by E. L. Todd
I was avoiding Wilder. As much as I hated to admit it, I was scared of him. I’d never seen him in action, but I knew he was powerful. There was no other way he could get a group of men to respond to him so quickly.
What would he do to me tonight?
Had he already killed my father?
His knock sounded on the door.
I immediately flinched in fear, something I hated myself for doing. There was nowhere for me to run or hide. Even if I wanted to run, I had no money or passport. I couldn’t get on a plane or a boat.
I was stuck.
Wilder cracked the door. “Can I come in?”
I stared at the fire and ignored him.
When he knew he wouldn’t get a word out of me, he shut the door and joined me by the fire. He wore sweatpants like yesterday, but today he had on a shirt.
I waited for the threats to ensue. I waited for him to grab me. He would probably try again tonight, but this time he wouldn’t grant me mercy.
“Are you alright?”
That was the last thing I expected him to ask. “What?”
“Are you alright?” he repeated. He stared at the side of my face, watching every reaction.
“Yeah.”
He turned away and watched the fire. “I didn’t mean to upset you last night. I’m sorry.”
He was sorry?
He rested his arms on his knees like the night before.
“Are you going to kill my father?” I had to ask, even though I didn’t want the answer.
“Why would I do that?” He turned back to me, one eyebrow raised.
“Because I didn’t sleep with you. I didn’t do as you asked.”
Confusion lingered in his eyes before it morphed into pain. “I never asked you to sleep with me, Gray.”
“Yes. That was the compromise.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “The compromise was you. But that didn’t mean I owned you.”
Now I was confused. “What?”
“I could take what I want from you. But I won’t.” He watched the expression on my face, his was completely blank. “Rape isn’t my thing and it never will be. I want you to want me. That’s what makes sex fun.”
“But I…” I didn’t know what to say.
“It’s no secret that I want you. I still do. Last night…” He shook his head in memory. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that hard in my life. But if it’s not something you want, then don’t worry about it.”
“If that isn’t what you want me for…then why do you want me?”
He turned his gaze back to the fire. “I can’t say.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have a reason, but I’m not ready to tell you what it is. Actually, you aren’t ready to hear it.”
What other reason could he possibly have?
After a moment of silence passed, he turned back to me. “I’m not the bad guy you think I am. I’m one of the good guys. But I know you won’t believe me—at least right now.”
“My dad works for the CIA. He’s one of the good guys.”
“He told you this?”
“No…”
“Then why do you think that?”
“I just noticed things over the years. Guns…trips…weird phone calls.”
Disappointment filled his eyes. “I know he’s your dad so it’s hard to hear something like that—that he’s a bad guy. But he is, Gray. He’s one of the most dangerous men in the world. He’s not who you think he is. His job is to be deceitful. The man you know isn’t real. It’s just an act.”
My heart raced. “That’s not true…” I remembered every holiday and every time he took me to get ice cream. He was a great father. He was always there for me when I needed him.
Wilder sighed in sadness.
“Do you have any evidence?”
“I do. But I don’t want to show it to you.”
“Why not?”
He was quiet for nearly a minute. “It would be less painful for you if you just take my word for it. Because when I show you…you’ll be crushed. I don’t want you to feel that way.”
Now my blood was pounding in my ears.
“How do I know you aren’t lying to me?”
“I guess you don’t. But you’ll realize it eventually.”
I didn’t know what to believe. What if Wilder was just trying to get inside my head? But what if he wasn’t lying at all?
“Just for the record, I would never hurt you. I would never make you do something you don’t want to do. I’m sorry I gave you that impression.”
I looked into his eyes and saw his sincerity.
“I felt like shit last night. I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to check on you, but I assumed you needed space.”
I nodded in agreement.
He extended his hand to me like he wanted me to take it.
I eyed it before I placed my palm in his.
He interlocked our fingers together while he watched me. “I can’t do relationships because of my lifestyle. I can’t tell women what I really do for a living. I’m always on the go. I’m always moving. There’s nothing I can offer to anyone else besides nice gifts and one-night stands. That’s why I am the way I am.”
Now I understood.
“I can’t offer that to you either. But I can offer something—if you want it.” He stared into my eyes without blinking, searching for my soul.
“What?”
“Friendship—mixed with awesome sex.” He gave me a flirtatious smile.
I still didn’t know if he was good or evil, but if he really was the devil, wouldn’t he have hurt me? Wouldn’t he have raped me? Would he be holding my hand like this?
He released my hand and pulled me into his side. He wrapped his arm around me, and I pressed my face against his chest. His chin rested on my head, and he blanketed me with his warmth.
“Wilder?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you know I was his daughter when we met?”
“No.” He said it without hesitation.
I pulled away and looked into his eyes. I was getting better at reading him, and the answer to every question I had was usually in his gaze. He could hide the expression of his mouth and body, but his eyes couldn’t be controlled. When I asked about his family, there was a reaction there. When I asked about his job, there was also something in his eyes. “When you dropped me off at my house, did you know then?”
“No.” He held my gaze as he answered the question. “I knew he had a daughter, but I didn’t know what you looked like. That’s the honest truth.”
He might be a skilled liar, especially if he was some kind of special intelligence, but I didn’t think he was lying to me. And if he was, did it really matter? “Okay.”
Chapter Seven
When I came downstairs for breakfast, the table was set with French toast, bacon, and eggs.
Wilder came downstairs shortly after I did. I still didn’t know which bedroom was his, but then again, I never asked. He wore boots with dark jeans. A long sleeved shirt fit nicely across his chest. “Hey, Judy. It smells good in here.”
I noticed he always gave her compliments. He was unusually sweet to her, and I wondered why.
“Thanks.” Judy beamed with pride every time he praised her.
I wondered if she had a thing for him.
Wilder was ten years younger than she was, but then again, I was five years younger than him. Age didn’t really matter.
He sat across from me at the table and ate his breakfast. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah.” It was the first night I actually had a restful night of sleep. After the conversation we had the other day, I was at ease. I still didn’t trust him fully because there wasn’t enough evidence to, but I didn’t walk on eggshells either. If he wanted to hurt me or do something worse, he would have done it by now. I truly believed he didn’t mean me any harm. “How can I not sleep well when I’m in a sle
igh with silk sheets?”
“I have a hard time getting up in the morning.”
I imagined what he looked like when he was asleep. He was probably not as rough around the edges. I knew what his naked chest looked like but sometimes I wondered what the rest of him looked like. “Me too.”
“Do you have plans today?”
Plans? I had no money and I was a prisoner. The only type of plans I could have were showering or napping. “No.”
“Would you like to visit the village?”
And get out of the house? “Duh. I’m getting cabin fever over here.”
“Great,” he said. “You’ll love it.”
***
I bundled up in the warmest clothes I could find, but Wilder only wore jeans and a light jacket. The cold didn’t seem to affect him the way it affected normal people. His temperature naturally ran high, and I wondered if that was because of the muscle he carried.
We walked down the road until we reached the entrance to the village.
“Why didn’t we drive?” My hands were in my pockets and a beanie was on my head, but I was still feeling the bite.
“There are no cars allowed in the village.”
“What?” That was beyond my understanding. I couldn’t imagine a town without cars.
“The village is really old, built long before automobiles. Besides, there’s no way to get them here. You have to take a train just to enter the valley.”
I was on a train when they brought me here? How did he accomplish that?
“How do you get groceries?”
“Judy takes the train.”
“Wow…” It seemed backwards to me.
“That’s what makes it special,” he said. “You feel like you’re stepping back in time.”
“I guess I have to experience it myself.”
“You’ll like it,” he said with confidence.
“I’m sure I will.”
We entered the village and stepped foot on the cobbled street. The pathways were narrow, and only foot traffic and sleighs were allowed. The village was decorated with white lights and garland. Christmas was in the air. Clydesdales pulled sleighs through the streets, where passengers hopped on for a ride. Bells rang from the straps, and could be heard from blocks away. Shops lined the ways, and restaurants and bars were open. Some of the buildings were chalets where people lived. Their windows looked down into the village below.
Wilder watched me, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “So, what do you think?”
When I turned back to him, I was smiling and showing all my teeth. “It’s…magical.” There was no better way to describe it.
We entered a few shops and looked around. I found a sweater that had the Matterhorn on it. I immediately wanted it, but then I remembered I didn’t have any money. It hit me hard in the chest. I had absolutely no independence whatsoever.
Wilder took the sweater from my hand and paid for it without asking me anything. Then he carried the bag as he kept walking through the store.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
He ignored what I said. “If you want something, just tell me.”
Even though I was financially dependent on him, I couldn’t do that.
“I’ll give you an account. That way, you have some spending money.”
An account?
We kept walking through the town and visited the other shops.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“A little.”
“I know a great place.” He guided me to a Swiss fondue restaurant. Once we walked inside, the smell of bread and cheese filled my nostrils. He turned to me with that attractive smile. “It’s not fried cheese sticks, but it’s the closest thing.”
I smiled for the tenth time that day. “It’ll do.”
We sat at a table near the window, and the view of the Swiss Alps was in our line of sight. I stared at the snowy mountains and forgot a whole other world existed outside of that valley.
Wilder watched me from across the table. His mouth was relaxed, and it didn’t look like he had anything to say. He was just staring, like he usually did. When the waitress came, he ordered two hot chocolates and a pot of fondue to share. Then he returned to staring at me in silence.
The more time I spent with him, the harder it was for me to be on my guard. He could still be an assassin, but I kept forgetting that truth. This man was someone I didn’t really know, but I felt like I did know him.
“I think you understand why this is my favorite place in the world.” He sipped his hot cocoa and watched me from across the table.
“I do.”
“It’s the most beautiful place in the world. And I’ve been everywhere.”
“You have?” I asked.
“Well, I haven’t been to North Korea.” He gave me a playful smile.
“If you had, I’d want to know the tale.”
“I’d doubt I’d survive to tell it.”
I felt the warm mug in my hands and watched the marshmallows melt. “So…if you aren’t a bad guy, who do you work for? CIA? MI6?”
“No. And no.” He eyed the people around us, and deemed them too far away to overhear our conversation.
“Then who do you work for?”
“Myself.”
I wasn’t following. “You’re rogue?”
“I guess you could say that.” He sipped his hot cocoa again before he leaned over the table. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know. But let’s wait until we get home.” His face was just inches from mine, and I couldn’t help but glance at his lips. Even when I was afraid of him, I still liked kissing him.
At least he agreed to share this information with me. “Okay.”
***
When we walked back to his chalet, it started to snow.
I stopped and looked up at that overcast sky, watching white patches fall down to earth. Instinctively, I opened my mouth to catch a few snowflakes.
Wilder watched me with an amused expression.
“Why is snow white?” I asked.
“The crystals that form snow are air, water, and ice. Since all of those elements are refractive, they reflect all white. What’s the combination of all the colors? White.”
“Wow…I didn’t know that.”
“Now you do.”
When we left the village, we came across large piles of snow. I pointed at a flat spot on the ground. “You want to make a snow angel?”
“Not really.”
“Come on.”
“We’re going to get soaking wet. Then you’ll catch a cold. If that happens, you’ll be useless to me.”
“I already am useless to you.”
He shook his head. “That’s not true at all.”
I scooped up some snow with my glove. “At least make a snowman with me.”
“You had snow back at home. Why do you want to do this now?” He stood beside me and watched me dig my hands into the powder.
“Because I have someone to build a snowman with.”
His lips dropped their smile, but emotion filled his eyes. Without saying another word, he crouched down and began to help me. “I’ve never made a snowman before.”
“You haven’t?”
“Nope.”
“Did you grow up under a rock?”
He made the bottom part of the snowman without answering my question.
I didn’t press him on it and kept working. Together, we made the two top pieces. We both admired our handiwork then realized what we were missing.
“Is he supposed to have a face?” Wilder asked.
“Yeah.” I rubbed my chin and looked around for a branch or rocks but there wasn’t one in sight.
Wilder shrugged. “Well, you can still tell he’s a snowman.”
“Maybe he’s just facing the opposite way.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, maybe.”
We headed up the road to his chalet, passing a few o
thers on the way. I pulled my jacket tighter around me.
“You want my jacket?” he asked.
“No.” I wasn’t going to let him freeze just so I could be warm. “We’re almost there anyway.”
We walked inside the house and wiped our boots on the mat. Our jackets were shed, and it was nice to be indoors after walking around outside all day. A fire burned in the hearth and I immediately stood in front of it to warm my hands. “Such a cute little town.”
He hung his jacket on the coat rack. “It feels like an undiscovered part of the world, pure and unaffected by corruption.”
I sat on the bricks and let the fire warm my back.
He went into the kitchen and poured a glass of scotch before he sat beside me. The fire burned just feet away, and it made the living room glow. He held the glass out to me in offering.
I stared at the three large ice cubes before I took it.
“It’s straight.”
I held my breath and downed half the glass. There wasn’t a burn because it was so smooth, the smoothest scotch I’d ever had. I moved my tongue around in my mouth, savoring the after taste. Then I handed it back.
Wilder didn’t smile, but there was a look of amusement in his eyes. His eyes always seemed to give him away. They were his weakness, the one thing he couldn’t control. “You can hold your liquor well.”
“I like booze.” I shrugged. “What can I say?”
“What’s your go-to drink?”
“Depends on my mood.”
He sipped from his glass, his eyes still trained on me.
“When I’m depressed, whiskey. When I’m in my party girl mode, Patron.”
“Party girl mode?” Now he was grinning. “I want to see that side of you.”
“No, you don’t,” I said quickly. “It’s the loud and obnoxious side of me.”
“So, it’s the same.” He said it in a deadpan way.
My eyes narrowed to slits, threatening him with my silence.
A quiet chuckle escaped his lips and he took another drink, not the least bit intimidated by me.
I snatched his drink away, not intending to return it. I finished the contents with a look of defiance. Then I shoved it back into his chest.
He was impressed, even if he didn’t admit it. “I’m waiting for you to strip and dance on my table.”