The Art of Reading Minds

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The Art of Reading Minds Page 10

by Henrik Fexeus


  The movement of the eyebrows also means that vertical wrinkles between the eyebrows will be created or deepened and that the inner corners of the upper eyelids will be raised and acquire a triangular look. Some people will raise their eyebrows very discreetly. It can be such a slight difference that it is invisible, particularly if the person is trying to hide the expression. But the triangle in the eyelids will still be evident. So if you’re not sure, you can always check for that. The opposite holds, too: if you see the triangle in the eyelids of someone who seems to be in a neutral mood otherwise, it’s a sure sign that he is starting to feel sad or that he is very sad but trying to hide it as best he can by controlling his facial expression. Apart from this, the eyelids of somebody sad will hang down lower than otherwise. This movement is most often seen alongside the expression in the rest of the face, but it can be displayed alone, like in the picture.

  Sadness: lower eyelids

  If the sadness is particularly deep, the lower eyelids will also be affected and tense up.

  Sadness: mouth

  A sad mouth is often confused with the expression used to show contempt. The corners of a sad mouth will point down, and the lower lip might be protruded as we pout. Wrinkles can appear in the skin of the chin. The difference is that when we feel dislike or contempt, our upper lip is raised. Even if the corners of the mouth are turned down, we don’t pout with our lower lip when expressing contempt. If only a sad mouth is visible, as in the picture, it’s actually impossible to know what the person is really feeling. This is one of the few occasions when a single element of a facial expression isn’t enough to tell you what the underlying emotion is.

  Sadness: looking down

  In this picture there is a new characteristic. Lowered eyes are often seen in sad people. Of course, we look down several times a day without necessarily feeling sad, but if we do so while displaying the sad eyebrows, as in the picture, the signs are very clear. Something else that can often happen is for the cheeks to be raised, which makes the eyes narrower than usual.

  If someone who isn’t sad is pretending to be, she will show it in the lower regions of the face, particularly the mouth, and by looking down. The lack of any signs of sadness in the eyes, eyebrows, and forehead are a good indication that this is a false emotion. (Unless you’re dealing with one of those rare people who don’t use that part of the face to express sorrow, of course. They do exist, but there aren’t many of them.) In order to make sure that it’s a genuine expression, you should start by looking for the triangular shape in the upper eyelids.

  If someone is feeling sad but trying to hide it, she will generally concentrate on not letting her mouth give her away. The “triangular eye,” and usually the eyebrows as well, will still be there for you to recognize.

  Anger

  The most common reason we get angry is because something or somebody is stopping us from doing what we want to do, when there’s somebody in our way. And we get angrier still if the obstacle is meant for us personally. But we can also become frustrated when things don’t work the way they should, which is actually just another case of things getting in our way.

  We also get angry with ourselves sometimes. Another triggering cause could be violence or threats of violence. That can make us both angry and scared. Of course, we also get angry when people act in ways we disapprove of or let us down. We don’t feel pure anger for particularly long—it tends to get mixed up with some other emotion, like fear or contempt. Anger is the most dangerous emotion, as it can make us try to harm the person we’re angry with, physically or emotionally. The urge to want to hurt others arises when we are very young and is something we all have to learn to control as we grow up.

  Anger: complete expression, two versions

  “I told you to stop hitting your ­brother!”

  So what is getting angry good for, then? Anger activates us and motivates us to change the thing that has angered us. The problem is to understand just what it was that made us so angry in the first place. Often, we direct our anger toward the wrong things. Taking action when you’re angry is almost always a foolish thing to do. When you’re angry, everything is interpreted and perceived through that anger. Actually, in these situations, the best thing to do is to shut up and not act at all, until the emotion starts to fade and we become capable of a more nuanced perception of things again.

  If we are exposed to any kind of threat, anger can help, too, since it limits fear, and fear can stop you cold. Getting angry will make you deal with the threat instead.

  Apart from the other expressions, anger requires a change in all three facial areas. Otherwise, we can’t tell if the person is experiencing anger or something else.

  Anger: eyebrows

  When we get angry, our eyebrows contract and are lowered. Lines can appear between the eyebrows, but the forehead won’t wrinkle. If you see this motion occur on its own, that could mean several different things: the person is angry but trying to hide it; the person is slightly annoyed or starting to get angry; the person is serious or concentrating; the person is confused.

  If somebody does this while you’re speaking to her, and you haven’t just introduced a difficult problem to her, it’s a sign you may need to explain yourself more clearly, since she obviously has to concentrate hard to follow what you’re saying. Darwin called the muscle responsible for this contraction the “muscle of difficulty.” It seems as though we use it anytime we’re confronted with something difficult or incomprehensible.

  Anger: eyes and eyelids

  When we’re angry, the eyelids tense up and the eyes become set in a piercing stare. The lower eyelid can be more or less raised, depending on how angry you are. Thanks to the downward pressure from the eyebrow, the upper eyelid looks like it’s been lowered, which makes the eyes narrower. If somebody displays these eyes and nothing else, it could mean contained anger, but it could also mean the person is trying to focus or concentrate. Even if the telltale shapes of both eyes and eyebrows are present, the expression could still be one of concentration as well as anger. But when the eyes tense up, it’s usually a case of visual concentration more specifically, like when we need to focus our vision on something. To make sure it actually is anger, we also have to be able to see the mouth.

  Anger: two different kinds of angry mouths

  There are two kinds of angry mouths. The closed one, with the lips pressed together, is used for physical attacks (in a fight) or when you are trying to hold back something you really want to say. Then there is the open mouth, which is used (often loudly) for letting everybody know how angry you are.

  If only the mouth is displayed, it’s hard to say what it means. A closed mouth can indicate slight anger, or controlled anger, but, just like the eyebrows, it could also indicate concentration or exertion. This time, it’s not a case of mental exertion, however. It is physical, like when you lift something heavy.

  But the closed, tight mouth is one of the first signs to appear when somebody begins to get angry. It’s easy to see the whole jaw section tense up. Often we will display this even before we’ve noticed that we’re getting angry.

  It’s hard to know if anger is faked, since the expression uses muscles that are easy to control consciously, and everybody knows how to do it. For once, we also tend to remember to use the eyebrows when we fake this emotion. To determine if it’s fake, you need to look at timing instead. Is the expression simultaneous with the words or actions, or is it delayed? Anger is actually the best mask to wear to hide another emotion, because we lock up our whole faces, leaving only the eyebrows as clues to our true emotional states. Fortunately, we live in a culture where walking around wearing an angry face all day doesn’t help you much, even though some people seem to try. If somebody is angry but tries to hide it, his anger will show through in the tension of his eyelids, his stare, or his contracted eyebrows.

  Fear

  Fear is the emotion we know the most about, for the simple reason that it is easy to make animals
frightened in experiments. Fear is triggered by a danger of harm, physical or emotional. Examples of things that trigger fear are objects moving quickly toward us, or when we lose our footing and fall, both literally and metaphorically. Threats of pain, like knowing you have to go to the dentist, can trigger fear, too. Most, but not all, of us are easily frightened by snakes and reptiles, or of the thought of losing our footing at heights.

  In biological terms, fear prepares us for either hiding or running away. Blood flows into the larger muscles in our legs, preparing us to run if we need to. If we don’t run, we try to hide. But hiding means doing it the same way animals do, like deer freezing in headlights. That might seem like a strange way to react, but it makes sense, as predators with bad eyesight can’t make you out if you don’t move. When we say we’re going “numb with fear,” it’s really about hiding.

  Fear: complete expression

  “What? One Direction is back together?”

  If we can neither run nor hide, it is very likely our fear will turn into anger instead. So in other words, if the command that orders the nervous system to prepare for flight or hiding doesn’t seem useful, we will switch it for one that mobilizes us for action. In order to deal with the situation, we get angry with whatever has threatened us. Our facial expressions when we’re afraid signal two things: “There is danger nearby; be careful” and “HEEEELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!” In this case, it’s a good thing we have our facial expressions, because speech often fails us when we get strongly emotional about something. As Winnie the Pooh’s friend Piglet put it, “Help, help, a Herrible Hoffalump! Hoff, hoff, a Hellible Horralump! Holl, holl, a Hoffable Hellerump!”

  Fear: eyebrows

  The eyebrows are raised but stay straight when we display fear. So, as with surprise, the eyebrows are raised but also contracted, which makes the inside corners come closer together than in surprise. They aren’t as raised as with surprise, either.

  Wrinkles appear in the forehead, too, even though in cases of fear they most often won’t go all the way across the forehead. If the eyebrows display without the other facial signals, they signify concern or controlled fear. Now, in this picture, my whole face looks worried, but it is a montage, where everything below the eyebrows is from the original neutral picture.

  Fear: eyes

  The eyes are open and tense. Just as with surprise, the upper eyelids are raised, so we can see the whites of the eyes, but in this case, the lower eyelids are tensed up, instead of being opened, and can cover a portion of the iris. Often, the tense eyes and the raised eyebrows are displayed together (as shown in this case), or with both the eyebrows and the mouth, but they can appear on their own. If that happens, it will be very quick and is an indication of a genuine fear that is either moderate or controlled.

  The mouth is open or almost closed. The lips are tense and can be drawn back, as opposed to the more-relaxed mouth we have in surprise. If only the mouth is displayed, it means anxiety or worry. If the closed, fearful mouth is displayed alone, quickly, that can mean you’re afraid and trying not to show it, or that you’re remembering an occasion when you were afraid, or using it as a conscious illustration in the context of a conversation. Like when you go, “Whoa! That was scary.”

  Fear: mouth

  When somebody pretends to be afraid, as usual, chances are she will forget to use her eyebrows and forehead and just use the mouth. She’ll probably also forget to use her eyes.

  If you see just the eyebrows signal fear in somebody’s face, perhaps because she is trying to display a different emotion than fear with the rest of her face, that is actually a sufficient and genuine sign of fear. The only time the forehead and eyebrows aren’t included in a genuine expression of fear would be when it is a matter of truly paralyzing fear, like in cases of shock. Then, only the eyes and mouth are used.

  Disgust

  Follow these instructions: swallow once—now—to make your mouth dry. Wait for a moment, until you feel you’ve produced new saliva. It will probably take a little while. Ready? OK? Now imagine spitting this new saliva into a glass.

  And then drinking it.

  I use this thought experiment, which is inspired by emotions researcher Paul Ekman, when I give lectures. My suggestion is usually met by the facial expression here. Disgust, or revulsion, characteristically involves being repelled by something, like the taste of something you want to spit out right away. Just the thought of eating certain things can make you feel disgust. The same is true of certain smells or the way slimy things feel. Some actions can cause disgust, like mistreating pets or abusing children. The most universal triggers of disgust are actually bodily excretions: feces, bodily fluids, blood, and vomit. The emotion isn’t triggered until they exit the body, like in the saliva test mentioned earlier. As long as the saliva was in your mouth, there were no problems. The only difference between the first and second time I asked you to swallow your saliva was that the second time, it had been outside of your body for a short time. And presto! Now you’re disgusted!

  Disgust doesn’t start happening to us until we are four or five years old, but from that point on, it fascinates us completely. That’s why novelty stores sell fake vomit, why we like movies like Dumb and Dumber and American Pie, and why so many people inspect their handkerchiefs after blowing their noses.

  As adults, we believe ourselves to mostly feel disgust for other people: people who commit moral wrongs, politicians, bullies, and so on. However, what is considered a moral wrong can vary between different cultures and mind-sets.

  Disgust: complete expression, two versions

  “No, really, it’s okay. Everybody gets the stomach flu sooner or later.”

  Disgust is an extremely powerful emotion. Psychologist and researcher John M. Gottman spent fourteen years making videotaped interviews with 650 married couples. He and his colleagues at the “Love Lab” discovered that you can find clues as to whether the relationship will last or not in just three minutes of recorded conversation. One of the strongest clues is disgust. If some unconscious, subtle sign of disgust is displayed, especially on the woman’s part, statistically speaking the couple is not likely to still be married after four years.

  The reason we feel disgust is, naturally, to make us get away from the object of our disgust. One might think that our disgust for blood and bodily waste would have helped us avoid infections, but on the other hand, it has also limited our empathy and social potential. By feeling disgust for other people, we make them less human. This has been (and is still) used to great effect in political and religious propaganda, as we have an easier time being inhuman to people we feel disgust for. Just like in Star Wars. Of course, it’s a lot easier to kill storm troopers by the dozen if you don’t have to see their faces.

  In these two pictures, disgust is displayed in the wrinkling of the nose and the raised upper lip. The lower lip can also be raised and protruded, which results in a closed mouth, or lowered and protruded, which results in an open mouth. In addition to this, wrinkles can appear on the sides of and over the nose. The stronger the disgust is, the more wrinkles will appear. The cheeks will be raised, too, which pushes the lower eyelids up and makes the eyes narrow. This will in turn cause lines and folds under the eyes.

  In cases of strong disgust, the eyebrows will often be lowered, but they’re actually not too important for this emotional expression. Some people interpret the lowered eyebrows as anger, but they’re not contracted at the middle, and the upper eyelids aren’t raised, which they would be if this were a case of anger. If we want to express disgust for something, but aren’t actually feeling disgust at the moment, we will use parts of the expression. Like wrinkling your nose up and saying, “That really stinks! How often do they clean that hamster cage, anyway?” If we use the whole expression consciously, we will keep it in our faces for longer, to make it clear that we are making a conscious illustration.

  Because it is such an obvious expression, disgust is easy to fake, and we often use it for
illustrative purposes in conversations. The forehead and eyebrows aren’t used much in disgust, which means they won’t be missed when somebody fakes it. For this reason, it’s also quite easy to conceal disgust, since it is mostly expressed in the lower part of the face.

  If you’re not sure, look for the wrinkle on the bridge of the nose. It’s usually high up enough in the face to avoid any attempts at control. But most often, we don’t think of trying to hide this emotion in the first place. I don’t think we’re always aware of it in the same way we are of other emotions. When you mention “emotions,” most people think of sadness, love, anger, and things like that. They will seldom think of disgust. So even when we smile with our mouths, any disgust we’re actually feeling will usually have free access to the rest of the face, without us even knowing it.

  Contempt

  Contempt is closely related to disgust. However, there are a number of significant differences between them, both in how we express them and what they mean. Contempt is only felt for other people and for their actions. Unlike disgust, contempt can’t be felt for things. The thought of a techno version of Los del Río’s “Macarena” may cause disgust (come to think about it, fear seems a distinct possibility as well), but not contempt. We may, however, feel contempt for those who choose to use a techno version of “Macarena” as their ringtone. We don’t necessarily feel the need to get away from people we feel contempt for, but we do feel superior to them. Often, this is a sense of moral superiority.

 

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