by Kitty Neale
Adrian listened as Dorothy went up the stairs and into his bedroom. He nervously gathered the milk mugs, took them through to the kitchen and rinsed them in the sink as though on auto-pilot, all the time silently flustered at the thought of making love to Dorothy. What if she didn’t want to? He would feel terrible if she spurned his attentions. Worse still, what if she did want to and his lack of skill and knowledge in the bedroom left her unhappy with him?
Adrian suddenly felt very inadequate and frantically tried to think of an excuse to delay going upstairs. However, his mind was a blank and as he approached the bottom step, he held on to the bannister. Pull yourself together, he told himself. You love Dorothy so go and show her just how much she means to you.
Adrian had been very generous with the money he’d given Dorothy to buy her wedding outfit and she had saved some of it to buy a pretty negligée to wear for tonight. She hung her skirt and jacket in the space Adrian had cleared in his wardrobe, and slipped into her silky nightdress, which was adorned with a pattern of exotic peacocks.
She looked around the room. When she had dropped her overnight bag in earlier, she hadn’t really taken much notice of anything as the wedding had been on her mind. Now she noted the long velvet curtains and the exquisitely embroidered bed cover. The beige carpet beneath her bare feet had a thick pile, and all the furniture looked to be made from good quality mahogany. She had never been in a room so luxurious.
Dorothy sat down on the stool in front of the dressing table and peered into the mirror, hardly recognising herself in such a sophisticated negligée with her hair professionally styled. It seemed a shame to spoil it, but she began to remove the hairpins, which let her long locks tumble down her back. This room, and in fact the whole house, screamed of everything her mother had never enjoyed and said she never wanted. Dorothy couldn’t help but wonder if she’d only said that because she could never have afforded luxuries such as the silver hairbrush on the dressing table or the crystal scent bottle that Adrian had thoughtfully provided. Dorothy picked it up and pulled out the glass stopper to sniff the perfume before dabbing a little behind each ear. She noticed the bottle had a label with words written in French but she couldn’t work out what the strange words said.
As she ran the brush through her hair, her thoughts went from her mother to Robbie. His old room was next door but she hadn’t seen inside it yet. She wondered if it would look as grown-up as Adrian’s room. She knew he had a record player in there and she remembered he had mentioned something about a poster he had on his wall of the British film star Diana Dors.
Dorothy was so confused when she thought about Robbie and felt sick to her stomach when she thought of the possibility of him returning. It would be such a dreadful situation and she feared what would happen. Adrian owned the house. He had paid off the mortgage that his parents originally had, but it was still Robbie’s home. She had to be honest with herself: though she was Adrian’s wife and would always be true to her husband, deep in her heart she still loved Robbie, and probably always would. It would be better for them all if he never came back to Battersea.
Chapter 20
After a pleasant summer and a mild autumn, late November was wet and cold as Nelly walked along the street holding up her umbrella. It was really nice of Adrian to allow her to have Wednesday afternoons off, and she enjoyed working for him.
Nelly shuddered when she thought of Mr Epstein, her former boss. It had grated on her when he had spoken so unkindly about Dorothy and made jibes at every opportunity, until one day, when he had made nasty remarks about Dottie’s marriage to Adrian, she had reached breaking point. She smiled as she recalled the stunned look on Epstein’s face when she had retaliated and given the weasel a piece of her mind. It had been a reckless thing to do as she’d been sacked, but thankfully, when Adrian heard about it, he came to her rescue and offered her a job in his office as his secretary.
It worked out well for them both. Once she had grasped the ropes it freed Adrian to spend more time with Dorothy, and it was a step up for Nelly. She found the environment a bit stifling at first but relished learning new administrative skills, along with enjoying some banter with the drivers. Especially Malcolm, a big bloke matching her own stature, who she hoped would soon pluck up the nerve to ask her out.
Nelly folded her umbrella but before she had a chance to knock on the front door Dorothy opened it with a welcoming smile.
‘Hello, Nelly. Come in out of that rain, the kettle’s already on.’
Nelly was glad to see her friend looking so cheerful. Married life obviously agreed with her. Well, married life with Adrian, that is. She doubted Dorothy would have looked so happy if she had ended up as Robbie’s wife.
‘Hello, sugar. Do you know what? No matter how many times I walk down this street, it never ceases to impress me. It’s a lot bloody nicer than the other side of Battersea, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the idea of you living in this grand house.’
‘Yes, I know what you mean. I’ve been living here for nearly six months now and it still doesn’t feel like home. I think my dad feels the same. I thought he’d settled in at first, but nowadays if I don’t lock the front door he wanders off. It makes me feel like I’m making him a prisoner, but what else can I do?’
Nelly could hear the sadness in her friend’s voice, but Dorothy had her back to her while making the tea, and when she turned round it was with a smile as she proffered a plate of chocolates. ‘Here you are, Nelly. Your favourites!’
‘Roses! Thanks, Dottie,’ she exclaimed, instantly distracted from her friend’s mood. She shoved one in her mouth and savoured the creamy milk chocolate, then remembered her concern for her friend. ‘I know you said this place doesn’t feel like home to you yet, but you’re happy enough with Adrian, ain’t you? Sorry, I mean aren’t you? Adrian is helping me to improve my diction, but I still slip up.’
‘I’m trying to improve mine too. I don’t want to show Adrian up when he introduces me to his business associates and their wives,’ Dottie said, and took a sip of her tea.
‘You still haven’t told me if you’re happy with him.’
There was a moment of hesitation before Dottie said, ‘Of course I am.’
‘I’m not so sure. Come on, Dottie, if something’s troubling you, you know you can tell me,’ Nelly said as she put another chocolate in her mouth.
‘It’s nothing really. Take no notice of me, I’m just being silly.’
Nelly knew her friend too well to be fobbed off. ‘Is it Adrian? He had better be treating you right or he’ll have me to deal with.’
‘No, Adrian’s good to me, there’s no problem there.’
‘So what’s troubling you then?’
‘It’s just that … I … I want a baby but nothing’s happened.’
Nelly’s brow rose in surprise. She wasn’t qualified to talk about bedroom matters, having no experience in such things, and stuttered, ‘What … what do you mean? Are you saying that you and Adrian … well … err, you’ve not consummated the marriage?’
‘Don’t be silly, Nel, of course we have’— Dorothy rolled her eyes —‘but I’m not pregnant. I really want a baby but my period came again yesterday. It’s getting me down, Nelly.’
Knowing only what she had gleaned from her sister and what she’d heard from local gossip, Nelly offered, ‘Oh, Dottie, it’s early days yet and it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. You’ve got to let nature take its course. Some women take years to fall, not that I’m suggesting it’ll take you that long. Look at my sister … she’s only got to wink at her old man and she ends up with another bun in the oven. Blimey, in June she was living at ours and vowing never to speak to her husband again. Now look at her, back with him and up the duff with her fourth.’
‘But that’s exactly what I mean, Nelly. How come she’s pregnant and I’m not? What if the miscarriage damaged me? What if I can never have children?’
Nelly saw her friend’s eyes begin to well up and f
rantically searched her brain for the right answer. ‘Oh, sugar, don’t cry. Lots of women have had miscarriages and gone on to have babies. You will too.’
‘Oh, I hope you’re right. Since I had that miscarriage last year, I’ve felt so empty and I just long to hold a baby in my arms.’
‘Don’t worry. You will,’ Nelly said assuredly, inwardly praying that she wasn’t giving Dorothy false hope.
The clock struck seven in Adrian’s office. He’d only stayed late to give his wife and her friend some time together. There wasn’t a lot to do and there was no need for him to work such long hours, not since he’d employed Nelly. She’d required a fair amount of training but was making good progress, and her typing was improving from using one finger to several. He’d inwardly cringed at first when she answered the telephone, but she was improving. It still needed a bit of work, but she’d get there, and he’d noticed that Dorothy was making an effort to improve her pronunciation too.
Unexpectedly, he enjoyed having Nelly working in the office. She was like a breath of fresh air and her jolly nature and silly jokes never failed to make him laugh. Now though, eager to get home to see Dorothy, Adrian locked the door and climbed into his car. His wife had appeared a bit miserable that morning, but, after spending the afternoon with Nelly, he hoped to find her cheerful. He felt they had a good marriage and hardly ever spoke a cross word, but worry niggled Adrian as he drove into their street. He didn’t like to see Dorothy unhappy, and wondered if it was because she felt trapped, unable to leave her father unless she found someone to sit with him. If that was the case, they would have to find a way to do something about it.
As he pulled up outside their home, he saw Dorothy on the doorstep ready to greet him. He parked against the kerb and took a moment to gaze at his beautiful wife, wondering how he’d became so fortunate. She was a delight to live with and cooked delicious meals, which only added to his flabby belly. Luckily his increasing size didn’t seem to bother Dorothy. She always cuddled into him at night, which invariably led to more and they would make love, though despite a healthy sex life they had never seen each other’s naked bodies. In his shyness Adrian insisted on turning off the bedside lamp and closing the heavy velvet curtains to block out any light. Dorothy’s bare flesh felt so soft and smooth to his touch and he was desperate to see her nude, yet he feared her rejection if she saw his podgy body.
‘Good evening, my gorgeous wife,’ Adrian said, pushing his thoughts aside as he kissed Dorothy’s cheek.
She smiled as she took his hat and coat. ‘Hello, husband. I hope you don’t mind, but when it stopped raining this afternoon Nelly persuaded me to go out. Mrs Hart kindly sat with my dad, but it means we’ve only got yesterday’s left-over cold pork and some mash for dinner. Is that OK?’
‘That sounds fine to me. Did you have a nice time?’ Adrian asked as he walked through to the lounge with Dorothy following him.
‘We decided to go to the cinema, but there wasn’t really anything on we fancied, only one of those Ealing comedies and they’re not my cup of tea. Talking of tea, would you like one?’
‘Yes, please,’ he said, and as he sat down to take off his shoes, Dorothy immediately put his slippers in front of him. ‘Thanks, but you don’t have to wait on me hand and foot.’
‘I know I don’t, but I’m your wife and it’s the least I can do. You’re out working hard all day so it’s my job to look after you and the house.’
‘There’s your father too, and looking after him must be hard on you.’
‘I don’t mind.’
‘Are you sure? I can tell you’re unhappy so if it isn’t because you’re tied to the house, what is it? Is it me? Is it something I’ve done?’
‘No … no, of course it isn’t.’
‘Then what’s wrong?’
She bit on her lower lip, and then looked at him, her eyes moist. ‘I … I want a baby, Adrian, and I hoped by now I’d be pregnant.’
Despite the fact that Dorothy looked close to tears, relief washed over him. So that was it – she was broody. He stood up and gathered her in his arms. ‘It hasn’t been long, darling. Give it some time and soon enough we’ll have our own little one running around the place. Until it happens we can enjoy trying, and we can have another go tonight if you like?’
He was glad to see Dorothy smile and was quite surprised at his own cheeky suggestion. Nelly’s humour must be rubbing off on him, he thought. Maybe he might even be bold enough to leave the light on later.
Dorothy was lying in bed on her back, staring at the ceiling. She could hear Adrian humming to himself in the bathroom but her thoughts were wrapped up in babies.
Her best friend and now her husband too had advised her to be patient and to let nature take its course. Maybe they were right, yet she still feared that the infection she’d had after the miscarriage had caused irreparable damage. After all, she’d fallen pregnant the first time with Robbie.
Adrian came out of the bathroom and stood at the bedside wearing his burgundy woollen dressing gown. She knew he would turn off the bedside light before removing it to climb in bed next to her. She was curious and thought it a bit odd that she was a married woman of five months and still had never seen a man’s private parts.
‘It’s a bit nippy tonight,’ Adrian said.
With the light now off, Dorothy felt his side of the bed dip, and then he lay down beside her. ‘I don’t mind. I’ve got these lovely thick blankets and my cuddly husband to keep me warm,’ she answered and rolled over towards him.
Adrian wrapped her in his arms and began nuzzling her neck. She closed her eyes in the darkness and wished that it wasn’t her time of the month. Making love with Adrian wasn’t unpleasant, but neither was it very exciting. It was her duty as his wife, but, more importantly, it might lead to pregnancy.
‘Adrian, we can’t. I’m sorry but it’s that time again.’
He immediately pulled away from her. ‘I’m sorry, Dottie. I didn’t realise.’
‘You can still cuddle me though,’ she whispered in his ear, and sighed as she relaxed in the safety of her husband’s embrace.
It wouldn’t be long before they could try again, Dorothy thought. She closed her eyes and as she began to drift off to sleep, she hoped with all her heart that the next time they made love, a seed would be planted and blossom into a beautiful baby.
Chapter 21
Robbie was hunched up against the cold wind on Friday as he walked along the front in Southsea. Money was tight and he hadn’t found an opportunity to make more. The woman he’d hooked up with to replace Gladys wasn’t as easy to sell to his usual punters. She lacked the charm of Gladys, and, as she was often intoxicated, her personal hygiene left a lot to be desired.
He left the beach and headed for the main road, past Canoe Lake. It had been packed in the summer with kids enjoying a ride on paddle boats shaped like swans. Now, though, the area looked bleak, the sky heavy and grey, and Robbie’s expression soured. The seaside was nice during the summer season, but it was dead now and he itched to move on.
A sudden honking made him jump and he halted and turned to see that his mate,Clifford, had pulled up alongside him on his Sunbeam motorcycle. He’d first met Clifford in a pub in Portsmouth, and though he thought the chap was a bit of a goody-goody they had clicked and become firm friends.
‘Hello, Rob. I didn’t expect to see you here,’ Clifford said, his red cheeks matching his peak-capped crash helmet.
‘I felt like a change of scenery and I’m just going for a lunchtime pint. Do you fancy joining me?’
‘Yeah, why not. I fancied a bit of a spin too, but I can only have a couple of pints. I’m supposed to be picking up the laundry for she who must be obeyed. Still, I know just the place for a drink so hop in.’
Robbie took the spare helmet from Clifford’s sidecar before climbing in, pushing his legs down into the bullet-shaped space. ‘Bloody hell, mate, it’s a bit of a tight squeeze.’
‘My wife loves it – s
top moaning, you big softie.’
Robbie wasn’t sure he felt the same as Clifford’s wife, and, as they sped along, the cold wind in his face made his eyes water. He pulled the goggles down to cover them, wishing the journey over.
Clifford drove to a pub a little way out of town and pulled up in the carpark. Robbie didn’t recognise it and got out of the sidecar before removing the goggles and helmet. ‘That was a cold ride and a bit bone-rattling,’ he said as he surveyed the area.
‘You loved it really. I saw the smile on your face,’ Clifford replied as they walked into the pub to order their drinks.
‘That wasn’t a smile. It was a grimace. So what are we doing here then, Cliff? It’s a bit off the beaten track.’
‘This is the pub I once told you about, the one near where I work. Anyhow, truth is, my brother-in-law will be in our usual place and I don’t want word getting back to my missus.’
‘She’s not stupid, Cliff, she’ll smell it on your breath, mate.’
‘I’m not worried about that. She won’t mind me having a quick drink, but she doesn’t like me hanging about with you. She reckons you’re a bad influence.’
Robbie stared at him. ‘Well, I’ve heard it all now. You really are under her bloody thumb. You’re the man of the house; sounds like you need to remind her of that.’
‘Maybe, but she knows how you make a living and she’s not too impressed by it. The silly cow thinks I might have a skinful and end up as one of your customers.’
‘You need to put her straight, Cliff. You and me both know you’re not like that.’
‘Yeah, I know, but I think since she’s had the baby she’s put on a few pounds, and she’s a bit … sensitive.’
‘Oh, well, what she don’t know won’t hurt. Come on, let’s get inside, I’m spitting feathers,’ said Robbie, unaffected by what Clifford had told him. He couldn’t care less what anyone thought about how he earned his money. As far as he was concerned, it was his business and Cliff’s wife, the nosy cow, should keep her beak out of it.