by Nicole Reed
Walking arm and arm with Trent, I can sense Dray behind us. I already hate this new awareness that I feel towards him. He’s always been the third wheel when all three of us are together, but before, I didn’t care where he stood, physically and emotionally. Now, it’s wreaking havoc inside me.
We reach the entrance, and I see Madison hailing a cab. As she opens the door, she turns back and notices me. I can see the tears trailing down her cheeks as she raises her hand to wipe them away. She frowns at me, shaking her head. I start towards her, but she slips into the car and drives away. Tears well in my own eyes, but I don’t let them fall. I compel them back into the emptiness where my heart should be. I’m so sad.
Minutes later, I hear my name being called.
“Kylie. Here is your coat and bag. Do you need me to get anything else for you?” Dray stands before me, finally acknowledging my existence.
Shaking my head, I accept my items and reach for my phone to text my car service to pick us up.
Placing his arm around my shoulders to comfort me, Trent asks, “Are you okay? I can take you home if you’d rather not grab something to eat. I can scrounge up something at your place for food and you can catch me up on you.”
Looking at him, I shake my head. This is why I love this man. He’s probably been on a plane for God knows how long, and he would forgo what he wants, including his favorite greasy food, because he knows I’m upset. As the car arrives, I grab his hand to pull him with me.
“I need massive amounts of carbohydrates to cheer me up and make me happy.”
Laughing at me, he replies, “Well, Little Lady. I know just the place.”
Dray follows us as we pile in the car, and of course, I get stuck in the middle between them both. I slide as far towards Trent as I can, without looking suspect. Trent asks Dray about his health, and Dray relays the accident, but we skirt around me taking care of him, and Trent, thankfully, doesn’t mention he had to force me to help. It might have started that way, but it sure didn’t end with that same sentiment. He goes on to fill the silence by talking about the football season so far.
While we eat, Trent asks me about Aunt Leigh and wants to know how she is feeling. I tell him that I’m going to visit tomorrow and stay with her if she’ll let me, to which he offers to tag along. Again, my eyes fly to Dray’s, but he isn’t even paying us any attention. I guess Trent is used to Dray and I ignoring one another. It’s been our modem for operation since the beginning, so nothing has changed.
After we all stuff ourselves, it’s late, and the car takes me home first. Trent offers to walk me up, but I decline when Dray finally speaks up again.
“Go ahead, Man. Take your time and catch up. I’m just going to stay here and read over some of my emails,” he nonchalantly says while pulling his phone out and ignoring us.
I want to kick him in the balls. I want him to hurt and feel discarded as much as I do, but I don’t dare show it. In fact, I don’t say anything as I step over him to get out of the car, purposely planting my knee in his crotch and bearing my entire weight down.
He grunts in pain and mutters, “What the fuck, Kylie?”
Ignoring him, I fling myself out of the car about as un-lady like as possible. I reach behind me to pull my dress out of the way before slamming the door in his face. Through the window, I feel his eyes on me, and mentally, I threaten myself not to look back at him. Let him have the last look he will ever have of me.
Letting myself into my building, we walk up the stairs to my apartment and hear the sound of Jonsie’s barking. Trent immediately goes to his cage to let him out.
“Hey, Buddy. Long time no see. You want me to take you out?” He scratches him under the chin and holds him close. “Hey, Ky. I’m going to take him for a walk.”
“Thanks. I’m going to get out of this dress right quick.” Walking into my bedroom, I kick my shoes off and slip out of the dress. I’ll have to send it off to be professionally cleaned and pray that it works. Sliding some shorts and old soft tee on, I walk into my bathroom to freshen up. Taking my time, I scrub my face clean and brush my hair out. Glaring at my reflection in the mirror, my heart is demolished between Dray and Madison. She believes I’ve betrayed her and he believes I’m going to run back to being how I was before with Trent. One entire day, has completely ruined the happiness I have felt these last couple of months. Half an hour later, with my thoughts still heavy, I stroll into the living room to fall back on my couch.
“I gave him some fresh water.” Trent says as he sits right beside me. Turning his head towards me, he says, “Don’t sweat the whole Madison situation. She loves you, and you know she can’t stay mad at you.”
Leaning my head back against the cushions, I look at the ceiling and reply, “I know. It’s just that I really hurt her. I hate myself for that.”
Side by side, we sit in silence. Usually it’s a comfortable camaraderie, but there is something different now. Glancing at him, he pulls his unruly hair out of the rubber band then ties it back again, a distinct action that he repeats when he is nervous about something. It usually takes him a couple of seconds before he confides whatever it is to me. Usually, it’s about somebody new he’s met and he wants to talk about her. “Great,” I sarcastically think to myself. Thoughts of mine and Aunt Leigh’s conversation filter through my mind. I know that I need to confess my feelings for him, but not tonight. Not when Dray is waiting outside. It diminishes what I feel for Trent and makes me feel - whorish.
“Kylie, we need to talk.”
“Yeah, we do,” I agree.
“I didn’t want to do this tonight. It’s not the time or place, but I want you to go to bed tonight and think about something.” His eyes rove over my face. “You know, even without makeup and the dressy clothes, you are the most beautiful woman to me.”
I’ve always known that he prefers the natural look, which I automatically do for him. “I know, Nature Boy.” I joke back.
Staring intently at me, he asks, “What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Do you want to run your aunt’s boutique?” Reaching for my hands, he continues, “Was that her dream or is it yours?”
“What’s with twenty questions?”
“Please answer me.” His eyes plead with mine.
“I don’t know. I do know Aunt Leigh wouldn’t care what I did with it as long as it made me happy.” Thinking over the past several years, I answer honestly, “I’ve recently came to a crossroads in my life where I realize that I do love my shop, but I may have other plans and dreams for myself.”
He hangs his head down and looks up with a big smile, “Man, Kylie. I’m so glad to hear you say that.”
Where is he going with this?
Standing, he starts to pace in front of me, waving his arms about. “I’ve had all these crazy ideas running through my head for the last year.” Stopping, he looks intently at me and drops to his knees directly in front of me, putting us at eye level. “I need you.”
He needs me. He needs me? My hearts goes up my throat and lodges tightly. His eyes sparkle with excitement, and I can see that his body almost vibrates with anticipation. For me? For what he is trying to say?
“I need you on my team,” he says on an exhale. “I need to take Clean Water Project to the next level. With your brain and business connections, and my expertise and knowledge, we can do it! Together.” He finishes then smiles at me. A team?
“What?” I look deep into his eyes and ask. I’m confused.
“Think of all the people we can help together.”
What he is saying penetrates my little bubble. POP! Oh. I try to reclaim my bearings. Looking away, he shakes his head then turns back to me.
“I’m rushing this. I planned on wooing you and going slow, but I’m just so excited over the prospect of what we can do.” Standing, he pulls me up so that our bodies are awkwardly aligned. “Just sleep on it, okay?” For the first time, my body doesn’t recognize his. Not like it used to.
“Okay,” I au
tomatically reply.
My answer seems to placate him, as he nods his head. He stares into my eyes, and once more, I see something. Something that he hides and has always held back from me. Internal hope springs inside me, rushing through my body. He raises his hand to brush the hair back from my face, placing it around my ear and leaving his large hand to cradle my cheek. Our eyes lock onto each other. His warm touch stirs something deep within me, different from Dray, but just as strong.
Moving his mouth so close to mine that we are only a breath away, he asks, “What am I going to do with you?”
Having an out of body experience, my mind goes over everything that has happened today and every word he just said to me. Feeling confused and exhausted from his and Dray’s emotional whiplash, I step back. I’m so tired, and at this moment in time, I don’t want him. Not like this. I watch that look in his eyes disappear again, and then confusion sets in. I can’t help but think, “What’s new?”
“Night, Trent.” I look into his eyes, waiting for him to leave.
Fast as lightening, he brings his mouth to mine, consuming me. His lips grind against mine as his tongue invades my mouth. My body awakens, but slowly. It’s not the quick fire that Dray ignites. Dray. Pushing him away from me, I have to know something.
“Did you tell Dray about your plan for us to be some grand team?” We both pant heavily, staring at each other.
Narrowing his eyes at me, he answers, “Actually, I did. Is that a problem?”
“No, I just thought he was acting weird tonight and I...”my voice trails off.
“And what? Why would Dray care about what we do?” He looks out the window, “Speaking of Dray, I need to get downstairs. Think about everything. There’s more that we’ll discuss later.” He starts to walk away when he turns back and places his hands on his hips. Searching my eyes with his, he quietly says, “I don’t regret that kiss. Do you?”
I start to say no, but I pause. Part of me is scared to death that there will never be another, and then, the other wants to scream at him for causing me to compare it to someone else’s kiss. Someone, whose lips, I have no business knowing. “Ask me tomorrow,” I reply, swallowing the bitterness in my voice.
Nodding his head, he says, “Goodnight.”
As soon as I hear the downstairs door close, I run to the window. Dray is standing against the car as Trent saunters over. Trent says something to him and clasps Dray’s shoulder. After more brief words, Trent climbs into the car. I watch as Dray stands there by himself, hanging his head and rubbing his eyes. My heart stops, and every molecule inside of me cries out for him. He looks directly up at the window, and I step closer, wanting him to see me. I press my hand flat against the windowpane wanting to touch him, but whatever I’m offering, he rejects as he looks away and follows Trent into the car to drive away.
What’s left of my heart crumbles to the floor along with the tears that I’m not going to waste after tonight. Letting it out, I think back over these past couple of months. I’ve learned to let loose a little, well a lot in bed. I had fun. It took my mind off of Trent and Aunt Leigh’s sickness. I discovered that Dray wasn’t as big of a dick as I previously thought. No, I learned he is just a broken man, one that I obviously can’t fix, or be worth fixing for.
Now, Trent just kissed me. He talks about being a working team, but that kiss had nothing to do with work. This is my time, my chance, to be with Trent who I’ve waited forever for. I don’t want to waste another minute of my life on waiting. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and give Trent everything I’ve got. But tonight, well tonight, I’m going to mourn what I’ve lost. A little piece of my heart.
Is this night ever going to end? I ask myself for the ten-millionth time, looking over at the clock and reading 4:00 A.M. in red. I stare up at the ceiling as the moon shines bright through the windows and Jonsie snores on the pillow beside me. The white plaster hasn’t changed within the last hour I’ve been in bed. Not that it should, but I almost wish that it would come crashing down on me. Maybe it could knock some sense into my head. I should be lying here thinking of Trent and how I am going to reveal my feelings and dream of him returning them while he kisses me again. Instead, I’m dreaming of beautifully-sculpted brown skin contrasting against my light skin. Of Dray’s hands on me – in me.
Groaning, I turn over and punch my pillow. Why? The sound of a door opening downstairs has me sitting up; however, my heart rate slightly rests when I hear the sound of the alarm code being punched in, indicating someone I know. I hope. Jumping up, I scare Jonsie to death as I run to the window and look outside seeing Dray’s car parked alongside my building. The sound of heavy footsteps pounding up the steps has my heart racing again along with Jonsie’s barking.
Wait, Trent doesn’t have a car. They both have my code and keys, which I haven’t changed in years like a dummy. Trent has them since he stayed with me in the past, and Dray only received them when we started sleeping together. His booty calls were usually late at night, and him having keys meant I didn’t have to stay up in case he couldn’t show. I’m almost sure it’s Dray, but what if?
From my room, I glance down the windowless hallway where a dark shadow appears at the very end. He freezes. I can’t see who it is, but my body already knows. Sexual heat spreads fast as the anger blooms deep. Shaking, from either uncontrollable lust or unbounded anger, I move to sit back on my bed, trying to control something that I know I have no power to govern.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“Sex.”
“I’m sure you can get that anywhere.”
“Yes, but we have an agreement. No strings attached. No commitments. We both are unattached adults.” Light from my bedroom finally slashes across his brutally handsome face when he takes a few steps forward. “Unless that has changed?”
The answer to his questions swirls around my head. I don’t have a relationship with Trent. Trent hasn’t been waiting on me all these years. In fact, up until tonight, I didn’t even think he thought about me that way. I have to ask Dray.
“What about Trent?” His eyebrow raises over one eye.
“What about Trent? Did you two work something out tonight? If so, I’ll leave. No hard feelings.” Stopping inches from me, he whispers, “But if not, then I thought we could continue our thing. As long as it feels good.”
I want to tell him to go to Hell. I want to push him back down the hallway and throw him down the stairs. That is what I want, but what I do, is totally different.
“Damn you,” I say right before I stand to push him hard against the wall beside my door. The impact causes a picture to fall from its place, crashing loudly beside me. My fist hits his chest once. I uncurl my hands, sliding them up and around his shoulders, linking them behind his neck to force his mouth to mine. My mouth punishes his, biting and licking, as I try to express how much I hate him. Can’t stand him.
We both moan into each other’s mouth. He hasn’t made a move yet, not even to touch me. Bringing my arms back to his chest, I shove hard against him once more, separating us. His massive body hits the wall again, and he lays his head back, thudding it behind him. His hungry eyes never leave mine.
“I don’t want to make love to you.” My shocking plea comes out in a breathy whisper, intertwining with our heavy panting. What did I just say to him?
“When have you ever? What we do has nothing to do with love,” his deep voice says softly. “Does it, Kylie?” His intense gaze belies the true meaning of his question.
Sifting his fingers through my hair, he grasps the silky ends, tugging my head back. Staring into my eyes, he still doesn’t make a move to touch me. It makes me furious, my entire body vibrates with anger. We have nothing to do with love. We never have.
“What?” I ask silkily. “I didn’t think this would be a solitary performance. I don’t need you for that.” Backing up from him, I reach for the hem of my shirt and lift, slowly pulling it off. Not turning from him, I back up to sit on my bed. I remove my shorts and
panties, feeling drunk on the lust running rampant in the room and the feeling of being in control. His gaze leaves mine to roam down my body, stopping only to appreciate my diamond studded bellybutton piercing. I scoot my butt back, planting my feet on top of the bed and spreading my legs open with my knees bent, letting him view my glistening pussy.
“After the way you treated me yesterday, I don’t think I should share this anymore.” I run my fingers up my inner thigh and allow my head to fall back. I circle my vagina then press two fingers tightly against my clit. My wetness coats the tips, and I smear it all around. Knowing how much he loves the flavor of me, the thought crosses my mind to taste myself. I’m already drowning in a haze of lust and the image of licking my fingers turns me on. Lifting my hand, I see Dray’s eyes lock onto my fingers. I never knew that desire could be a living breathing creature, but I’m a believer as I imagine the invisible animal wrapping its claws gently around Dray as I watch his face tighten with need. His body trembles as if the imaginary beast breathes against his neck. I moan thinking about my pretend pet.