Olivia nodded. A friend, maybe I’ll have a real friend. “Sure, come on!” She rushed out of the bushes. When she reached the clearing, she found herself facing Holly’s back. “Holly!” she yelled, happily.
“Olivia! I was so worried!” Holly watched the boy emerge from the bushes. He was tall and handsome in a mischievous boyish way, with an innocent face and beautiful eyes. She smiled, hesitantly, “Who is this?”
“This is Jason,” Olivia said. “He lives over there.” She pointed to the house on the knoll. She brushed the dirt off her dress and smiled at Holly, a particular smile that Holly had rarely seen. It was an effortless smile, filled with teenage hope.
Holly extended her hand to Jason, “Hi Jason. I’m Holly.”
Peter and Cruz eyed each other knowingly and protectively sidled up beside Olivia. Peter bent down and whispered, “He’s a cutie!”
Olivia blushed.
Jason shook Holly’s hand. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” He said hello to Peter and Cruz.
Jack sized up Jason, letting his eyes rise up and drop down slowly, with a cautious gaze of protection. “Jason,” he lifted his chin in a quick nod.
Holly elbowed him in the side and gave him a look that said, Ease up.
“So, Jason,” Jack tried to sound pleasant, though his heart screamed, Protect! “What were you doing over there?”
“I saw ya’ll come into the parking lot and wanted to see what was going on,” he said easily, then looked down and added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was a private ceremony.”
“That’s alright,” Holly said and smiled at Olivia.
“Holly, we were going to take a walk. Is that okay?” Olivia’s eyes were bright and pleaded for a little teenage time.
“Um, sure, but stay close by, okay? We’re going to go back home for brunch pretty soon.” She took Olivia’s hand and turned her away from Jason. Holly whispered, “Are you sure you are alright? Do you want me to go with you?”
Olivia shook her head quickly, and her smile stretched from dimple to dimple.
“Okay, then. Just be careful. Oh, and take my phone, just in case. Jack’s number is speed dialed into it on number two.” She pressed the phone into Olivia’s palm which she noticed was trembling.
“Thanks,” Olivia said, and turned to Jason. “Ready?” “Sure,” Jason said. He reached out to shake Jack’s hand again. “Nice to meet you, sir. Don’t worry, we won’t go far. There’s a cranberry bog I want to show her. It’s right over that hill.” His tan, thin arm pointed over the crest of the hill.
Jack nodded. The pull in his heart was new to him. He felt like a father bear protecting his young and wondered why it was hitting him so strongly. He looked back at the empty chairs and quickly remembered.
Holly sidled up next to Jack and rested her body against his. His arm quickly circled her shoulder, pulling her closer. “It’s okay, Jack. She needs this.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, and kissed her forehead. “I’m sure she does, but it feels weird. All of a sudden I want to protect her. I’ve known her all my life. Why now?”
“Because Megan’s gone.” Holly looked up at Jack and into his caring eyes. “She’s ours now, Jack. We are supposed to protect her.”
“This is hard, Holly. How do we know he’s not going to hurt her?”
Holly laughed inwardly. She loved the paternal nature that was coming out in Jack. “We have to trust our instincts and Olivia’s.” She draped her arm around his waist. “She’s a smart girl, Jack. Just look at who she learned from. What she did before, that was rebellion. What she’s doing now, this is normal. This is good.”
“I guess,” he said. Jack took her hand and they made their way back to the other guests.
Olivia followed Jason through the bushes and over the crest of the hill. She watched his tall thin body move effortlessly. He was nimble, weaving his way around the prickly areas and holding branches up for her to walk underneath. The butterflies were back, and every time he looked at her they tied her stomach in knots. She was glad for the silence, not sure if her voice would fail her if she tried to speak.
As they moved further away from the lighthouse, a wave of guilt passed through Olivia. She stopped, look behind her, and in the space of a breath was gripped by teenage confidence. Mom would understand.
Jason reached out to help her up the last step of the hill. He lifted her with ease. Thoughts of her mother and the others were tossed aside, replaced with the beautiful scene before her. Thousands of flowering plants covered the water. Little flowers sprouted up through the thick, lush greenery. Though it was too early for the actual cranberries to grow, the vegetation was glorious.
“This is my grandfather’s bog,” Jason said with pride. Her smile made his heart race. Wow, she sure is pretty. Jason swallowed hard, and looked away to quiet the stirring in his body.
“Really! That’s so cool!” she said. “Can we go closer?” Jason took her hand and walked her down the hill. He felt her hand shaking in his own and wondered if she felt his as well. He bent down to take off his flip flops. “Take your shoes off, it’s pretty mushy.”
Olivia bent down and took off her heels, placing them on the grass beside his sandals.
“We can’t go in, but we can get close,” he said, and they walked to the edge of the bog.
“My granddad brings in beehives during June and July. You have to be careful. The bees pollinate the flowers.” He pointed to an area about three feet to their left. “See! Look there! See all those bees?”
Olivia squinted, gave a little shriek. “Oh! Wow!” She instinctively took a step backward. “I hate bees!”
He stepped back with her. “Don’t worry. They’re so interested in the flowers that they won’t come near you.” They stood in silence for a few minutes. Jason’s heart beat so hard he was sure she could hear it. “In a few weeks the cranberries will grow. The whole place will be red, like a red sea or something. Then in early fall, granddad harvests them. It’s really cool.”
Olivia couldn’t quiet the storm that swirled in her stomach. She put her hand across her belly. “I want to see them. I’ve seen pictures, but I’ve never seen the real thing.”
“Well, where do you live?” He silently hoped it was nearby.
Olivia looked away, not sure how to answer the question. “I live about an hour from here, but I’m moving closer.”
“When?” Jason asked, unaware of her pain.
“I don’t really know. Soon, I guess.” Olivia’s mind drifted to her mother. guilt replaced the excitement in her stomach as she realized that she was happy while her mother was gone. She couldn’t believe she was actually contemplating the possible happiness of moving here, while her mother wouldn’t be by her side. Her legs suddenly felt heavy, and she moved back to the grass and crouched down, resting on her heels.
Jason turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired.”
Jason felt her change. Her easiness had turned heavy, her face looked sad. “What’s up, Olivia?” He settled on the grass beside her, their knees barely touched.
The feel of his skin on hers sent a tingle up her spine. Olivia wanted to move her knee away from his, feeling badly for feeling so good, but she couldn’t. She liked the feeling. She wanted to feel it, to feel happy. Shit! What am I going to do. I’m sorry, Mom.
“I…I heard you,” Jason said tentatively, “before.”
Olivia looked up at him, her green eyes like emeralds glistening in the summer sun. “Hm?”
“I heard you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spy on you. When you were at the lighthouse, i—” he quickly looked down at his hands, tore a piece of grass from beside him, and began to rip it into small pieces, “I heard you crying.”
Olivia blushed and turned away. “Why were you sad?” he asked.
She couldn’t look at him. She wasn’t ready to talk about her mother. I’m such a fool. What am I doing here? I should be
back there thinking
only about Mom. She sat in silence.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry I asked,” Jason said quietly.
“No, it’s okay,” she said. Tears pooled in her eyes.
Jason looked up at her. “What is it? Did I do something?”
“No, no,” Olivia said, shaking her head as the tears tumbled down her cheeks.
Jason reached up and wiped them with his thumb, slow and careful.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here. I’m such a mess.” Olivia stood to walk back to the lighthouse.
“Wait!” Jason was up on his feet in a second flat and reached for her arm.
Olivia froze when he touched her. She felt the heat of his hand all the way to her toes. She covered her eyes, embarrassed by her tears. “I’m sorry. I just—” She couldn’t stop her tears which flowed in between her fingers.
“What? What is it Olivia?” Jason asked. “You can tell me.” He felt bad for Olivia. He wished he could take her in his arms and hold her, yet he knew he couldn’t. It would have been too awkward. “Olivia,” he whispered, “you can tell me.” He bent down and craned his neck to look up under her hands and into her wet eyes. He smiled.
She wiped her eyes and turned around. She sunk to her knees in the grass and took a deep breath. Her eyes drifted up and away from Jason’s face, up toward the clouds. “It’s my mom.”
“What’s your mom?”
Olivia pointed to the gathering beyond the lighthouse. Jason quickly thought back to what he had seen earlier, the way everyone had watched Olivia so intently, how she had cried continually. Realization dawned abruptly. How could he have been so stupid?
“Your mom,” he said.
Olivia took a deep breath, hoping with every fiber of her being to smell lavender and coconut, but instead was filled with the fresh smells of summer: dune grass, sea water, and wet sand. She turned to Jason. The rush of tears slowed to a trickle.
“Yeah,” she whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “My parents are gone, too.”
Olivia whipped her head toward him, her eyes opened wide. “They are?” Her heart pounded.
“Yeah, two years ago. That’s why I live with my granddad.” Jason lifted his eyebrows, as if to say, I get it...
“I’m so sorry. How?” Olivia turned her body to face his.
“You may have heard about it. We were on our way to Virginia Beach for a family reunion. We were driving through Maryland. It was really foggy. My mom wanted to stop, but my dad had been driving for like twelve hours and wanted to just get there.” He looked away.
Olivia watched him swallow. The lump in his throat moved up and down. His jaw clenched.
“It was like all of a sudden the lights went out. We were driving through this fog that was pretty thick, but then suddenly you couldn’t see even the car ahead of you. My dad said he’d get off at the next exit, but we never got the chance. By the time we saw the lights ahead of us, it was too late. He slammed on the brakes, but the tractor trailer behind us couldn’t stop.” Jason looked away, blinking away fresh tears. “The guy said afterward that he didn’t see our brake lights until he was almost right on top of us. Anyway, there was a fifteen-car pile up, and we were right in the middle.”
“My god, Jason, I’m so sorry. You were with them? You didn’t get hurt?”
“It’s so weird. When he slammed on the brakes, the truck came from behind and actually came on top of the car. It crushed them right away.” Tears streaked his face. “I…I guess I got into a ball, you know, wrapped my arms around my knees and ducked my head, like they teach you in school. The truck tires were on both sides, and I guess I passed out. When I came to in the hospital, they told me that it was like there was an angel looking over me. The only part of the car that wasn’t crushed was right where I was, between the tires.”
“You must have been terrified.” instinctively, Olivia reached out and covered his hand with hers.
“I was in shock, I think. They didn’t tell me about my parents until two days later. I kept asking to see them, but they kept me pretty sedated, so really I slept most of the time.” Jason turned away from Olivia, feeling the same sinking feeling in his gut as he had two days after the accident.
“When my granddad got to the hospital, he stayed with me. I remember that. Every time I woke up, he was there, sitting next to my bed. I’d ask him about my parents, and I guess before he could answer, I’d be asleep again, but when I woke up, really woke up…he looked like he got ten years older in the three months since I had seen him. I remember wondering why he looked so old. Then he told me. He said they died instantly.”
“Oh, Jason, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry. That is just… too much.”
“It’s no different than you, really. Your mom is gone, too.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t…like that.” Olivia felt badly for Jason. She stood and stared out at the bog. “She had cancer. She was really sick, but she didn’t come out and tell me until near the end.”
“Cancer sucks. It seems like it’s everywhere,” he said as he walked toward her.
“Yeah. It’s just so unfair, you know? I didn’t know who my dad was, either, so I’m kinda left alone. For the first time ever, I think I’m really lonely. I miss her so much.”
“You didn’t know who your dad was? Were you adopted?” he asked.
“No. My mom had me, but she never told me who my father was. I know now, but I just found out. I mean, she left a note, so I know who he is, but I’m not sure that I want to say anything.” She faced him and saw compassion in his eyes.
“Why don’t you want to say anything? Are you afraid he won’t want you?” he asked.
“No. I’m afraid of what knowing I’m his will do to his family,” she said.
They exchanged a look of understanding.
“A note? Why didn’t your mom just tell you?”
“I don’t think I was supposed to find the note. I sort of went crazy in her room and found it in her box of personal stuff that she kept. She always said she didn’t want me to know until I was older, but—whatever!”
Side by side they made their way back to the lighthouse. Olivia saw Holly in the distance and waved. Holly waved back. Relief was evident in her smile.
“I better go. It looks like everyone is leaving,” Olivia said. She played with a twig she had picked up on the trail. “Thanks for letting me see the bog.”
Jason didn’t want her to go. He had many friends, but none as pretty as Olivia. Beyond being pretty, they had something in common that bound him to her in a way that other kids his age couldn’t understand. “When are you moving again?”
“I’m not sure. Soon, probably,” Olivia said. “Well, I guess I’ll see you ’round then.”
Olivia’s heart sank to the pit of her stomach. He didn’t even ask for my number. I guess he doesn’t like me. Who would? I’m a mess. I shouldn’t have cried. “Yeah, see you ’round.” She forced a smile and turned to walk away.
As she neared Holly, she heard his footfalls behind her.
Her stomach leapt into her throat. Yes!
“Olivia!” he yelled, just as she reached the empty chairs.
She spun around, smiled.
“Wait!” he yelled again. When he reached her he put his hand on her forearm, and once again electricity shot through her.
“Yeah?” she laughed.
“Can I,” he looked at the ocean, “Can I, um, get your number maybe?” Jason couldn’t stand still, his feet moved from side to side as the distance between his question and her answer lengthened. His nerves were on fire.
“Sure.”
“Great!” His eyes lit up. He continued to move from one foot to the other. “Great!”
excitement hung in the air between the two. “Oh, I don’t have a pen,” Olivia said, “Or paper.”
Jack looked around, then pointed his finger up toward the sky and lifted is eyebrows. “You have a phone, right? You have Holly’s phone?”
“
Yeah,” she laughed, “but that won’t help you.”
“Sure it will.” He dug deep into his shorts pocket and pulled out a cell phone. “Text me your number.”
She giggled. “Okay. good idea.” She texted him her cell and home phone numbers, then Holly’s number, then her name.
He laughed as it came through on his phone. “Which one is your number?”
“The first one,” she said. She pointed to the numbers displayed on his phone, “And that’s my number at my house, and I’m moving to Holly’s soon, so, just in case, I gave you her number, too.”
“Olivia Taylor.” He smiled, her name felt good coming out of his mouth. “Jason Forrester.” He put his phone in his pocket. The grin never left his face. “I’ll call you!”
Holly entered Megan’s home with great trepidation. The conversation with Megan’s mother had been difficult. The memories that bombarded her at the sound of her voice—the years that they shared, the laughter and tears— had brought with them the realization that Megan would not be coming back. She was gone. gone! The hole Megan left in Holly’s life was enormous, but the sadness that her mother harbored was inescapable. She practically begged Holly to take care of Megan’s belongings. She said it wasn’t the illness that would hold her back, although it certainly would, it was the idea of seeing Megan’s belongings, smelling her, knowing she wasn’t there—the finality of it. She wanted no part of it. She had pleaded with Holly, and Holly had succumbed.
Holly stood on the landing at the bottom of the stairs, willing herself to walk up to Megan’s room, to begin the process of wrapping up Megan’s life. How do you wrap up a life? How do you fit a friend’s life into tidy little boxes? How was she supposed to go through her friend’s belongings without collapsing from sheer sadness?
Her heart raced as she looked up at the dark stairway. A chill rushed through her body as an image of Megan’s peaceful face, the morning after the ritual, lingered in her mind.
Holly turned away. She wasn’t ready. She stared at the French doors in the living room. Settling her hair behind her ears, she walked slowly toward the door. Her legs shook. She stared out at the bonfire pit and was overcome with loneliness as she spied remnants of their evening—burnt embers, logs half black and charred sitting cockeyed on each other, and—what was that? A bit of color lay in the pit, tucked between two blackened sticks. She cocked her head and squinted, but could not define its shape. She opened the door carefully, as if the noise might make the item flee. She walked toward the colored object and bent down to inspect it more closely.
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