He lifted his eyes back to her. “He told me stay away from you. And that’s exactly what I did all week and it was the hardest thing I ever did.” He took a step closer, almost standing in her doorway. “It was the dumbest thing I ever did. Please forgive me, Theresa. I told you I wouldn’t be good at this relationship stuff. Give me another chance.”
Even in the cold, dark night, she could see the pain in his eyes. The truth. He meant what he said. She didn’t doubt that. But what she had a hard time understanding was how he couldn’t be good at the relationship stuff, as he put it. He excelled at it with Cynthia. Why did he find it so difficult with her?
Because he couldn’t possibly ever fall in love with her like he did with Cynthia. That could be the only explanation. And it wasn’t one she liked. It wasn’t one she wanted to compete with. Her heart would never survive.
“Theresa? Say something. Anything. Let me come inside and we can talk about this. About us.”
Us.
There would never be an us. She knew this from the beginning, but like an idiot, she thought it could turn out differently. She knew better now.
As lightly as possible, soaking up the way her hand touched his hard chest, she pushed him back outside onto the porch stoop. “There is no us. I don’t think this is going to work. If we’re both being honest, I don’t think it was ever going to work. We’re two different people from two different worlds.” She moved back, gripping the door hard. “Thank you for telling me about my brother. I appreciate that. Have a good night, Officer Crowl.”
With that, she shut the door before he could say another word.
And yes, she addressed him by his formal title. As she would from now on. She needed to maintain a distance with him, and she couldn’t do that if she continued to call him Aiden.
She quickly locked the door and ran to her room, almost as if he were inside and chasing her. Flinging herself across the bed, she buried her head into the soft contours of the bedspread.
Did she do the right thing? Should’ve she let him in and talk? What could’ve he possibly said to make things better?
Nothing.
Nothing could make things better between them.
They were doomed to work from the very beginning. She did the right thing.
So why did it feel so wrong?
❄
Aiden stood off to the side, trying not to think about Theresa and listen to the instructions given by Donna, the event organizer for the annual Christmas party for Mulberry.
Bentley stood next to him, munching on a cookie provided by Lynn. He did love her delicious treats she baked all the time, but he wasn’t in the mood. Shit. He wasn’t in the mood for anything, especially decorating for this party.
Not after Theresa effectively cut him out of her life. She didn’t even want to hear his explanation, or more of an apology. He didn’t blame her. Not really. He acted like a jackass and he didn’t deserve another chance. It still hurt. The loss of her.
“You should try a grin.”
He jabbed Bentley in the side. “Shut up.”
“You’re bringing the mood down.”
Glancing around the room at everyone present to help decorate, he saw Marybeth, Gregory, Chief Duncan’s dad, as well his girlfriend Gabby, a few of the council members, and Daphne.
“Why are you here again?” He snickered under his breath. “Oh, yeah, to catch a glimpse of Daphne.”
“Are you trying to get me to match your sullen mood?”
“If you don’t shut up and leave me alone, yeah.”
“Point taken.”
Thankfully, Bentley shut up and they both listened with half an ear on how Donna wanted everything placed. Seemed simple enough. Hang the lights and make them look pretty. Set up tables and chairs. Hang shit on the wall. The basic decorations for any holiday party.
The Christmas tree, which was most likely the hardest thing to situate, already stood tall and proud in the middle of the ballroom. Bright white lights twinkled around it as white glittery balls hung here and there. He had to admit it looked beautiful. Of course, it didn’t look as beautiful as the tree him and Theresa decorated, but he figured most people would ooh and aah over it.
“You coming to the party tomorrow?”
“No.”
Bentley laughed. “How long are you going to sulk over Theresa?”
“How long have you been sulking over Daphne?”
A low groan left his mouth. “It is so difficult to make you see anything when you keep throwing that shit in my face.”
He turned to Bentley and grinned. It felt sort of good to grin when his entire life felt like shit. “Then quit trying to make me see anything. Because it can all apply to you, too, buddy.”
“I know. That’s why I hate it when you do that.” Bentley smirked. “At least you have a small chance.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I have zero chances.”
“You sure about that?” Bentley nudged his shoulder with his own. “Because a gorgeous woman just walked into the room.”
Aiden followed Bentley’s line of sight to the entrance of the ballroom and nearly dropped to his knees. Standing, somewhat awkwardly and perhaps even nervous, was Theresa. What was she nervous about? She was utterly perfect in every way.
“Why are you still standing by me? Go walk up to her.”
With a slight push on the back from Bentley, he made his way over to Theresa, Donna’s voice effectively drowned out completely. He didn’t understand the need for such long instructions anyway. Just hang the decorations and be done. Pretty simple.
His eyes locked with Theresa’s. Could she feel the same magical pull as him? Is that why her eyes didn’t move from his?
“I didn’t think I’d see you here.”
Wringing her hands together, she glanced down, then back up. “Bonzo said I could leave a little early. I said I’d help. I should’ve never said I couldn’t make it. I’m not someone who backs out of a responsibility just because…” Her eyes glanced down again. “Where do we start?”
He knew she was talking about putting up Christmas stuff, but he wanted to answer that so differently. He wanted to start over. Wipe the slate clean. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her.
“Donna hasn’t gotten to that part yet. She’s been talking about how to hang things for the past fifteen minutes. I almost took a nap.”
The corner of her lips tilted up. Score one for him. He almost made her smile. And damn, he loved it when she smiled.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
Just like that, her near smile turned into a frown. “I’m not here for you. I’m here because I told Marybeth I’d help.” Her brows puckered. “She never did give you any instructions, did she?”
He tried to grin just a little, hoping to pull another smile out of her. “I don’t think she ever had any. It was just a ploy to—” His pathetic grin evaporated as her face turned even more melancholy. He took a step closer. “Can we start over? I would love that. I know I don’t deserve another chance after the way I acted, but…please, Theresa. Just one more chance.”
Her mouth opened, yet nothing came out. He wanted so badly to urge her on. To make her say the words he wanted to hear.
“I don—”
“Let’s do this!” Donna clapped loudly, a wide smile on her face, effectively cutting off Theresa’s response.
He couldn’t even be mad at her for finally finishing her long speech of instructions and interrupting Theresa because he didn’t think what Theresa was about to say would’ve been in his favor.
Within seconds, she disappeared and went to help Gabby, who started to hang lights around the doorframe that led to a separate hallway with more rooms and the bathrooms.
He knew another chance to win her back was officially over. He joined Bentley and started to unfold table and chairs and set them up around the room. They made a wide arc around the room, setting up the tables that would be used for food and drinks. The chairs were situa
ted against the walls for people to sit if they needed a moment of rest. The remaining area would be kept clear for people to mingle and to dance if the need came over them.
He couldn’t recall anyone ever actually dancing at one of these parties, because Christmas music was played in the background, but he almost wished for a moment Theresa would go with him and dance with him. He wanted her back in his arms.
But what was he thinking? She didn’t even want to come to this party. Hell, he didn’t either. He only went every year for Cynthia. Because she insisted they go.
A few hours later, after unfolding so many tables and chairs, hanging lights all around the room, he was tired. He wanted to go home and just be alone. Maybe wallow in some self-pity. Think of a great way to win Theresa’s heart back. He wasn’t ready to give up. He finally knew what he wanted in life. What made him truly happy. He wasn’t ready to just give up because she was throwing off the I-hate-you vibes. He almost didn’t make it as a pro football player because he gave up so easily. If he never would’ve hurt his knee as badly as he did, he’d probably be rich and famous and playing ball like he used to love doing.
He didn’t want money or fame. It was the love for the game he missed.
His hands dropped after hanging what he hoped to be the last decoration and sighed. Well, hell. That’s why Cynthia had always been on his case to work for her father. That’s why she changed from a sweet girl to a hellion. Because he missed his chances of going pro. Missed his chance at fame and fortune. Cynthia never understood him and the dreams he wanted.
She always liked being in the limelight, the attention focused solely on her. Being with a pro football player would’ve upped her status. Then in a blink of an eye, he was a cop. Nothing fancy about that.
He made the right decision. Even though she died tragically, and he still felt responsible for that, he made the best decision he could’ve. They weren’t meant for each other. She used him. He didn’t want to be with a woman who acted that way. He wanted someone who would love him for the man he was, not the man they wanted him to be. To appreciate what was inside him, not what he could offer on the outside.
Theresa was that woman.
“Shit.” How would he make it right between them?
A light tap to his shoulder startled him, making him twist around quickly. The movement almost had Theresa falling over as his arm swung and hit her in the stomach. He immediately grabbed her around the waist and pulled her gently into his arms.
“I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?”
Her mouth hung open, her eyes wide with shock.
“Theresa?”
“No. No. I’m fine. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She calmly pushed against his chest and he let his arms drop at once. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, even though it felt wonderful to have her in his arms again.
“I was thinking…” Yeah, he didn’t know if he should tell her he was thinking about her. Honestly, he had no idea what to say to her. “Thanks for coming tonight.”
She nodded and wrapped her arms around her stomach, as if trying to ward him off. “I just wanted to say…I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us. It’s a small town and…I don’t want it to be awkward.” She let out a tiny breath. “Can we still be friends?”
Oh, man. She was breaking his heart. Friends? He didn’t want to be just friends with her. But he screwed up. Instead of pulling her closer after the most amazing night ever, he pushed her away. Maybe to work his way back into her good graces would be to take what she offered now. Friends only.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
She sounded way too surprised at his response. Should’ve he argued? Should’ve he demanded he wanted more? Is that what she wanted him to do? Is that what he should do? God, he was so lost.
He blew out a heavy breath as his eyes twisted upward in frustration. Trying to win back the heart of the woman he loved was more than just difficult, it was tragically impossible. He lowered his gaze back to her, confusion, hurt, anger, even desire, all shimmered within her depths. She was just as lost as him.
Without taking time to think of how she’d respond, he grabbed her arm and pulled her gently to him, pressing his lips to hers. His arms slid around her, molding her to his body as he urged her mouth to open. She didn’t resist, brushing her tongue with his.
The kiss felt perfect, and like he finally found his true home.
But she wanted only friends. He had to work with what he had at the moment, and shoving his hunger for her in her face and in a public place wasn’t the right thing to do. He knew that.
Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and let his hands fall away from her.
“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.
He pointed above them to the mistletoe he had hung right before she tapped him on the shoulder. “Mistletoe. You have to kiss when you’re under one. Even if we’re only friends.”
She glanced up, then dropped her gaze to his. “Oh. Well, I guess I’ll be going.”
“It’s late. Let me give you a ride home. I don’t want you walking by yourself in the dark.” In fact, the thought frightened him. Not that Mulberry was a dangerous town, but still. A woman, a beautiful woman, walking home in the dark by herself had trouble written all over it.
“It’s nice of you to offer, but Gregory and Gabby already said they’d drop me off. Goodbye, Off—”
“It’s Aiden.” His jaw clenched tightly to stop himself from saying something he’d regret. “You want to be friends, then you call me Aiden.”
She nodded once, then walked away.
As he stood under the mistletoe that put the woman who captured his heart back in his arms, he wondered where to go from here. She wanted to be friends still. She didn’t seem to hate him anymore. She also didn’t forgive him if she wanted to maintain a friends only kind of relationship.
His eyes glided to the mistletoe above him.
Perhaps it was time for a big grand gesture to show her he truly loved her.
Chapter 15
Theresa slouched into her couch trying not to feel sorry for herself. After much internal arguing, she gave in to help decorate. She wasn’t a person who said she’d do something and then not actually do it. She knew seeing Aiden would be difficult, but she refused to look like an untrustworthy person. The minute he asked her to help decorate and she accepted, the entire town knew. And if she didn’t show up, they’d also know that.
It wasn’t so bad last night. She helped Gabby the entire night, while Aiden worked closely with Bentley. She couldn’t help but toss glances his way here and there. Sometimes, their eyes connected. Other times, she soaked up everything she could before he turned her way.
Stringing lights and helping to display the holiday spirit gave her time to think, gave her perspective on their situation. The holidays should bring forth happiness, not sorrow and pain. That’s exactly what she was doing to herself. She didn’t like feeling that way.
So what he didn’t call her the next day. So what he didn’t show up for his normal cup of coffee. It’s not like he had to do those things. They had sex, and that’s it. She just wanted to move on. But she also didn’t want any weird tension between them. That’s why she put the truce out there and asked if they could still be friends.
And he agreed.
Her heart broke a little more when he did. Silly her. She wanted him to profess his love and pull her into his arms and kiss her.
Well, he did the latter. He just didn’t do the first thing. Profess his love.
He probably never would. She needed to accept that.
She had never written a bucket list before, although at times thought of a few things she’d add if she ever wrote one. She could cross one item off.
Sleep with Aiden Crowl.
She could now put her ridiculous crush behind her.
The other thing on her imaginary bucket list would be to get her brother some help.
She tried to refrain as lo
ng as she could. She really, really tried. But she couldn’t do it. On her lunch break yesterday, she swung by the jail to pay his bail. To her complete surprise, someone else already paid it. When she asked with the sweetest smile she possessed who did, the officer behind the desk refused to tell her.
Who would pay his bail? She always did. Of course, he wasn’t arrested that often, but the few times he got locked up, she was there for him. Her mother never had any money to do it, and her father, who knew where he was.
She tried to call James, but he didn’t answer. Ignoring her like he enjoyed doing lately. There was no way she’d visit him at Dusty’s house again. So she let it go.
The problem with letting it go was he needed to get help. Because one of these days she would lose her brother entirely, the good man she knew he could be. He was hidden somewhere inside that persona he showed off to the world.
By the time she got back to the diner, her mood was terrible, especially when she couldn’t get rid of the concern about who might’ve bailed her brother out and why he wouldn’t answer her phone call. It didn’t take Bonzo long to increase her mood to disastrous levels when he reminded her about the Christmas decorating. Not that she forgot about it, because it had been on her mind the entire morning, making her sick to her stomach that she told him she wouldn’t be there.
But she did go there and he kissed her and touched her and it all made her wish for things she couldn’t have.
Her eyes glided to her Christmas tree all lit up in its beautiful glory. That happy holiday spirit she had hoped to regain from making amends with Aiden still wasn’t there. Even staring at her lovely tree.
All day, being a Saturday where she didn’t have to work, she did nothing but pine and think and wonder what Aiden was doing. Here, late into the evening, she still couldn’t help but do the same thing.
Was she wrong in offering friends only? Maybe they should just ignore each other. Maybe it would be easier on her heart. He agreed way too quickly for her tastes. Hell, she wished he never agreed at all.
Why couldn’t he love her? Would she ever find a man who loved her as much as he loved Cynthia?
“You’re being pathetic right now, Theresa.”
Mistletoe Magic (A Holiday Romance Novel Book 2) Page 14