by T. K. Chapin
I said over my shoulder, “Not really.”
He stopped. “Huh? What’s ‘not really’ mean?”
My temper sparked in my tone. “It’s personal.”
Raising his hands, he said, “Sorry. I was just curious. You never talk about your life and I thought we were friends—”
“You thought wrong. Keep it professional.” Wheeling away, I immediately regretted my quick-tempered reaction. Quickening my speed toward the house, I figured he’d jump in his car and leave, but he didn’t. He caught up to me as I reached the door.
“Winston,” he said.
My hand stopped mid-way to the doorknob. I turned around and waited for him to continue.
“You know, I had a cousin that hired your team years ago. It was the reason I accepted the offer to be your physical therapist. She said you were the kindest guy she’d ever met. Kind of sparked my interest to see what was going on. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed the other physical therapists were just jerks.” Sighing, disappointment filled his eyes. “I don’t know the guy she met, but it’s definitely not you.” He held out a hand as he spelled out my infractions. “You’re cold, distant, rude and unkind.”
“Jeremy, I—”
“Save it.” He walked away toward his car. Guilt weighed down my shoulders.
It was abundantly clear that God was showing me just how much my life was being impacted by my poor attitude. I thought I’d freed myself of the resentment, but the bitterness was still there. It wasn’t just my problem inside my soul, and it wasn’t just my relationship with Marie. All aspects of my life had been infected with the poison I’d allowed to consume me. With a heavy heart, I prayed for God to heal me on the inside.
Chapter 46-Marie
WHEN SERENAH ARRIVED HOME AT almost eleven o’clock, she asked me if I would be interested in a job at the thrift store after we returned from our trip to Lake Stevens for Thanksgiving. My first reaction was a resounding ‘no’ because of my background and experience as a lawyer. I had spent a great deal of time and money investing in my career, and to go to work for close to minimum wage was borderline offensive. I was almost home when my phone rang—it was Serenah.
“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to offend you with that job offer …” Her tone rang with regret.
“Oh, no, it’s fine. I was a little shocked, but I appreciate you asking. I’m going to pray about it. Life is more than just dollar signs and arguing litigation, right?”
“Okay. Thanks again for the help today with Em. Charlie thanks you, too.”
“It was a pleasure spending time with your cute little girl.”
“Good. I think she had fun, too. See you tonight at Bible study?”
“See you tonight!”
When I arrived home, I found Winston sitting in the front room in front of a blank TV screen. There was an odd feeling in the air.
“Winston?” I said gently as I entered the room.
He nodded slightly, but his eyes didn’t meet mine; they stayed fixed on the blank television screen.
“What’s wrong?”
“Have I really changed?”
“What?” I asked, setting my purse down. I sat on the coffee table near him and grabbed his hand. “What do you mean have you changed?”
His gaze met mine. They glistened, as if he’d been crying. “Am I different now from the way I was before the accident?”
What I wanted to say was ‘night and day different,’ but I knew that wouldn’t do any good. He needed love and encouragement, but he also needed the truth. “Winston, you are still you, but yes, you’re different.”
“How?”
“You’ve lost something.”
He laughed bitterly and looked down his legs. “Yeah I have.”
Sliding off the coffee table, I knelt beside him. “No, I’m not talking about your legs. I’m talking about a part of you on the inside. You lost it, but I feel like you’ve been finding it again.”
He adjusted in his wheelchair, obviously uncomfortable with my words. “What do you mean I lost it?”
“You used to talk about God all the time …” Looking to the floor, I felt bad for the ways I had persecuted Winston for his faith. “You were so full of life, so happy.”
“Honestly, Marie, I don’t know how to get back to my old self. I’ve been trying, but I have so much pent up anger and frustration still inside of me.” He moved his hands to his legs, resting them near his kneecaps. “I thought if I could get these legs working again, I could get me working again.”
“You’re still you, Winston,” I said, palming his face. “I love you. It doesn’t matter to me if you ever walk again. I’m just so glad you’re alive and I get to spend more of my life with you by my side. Besides, it’s Christ who we identify with, not what we can do.”
He swallowed hard, his eyes almost welling with tears. I knew he wouldn’t cry in front of me, but knowing that my words had touched him was satisfaction enough. He was changing. He hadn’t quite morphed into his old self yet, but he was becoming a new version. I could see it and hope soared within me.
Chapter 47-Marie
ARRIVING A COUPLE MINUTES LATE to the Bible study, I stood at the front door shoulder to shoulder with a lady who was also late. After we knocked and waited for someone to answer, she said, “Kids … They hang onto your ankles for dear life when you gotta go somewhere without them.”
I laughed. “I remember that with my son. My reason for being late is because we’re heading out of town for Thanksgiving tomorrow and I was busy doing all the packing.”
“Where are you going?”
“To my husband’s parents’ house near Seattle.”
“Oh, fun.”
Serenah opened the door. “You don’t have to knock, silly gals!”
I could hear Christian music playing in the background and lots of chattering women in the living room. Taking off my jacket, I hung it up along with my purse and went into the living room. Everybody looked cozy and comfortable as they sat with their cups of coffee and tea. From what I could tell from the snippets of conversation, they shared stories about their home life over the course of the last week.
“Teddy’s really struggling with switching to nights. He seems like a zombie during the day.”
“That will happen. My husband was a police chief for years, and when he’d work the night shifts, he’d have this zombie-like look on his face the next day. I didn’t care for it one bit.”
I joined the group and we continued to chat about anything and everything for another twenty minutes and then Serenah stood up and got everybody’s attention.
“We’d better get something done tonight or our husbands will wonder what we did.”
We all laughed.
“Turn in your study guide to page twenty-four.”
The title of tonight’s study was The Samaritan Woman.
After reading our Bible and the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman, we started discussing the questions presented in the study guide, starting with the first one: What was so special about the Samaritan woman?
“Go ahead,” Serenah said, pointing out the lady I had been standing with outside.
“I believe the fact that the Jews and Samaritans didn’t associate with one another was a big one.”
“That’s true,” Serenah replied. “But what was Jesus showing us by taking this time to speak with them?”
Another woman raised a hand and Serenah called on her.
“He showed us that we don’t need to let worldly rules or traditions dictate how we act. We should allow Him to control how we act.”
“Very good answer,” Serenah replied. She continued. “What did this woman do after she spoke with Jesus?”
A lady raised her hand. “Went to the city and told people.”
Serenah nodded. “Exactly. It says in John 4:39, ‘Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony …’ This woman was the very first
evangelist for Christ in the recorded word of God. How neat is that?”
As Serenah went on to talk about the role of women during that time, I thought about how nervous the Samaritan woman must’ve been to speak to the men of the town. Not only was she a woman, but she was a prostitute. Surveying the faces of the women of God sitting before me, I felt inferior. These were women who had been serving God most likely for years. I had been serving Him not even a week.
As the study came to the close and everyone said their goodbyes, I was on my way out the door when Serenah stopped me.
“Thanks for coming tonight.”
“You’re welcome. It was fun. Thanks for inviting me.”
“You okay?” she asked, tilting her head as if she could read my mind.
I shrugged. “Tonight was a little intimidating. I’m pretty new at this Christian thing.”
She touched my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. We all worship the same God, the same Holy Spirit. These women have a lot of wisdom you’ll be able to learn from. You just keep coming back.”
Smiling warmly at her, I said, “Have a good night.”
Chapter 48-Winston
BY THE TIME WE LANDED in Seattle the next day and were waiting for our luggage to arrive on the carousel, I was already exhausted from the trip. Getting through security was difficult, and boarding and everything else in between was beyond exhaustive. I did my best to keep my displeasure hidden from Marie, as I was feeling increasingly guilt-ridden by the way I had been treating people and wanted to change desperately.
“You sure you’re okay?” Marie asked again as I grabbed my suitcase from the conveyor belt and pulled it onto my lap. “I know you said you were fine earlier, but I’m just sensing it’s not the truth.”
Leaning back into my wheelchair, I glanced up at her. “I’m just tired. The whole process of traveling was …”
“Difficult?” she offered.
“Yes.” I felt like she understood.
Her purple suitcase came down the line a moment later and she grabbed it. Glancing at my watch, I knew my parents were probably right outside waiting for us inside the warmth of their car. They were elderly, and the unusually cold fall season in Seattle was a struggle for them, according to my father this morning on the telephone.
We traversed through the airport and out to the loading zone to find their old Buick right away, parked just outside the doors.
When I saw my dad get out of the car and our gazes connected, I recalled his visit to me in the hospital not long ago. He had shed a few tears at that time. That was the first and only time I had ever seen my dad show even the slightest bit of pain in front of me. Coming up to me on the sidewalk, he shook my hand and said, “Son, so good to see you!”
“Hey, Pops.”
He took the suitcase off my lap and then proceeded to lean in for a hug. It was strange for him to hug, since we only had ever done handshakes, but I guess we were at hugs now. In that hospital room when he and Mom had visited, he must have hugged me over two dozen times during the three days they were there.
“You might be old, but your energy is that of a thirty-year-old, Pops.”
Releasing him, I saw my mom through the window sitting in the passenger seat of the Buick. She rolled the window down as my dad hugged Marie.
“Hello, son,” my mother said, beaming. “I’d get out if it wasn’t so cold.”
“It’s fine and hello, Mother,” I replied with a grin.
“I’m so happy you changed your mind about coming. We have a big surprise back at the house for you. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
Raising an eyebrow at her comment, I was very curious.
Chapter 49-Marie
ARRIVING IN OUR ROOM THAT overlooked Lake Stevens, I dropped our suitcases as I caught the view of the lake. Though we had been to this same house countless times over the years, it still left me in awe every time I lay my eyes upon the gorgeous lake views.
“Oh, Winston …” I said, as I strolled to the large windows and peered out through the drizzle of rain. “It’s so beautiful and the rain is so calming. Thank you. I am so glad we are here!”
He wheeled to my side and looked out at the lake. “It’s a lot of water.”
I laughed lightly, then turned to him. “Isn’t that sweet that your parents installed that stair lift for you on the stairs?”
“Sure, Marie.” His voice was as tart as a cherry pie.
“What is with you?” I asked, annoyed by his curtness. “You seem bothered.”
Shrugging, he said, “I don’t want to inconvenience people, Marie, and especially my parents. They’re so old and on a fixed income since my dad’s retirement. I feel bad they spent so much money on that lift.”
My heart warmed at his openness and I placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t feel bad about it, Winston. They want to be helpful and make you comfortable, that’s all.”
“That stair lift costs more than their car. Trust me, I’ve researched it. Plus, when we’re not here the rest of the year it’s a useless hunk of metal attached to their wall.” He rubbed a hand over his face.
“It doesn’t matter. Having you here is priceless to them. They wanted to do it because you’re their son. Don’t ruin their beautiful gesture by grumbling about the cost.”
He finally smiled. “It was a good surprise, wasn’t it? A lot better than that surprise party at the club that night.”
“Party?” I asked, tilting my head. “And that wasn’t their surprise.”
“Wait. That wasn’t the surprise? Then what is it? Do you know what it is, Marie? Please tell me.”
I planted my fists upon my hips. “Tell me about this party you just mentioned.”
Letting out a sigh, Winston looked around the room to avoid my eyes and then looked back at me resigned. “Remember that night Bruce picked me up for that job?”
“Yes.”
“Well…” Winston rubbed his neck, and his gaze shifted to the window overlooking the lake again. “There was no job. It was a setup for a surprise party. Everybody from WIN was there along with clients.”
“How’d I not know about it?”
“It was a work thing, I guess.”
“So, wait, you left your own party early to come to the church dinner?”
His shoulders sagged. “Yeah, I kind of freaked out. I did send everybody an apology email the other day … But I don’t know if that’s enough.”
My heart hurt for Winston. He had been holding this in. I waited for him to tell me more, but when a moment passed and he clamped his mouth shut, I got down on my knees in front of him and touched his hands. “You can talk to me.”
He struggled for a second to proceed, but then let out another sigh. “It was bad, Marie. I freaked out about them all celebrating my being out of the hospital. I felt like the whole thing was ridiculous.”
Rubbing his hands, I said, “They were probably happy you didn’t die …”
“I know, but at the time I felt so exposed and inferior … I don’t know … I just really wasn’t happy with being on stage that way. You know?” I could see tears hiding in his eyes, and he tried his hardest to hold them in.
“I understand.” Bringing my hands up to his face, I held his cheeks between my palms. “You’re an amazing man, Winston. You might not have the use of your legs, but your heart is big and strong. With a heart like yours, you can do so much for your fellow man.”
“Thank you, Marie.”
“Let’s go find your surprise!”
Chapter 50-Winston
HAVING REVEALED THE DETAILS ABOUT the surprise party to Marie, it felt like a heavy burden was now off my shoulders. Why I had waited to tell her baffled me. I had always told her the truth, never keeping anything from her. In my heart, I knew not having secrets was one of the reasons we had been able to stay married over the years. It was part of the horizontal relationship we had with one another that deepened our intimacy and kept our hearts close to each other. Though
we had always been on pretty good terms in our relationship, I always gave and will always give all the credit for the ultimate success of our marriage to my vertical relationship with God. God’s love taught me selflessness which I found vital for a healthy marriage.
Wheeling into the hallway, I went to the stairs and started down on the lift.
When the living room came into view. I saw him.
My son, Gregory.
My eyes watered, and my lips trembled.
My throat clenched as the lift stopped.
He was standing beside a woman I assumed was his wife, and there in my son’s arms was my grandbaby.
The lift clicked into place at the bottom of the stairwell and I glanced up the stairs at Marie. Crying, she covered her mouth, trying to contain her excitement and joy.
I was still in shock as I wheeled through the foyer into the living room. Was he a dream? No. This man was made of flesh and blood. Greg was standing right in front of me.
“Hey, Dad. I want you to meet my wife Molly and your granddaughter Erin.”
Waving to Molly, I said, “I’d hug you, but I want to hold this baby first.”
Laughing, she said, “I understand.”
Holding out my arms, I lifted baby Erin from her father. I had only seen her in photographs and heard about her in a brief conversation at her birth. My eyes watered as I held her little body in my hands. The pictures didn’t do her justice; she was positively angelic and maybe the sweetest thing I’ve ever held in my arms.
“Hi, Erin. I’m your grandpa, Winston.” Playing with her fingers, I smiled and laughed as she smiled at me.
My son leaned close. “I hope you’re not too upset with me, Dad.”
I shook my head and my heart broke when a muscle quivered in his jaw. “I love you, son. There’s nothing that you could do to keep me upset with you. Thank you for coming.” Reaching up, I pulled his head toward me and kissed his cheek.
When Marie stepped forward, I held baby Erin out for her to see, to touch. Her face radiated with joy as she touched the baby’s head of hair, then her toes and little fingers. Glancing over at my mom and dad, my eyes welled with tears. I understood them a little more in that moment.