by Kodi Heart
I blinked, turning south down Pines. “Wait. What? He cheated on their diet and she tore up his car? Did he leave her because of that?” Some priorities were mind-numbing. I’m not sure why I didn’t understand, but I didn’t. I mean, she had to have lost more than just the money with that move.
“No. She left him because they lost the diet.” Mom was surprisingly not shocked sounding over the information.
“Wow, then I guess her killing Debra is possible. I mean, it sounds like she’s a bit off her rocker. Why did Debra care if Don were there? You’d think she would be happy that someone else wants to lose weight. Isn’t that why we’re all there?” Actually, I was there because I was expected to be. It wasn’t the first time I wondered if I would do better on my weight loss goals without the pressures of the group and the drama of family issues. “Or better yet, why would Tanya be willing to kill to keep Don in the group or determined to keep him?” All of it was confusing.
I understood her passion, but I wasn’t sure I could fit it into a box in my mind for why she would be willing to kill to keep Don a member. I couldn’t remember the last time Don and Tanya even spoke, at least where I had seen them.
“Don keeps us so we aren’t exclusive. Tanya needs him to hit requirements for national membership. We’re right on the cusp as it is and Tanya is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure we keep our standing. She said that her position as president and a black woman meant that we had a little more leeway than the other groups. We need their support to use their building, their supplies, and their resources.” Mom fell silent for a moment and then murmured. “I wouldn’t put anything past Tanya. She’s cutthroat in a very scary way.”
I didn’t argue. She’d given me a lot of information to process. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that before walking into Tanya’s home.
7
We pulled up to Tanya’s house. We’d been there once six months or so back for an anti-holiday party. Some things fit people more than you know at the time. Even at a Grinch party, she still had green and red lights strung around her patio. Like today.
“Does she know it’s March?” I arched an eyebrow. Why did people do the year-round lights? What a headache. Plus, it made it hard for moms like me who had four and five-year-olds who believed Santa was coming when there were Christmas lights up. That was a heart break I hated delivering every time we drove by the nursing home on Fourth in Coeur d’Alene.
“I don’t think it’s a big deal. We still have ours up.” Mom unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. She turned, stepping one foot out of the car and looking back at me.
“What? Are you serious? Ugh.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and then reached over, grabbing Mom’s arm. “Hey, Mom? I’m nervous to talk to Tanya.” I wasn’t nervous. Truth was, I was terrified. If Tanya lost her mind and logic over a diet bet, what would she do, if she knew we had found out she’d killed Debra?
But… poison was a little different than a bat. I mean, I hoped Tanya wasn’t the killer. If she lost it, how fast would she slip?
Mom paused, leaning back inside the car and nodding. “Yeah, why are we doing this again?” I wasn’t the only one who was nervous and that made me feel better.
I didn’t want to say that I was worried about Nikki’s job, or that my best-friend in the whole world had asked me to help her look into it. I couldn’t tell Mom I felt bad Nikki’s mom had left and none of us knew where she was or that Nikki felt like an outcast from the family because of her mom’s choices.
How did I explain that to one of the people who had written Kiki off and therefore written off her children?
I didn’t say a word. Not right then. I shrugged, clearing my throat. “Can you imagine what Grandma would say, if we didn’t do what we agreed we would?” It was lame, but we all had dealt with Grandma’s disapproval. It was a strong enough motivator I didn’t have to explain my desire to help Nikki.
We knocked on the door, careful to ignore the plants and weeds hastily yanked from the flower beds beside the steps up to the patio. Their small corpses tossed in a haphazard manner along the edging increased the queasy feeling in my gut.
Some intelligible yelling echoed out to us through the white panel. In seconds, Tanya yanked open the door, her hair pulled up in caramel colored twists from her dark walnut skin. She was one of the most effusive people I’d ever met and she didn’t bother hiding her expressions.
A large gap between her front teeth added to her friendly but threatening presence. She looked us up and down and then checked the oddly dainty wrist watch on her arm. After a moment, she made sweeping motion toward the interior. “Girls, come in. I was just measuring out breakfast for tomorrow.” She waddled into the house, leaving the door open for us to follow her inside.
I glanced at Mom, taking a deep breath. If we went inside and Tanya was the killer, we were on her turf, and she could kill us where we stood. What if we didn’t make it out alive? I had kids to raise. My palms were suddenly damp.
Swallowing, we cautiously stepped over the threshold. I twisted my fingers together as Mom closed the door. We didn’t have to go far to sit by Tanya on a long L-shaped couch with brightly colored throws spread over the cushions.
There was only one reason to cover a couch cushion – because something was on them. Maybe she’d murdered someone else and there was blood on them. Or maybe I’d watched too many episodes of Forensic Files with Aaron.
Shrill yipping preceded the arrival of four chihuahuas who attacked my ankles with the ferocity of a pool of piranhas. I yelped, lifting my legs onto the couch beside me where I suddenly sat. Small dogs in the house? I’d found the reason to cover the cushions. It wasn’t enough to keep me off the couch with the vicious teeth of the little dogs nipping at my pants.
So, help me, I squealed as they continued jumping around me. “Mom, get them down!” A fine layer of sweat – sweat! Not perspiration – covered my forehead and between my shoulder blades. Little prickles of awareness covered me and I had the instantaneous sensation that I was going to throw up. These dogs hadn’t been there when we’d visited before.
“Shoo, off you go.” Tanya spoke to the dogs like she was crooning to a couple of babies. After the dogs disappeared in a rolling ball of crazy, Tanya looked at Mom and I. I slowly lowered my legs, desperate to take a normal breath and Mom reclined against the couch cushions. Tanya arched an eyebrow. “What can I do for you both?” She looked at me distastefully, probably because her dogs scared me.
Yeah, her dogs terrified me.
Mom glanced at me and patted my leg while speaking to Tanya. “You’ll have to excuse Bonnie. Her Aunt Kiki had a dog just like that a long time ago and he bit Bonnie hard enough to draw blood. She hasn’t gotten over it.”
“I was eight, okay? That dog sensed my weakness and he went for it.” Elliott. The rat’s name was Elliott and I still had nightmares, almost thirty years later. I was definitely a cat person. No doubt about it.
That confession took Tanya’s distaste down a couple notches. She pressed her lips together. “Yes, they can be vicious. I understand. I’ve been nipped by their needle-like teeth.”
Touching my feet to the carpeted floor, I gripped my fingers in my lap. “We noticed you weren’t there yesterday. We just wanted to make sure you were okay.” I didn’t look at Mom as I lied boldly to Tanya. I’d probably hear about it from Mom later. Lying was going to catch me. I had to be careful and stop doing it.
“I was fighting with my idiot husband. He wasn’t being very smart so I had to smack him around a little.” She laughed as if she were serious and also proud of the way she treated her husband. Did women actually think that was funny? Or was she joking, maybe? I wasn’t sure. Tanya was a hard one to read.
The room fell silent except for the ticking of a bright red clock on the wall above Tanya on the couch. I blinked rapidly and didn’t take my attention off Tanya. The woman was proud of slapping her husband. What else would she do without hesitation? She was going to kill us.
Most likely me first, because I didn’t like her dogs.
“Why would you slap him?” Mom leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. If you weren’t looking for it, you’d never know that she was obviously trying to barely touch the couch without looking like it. Mom hated anything dirty. She ironed Miguel’s underwear for crying out loud. She had cream-colored carpets and vacuumed up her kitchen tiles. She was definitely someone to attain to be.
“He gets out of line sometimes. If he was smart, he’d smack me back, but he’s just a little white boy,” She glanced at us and wiggled her fingers at us. “No offense.”
“None taken.” I stifled my laugh. I’d been called worse. A little white boy better respect his woman and not slap her. I bit my lip to keep my opinions to myself. I was raising give of those little boys and it was I could do not to say something.
“You could leave him, if you don’t like him.” Mom was always trying to fix things.
“I want to divorce him, but that will be divorce number four and I don’t feel like dealing with the paperwork.” She eyed us both and winked. Rocking back, she folded her hands and hooked them over her ample knee. “Okay, girls, tell me why you’re really here.”
Glancing at Mom, I tried to gauge how I was supposed to do this. Did I just blurt it out or did I ease into it? Was Mom the one to take charge, or did she expect me to? She returned my look and I nodded. Okay, I was supposed to start. Time to dive in.
I turned toward Tanya. “Debra is dead and you weren’t there. Grandma said you and Debra were fighting. She wanted us to come over here and make sure you had an alibi so you didn’t get in trouble.” I reworded the various comments that were made and smiled. I swallowed. Okay, that redefined blurting.
Tanya chuckled, wagging a finger at me. “No fear, Bonnie. I like that.” She considered me and then continued. “That little white girl wasn’t fearsome or even anything to worry about. She was on maintenance, so not a threat to anything.” Tanya snorted. “That wasn’t fighting, either. Definitely not a reason to skip a meeting of my group.” She shrugged, leaning back against the cushions and pressing her lips together before continuing. “I heard Debra died from Jessie.” Tanya clicked her tongue on the top of her teeth, making a clicking sound, and shaking her head. “I know she’s your family, but that girl is the biggest kiss –″
“-Yes, but we get to keep her. Um, what were you guys fighting about?” Mom had been trying to quit cussing for the longest time. She had no idea that it was also my vice and I wasn’t going to cuss around her or anyone else. We certainly didn’t want to hear anyone else cuss either.
Both of us tried to come up with alternate words to use in place of curse words that we wouldn’t normally say.
“We were fighting about Don.” She spoke and then stared out the large windows, distracted by something. After a moment, Tanya snapped her fingers and looked back at us. “Hey, how’s Jonathan doing? I like that cracker.” She laughed, the sound filled with delightful humor. Only Grandpa could make a woman laugh while using a racist name.
“Grandpa’s good, thanks. Did you and Debra fight about Don because of a jealousy thing?” I didn’t want to get into a racial slur teasing conversation. That was for Grandpa and Tanya. I wasn’t sure where the line was and I could see me calling her a name that was anything but kosher and she getting horribly offended.
“Jealous of Debra? Me?” Tanya pressed her hand to her voluptuous chest. A large portion of her near-three-hundred pounds was held up by the straps of a very hard-working bra. She laughed again as she shook her head. “Having a man in our group is essential to staying in the national charter. Don keeps us looking diverse enough to fit the rules without having to fill out all the paperwork or do any of the membership drives that other chapters have to do.” She slapped her hand on the couch. “Anyway, Debra knows – or knew – him or something. She kept yellin’ he’s a creep. They have some kind of a history. I’m not one to spread gossip, but judging by the way she was acting, it wasn’t a good history.” She leaned forward, shaking her head with a smirk. “I didn’t kill her. Part of me wishes I had, but that part of me also wants to lose weight.” She motioned to her impressive girth. “This is proof of how often that side wins. So, it’s safe to say, I’m not going to be killing anyone anytime soon. Plus, how am I gonna catch anyone?”
Her declaration didn’t make me feel any better considering Nikki said Debra was poisoned. Tanya didn’t need to chase anyone with poison in her arsenal.
As we studied Tanya for a moment, she snapped her finger and nodded. “You know what I can tell you? I heard Debra used to use drugs to lose weight. I don’t know what kind but that’s probably all I’m going to say about that.” She glanced from Mom to me and back again, expectations strong in her expression. “If that’s all…”
We didn’t have anything else to ask and the approaching yipping had me jumping from the couch to the front door. There was no way I was going to stay there for the piranhas with feet.
Tanya laughed as Mom made our excuses and thanked her for our time. I was already in the car.
8
The week passed in a blur of mommy-ness and missing-daddy. He was usually gone for long bursts of time which I could handle as long as we had all that land. I think we had close to twelve acres, but I rarely went to the back half.
Aaron and the older two boys liked to talk about a tree stand and logging and other things. I just liked to be present in my garden and with the chickens while pretending the wilds were just past the large chicken pen. That didn’t make me not outdoorsy, that made me sane. I saw my husband have to take down a porcupine past the garden because it was too close to the house.
A porcupine. Those things are walking shish kebabs without the shish part. I’d once seen a dog after a tangle with one of those things. No. Thank. You.
I dropped the kids by Grandpa Jonathan’s again. The entire drive down they talked about all of his stories they couldn’t wait to hear again. I just grinned the whole time. I, too, loved the tales of heroism and chivalry he divulged to anyone who would listen.
He liked when the kids visited, too. A huge part of me wished I could sit and listen to him rather than go to the Foodie Fools meeting.
I met Mom and Grandma and the rest of the craziness at the meeting building.
Embarrassed that my journal was a mess of erased entries and recalculated numbers, I gripped the small notebook in my fingers. I hadn’t lost weight, there was no way. Why did I continue to go to the meetings when I just felt like a failure every Saturday?
Whenever Aaron was gone, I ate to feel more secure. Can anyone say buh-bye cheesecake that I might have bought at Costco? I didn’t even share with the kids. I jutted my chin to the side in shame.
Pushing through the glass doors, I inspected the occupants of the room. Jessie was in the weigh-in cubicle. Again. It was like the universe hated me.
Inwardly, I groaned. Nope, not heading that way first. I needed to wait until there was more of a crush of people trying to get through faster so Jessie wouldn’t have time to gloat about my gain – because that was sure to be a gain after this week.
Who could I talk to while I waited? Grandma was deep in discussion with a present-Tanya who I really didn’t want to look too closely at. Nikki wasn’t there, but she’d texted me earlier that morning to say she wouldn’t be able to make it. She’d been called in for a double shift because her fellow tech was out on maternity leave.
Don skulked along the periphery of the group, not taking a chair and not really standing straight up. He kept his face angled down toward his book but watched everyone carefully. His dark hair was parted to one side with the shiny darkness of an unwashed scalp. He wore a black trench coat over bright yellow boardshorts and a lime green shirt with cherries and bananas splashed across it in a random pattern that turned out to not be random so much as a print.
His black Converse confused me. I’d always assumed if you wore Chucks, then you were a solid character
. Like, that just made sense. It was hard to believe Don was a good guy until I saw his foot wear. That led me to believe he might just be misunderstood.
Something I wouldn’t share with my mom. She believed – and probably rightly so – that I was a little to give-the-benefit-of-the-doubt sometimes. But Chucks… I mean, what else did I need to say?
I hedged my way toward a seat beside my mom. Skipping the weigh-in might be the only way I actually survived the meeting. No one needed to know.
Mom leaned over. “Did you see Angie is here? She looks like she hasn’t eaten in a month. She does know they have a group for eating disorders, doesn’t she?” She pursed her lips as she searched the crowd.
I sighed, certainly not one to say anything about someone else’s weight, no matter how annoying that cousin was. “Mom, what do you think this is? If she’s anorexic, then we could be the opposite end of that spectrum, right?” I hated being made fun of for my weight being so… mom-like. My youngest was four, that didn’t mean I still had baby-weight. And trust me, my in-laws had plenty to say about my weight. Ugh, another topic that spurned me toward eating.
Mom harrumphed beside me and turned to speak to Aunt Rikki. She didn’t understand, and why should she? She was on a maintenance plan herself. She fought the same five pounds week in and week out. It came off and then came back when she relaxed with it. There was no static with that situation.
I scowled, catching Don in my sights again. He stood by the door, his arms crossed at his waist. Yeah, there was something messed up about the way he stood there, watching everyone.
He acted suspicious and I didn’t know if that’s because he was guilty or if that was just how he acted. The chance that he was a murderer was high – probably higher than Tanya’s because she at least had an alibi. Don was one more that wasn’t accounted for over the weekend.