a Coke and a burger. “You don’t have to do that,” Holland says.
“What?” I ask. We are sitting at a table with the entire team. Holland is sitting beside Rebel on one side and Dec is sitting beside me and across from them.
“Not drink,” she says. “Just because I can’t doesn’t mean you can’t.”
“I know. It’s my choice,” I state. I don’t want to say more with the guys around.
Twenty minutes later our food arrives. We fall into easy conversation. The guys ask Rebel how Wolfe is doing. He’s kind of become a legend with the team.
After we eat, some of the guys head to the dance floor.
“You up for dancing, Donovan?” I ask her.
“I’ve never danced country,” she admits.
“You should, it’s fun,” Rebel says.
“Do you want to dance with me, Rebel?” Dec asks. I’m surprised he isn’t opting to dance with a puck bunny.
“Sure, why the heck not,” Rebel says and they head out to the dance floor.
“So?” I extend my hand to Holland.
“Why the heck not,” she repeats Rebel, and she stands and gives me her hand. I lead the way to the dance floor and then place my hand respectfully at her hip. Luke Bryan chimes on the speakers. I’m not much of a country music fan but we’ve hit this bar in past years when we’ve played in Boston and it’s definitely a good time.
“Are you okay if I spin you?” I ask Holland.
She grins and nods. “This is fun.”
“I told you so,” I say playfully.
Her smile is bright. I haven’t seen her this carefree since the Cape. We dance and she swings those fine hips of hers and the evening is light and fun. When the song changes to a slow one, I cock a brow and silently ask, Are we doing this?
She nods and moves in closer, placing her hands on my shoulders. I lean in a little and take in the floral scent of her hair. It brushes across my face and it feels so soft.
Our bodies meld together and this feels so right. She has to be feeling it too. I pull my head back a little to look into her beautiful brown eyes and she looks right at me, and I swear I feel her breath hitch. My eyes drop to her lips and her eyes drop to mine, and somehow, we gravitate toward each other as if this is exactly what nature intended. We are about to lip-lock when she sucks in a breath and pulls away from me.
“We can’t do this,” she says.
“Why the hell not? I know you want to kiss me. This isn’t our first moment in this position,” I remind. I shouldn’t be pushing but I can tell she wants me. Why does she have to be so stubborn?
“I do want to kiss you,” she admits.
“So kiss me. Is this about commitment, because I can give you that.”
“You’ve changed so much, Cole. In such a short amount of time. Doesn’t that scare you? Don’t you want to be the guy who goes to bars and picks up a random chick and brings her home for one night? Because you can still do that. This baby doesn’t need to change who you are.”
“I’m a little insulted is what I am,” I say. “Yes, I get it. I was a big player. Went with lots of chicks. But did it ever dawn on you that maybe I was sick of that lifestyle? That maybe I want more? I wanted more before I even knew you were pregnant. Does that mean anything to you?” I feel my nerves rising and I don’t want to make Holland upset. It’s not good for the baby so I take a deep breath. “Why don’t you give us a chance, Donovan?”
“I can’t,” she says and her lower lip quivers.
I take her in my arms. “Please don’t be upset.” She presses her face into my chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to upset you. I get why this is so hard for you. And I get why you’re so scared.”
“You do?” She pulls her head back and her brows draw together as she watches me.
“I’m not Tobias and I’m not your dad. I’m not going to take off on you and the baby, and I am not going to ask you to give up on your dreams either,” I explain.
She gives me a hug and presses her head back to my chest for the briefest of seconds.
“I need to go home. I’m exhausted,” she says.
“Okay, sure. I can call an Uber.”
“No, it’s better I leave with Rebel. We both have had our lives upended and you don’t know what you want. I need to make sure I can provide this baby with a stable environment.”
“I may not know which career I want to choose but I know that no matter what, I want this baby. I want you,” I declare, knowing what my words are doing to her. They scare her but she needs to hear the truth.
“You don’t know that, Cole. We’ve never really been together. What if we don’t work and things end badly? Where will that leave our baby?” she asks.
She is so terrified I don’t want to push her any more.
“Fine, you win,” I blow out a breath. “But I can guarantee you that no matter what, I am not going anywhere. I will prove you wrong.”
Twenty-Nine
Holland
It’s Thanksgiving weekend and I drive Rebel’s car as we head to a bakery in town.
“This place is fancy,” Rebel says as I pull up to the front of the shop.
“I saw their ad on Insta. They make the most amazing cakes that are nut free. Cole comes here to get me cake when I’m craving it. Their Oreo cheesecake is to die for and they have this white chocolate mousse that’s. . .” I turn to see Rebel staring at me with amusement. “Hey! Don’t mock me, I’m hungry like literally all the time.”
“You’re adorable,” she says. “I’d never mock you.”
We head inside and I ask the owner, a lovely lady named Lisa, for my sex reveal cake.
“Wait what’s a sex reveal cake? Is it something dirty? Because I thought Granny Mae was going to be attending this dinner,” Rebel inquires, clearly intrigued.
“Granny Mae flew in two days ago. Cole gave her his room; she’s been staying with us. It’s been nice. She is such a good cook. You have to taste the cinnamon French toast she made this morning for breakfast. It was to die for,” I groan, just thinking of the warm bread with bursts of cinnamon topped with icing sugar.
“Stop deflecting and tell me what this sex cake is all about. Have you and Cole finally decided to give the relationship
thing a try and this is some kind of kinky prop?” she asks.
“Wow, since you and Wolfe have been together, all you talk about is dirty sex things,” I laugh.
“Can you blame me?”
“No, I guess not.” I frown. “I haven’t had you know since. . .well, I don’t even remember having the sex to get pregnant with the munchkin and it feels like forever. What’s worse is that I am horny all the time and having Cole there looking so good. Sometimes I just want to jump his bones.”
“So this sexy cake isn’t a prop then?” she asks.
“Not a prop,” I confirm.
“You know he wants you. He’s made his intentions perfectly clear. He’d be happy if you got frisky.” Rebel waggles her brows.
“Oh, I’m sure he would, but I’m a hormonal mess and he’s being all perfect because of the baby. This situation isn’t real. If we take things to the bedroom, it won’t be about us. It’ll be about the baby. People shouldn’t be together because of a child. They need to love each other, and well, this whole situation is backward,” I sigh.
“I wish I had better advice for you.” Rebel’s lips turn down. “From the outside looking in, I can see two people who really care about each other and are clearly very attracted to one another. But hey, what do I know?”
Lisa comes out with the cake and she is about to open the box when I stop her. “Uh, sorry. Cole and I want to reveal the sex tonight at dinner. Can I just take a small peek over there on the side?” I tilt my chin to the side of the store and Lisa walks the cake box over. She opens it on an angle that Rebel can’t see and when I see how perfect the cake looks my heart stutters. “This is perfect.”
“And I made it with that red velvet cake and filling you love.” She grins.
“Thank you so much. I could hug you,” I say, and Lisa comes around the counter and gives me a hug. I pay her for the cake and buy a few small pastries to go.
“So this cake somehow reveals if you’re having a girl or boy?” Rebel asks as she carries the box out of the store.
“Yes, exactly. No peeking,” I warn her.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she says like she is an angel. “So does Paris know what you’re having?”
I shake my head. “Nobody knows. I went for the ultrasound myself because Cole had practice and classes. I didn’t want him to miss out on the games so deep into the season,” I explain.
“So Cole doesn’t know either?” Rebel asks surprised.
“His motto is that he doesn’t care as long as we have a healthy baby.”
“He is so sweet. Am I right? Like who would have thought? Do you remember that first night we spoke to him at The Firken?” Rebel reminisces.
“I do remember. He was drunk off his ass and asked you about your prosthesis. I wanted to throat punch him,” I laugh.
“He was a dumb drunk jock, but I guess they grow up too,” Rebel says.
“Is it about growing up though?” I ask as she places the cake on the back seat.
“What do you mean?” She gets into the passenger seat of her car and she looks at me with her brows dipped together and a crease in her forehead.
“Was it Cole’s personality that he was just always wanting to have fun and party and be a douchebag, or is it about having fun in your youth and then maturing? I mean he’s only twenty-one. He still has a lot of partying years if he wants them. This baby has forced him to make more responsible decisions, but what happens when he realizes it’s too much and he cracks?”
“Yeah, Cole is young, but he’s been amazing and responsible. What makes you think he will crack?”
“The baby isn’t even here yet. I hear things can be demanding and intense with a newborn. Neither of us know how we will handle it. Cole may decide it’s too much,” I say, and I feel my lower lip quiver because I’m emotional. That boy has come to mean so much to me. We are always together when we aren’t in school, or he’s at practice and I’m volunteering at the hospital. We cook meals together and have long talks and he’s gotten under my skin and entered my heart, but deep down I know I need to be on guard. Things can change in the blink of an eye and we don’t know how we will react to the baby or what type of parents we will be.
“I guess time will tell, Holland. I get that the men in your life haven’t been the most reliable, but not everyone is going to be your dad. Trust me when I say that those words were even hard for me to digest after everything I’ve been through,” Rebel says, and if she can think positively after everything she’s been through then I should be able to also. But it’s just so hard for me.
“So how did you do it? How did you put your faith in Wolfe?” I ask earnestly.
“I gave him my heart or maybe he took it without permission, but he guards it sacredly. That doesn’t mean we don’t fight or have disagreements, because we do. It just means that we are both committed. It’s hard to have that kind of trust and I get why you feel the danger involved with putting your heart on the line, but sometimes we have to take a chance.” Her lips press together and she smiles sadly.
“I’m not there yet,” I admit, and tears I was holding back stream down my cheeks making my vision blurry.
“Oh, honey. It’s okay.” Rebel reaches across the seat to hug me. “Take your time. I really don’t think Cole is going anywhere.”
“Yeah,” I sigh, but who knows. Only time will tell.
Thirty
Cole
There’s a knock on the door and I go to get it. Granny Mae has been spending her days in the kitchen since she arrived. I begged her to relax but she is so excited about having a big Thanksgiving dinner that she’s gone all out.
I open the door to see Wolfe. “Since when do you knock?” I ask and then I hug my best friend. I haven’t seen him since summer.
“Since I don’t have a key to this place anymore,” Wolfe chuckles. “Can we come in?” Wolfe asks standing beside Cait, his sister. She had been injured in an accident when their father was driving. The accident had landed her in a wheelchair but she had recently gone for spinal surgery that was successful and here she is, standing upright and smiling.
“It’s so good to see you,” I say to her and really mean it. The time after the accident had been really hard on her and the family. She had been the one who didn’t walk away from the accident and as Wolfe’s best friend I tried to be there for her too.
“You can give me a hug, loser. I won’t break,” she snickers. Her mood has improved too and that makes me even happier since she had been quiet and depressed for a long while.
I lean in to give her a hug. “I’m so grateful that everything went well.”
“Thanks,” Cait says and I release her and realize that Wolfe has a puppy in his hands.
“Uh, that’s not Fluffy,” I say. Fluffy is Cait’s dog and I remember her being brown.
“No,” Cait agrees. “Wolfe is surprising Rebel with a pup of her own.”
“Are you sure she wants a pup?” I laugh. “That’s a lot of hard work.”
“Yeah, I’m sure jackass,” he says, punching me lightly in the shoulder. He sidesteps me and walks in.
Granny Mae leaves the kitchen and with open arms she greets Wolfe and Cait.
“And what is this little fella’s name?” she asks petting the pup’s head.
“It’s a girl and her name has yet to be determined,” Wolfe says and then he looks around. “Are the girls not back from the bakery yet?” he asks.
“No,” I say. “They should be here any minute.”
“Bakery?” Granny Mae says. “I’ve baked five pies.”
“Holland is getting a cake that will reveal the sex of our baby,” I explain.
“I thought you didn’t want to know,” Granny Mae responds, furrowing her brow.
“I don’t mind either way. Holland wanted to tell all our friends and family and I want her to be happy,” I say to my grandmother.
She pats my cheek. “You’re such a good boy. And I am so happy you’re making me a grea
t-grandmother. I’m not getting any younger, you know.” Granny Mae has been so good about the pregnancy. She is super excited, except she does throw in once in a while that she would prefer us to be married.
Wolfe cocks his brow and nods his head.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nothing, just our boy is growing up,” he says dramatically batting his lashes.
I punch him in the shoulder not so lightly and he winces.
Granny Mae heads back into the kitchen.
“So how’s the season going?” Wolfe asks.
“Same as when you asked me last week,” I chuckle. “Still sitting at number five overall. Saklan is in first.”
“That can change easily,” he reminds.
“I know.”
The girls come home. I eye the cake that Holland is holding. “No peeking before it’s time,” she warns. She walks into the kitchen and I hear her and Granny Mae talking about the cake.
Wolfe gives Rebel her new pup and she gushes over it. He places the little fur ball on the floor and Rebel sits down and plays with her. He tells her that she is a labradoodle and will be a big girl. Rebel’s in love as she scoops the pup up and she licks her face.
“What are you going to call her?” Wolfe asks.
“I don’t know. I can’t believe you got me a dog. This is the best present ever,” she squeals.
“I remember when you told me you wanted a dog when you were a little girl,” he says to Rebel. I eye Holland watching the interaction between Rebel and Wolfe. It’s sweet and loving and speaks of forever. Something she and I never considered before. I wonder if that’s changed for her. I know it has for me.
Holland catches me watching her and our eyes lock. Her dark orbs are filled with so much emotion it takes my breath away, but I see that she is hurting too. That she’s scared.
Ruthless Player: A College Hockey Romance (Westfall U Series) Page 18