Chasing After Destiny

by Emma Easter

  “No, don’t go, Sofia,” Jude said. “We can all sit and talk. I want you with me.” He cupped her elbow. “Besides, I drove you here. I have to drive you back home.”

  She smiled at him. “It’s okay. I’ll find my way home. You both need to talk alone.” She began to walk away before he could say anything else. She turned briefly, waved at him, and turned around again. When she had left the courthouse, Jude faced Felix. “I think I saw a small restaurant somewhere near here. We can sit and talk there.”

  They reached the restaurant in less than three minutes and sat outside. Jude ordered iced tea, and Felix chuckled.

  “What?” Jude said, smiling curiously.

  “You’ve joined these Americans to drink their strange cold tea. That is not real tea. Whatever happened to our traditional tea and milk?”

  Jude laughed. “Hot tea and milk, in the afternoon, in this heat? Felix!”

  Felix shook his head and chuckled. “You had no problems drinking it in Bakali, Jude. And it’s as hot as Arizona! Now it’s a tall glass of iced-tea… whatever that is. Just stop it!”

  Jude laughed out loud.

  After his laughter died down, Felix said, “So you are engaged?”

  “Yes,” Jude answered. He hoped Felix would not ask him anything more about his engagement or Sofia. He did not want to talk about that right now. Besides, he wanted to find out exactly why Felix was here, alive and well, when most of the people they knew back home thought he was dead. Also, Jude wanted to know how he had come to live in the U.S. “So, tell me, Felix. How did the rumor that you had been killed start and spread so widely? And how did you get here?”

  Felix folded his hands on the table and gave Jude a sad smile. “The day my father, my brothers, and I disappeared from Bakali, we were taken by some men sent by the government.”

  Jude blinked. “Men sent by the government?”

  Felix stared at him. “Surely you have been following the news about everything happening in our country.”

  “Not really. I guess I block most of it out. All I know is that Bakali has been torn apart because of the greed and self-centeredness of a few power-hungry men.”

  “Yes, that will be the present government. Those same greedy and self-centered men kidnapped me, my father, and my brothers. You know my dad was a chieftain in the opposing party. When the violence started because people were crying out against the injustices of the present government, people began to disappear. People who were opposed to the government. My father, my brothers, and I were some of those people. We were taken to a tiny village that was virtually empty. We later found out that was where the ruling party was stockpiling their weapons.”

  Jude listened with his heart racing as Felix told him how the government had already gathered a sizeable militia who trained in that village when there was still relative peace in Bakali. Their countrymen had been lulled into a sense of false peace while the government had stockpiled weapons and gathered mercenaries in preparation for war.

  “We were held in a small hut and tortured every day,” Felix said.

  Jude could not even imagine how much they had suffered. “I’m really sorry,” he said.

  Felix chuckled, but the expression on his face was hard as stone.

  “And how did you manage to escape?” Jude asked.

  Felix narrowed his eyes, his face a mask of rage. For a long moment he said nothing. Finally, he spoke. “One of the men who was delegated to guard our hut turned out to be a mole; one of my father’s party supporters who had been recruited to infiltrate the ruling party. When he found an opportunity one day, he untied our hands and feet, let us out of the hut, and told us to run as fast as we could.” He sighed loudly and his expression turned incredibly sad. “Unfortunately, the other guys caught wind of our escape and pursued us. My father and I were able to escape to the road, but my brothers did not make it. They were shot. The most agonizing thing was that we had to leave them in order to escape with our lives.”

  Jude moaned. It was one of the most awful stories he had ever heard. He’d known both of Felix’s brothers. Even though he had believed them dead for some time now, hearing how they died pierced his heart. He took his friend’s hand and squeezed it. He didn’t know what else to say or do.

  “We found a good Samaritan on the road, who called one of my father’s friends. We were taken to the man’s house, and later secretly taken out of the country by my father’s party. We were taken to Rwanda, where we stayed for a long time, and then came to America about three months ago. What is going on in our country is shameful, Jude. And just horrible.”

  “I am sorry for everything that has happened to you,” Jude said.

  “And to you too, Jude. Most people have lost someone. Your dad was a great man. And he was the last person we thought would be targeted since he was just a pastor.”

  Overwhelming sadness threatened to suffocate Jude, and he could not take it anymore. He immediately changed the dreadful subject, but the next thing that came out of his mouth was almost as dreadful. “I’ve been an illegal immigrant in this country for a while and have been living under the fear of being removed from the United States. I cannot imagine being deported back to our war-torn country.”

  Felix blinked rapidly, surprise written on his face. “Is that why you’re marrying that white girl?”

  Jude hesitated, wondering how much he should reveal. He finally settled on the truth, at least a part of it. “Yes, I guess so.”

  “You guess so?”

  “Okay, at first, it was nothing more than a business arrangement — she helps me get a Green card, and I pay for her help. But I have come to like her very much. She’s a great girl.”

  Felix waved his hand as though what Jude had just said didn’t matter at all. “I saw Keziah, Jude.”

  Jude’s heart stopped, and he froze for a few seconds, unable to speak. Finally, he found his voice and said slowly, “You saw Keziah? Are you sure?”

  “What kind of question is that? I have known Keziah for years, and you know that. Of course I am sure it was her. I even spoke to her.”

  Jude’s pulse began to race. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “Where did you see her? When did you see her?”

  “I saw her about two weeks ago. A friend of mine who lives here in Tucson knows a few of the people in our country who moved to the United States. He was the one who connected me to Keziah. She told me she was divorced now.”

  Jude’s jaw dropped, and he said in a shaky voice, “She is not married anymore?”

  Felix nodded. “Yes. She and her ex-husband divorced about a year ago. She lives right here in Arizona, Jude. In Phoenix. She asked about you and she told me that she misses you terribly.”

  Jude could not breathe. Keziah lived right here in Arizona? And she wasn’t married anymore. Most of all, she missed him. He felt overcome with conflicting emotions. And then, even though he knew he shouldn’t ask since he was marrying another girl in a week, he asked, “Do you think she’d want to see me?”

  “I am sure she would, Jude.” Felix nodded. “I told her I did not know where you were, but that I would ask our mutual friend if he had any idea where we could find you. She had tears in her eyes as she spoke about you. She told me she regrets not marrying you. She said she still loves you very much.”

  Jude shut his eyes as pain rippled through him. Why oh why was he hearing all this today? This was the wrong time to hear about this — that Keziah was single again and that she still loved him and wanted to see him. He took a deep breath to try to calm his nerves. He could try to forget everything that Felix had just told him about Keziah, but it would probably be impossible. He had to see her. He needed to. “I want to see her too,” he said to Felix.

  Guilt ran through him as he thought about Sofia. What would happen if he went to see Keziah and they got back together?

  His heart began to pound. Surely Sofia would understand. He had told her he still had feelings for Keziah and would take her back
if he ever saw her again. Besides, this whole arrangement — the dates, the wedding, all of it was really fake and also wrong. He would pay her the money owed for the first installment, even though she had told him she did not want it. It would be for the best. She would not have to marry someone she had only known for a week, and he would be back together with the girl he’d loved since he was a teenager.

  But are you sure you are still in love with her?

  Felix put his hand on Jude’s arm. “I know it’s a lot to process, especially since she broke up your engagement and married someone else. But she is really lonely now. She had no children with her husband and she lives alone. I believed her when she said she still loves and misses you.”

  Jude felt as though someone was squeezing his heart tight. With all his heart he wanted to see Keziah, but he did not want to hurt Sofia. He’d grown to like Sofia a lot, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her in any way.

  “Jude, what are you going to do?” Felix asked. “If you want to see Keziah, I can drive you to her house tomorrow.”

  Jude shut his eyes and laid his hand on his forehead. He had dreamed of getting back together with Keziah for so long. It was partly why he had come to the United States in spite of how impossible that dream was. Now he had a chance to see her. He could not pass it up.

  And yet he had Sofia to think about. How would she feel when he told her he’d gone to see his ex? For that matter, how would she take it when he broke off their engagement, because that would most likely be what ended up happening after he saw his high school sweetheart again.

  The thought of breaking up with Sofia when she had only just come out of a breakup that had left her heart in tatters seemed unsavory and a little cruel to him. How would he do that to her? But did he have a choice? He could not pass up getting back together with Keziah now that he had the chance to.

  “Jude, do you want to see Keziah?” Felix asked again.

  Jude groaned. If he did not marry Sofia, he would not be able to stay in America… unless Keziah was a permanent resident here and wanted to marry him and file for a spousal visa for him. He felt awful even thinking about all of this. Maybe it was for the best to leave Sofia. He definitely would be using her for a Green card even though he was paying, but he’d been in love with Keziah for a long, long time. Their union would be true, even if she could get him a Green card.

  But are you still in love with her? the insistent voice in his mind asked again.

  “Jude?” Felix looked into its eyes. “You’re conflicted about all this, aren’t you?”

  “I’m supposed to marry Sofia so I’ll be able to stay in America. If I go and visit Keziah and we end up getting back together, I might not be able to stay here, and then I will have to go back to Bakali.”

  “I’m not asking you to do anything but visit Keziah. I didn’t say you shouldn’t marry your Sofia.”

  “But it might be impossible to let Keziah go once I see her again.”

  “Then don’t let her go,” Felix said. “You can also marry Keziah and stay in the United States instead of marrying a girl you don’t really know. I think Keziah has permanent residency here.”

  Once again, guilt ran through Jude as he thought about marrying Keziah rather than Sofia.

  “Jude, do you want to see Keziah?” Felix asked again.

  “Yes. Yes I do,” Jude said, finally making up his mind. “You can take me to her house tomorrow?”

  “Yes, Jude. I told you I would drive you there tomorrow. I will call Keziah and tell her that I’ll come visit her, but I won’t tell her you will be coming along with me. It will be a pleasant surprise for her. Unless you don’t want that.”

  “That’s okay,” Jude said. “I’ll surprise her.” Overwhelming excitement suddenly flooded him as he thought about seeing Keziah. How long had he dreamt of being with her again? His dream would finally come true. But once again, guilt and uncertainty invaded his heart, tempering his excitement. In the dreams he’d had of Keziah where they were reunited, they had fallen into each other’s arms and kissed passionately, vowing never to be separated again. But that would not be the case in reality because now there was another girl in the dream; a girl called Sofia who he was supposed to marry in a week’s time and who he was growing to like more and more every day. He knew for certain that she also liked him. He dreaded hurting her, but that was exactly what would happen. He would probably end up back together with Keziah when he saw her tomorrow, but he was certain that he would live with the guilt of hurting Sofia. He would never forget breaking up with one of the sweetest girls he’d ever met.

  He sighed as Felix began talking about Keziah, and for a minute, he only half-listened. Finally, he pressed the guilt in his heart away and allowed the excitement to take over.

  Chapter 13

  For the first few minutes of the car ride with Felix to Phoenix, Jude’s feelings alternated between guilt and excitement. He worried about how Sofia would feel when he told her a week before their wedding day that they would no longer be getting married, but at the same time the thought of seeing Keziah again filled him with heart-racing happiness. Finally, after they had driven for close to thirty minutes, his excitement completely took over.

  He and Felix chatted, catching up on everything that had happened in their lives since the last time they’d seen each other. Keziah remained in the forefront of his mind. He hadn’t seen her in years, and yet he could still picture her face clearly in his mind. It was etched in his memory, probably because he had stared at her picture for hours every day after they’d broken up. He had done so for months until he’d finally decided to give it up. He’d decided that the pain of seeing her picture every day did not exactly help him move on with his life.

  He and Felix eventually stopped chatting, and he looked out of the window. Memories of the years he’d spent with Keziah swept through his mind. He recalled clearly the day they’d first met in high school, their friendship that had grown to love, their long distance relationship in university, and the day he’d proposed to her; how happy he had been when she’d said yes. How carefully he had slipped the ring on her finger.

  The familiar pain tugged at his heart as he recalled the day she’d broken up with him. He had tried calling her countless times after, but she’d never answered his calls. It wasn’t long after that he’d heard she’d married someone else. Was he a fool to be so excited to see the woman who had caused him so much pain?

  But he had forgiven her for all the pain she’d caused years ago. It was impossible for him to hold a grudge against her. But that had not lessened the pain he’d felt every time he remembered how much he had loved her and that she was married to someone else. But she wasn’t married anymore. They had an opportunity to be together again. To start all over, to forget the painful past.

  His excitement rose again only to be followed by an uncomfortable feeling he could not quite decipher. He pressed away the strange feeling, and then imagined how Keziah would look when she saw him. Felix had already called to tell her he was coming to see her, but as they had planned yesterday, he had not told her Jude was coming with him. She would be so surprised.

  “Are you nervous, Jude?” Felix asked as they approached the road sign that read, Welcome to Phoenix.

  “Just a little,” he said and then smiled. “Actually, a lot. But it’s a good kind of nervousness.”

  “I’m so glad you are going to see each other again. I was so surprised when I heard you two had broken up.”

  “We didn’t break up, Felix. She broke up with me.”

  “I know,” Felix said. “But I think you have forgiven her now. You wouldn’t be coming with me to see her if you hadn’t.”

  “I have forgiven her, but I can still remember how much it hurt when she broke off our engagement. I never want to feel like that again.” Sofia’s face immediately appeared in his mind. He knew how much it hurt to have someone break off an engagement, and yet he was going to do the same thing to her. He pressed his
lips together and immediately suppressed the guilt he felt. It was hardly the same thing. Unlike his engagement to Keziah, which had been very real, his engagement to Sofia was just a business deal that could be ended at any time.

  “… both of you were so in love, Jude. Everyone believed you were the perfect couple. It was the strangest thing when the wedding was called off.”

  “I definitely loved her dearly, and I thought she felt the same way about me.”

  “I am sure she did. I was around you two a lot, remember. I could see the way she looked at you. I don’t know why she called off your wedding and ran off with someone else, but she regrets doing that now. When she said she wants to make things right, she looked really sincere. I hope you guys get back together.”

  Jude’s heart thudded as Felix talked. Most of their friends did not know that Keziah had always had a dream of going to America, which was why she’d left him when she found a way to bring that dream to life. He did not blame her for doing so. It was just that when she had, she’d taken a piece of his heart with her.

  Felix turned onto a street with identical bungalows lining each side and neatly manicured lawns. Jude’s heart beat wildly as Felix began to slow down. He parked in front of one of the bungalows, and Jude took a deep breath. The pavement gleamed under the burning sun. They got out of the car, and Jude exhaled again as he followed Felix to the front of the house.

  Felix rang the doorbell, and Jude tried to sort out the mix of emotions in his heart. Nervousness, guilt, and excitement battled for dominance. The door opened, and Keziah stood there looking as beautiful as he had ever seen her in a sleeveless purple shirt and black shorts. His pulse started to race as she smiled at Felix, her eyes fixed on him.

  “Felix! You are an hour early,” she said reaching out to hug him.

  “We left early,” he said.

  She turned with a smile to Jude, and then her eyes grew round. Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at him for a long moment, astonishment and disbelief clearly written on her face. She blinked rapidly and then exclaimed, “Jude! Is it really you?”