by T Gephart
“Well, I got bored with your dick—”
“Okay, that is a sentence you can never say ever again.” Max jabbed a finger in my chest, cutting me off before I could continue. “Like for real, Joey. I don’t care about the context. Never. Not unless you want to die.”
“You’re such a fucking pussy.” I blew out a breath wondering why he was being such a sensitive asshole. It’s not like I was asking to see his dick to blue tick it for verification. “Anyway, whatever.”
I tried again; hoping this time the bastard would let me speak.
“I got bored with—”
“Joe.” He warned.
“Someone’s dick, who isn’t you,” I amended, hoping he’d be happy.
“Dear God, please just give me a sign I should let him live.” He shook his head, squeezing the bridge of his nose as I cracked a grin.
“And I found another fan page,” I continued, ignoring him. “This time about me, and not to brag or anything but I had a thousand, two hundred and fifty-three more than yours.”
“Please, if you won’t take him, take me. It’s been good up till now, I’m not sure I want to go any further.” He lifted his arms up to the heavens in mock surrender; his voice bouncing off the ceiling like JC had the actual time to listen to his drama instead of doing important stuff.
“Which is where those girls were taking a fucking poll about my hair.” I scoffed in disbelief, like there couldn’t have been anything else noteworthy that people wanted to talk about. It had to be the lamest, fucking thing. “My hair, dude. On my fucking head.” I truly did not understand it, even explaining it to Max I was still freaking bewildered. “And it’s some asshole I don’t even know.” I hoped for his sake Chace Crawford and I never met up, but seriously there was nothing else?
“You get dick—”
“Jesus.” Max barked out a laugh, his head sinking into his hands.
“—and I get fucking hair. How is that even possible?” And if I hadn’t been masquerading as some chick, I would have totally demanded restitution. Seriously, my cock was fucking amazing.
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say we need to retire BigTits69.” The grin crept onto his mouth. “Nothing good can come of it, in fact everything that does come from it is bad, bad news.” He gave me a tap on the shoulder, clearing his throat before he continued.
“Secondly, I get your life just got dumped on its ass, but I think there are more constructive ways to keep you from burning up the phone lines. Joe, who the fuck gives a shit what they think about your hair? Did you leave Black Addiction and join One Direction?” The last bit making him laugh.
“Fuck. You’re right.” I leaned back into my chair. Even though everyone was dead wrong—and I hated to be compared to whoever this douche monkey was—it shouldn’t matter. I was a drummer for fuck’s sake. What did I care what they thought of my hair?
“Look, why don’t you get changed, I’ll throw on a shirt and we’ll get out of here. Let your friends distract you.” Max’s hand clapped the back of my neck, his voice sincere in that he wanted to help.
“Well, I guess as dumb as it was to get bent over it at least I didn’t call her.” I shrugged, finding a silver lining. Because the whole time I was key tapping, I hadn’t even thought about calling, which had been exactly the plan.
“True.” Max grinned. “See. It wasn’t a total waste.” His hand gave me a little shake before he removed it and popped me in the arm. “We just need to work on a strategy for your downtime. Get you a hobby or something and keep you out of trouble. We can’t have you going all keyboard warrior whenever you need to be distracted.”
“Hey, but all that aside.” I’ll admit I was more than just a little curious. “Did you know about your dick page?”
“Hell, no.” He laughed, “And I’d prefer to forget most of this conversation and never hear about it again.”
“If I were you, I would totally embrace it.” The title and appreciation obviously wasted on my friend, but I’d be proud of it. Possibly even get a billboard just to promote it. Also, I’d have more followers.
“Anytime you want to stop talking about my cock would be good, Joe.” Max rolled his eyes, not seeing the wasted opportunity.
“Fine, fine. It’s done. Let’s get out of here and find something else for me to do.” Hopefully keep my finger off the dial a little longer. Maybe even get my head straight, the whole last few days creating a shitstorm of thoughts I had no hope of deciphering.
“And delete the profile.” Max pointed the laptop as he stood up. “Better to take temptation completely out of the equation.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll get rid of it.” I was so not deleting it. “It’s already gone.” My fingers tapped on the keys pretending to deactivate the account as he walked away, heading to his bedroom.
Like I’d do something that stupid. You never know when you might need to go incognito. Hell, I was keeping that baby in my back pocket for a rainy day.
“Joey.” He poked his head out from his bedroom doorway. “This is going to be fine. Trust me.” The subtext of what he was talking about not needed. The guy had my back—those words right there—proof enough.
I swallowed, a lump forming in my throat.
“Thanks, dude.” All I could manage.
***
True to his word, Max not only got us out the door but recruited Rusty to join us, the guy not spending much time with us now that he was happily part of a pair. Not that it bothered me; I wouldn’t be going out if I had that at home either.
While Alison was a sweetheart—as well as good looking— and we didn’t usually care if she tagged along, it was good to have a night out with just the three of us. It had been too long.
The bar, as we affectionately called it—had been a mainstay for us for a few years. It was where we used to hang out, writing song lyrics on napkins before any of the other stuff started happening. It was also the place we’d come while we were recording the album, unwinding with a few beers after grueling days in the studio. It was almost like a second home, the staff knew us all by name, and by drink order.
“Hey, Joe.” Rusty entered the bar, heads turning as he strode past. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t interested; girls still flocked to the good-looking SOB. “Interesting evening, I hear.” The smirk giving me all the intel I needed to indicate that Max had already debriefed him.
“Yep, and aren’t you pissed it’s his dick and not yours which is getting all the attention?” I pulled out a chair, my chin giving him a hello as he sat down.
“Can we just leave my dick out of this?” Max shook his head, his bottle of beer lifting to his lips.
“Hey, I’m not the one who brought it up.” I shrugged. If anyone should be catching heat for the mention it should be Rus. “I was just explaining.”
“Whatever hard-on floats your boat, Joey. I’m not here to judge.” Rusty laughed, amused at his own joke. His hand signaled a waitress to bring over his usual.
“Whatever, assholes. I’m secure in my sexuality.” I lifted the longneck to my lips and took a swig. It was actually kind of nice to have the back and forth. Shit felt so normal and I’d forgotten how cool it was to just chill with these two, having a beer and some conversation.
“Hey, Rusty.” Rochelle, an old friend of ours sidled up close to Rus, her hand sliding up his thigh in a way that was far from innocent. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in here. I’ve missed you.” Her tongue darted out to lick her cherry lips.
“Hi, Rochelle. You know I’m a one-lady-man these days.” Rus peeled her hand off his thigh and gave her a smile. “And I’d rather not disrespect Ali or you by pretending otherwise.” He gave her a front row seat to the trademark Rusty brush off. It was actually cool to watch, the dude was one hell of a smooth operator.
“Of course.” She laughed, throwing her head back for effect. “Just teasing.” She scrunched her nose in what I could only guess was flirting.
“Joey.”
Her hand slid down my back. “How have you been, baby?” She eased herself down onto my lap. “You been hiding too?” She asked the second question without giving me a chance to answer the first.
Rochelle Roberts was hot. And as far as distractions went, she was a pretty fucking attractive one.
Tits that were worth every single cent she’d paid, and a body that could bend in ways that would make a pretzel jealous. She could also give head like it was an Olympic sport and I knew this all from first-hand experience.
It didn’t bother me that she flirted with Rus, a twisted part of me enjoyed the fact he kept turning her down. And I still fucked her because, well . . . why wouldn’t I? It was a tough gig and someone had to do it.
“Hey, babe.” I leaned back, letting her ass shift in my lap. “I’ve been busy.”
It wasn’t difficult to know what she wanted. After all, we’d fucked a couple of times already, neither of us interested in more than the casual hook up. It didn’t even bother me that she did the same to other guys. She was a nice girl who just happened to like sex. Nothing wrong with that.
“You want to go do something, baby?” She pushed her tits together, giving an even better view of her spectacular cleavage.
“Yeah, maybe later. I just want to hang with the guys for a bit.” I gave her a grin, still undecided if I wanted company.
It had been a few days since I’d been with anyone other than my hand—the night before Kenzie’s announcement to be precise. Part of it was the baby, but more importantly, I genuinely didn’t want to. Be with someone that was, the sex I still very much wanted. The raging hard-on I woke up with every morning proving the point. But every time I thought about actually moving to the fucking part, I couldn’t make myself go there. Lord knows I had a contact list full of willing participants. Maybe I should just get back on the horse. I didn’t have any reason to be lock-and-keying my dick, and the thought of relieving some of that stress sounded mighty appealing.
“Sure, whatever you want. I’m going to go sit at the bar with Gina. Call me if you get lonely.” She rocked against my cock a couple of times before climbing to her feet, a promise of what she was willing to do later. Sadly, I wasn’t even hard. God, I hoped my dick wasn’t broken.
“Will do.” I watched as she walked away, my eyes sticking to her ass as she headed to the bar. Even with the hip sway, it still didn’t even give me a semi.
“Asshole.” Max snapped his finger in front of my face. “You really going to go there? Seriously?” He eyed me from the other side of the table, the dude looking less than pleased.
“Probably. Since when have you known me to turn down sex?” After all, the idea of tonight was to get my mind off things, couldn’t think of a better way than being with a girl who knew exactly what she was getting. Not to mention I was slightly concerned by my lack of interest. And if Rochelle couldn’t resuscitate my cock then there really wasn’t much hope.
“Besides, she’s knows the score, it’s just casual. No harm, no foul.” And no freaking hoping for a relationship either, which was just another positive.
“Have to agree with Max, Joe. Walk away.” Rusty weighed in, the eyeball-of-death also getting shot my way from his side of the table.
“Why?” Neither of them had taken an interest in my love life before, I wasn’t sure why they felt the sudden need to get involved. It’s not like either of them were interested in her.
“Oh, I don’t know, Joe.” Max kept his voice tight, the noise of the bar not allowing anyone other than the three of us to hear the conversation. “You knocked up Kenz and now you’re just going to go off and fuck someone else? Please tell me you’re not that stupid.”
The reason why the two of them tried to cock block me was finally laid on the table. They were worried I was cheating on Kenzie.
Which would have been a fair call except we weren’t a couple. Far from it, and I was free to screw whoever I wanted. And while I hadn’t taken the opportunity up until this point, there had been zero reason for it. None. I could have had sex a hundred times by now, why I hadn’t I still didn’t fully understand.
And another thing, as much as I liked to fuck around, I’d never cheated on a girl. The few times I’d been in a relationship, I’d kept my dick in my pants with no problems at all. I was a lot of things; scumbag wasn’t one of them.
“It’s not like that with us. We’re not together. Trust me, Kenzie doesn’t care who I fuck.” Well at least that’s what she’d led me to believe.
“So she can just fuck other dudes?” Rus asked, a smug grin creeping across his face. “Sorry, man. I didn’t know. All right then, as you were.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Kenzie is pregnant, she’s not fucking anyone.” I scoffed, the idea of her getting down-and-dirty hilarious. I may not be the sharpest dude but my recollection was pretty clear—she had no interest in it.
“Pregnant woman have sex all the time, dumbass,” Max added like he was the oracle, and knew all about pregnant chicks and their sexual urges.
“That’s not what she said. From the vibe I got from her, if she never saw a dick again it would be too soon.”
I replayed the conversation in my head. Yep, her own words were her interest in my dick was suspended. She’d also threatened to rip off my balls more than once. And that wasn’t dirty talk or foreplay. She actually meant it.
“Yeah, that passes. Sometimes pretty quickly. And some get even hornier, wanting sex all the time.” Rusty volunteered information, the conviction in his voice sounding like he knew what he was talking about.
“What the fuck? She is going to want sex?” A wave of panic washed through me, my body all of sudden having trouble running its internal thermostat.
“Yep. Probably a lot of it too.” Rusty threw in, adding more fuel to the fire.
“No. No. No.” I shook my head, not believing what I was hearing. “You mean to tell me that she will be having sex with some other dude?”
The idea that she would be with someone else was something I hadn’t considered. Obviously we weren’t together, but I just assumed . . . Fuck. I don’t know what I assumed, but her screwing someone else wasn’t it.
“Yep. It’s good that you’ve got the agreement though.” Max anchored his hands behind his head, his eyes not moving from me despite him relaxing into his chair. “Have to say, it’s pretty admirable. Not sure I’d be so cool with it.”
“No. I don’t want her fucking other guys. This can’t happen.” More like, I’d do whatever the hell I needed to do so it wouldn’t happen. It didn’t even make sense as to why I didn’t, but there was no rationalizing the fucking emotion.
“Didn’t you just tell us how you guys aren’t a couple?” Max’s eyebrow rose, his voice steady as he made his point. “You can’t expect her to not see anyone else if you’re fucking anything that moves. Double standards much?”
“But my kid is in there.”
“It’s still her body. And a girl’s got needs just like a guy.” This time it was Rusty making the argument. The two of them tag-teaming me like a bad episode of WWE.
“I feel like I’m going to throw up.” I didn’t even care how much that made me sound like a pussy. The thought of Kenzie fucking some other guy while my kid was inside of her literally made me feel sick. Whatever agreement we had was fucking bullshit and I can’t believe I’d been dumb enough to give it the nod.
“Breathe through it, buddy.” Rusty, slapped me on the back. “You want me to call Rochelle back? Maybe she can give you a hand job and calm you down.” The asshole throwing in the cheap shot for good measure. It wasn’t needed—the point was well and truly made.
“What the hell am I going to do?” My eyes volleyed between them, hoping that one of them would have a freaking clue that would help get me out of this mess.
“I think instead of talking to us about it, maybe it’s a conversation you need to have with her.” Max’s head nodded to the cell that was sitting in front of me. And wasn’t that fucking
ironic since the whole reason we were out here was so I didn’t call her.
Oh well. This was important.
I’d never intentionally broken my word to anyone, but there was no way I could let this lie. We would have to sort it out and then if she wanted to go back to doing the phone avoid, then I’d play nice. Just as soon as we agreed on where we stood on the issue of fucking other people. Or more to the point, we would not be fucking other people.
“Hey, you guys cool if I bail? I’m not chancing this to a phone call.” Besides, she might not answer, so the only way I saw this conversation happening was face to face. Which technically meant I didn’t go back on my word, and this shit could still get straightened out. See? Who said I wasn’t smart?
“Yep. Go do what you need to do. Max and I will hang here.” Rus answered with a complete lack of surprise, taking another swig of his beer.
Max grabbed my arm as I went to get to my feet, the chair scraping the floor noisily as I scrambled to get up and get gone.
“Hey, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you not to be an asshole, right?”
“Trust me, that’s one thing you don’t have to worry about. Not with me and not with her.”
I wasn’t entirely sure what those words meant but I knew that while I didn’t love her, and she wasn’t my girlfriend, it would be a cold day in hell before I’d hurt her. Add into the mix she was carrying my kid and I could guarantee I’d crawl through fire for her if she asked.
And what a fucking wake up call that was.
I was so incredibly fucked.
Pathetic.
I was tucked up in bed at nine p.m. and had been wearing PJ’s since seven. And so was the glamorous life I was leading, my ass getting handed to me daily with every single ounce of energy disappearing into thin air.
Pity I couldn’t make myself care. The idea of being snuggled down under my covers more appealing than heading out with the girls. Who knew the idea of sleep could make me excited, the ten-hour stretch I had planned literally making me giddy.
Just me, this bed and no interruptions. There wasn’t a thing I wanted more.