“That’s so kind of you,” I said in my most gracious voice.
When we left the restaurant, I checked my phone to see how much longer we had together. It was just after ten thirty p.m. And I had seven missed calls from Dad. Oh crap.
Dad hadn’t cared about my curfew in weeks, so why was he bothered now? Then I realized that the missed calls had been coming in since eight thirty p.m.
This was it. He’d found me out and I’d be grounded until the end of time.
“I’d better get home,” I said, trying to hide the panic on my face.
What could be so urgent? And why couldn’t he send a text message?
“Of course. Will you let me escort you?” Marco said.
Escort me? I kind of loved the formal way he spoke. But escorting me was out of the question. If Dad saw Marco, that would be the nail in my rapidly approaching coffin.
“No, I couldn’t let you do that! But you can wait with me at the bus stop,” I said.
I spent the tube ride home feeling queasy, and it wasn’t just because of the Buffalo wings. If the myths are anything to go by, being grounded was the least of my worries. I’ve heard about some of the punishments that Zeus has doled out over the years (rolling a boulder up a hill for eternity, anyone?). Marco tried to make conversation, but my heart wasn’t in it. I hoped he didn’t notice.
When we finally got out of the tube station, my bus was just pulling into the stop. Marco wouldn’t have to wait with me after all.
“That’s my bus!” I yelled before giving Marco a quick hug (no time for a kiss) and jumping on. I waved from the top deck, and he waved back as the bus pulled away. Annoyingly, our time together was cut short. Again.
I had dozens of messages from the girls, but I couldn’t think about those now. I messaged Dad saying that I should be home in ten minutes.
By the time I walked from the bus stop to my house, I’d imagined so many awful scenarios that I was nearly in tears, ready to confess everything and throw myself on to Dad’s mercy. I followed the sound of voices into the living room, my heart in my throat, walked in and found Dad with his head in his hands.
The TV was paused on Apollo’s face.
TWENTY-TWO
Dad looked up when he heard me come through the door, his face hard as stone. I felt the rage radiating from him, like standing too close to a crackling bonfire.
“I suppose you knew about this?” He gestured towards the TV.
I nodded. There was no point in lying.
So that’s why Dad was calling me all evening. It’s not that he found out about Marco. He’d found out about Apollo’s national fame.
Honestly? I’m not sure this was any better.
Dad’s face turned a shade of red that could only be described as volcanic. “Helen. This. Is. Huge,” he said in a low voice. “Why didn’t you tell me? Do you have any idea of the ramifications?”
Hold on a second. Was he really going to lecture me about ramifications? I didn’t break the rules.
He was the one who was never home. He was the one who didn’t bother with his responsibilities. And he was the one who abandoned his family.
He abandoned me.
Lava rippled through my veins. If Dad wanted a fight, he was going to get it.
“How is this my fault?” I yelled. Dad froze but I was nowhere near done. “Maybe if you were actually home and not spending every waking moment with Lisa, then you would have noticed that Apollo is on national TV and Aphrodite is an internet superstar.”
Dad looked confused when I mentioned Aphrodite. Like all of this was news to him.
“You didn’t know that either?” I said. A part of me was stunned. He was even more clueless than I thought. “How could you have missed that? She’s practically turned the attic into her studio!”
Dad sank back into the sofa, shocked. I hadn’t imagined it. He really had no clue what was going on with his family.
“You’re meant to look after us,” I hissed, my fury boiling over. “It isn’t my job to keep you updated. I could be doing goodness-knows-what every night once Maria goes home, and you’d never know!” I shouted.
Dad looked up. “Helen, I had no idea—”
“Save it!” I wasn’t finished yet. “Do you have any clue how hard it is to be surrounded by a family of strangers? Strangers with superpowers?” I said. “We don’t look the same, or even think the same… I have zero in common with any of you.”
Tears pricked my eyes. I turned to leave, pausing at the door. “You’ve had literally thousands of years to practise being a parent,” I said. “If you haven’t figured it out by now? You never will.”
I slammed the front door and ran up the stairs to my room before I burst into tears. Once I made it to my room, I let it all out. I cried until my pillow was sodden and covered in the mascara Noor had persuaded me to wear for my date. That seemed so long ago now.
I’d never spoken to Dad like that before. I don’t think I’d spoken to anyone like that before. It wasn’t like me to shout and slam doors, but it felt so good to finally show Dad how I felt.
If I was being honest, I hadn’t realized how strongly I felt about Dad’s absence. Mum always said that pushing down negative emotions would only do more harm than good, in the long run. Of course she was right, as always.
I lay on my bed, breathing in and out. I started to calm down and replayed the argument in my head. I really went for it. Wherever this inner rage came from, it wasn’t from Mum’s side of the family. My body practically vibrated with anger – it had to be an immortal thing. We had more in common than I’d thought.
TWENTY-THREE
A few hours later, Dad came upstairs and told me he was calling an emergency family meeting. I didn’t want to join, but I didn’t want a bunch of useless gods deciding my fate for me either. I washed the mascara streaks off my face and went downstairs, feeling nervous about how this discussion would go.
When I walked into the living room and saw Apollo there without his usual relaxed grin, I knew that Dad wasn’t messing around. Turned out he had called the House of Stars studio a few hours before and told them there was a family emergency. They’d bundled Apollo into a taxi and sent him straight home.
“You could have at least told me what was going on when I got into the cab, Father,” said Apollo through gritted teeth. “I thought there was a real emergency! Like a break-in at my flat or something.”
“ENOUGH,” Dad shouted. I could have sworn that his eyes flashed lightning for a split second.
Apollo scowled, but he didn’t say anything else.
“This IS a real emergency,” said Dad, nursing a glass of wine. “We’ve had a written warning from the Council. They’re aware that you’ve broken the rules. One more misdemeanour, and we’ll be called back for a trial.”
Aphrodite and Eros had the good sense to stay quiet. Apollo swore under his breath, muttering something about Cranus. I’d heard of this guy before. A powerful Council member, right?
“Don’t blame this on our enemy, Apollo. Helen told me everything,” Dad said.
They glared at me with eyes like hot coals. GREAT. Now I’d have to sleep with one eye open. Thanks for dropping me in it, Dad.
“Aphrodite earning worldwide fame on the YouTubes and Apollo on that TV show watched by millions: these are clear examples of rule-breaking,” he continued. “You’ve made this so simple for Cranus. And for the rest of the Council.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Apollo said. “I don’t know what Helen told you, but Aphrodite and I totally earned our fame. Have you seen the losers on that TV show? There’s a man who plays the ukulele with, like, his toes. I didn’t need to use my powers to get a place!”
“Apollo is absolutely correct. Infants Helen’s age can put together videos and get millions of hits. My success is entirely on my own merit,” Aphrodite said.
“That is beside the point, and you know it,” Dad said. “You’re bringing global attention to the family.”
&nbs
p; And what would happen then? Why was no one else wondering what would happen to us? To me?
Apollo sighed. “It’s so unfair that we can’t have a little bit of fun. What’s the use of being an accomplished musician without an audience?”
My selfish siblings were too wrapped up in their little bit of fun and fame being taken away to listen to me. I felt invisible. I stood up. “Can someone please tell me what happens to me if you all ruin your cover?” I said at the top of my voice.
“Your brother and sister have risked getting us all sent back to Mount Olympus, Helen,” said Dad. “There would be a trial, and if found guilty, we’d be banished from the mortal realm. Or worse.”
I fell back in my chair. “What do you mean by ‘us’? I didn’t break the rules.”
Dad sighed. “The Council don’t see it that way. We are a family, and we would be treated as such.”
The thought floored me. I knew living with gods wouldn’t always be easy. But apparently it could ruin my life, too. “So you’re saying that I could be sent to Mount Olympus. For ever? Even though I’m not a god?”
Dad nodded. I felt like my BBQ dinner would make a reappearance at any moment.
Aphrodite shrugged. “But that won’t happen, because we’ve done nothing wrong. It’ll all blow over.”
“Too right,” said Apollo. “Since when did the Council get their knickers in a twist over a little love spell, anyway?”
Silence fell over the room. Dad froze.
Aphrodite glared at Apollo. “Now you’ve done it,” she said.
I wasn’t the only one who looked confused. Why was Apollo talking about a love spell? Dad and I watched Aphrodite, Apollo and Eros as they looked guiltily at each other.
Dad took off his spectacles and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Out with it, one of you.”
Aphrodite smiled nervously. “Well, Eros and I noticed how antisocial you’ve been the last couple of decades. Hardly going on dates or out to parties like you used to. Just spending all that time in the garden, mucking about with antiques and smelly vegetables. We thought you might like to meet someone. A woman,” she said.
It took me a minute to understand what was going on, but Dad grasped it instantly. He looked horrified. No, more than horrified. Crushed.
“Tell me exactly what you did and the precise order in which you did it. Don’t leave anything out,” Dad said, his voice low as thunder.
“Father, it really wasn’t that bad. We simply arranged your meeting with Lisa at the university. Then when it appeared to go well, I had Eros accelerate Lisa’s affection for you slightly.”
“Slightly?” Apollo said. “I think she’s one week away from proposing to Dad herself.”
But Dad had been single for years. Why did they trick someone into being his girlfriend now?
Then it all clicked into place. Of course, Eros could never resist the chance to help with matters of the heart. Plus, if Dad was busy with Lisa, then Aphrodite and Apollo were free to do what they wanted. And it worked.
How could he not have realized?
I turned to look at Dad. His face was in his hands, fingers trembling with rage. I didn’t know whether to give him a hug, or back away before his temper exploded.
He lifted his head up. “I’m not sure when you, my own children, decided that this was an acceptable way to behave. But it isn’t,” Dad said. His voice boomed, echoing off the walls and filling the room.
“It’s childish, manipulative and the sort of behaviour that will have the whole family banished to Mount Olympus for a century at least. Helen could lose the only life she’s ever known!”
The three offending gods shifted uncomfortably. They had the good sense to look guilty.
“Eros, using your powers to cause a mortal to fall in love… This is huge.”
I still couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They could lose their powers. Because of these idiots, I could be banished to life on Mount Olympus.
No Marco. No friends. No Grandma Thomas. Just the thought made my head spin.
“It’s vital that we keep a low profile,” Dad continued. “I’m sentencing all three of you to house arrest for thirty days. During that time, you will be banned from making any contact with the outside world.”
“But my views will plummet!” Aphrodite shrieked.
“This is ridiculous. I’m way too old to be grounded,” said Apollo. He marched to the front door but it wouldn’t open for him.
“Apollo, your house arrest is here. Not your own flat. I need to keep an eye on you,” Dad said.
“But my record deal is on the line!” Apollo retorted.
Aphrodite stood up. “Father, this is grossly unfair. For the first time in centuries, my life has some purpose. I went viral, for god’s sake. You can’t take that away!”
Their selfishness was unreal. “So what?” I yelled. I was one more fight away from a sore throat. “You’re going to RUIN my life because of a record deal and video views?!”
They looked at me like I’d appeared out of nowhere.
“Do I have to remind you that my life is here, on earth, and not in some fairy land in the clouds? Did that ever cross your minds?” Tears started to stream down my cheeks. I couldn’t help it.
I was so disgusted with all of them. Even Eros, my favourite, didn’t stop to think that his actions might ruin my life.
“Helen, I’m so—” Dad began.
“Oh, please, give it a rest,” I interrupted. I pushed through the living room door and ran upstairs before anyone could stop me.
I checked my phone, which I had left upstairs (phones are forbidden in family meetings) and saw fifteen missed calls, eight Instagram messages and about a gazillion texts – all asking what the hell was going on with DJ Sunny. I guess the news had leaked that he was no longer a contestant on House of Stars.
It was nearly two a.m., only three hours since I’d come home from my date with Marco. Three hours ago, my body tingled with butterflies. Three hours ago, my biggest worry was having Buffalo sauce on my face when he kissed me.
Now, my biggest worry? Wondering if me and my family would be extradited to Mount Olympus. Tonight had turned from one of the best nights of my life to one of the worst. And it was all because of my stupid, childish, irresponsible family.
I sobbed myself to sleep.
TWENTY-FOUR
On Monday morning I had one thing to look forward to. My plan was to float into school, tell my best friends about my dreamy date with Marco and enjoy the endless questions tinged with envy. Like that bit on the bleachers in Grease, where Sandy tells the girls about kissing Danny. Even better, it would help me forget about that disastrous family meeting on Saturday night.
But once again, my family were ruining my life. Instead of describing ice skating under the stars, I was dodging questions about stupid Apollo. His mysterious absence from House of Stars last night was all over Twitter. I don’t know how the entire school found out that we were related, but I must have been asked the same question about fifty times in one morning: “What happened to DJ Sunny?”
And my answer? “There was a family emergency.” I was under strict instructions from Dad to say this and nothing more. He even made me practise my poker face this morning like I haven’t been forced to lie every day since I moved in with my ridiculous family.
To be fair, it technically wasn’t a lie. Being put under house arrest to appease the Council so that my entire family isn’t banished from the mortal world and stripped of their powers? Definitely an emergency situation.
Even teachers seemed to be treating me differently. Miss Bloom bumped into me in the corridor and gave me a sympathetic squeeze on the shoulder. It took me about twenty minutes of confusion before I realized why she’d done it. It’s always hard to tell with her.
The same thing happened when I walked into double English. The first thing Noor said to me was “OH MY GOD! Helen! What happened to DJ Sunny?”
I clenched my jaw and said the same th
ing I’d been saying all day. “Family emergency.”
Noor raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow. But if she didn’t believe me, she didn’t let on.
“You know you can talk to me about it any time, right, babe?” she said. I nodded and smiled weakly in response.
If only Noor knew how wrong she was. Because I couldn’t talk about it to her. Not in double physics. Not after school. Not ever. My friends could never know about the epic trouble my family were in.
Just as I was considering making something up about Apollo’s disappearance (a case of mega contagious adult chickenpox, maybe?), Daphne and Yasmin dropped their books on our table with a thud.
“Oh-em-gee!” Yasmin said. “I heard about your brother. Helen, you have to spill every—”
Noor made a cutting motion with her hand, instantly silencing Yasmin. “Actually, maybe we shouldn’t talk about that right now,” she said.
Daphne must’ve picked up the gloomy vibes I was radiating, and swiftly changed the subject.
“But you’re gonna tell us about your date on Saturday, right?” she asked.
I smiled. The thought of Marco was an instant mood booster, like sunshine on a Saturday morning.
“Wowwwww,” said Yasmin. “Where did that grin come from? You need to tell us everything.”
The change in subject brought me out of my funk. I told them about my date, from skating at the Natural History Museum to dinner in Soho.
“Did you get another kiss with bae, then?” asked Noor.
Sigh. I wished I could say yes. “I missed my curfew and had to rush home, so no time for a kiss,” I said.
“No time for a kiss?!” said Noor. “But you were running late already!”
“Well, yeah, but I had like ten missed calls from Dad. Who thought I was at the cinema with you guys,” I said. “I couldn’t risk him driving to the cinema and picking me up himself. He’d implode.”
The conversation stopped there as we went to lunch. I realized that it was the first time all day that I hadn’t worried about what the Council had in store for my family.
Oh My Gods Page 12