by Billie Rae
Scott walked to the table and placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. “That’ll make you feel better.”
She sipped it thankfully, feeling the warmth of the liquid travel right through her body. She looked at Scott as she hooked a lock of hair behind her ear. She knew she looked a mess, her long, tangled hair falling over her shoulders and a tear-stained face. Her eyes stung and she knew they must be red and swollen.
Yet the look Scott gave her was one of adoration. He smiled at her with a tenderness she had never known.
When he reached out his hand and covered hers, she nearly gasped.
“You’re beautiful even when you’re upset,” he said. He pushed Lorraine’s cup away and bent across the table to kiss her softly on the lips.
“Why did you come to Blenheim?” Lorraine asked suddenly, not even knowing why she said it.
Scott looked at her with a steady gaze. “Because I wanted to see you again.”
It was the answer she had been fishing for. “I didn’t think—”
“I know, I didn’t either. It wasn’t until you left Christchurch that I realised you meant more to me than anybody else has before.” He reached across and took her other hand. “Then Donna confirmed how you felt and I just had to come and see you.”
Lorraine closed her eyes and smiled. She could hardly believe that Scott was sitting there saying all this. That he actually felt the same way she did. But the soft touch of his lips against hers confirmed it was true.
Scott moved around the table and took Lorraine into his arms, kissing her tenderly. She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder as they held each other tightly.
All too soon, Lorraine felt reality slipping in. “I have to ring the hospital,” she said, pulling away from Scott and going to the telephone.
“Lorraine, what good is that going to do?” Scott said, placing a hand on her arm.
Lorraine turned desperately to Scott. “I feel so helpless.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I just can’t sit around here and do nothing.”
“Yes you can, and you’re going to. I think you should get a good night’s sleep and go up to the hospital tomorrow with a fresh mind. He wouldn’t like to see you looking like this. It won’t do him any good.”
She sighed. “You’re right. But I don’t think I want to be in this house by myself.” She looked up at him. “Will you stay? There’s a spare bed upstairs if you want it.”
Scott took Lorraine into his arms again. “Yes, I’ll stay. For you.”
As she climbed into bed, dressed in a short white nightshirt, she realised just what Scott’s words meant. He cared about her. His feelings were as strong as hers and he was in love with her as much as she was with him. He respected her, for he had not asked to sleep with her, even though Lorraine knew he wanted to.
She murmured his name softly into her pillow as she rolled over to go to sleep. But she found that sleep would not come. She got out of bed and brushed her hair until it shone, then she walked out into the hallway.
Scott’s door was partly open and the bedside lamp let out a dim light. She pushed the door open to see Scott standing by the window, wearing only his jeans. He was facing her, his arms hanging loosely by his sides.
She smiled, knowing that he had been waiting for her.
“I knew it wouldn’t be long before you realised you couldn’t sleep,” he said, returning her smile.
“You’re a wanker,” she said playfully as she walked towards him.
“Don’t touch,” Scott said softly as she drew near. He smiled. “Get as close as you want, but no contact. I want to see who can last the longest.”
She moved her face close to his, teasingly letting her mouth wander only centimetres from his mouth. “Two can play this game,” she said, moving her body closer and taking care not to touch him.
She slipped her nightshirt down over her shoulders and let it rest just above her breasts.
Scott’s lips moved down towards her neck but still did not touch her.
She moved her hands carefully to the dome on his jeans, and without making contact with his soft, brown skin, she undid them.
Scott tried to do the same with her nightshirt, yet it was obvious he couldn’t control the urge when he reached down and touched the creamy skin that lay beneath.
“Sucker,” Lorraine giggled as she kissed him hungrily on the lips.
He led her to the bed and they slipped quickly beneath the blankets.
* * * *
In the morning Lorraine woke to the smell of hot coffee drifting up the stairwell. She got out of bed and put on a bathrobe, then walked down to the kitchen.
Scott was busy making a pot of coffee and he turned to greet Lorraine.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he said cheerfully. “Sleep well?”
Lorraine smiled as she went to the telephone. “I’m just going to ring the hospital,” she said as she dialled the number.
“Hello, Wairau Hospital, can I help you?”
“Can I have ward six please,” Lorraine said as she watched Scott patting the cat. He picked him up and the cat immediately began to dribble in ecstasy.
I know how you feel, Lorraine thought to herself with amusement.
“Hang on and I’ll put you through,” the receptionist said.
When Lorraine got through, she asked about her father, only to be told there was no change. Things were definitely not looking up.
After Lorraine had showered and dressed, Scott took her up to the hospital.
“I won’t come in,” he said as she got out of the car.
“You can if you want to,” Lorraine said as she bent over and looked back at Scott.
“There’s a few things I have to do,” he said as he smiled at Lorraine. “I’ll be back in an hour. If not, I’ll have a taxi waiting for you.”
“Okay.” Lorraine walked briskly into the hospital, then turned to watch Scott as he disappeared from the car park. The emotion she saw painted on his face was one she didn’t understand, and it wasn’t until later that she realised what it had meant.
As she went to see her father, the doctor stopped her in the corridor.
“We have some good news and some bad news,” he said.
“What’s the good news?” Lorraine asked.
“Your father’s gained feeling in his legs.” He gave her a big grin. “But that means he will be in a bit of pain for a while. We’re doing all we can for him at the moment. He’ll have to have skin graft operations and a lot of physio but we’re confident that he’ll be able to walk again.”
Lorraine rushed to her father’s room. She found him asleep, so she waited for an hour, but the drugs they had given him had put him out for some time.
“Bye, Dad,” she whispered, kissing him softly on the forehead.
As she walked back out to the carpark, she couldn’t see Scott’s blue ford, yet she spotted a green taxi and went quickly to it.
“You must be Lorraine,” the taxi driver said as she climbed in.
She smiled and nodded, puzzled as he handed her a note.
Her smile faded as she saw Scott’s sloped handwriting.
Lorraine,
I couldn’t say this to your face because I know how you would react. I know you have a lot on your mind at the moment with your father, and it would not have been fair to ask you to go back to Christchurch with me as was originally my intention. However, I have my home there and I cannot leave it. Right now, Tracey needs me as much as your father needs you. We both have our separate lives and it is so unfortunate that yours is here and mine is there. I don’t think I could cope with only seeing you when you got a chance to come and visit. So, I guess it’s all or nothing.
In our case it just happened to be nothing.
It kills me to have to leave you behind, but I know you would not leave your father now that he won’t walk again. I wouldn’t ask you to either.
Your face deserves to smile, so keep your chin up.
A
ll my love,
Scott. xx
Lorraine’s eyes blurred with tears as she folded the letter into her hand. She felt like dying. If only her father had not been in an accident. Why was the universe so intent on being against them?
If only Scott had waited a while longer.
Indeed, they had their separate lives and it killed Lorraine to think that they could no longer be together.
But ultimately, he was right. Their lives were too different right now for them to be together. He couldn’t leave Tracey and she couldn’t leave her father.
Chapter Six
For the next few days, Lorraine kept herself busy, trying to keep her mind off Scott and on her father. Unfortunately, the gorgeous blonde who had turned her life around was never far from her thoughts. She felt a dull ache in her chest every time she pictured him smiling at her.
Finally, after a few months, her father was released from hospital. Ahead of them lay more months of physiotherapy and Lorraine focused herself on his rehabilitation, pouring her energy and focus into the task of getting him well.
One afternoon, while she sat in a pool of sunlight in their spacious lounge, her father surprised her.
“So, do you miss him very much?”
She whirled to face him where he stood by the window. She stared at him blankly.
He gave her a secretive smile. “Oh, yes, I know. Scott Travers. Donna told me all about him and I know he was in Blenheim when I was in hospital.” He sighed. “You’re very much in love with him, aren’t you?”
Lorraine nodded blindly. There was no use trying to hide the truth from her father. He knew her just as well as she knew him.
She dug deep into her handbag and removed the note Scott had left her, handing it to her father.
He read it silently, then looked up at this beautiful daughter.
“He doesn’t know that I’m walking again?” he asked.
“No,” Lorraine said. “He had gone before we found out you were going to be okay.”
Mark laughed. “You’re just like your mother. She strung me along for a while too. Go and get packed.” He pulled her to her feet and hugged her before she could think about what was happening.
“But, Dad—”
“Oh, don’t you worry about me,” he said, giving her another big smile. “I’ll be fine.”
“I won’t leave you on your own,” Lorraine protested.
Her father gave another secretive smile. “Oh, I don’t think I’ll be on my own.”
Lorraine stared at him quizzically.
Mark pulled out his wallet and retrieved a small photo of a pretty blond woman, who appeared to be about his age. She looked familiar but for a moment Lorraine couldn’t place her. “Remember Lisa?”
Lorraine grinned. The pretty blonde in the photo looked very different out of her nurse’s uniform. She couldn’t hide her happiness for her father, despite the fact she felt slightly betrayed by his silence. And all this time she thought she knew him.
They had been holding out on each other.
His face turned serious for a moment. “I want to see those suitcases packed in one hour,” he said, glancing at his watch.
“But, Dad, I don’t even know if he wants me. He left me, remember?”
“Do you want to be with him?” His brows curved as he studied his daughter.
She took her lip between her teeth. “Yes, more than anything.”
He smiled. “Then take the chance. If you don’t, you’ll always regret it.”
* * * *
The taxi stopped outside the familiar brick house and Lorraine got out of the car.
Struggling with her suitcases, she walked up the drive and found the key under the doormat. She still couldn’t believe that her father had so willingly handed over the keys to the family sedan. But then, he wouldn’t be driving for a while, and Lisa had her own car.
Letting herself into the house, she walked through to the bedroom, knowing that Tony, Donna and Scott would all be at work. She’d spoken to Donna just a few days ago and knew they all had jobs. Donna, she was pleased to find, had proven her wrong and had secured a good job at the mall.
Lorraine sat down to wait for Scott. From what she knew, he would be home after his two o’clock shift finished at the picture theatre. She’d been careful to not let on to Donna that she was coming, even though she had been bursting to do so. She needed to see the reaction she got from Scott when he saw her for the first time. Would he be upset or pleased to see her? She hoped, beyond anything, that he didn’t have another girlfriend already. She had no idea whether Donna would have told her or not, given that it might have upset her to know.
When she heard the familiar rattling of his keys, she stood up, suddenly nervous.
She saw him before he even knew she was there. His face looked drawn, she noted with sadness. He’d even lost weight since she’d seen him last.
“Hi,” she said quietly.
Scott turned to face her and they stood watching each other for a few moments.
In what seemed like only a second, he crossed the distance between them and was standing in front of her. The expression on his face melted to one of pure pleasure.
“Don’t touch,” Lorraine said, smiling broadly as she watched the sparkle creep back into his deep brown eyes.
“Get stuffed,” Scott said as he took Lorraine in an embrace that told her she had been wrong in assuming he didn’t care after all.
“Why, Scott?” Her eyes filled with tears and forever afterwards she could not remember whether it was from the pain of losing him or the relief that she had found him again.
“That’s something I can’t answer.” He shook his head. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I thought it would tear you apart having to choose between me and your father.”
“Sure.” Lorraine lifted her hand and touched Scott’s cheek. “But you could have at least given me the choice.”
“I just didn’t want to force that on you. I didn’t know what to do.”
Lorraine turned away slowly. “You know, after you left I was sure you didn’t really care after all. That you’d used me—”
“Lorraine—”
“I wasn’t even sure if you’d accept me back into your life now. In all honesty, do you really care for me or are you still just making excuses?”
“Lorraine, that’s not fair.”
She could see the hurt in his eyes as he came to stand in front of her once more. She waited for him to continue.
“I love you,” he said. “I think I have right from the moment you came into our house, when I realised you were different to all the other girls I’ve met.”
Lorraine smiled as he put his hand on her arm.
She shook her head. “That’s all I wanted to hear. “I’m sorry I hurt you just now saying those things, but I needed to be sure. I’ve come all this way and I didn’t want it to be for nothing. If I’m going to lose you again, it should be now, not after I’m settled.”
He grinned and took her into his arms. “Settled? So you’re here for good then?”
She nodded, suddenly shy because of the way he was looking at her. It had been the right decision – coming all this way. She’d taken a risk and the risk had been worth it. She knew now that if she wanted him, Scott was hers. The look in his eyes was all the conviction she needed.
Scott leaned in to kiss her. “Good,” he said as his lips brushed hers. “Because I’m not planning on losing you a third time.”