He drew the wagon to a stop in front of the barn, half expecting someone to come outside. But the house was quiet.
Good, he thought. It would give him time to put the dog in the barn until after supper when they would surprise the children.
Not wasting any time, he unharnessed the horse and gave it a bag of oats. The puppy licked his hand as he set a dish of water inside the crate. "It's only a little while longer, boy," he murmured, scratching the toffee-colored fur at the puppy's neck. "I'll be back soon."
Emma looked up from the stew pot when Sam opened the door and stepped inside. She smiled, and a rush of warmth spread through him. The question was in her eyes, and he nodded, barely, letting her know he'd brought the dog home.
"Howdy, Pa," Joseph said from the other side of the kitchen.
"Papa!" Becky bounded down from her chair and leapt into Sam's arms. Her forehead creased in a frown. "Where you been, Papa?"
Sam planted a loud kiss on Becky's cheek. "Been in town taking care of business."
Becky's head tilted. "Me want to take care of binnis."
"You want to do everything."
Becky's head bobbed. "Me do everything."
"Come and sit down, Sam," Emma put in, crossing the kitchen and holding out her arms to take Becky from Sam. "You look tired."
Sam released his hold on the little girl, and she slid out of his arms and scooted back into her chair at the table. As Emma dished out a bowl of stew and dumplings and set it in front of Sam, she couldn't help stealing a glance at him.
He really did seem to be more sluggish every day. Fatigue lined his face, and she'd caught him yawning several times when he didn't know she was looking. Only a couple of days before, she'd gone unexpectedly into the barn and found him sitting on the milking stool, leaning against the wall, with his eyes closed. She'd left without speaking, but as the days went on and he looked more and more haggard, she wondered if she should insist he see a doctor.
Her heart did a little jump when he caught her looking at him, and she turned away quickly, focusing on a dumpling in the pot.
"Me want dumpling."
"Please," Emma prodded.
Becky gave her a grin. "Pease."
Emma chuckled and spooned a dumpling onto Becky's plate.
"Can I have a biscuit?" Nathan asked. "Please?" he added a split second later.
Emma picked up a buttered biscuit and set it on his plate. "Here you are," she said. "Just the way you like them."
"Thanks." Nathan took a bite. "These is real good."
Sam stabbed a piece of beef with his fork and lifted it to his mouth. "Your ma is one fine cook."
Nathan frowned, and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something to Sam, then seemed to think better of it, instead shoving the rest of the biscuit in his mouth.
"I told the children I'd take them on a picnic tomorrow," Emma said to Sam a few minutes later. "Do you have time to join us?"
Sam wiped his mouth with his napkin, then set it down on the table beside his plate. "I've got a lot of chores to catch up on since I didn't get them done today."
Emma's smile faded. "Of course. I understand. Perhaps another time--"
Joseph straightened. "We did the chores this afternoon so we ain't got nothin' but the regular chores to do in the mornin'."
"That so?"
Joseph nodded, his eyes bright with pride. "Yep. And Ma didn't even have to tell us what to do."
Sam gave Joseph a curious look. A weight lodged itself in Sam's chest. The boy was growing up. He'd taken on responsibility without even being asked. "Well, in that case," he said with a smile, "I don't see why I couldn't spare a couple hours. Maybe we could even catch us a few fish and your ma could fry them up for supper."
Emma grinned. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."
Turning to the children, Sam said, "Once you're finished supper, go out to the barn and bring in the package I brought from town."
"What did you buy, Pa?" Joseph asked.
A twinkle appeared in Sam's eye. "It's a surprise."
"Surprise!" Becky shouted.
"What kind of surprise?" Nathan stabbed a piece of beef with his fork and shovelled it into his mouth.
"You'll see," Sam said secretively. "I think you'll like it."
Emma chuckled. "I think you're enjoying this as much as the children."
Sam's gaze met hers, and warmth spread through her. "I'm enjoying a lot of things these days."
Emma's heartbeat began to flutter, and heat suffused her. What exactly did he mean? Was it possible he was beginning to care for her? This wasn't in her plans, but then she hadn't planned on caring for him either. She hadn't planned on spending time fantasizing about kissing him, and what his hands would feel like on her skin.
She was only torturing herself. If he saw the scars she hid beneath her clothes, he would turn from her in disgust, just as Barclay had. Yes, he was kind and gentle, but he was still a man. And men weren't attracted to hideous women. As long as she remembered that, she wouldn't get hurt too badly.
"Let's go." Joseph bounded up, the chair scraping noisily along the floor.
Nathan joined him and the two of them raced out of the house.
"Wait! Me go too!" Becky shouted, climbing down from the chair and shouldering her way past Sam. The door slammed into the wall behind her.
Laughing, Sam picked up the oil lamp, then grabbed Emma's hand in his. "Come on. We don't want to miss this."
His heat seeped into Emma, warming her against the cool evening air. The calluses on his fingers were rough, yet the abrasion against the softness of her skin wasn't the least bit unpleasant. A tingle swept up her arm and deep into her insides.
He hadn't even noticed he was still holding her hand, she realized as she followed him out the door and across the yard.
Night had fallen, and stars twinkled from a clear sky. Somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted, and crickets chirped in the nearby fields.
At the entrance to the barn, Sam paused, and the two of them watched the children inside. In the dim light, the boys couldn't see far into the building, and they slowly picked their way through it, searching for their surprise.
"Where the prize?" Emma heard Becky ask.
"Don't know," Nathan replied. "Must be here somewheres."
An unfamiliar noise came from the darkness at the other end of the barn. The boys stopped in their tracks, Becky right behind them. Nathan turned to Sam. "What's that?"
Sam's lips quirked, and he struggled to contain a grin. He shrugged. "Guess you boys'd better go see."
The boys took a few more cautious steps. Becky stayed behind, her fist clutched in Emma's skirt.
The noise grew louder. "What do you think it is, Joseph?" Nathan asked.
"Sounds like a dog or somethin'," Joseph answered. "But we don't got no dog."
Sam walked up behind them, holding the lantern aloft to give them some light. The boys noticed the crate - and the caramel coloured dog - at the exact same time.
"Wow!"
"Look!"
The boys raced to the crate and sank to their knees at the side. Reaching in, Joseph picked up the squirming bundle and brought it to rest on his lap. Nathan buried his face in the animal's fur. "Ain't he somethin', Joseph?"
"He sure is."
The puppy chose that moment to begin to lap Nathan's hand.
At that moment, Becky peeked out from behind Emma's skirt and noticed Joseph holding the dog. Her squeal split the air.
"Doggie!" Her eyes grew huge. Dimples creased her cheeks, and she was fairly bursting with excitement. As fast as her legs could carry her, she scrambled across the barn floor and made a grab for the dog. Joseph reached out and stopped her. "You dope, Becky," he grumbled.
"Joseph!" Emma's voice was stern. Joseph gave her a guilty look, then muttered a half-hearted apology to Becky.
"You're gonna hurt it if you're not careful," Joseph went on, his voice gentle.
Becky's smile disappe
ared. "Me not hurt it," she assured Joseph. "Me play."
"Well then," Joseph said. "Just wait a minute."
Again she reached out to touch the dog.
This time, Joseph allowed her to pet it. "Be gentle, Becky. Gentle."
"Me be gentle." Becky looked up at Joseph as she slowly, gently, ran her hand over the dog's coat. "Me gentle, right?"
Joseph nodded. "That's right."
At that moment, Nathan seemed to realize that this was the surprise Sam had been talking about. He looked up, his face shining with excitement. "Can we keep him?"
Sam smiled. "Sure can. But you boys have to look after him. And you'll have to think up a name for him."
Both boys nodded in agreement. "We will," they promised simultaneously.
"Hey, Nathan, we could call him Zeus, or Apollo, like in the story Ma told us last night. Or even Thor."
Nathan grinned. "Yeah. I like Apollo. Could we call him Apollo?"
"Okay."
Turning to Sam, Joseph announced their decision. "Then it's settled," he said. "Now you boys better get inside. It's getting late."
"Does Apollo have to sleep out here?" Nathan asked. "It's still pretty cold at night for him to sleep in the barn."
"I suppose it is," Sam agreed. "But since he isn't house-broken, I don't think--"
"Of course he can't sleep out here. He's only a puppy," Emma butted in. "But you two are responsible for any mess he makes. Is that clear?"
Nathan and Joseph nodded. "Yes, ma'am." Becky looked up, her face creased in a smile. "Me won't make a mess."
Sam and Emma laughed. "Not you, Becky. The puppy."
"Oh." Becky turned to the bundle of fur that had begun to nibble on her fingers. "You not make a mess, okay, puppy?"
Apollo looked up at her adoringly and lapped her face. Becky giggled.
"Good," Emma said. "Then why don't you take him inside and find him a place to sleep."
The boys got to their feet and took the dog from Becky, Joseph chuckling as Apollo lapped at his neck. They paused when they reached Sam and Emma.
"Thanks, Pa," Joseph said, his tone turning sombre. "I never thought we'd ever get to have a dog."
"Yeah, Pa, thanks," Nathan echoed.
"It's Emma you should be thanking," Sam pointed out. "It was her idea."
Nathan's eyebrows lifted as his gaze shifted to Emma. "Really?"
Sam nodded. "She thought you boys deserved a pet."
Joseph smiled and turned to Emma. "Thanks, Ma. This is the best present I ever had. And it isn't even Christmas."
Nathan nibbled on his lip for a few moments, and his forehead creased in a frown. Then he raised his head to look at Emma. "Thanks ..." He hesitated, as if he wanted to add something, but couldn't bring himself to. "Thanks," he repeated, then turned and followed Joseph outside.
Emma watched the children go, and smiled to herself. She'd done the right thing. The children were coming to accept her. Even Nathan. She was sure he'd almost called her 'ma'. Almost. One day soon, he would accept her as his mother. All she had to do was wait. Then her life would be complete. Well, as complete as it possibly could be.
"We'd best get inside," Sam said softly. "It's getting a mite chilly out here." He smiled down at her with those dark eyes, and her heartbeat quickened.
She nodded in agreement, even though she wasn't feeling at all cold. In fact, with her hand still nestled in Sam's, she was feeling decidedly warm. And when he looked at her like that ... why, she could feel herself growing hotter by the second.
Sam picked up the lamp and led her from the barn. A cool breeze tousled her hair as she stepped outside and a drop of rain landed on her cheek. He released her hand to close the door, and for some unexplainable reason, she felt almost ... lonely.
Ridiculous, she chided. Sam was right beside her. Yet still, she recognized the sadness she'd often felt after her father died - as if she would never truly belong to anyone again.
She wanted a man to love her the way her father had loved her mother, the way Amanda and James adored each other, the way Fred and Lou still couldn't keep their hands off each other even after all their years of marriage.
She wanted to feel loved, both emotionally and physically. She wanted to feel the touch of a man's hands and lips, wanted to learn the secrets of love between a husband and a wife, wanted to carry and bear a child of her own, a child conceived in love.
And try as she might, she couldn't deny the truth. It was Sam's lips she craved, Sam's hands, Sam's child.
Heat surged up inside her at her lustful thoughts. Heavens, what would he think if he knew where her thoughts were leading.
"I brought a surprise home for you, too," Sam said, interrupting her musings.
Startled, Emma looked up at him. His eyes held a teasing glint. "You did?"
"Yep." Sam took a step towards the door, drawing her along with him. "And there's something I'd like to talk to you about."
Chapter 10
Finally, the children were asleep and the puppy was settled in a basket in the children's bedroom. The house was quiet. It was the perfect time to speak to Emma about what was on his mind.
He was doing the right thing. Catherine was gone, and it was time to move on. Emma had come into his life and made it worth living again. It was time to tell her, and hope that maybe she cared for him enough that they could have a real marriage.
So why was he so scared? Hell, he was shaking harder than a boy facing his pa in the woodshed. He hadn't even been this nervous when he'd asked Catherine to marry him. Of course, then he'd been sure she'd say yes. She'd made no secret she wanted to get married. Fool that he'd been, he'd believed it was because she loved him. He hadn't learned the truth until it was too late.
This was different. He had no idea how Emma would react to his proposition.
His gaze slid to Emma. His wife. He'd thought he could be satisfied with having a wife in name only, but now ...
Now that he'd gotten to know her, he realized he cared for her far more than he'd ever expected. She filled his thoughts, and even some of his dreams. And waking up every morning with her body snuggled into his was killing him. He couldn't go on that way much longer. Hell, if he didn't start getting some sleep soon, he'd collapse.
He sat down in the rocker beside the fireplace and watched her moving about the kitchen. She began to hum a tune as she wiped a dinner plate and set it on the shelf near the stove, the haunting melody floating in the air. She picked up the sugar bowl and reached to put it on the top shelf. Her blouse stretched across her slim frame, the fabric straining across her breasts.
His blood heated, pooling in his groin. His pants became uncomfortably tight. Oh, damn!
She stopped singing and ran her tongue across her lush bottom lip. Sam's insides curled with desire.
"Emma?" he called out.
Emma turned and smiled at him. "Yes, Sam?"
"Are you just about finished in there?" he asked, changing the subject.
"Almost. Why?"
"Can it wait until morning?"
Emma paused and gave him a curious look. "I suppose it could, but it'll only take me a few minutes. Then I'm all yours."
He sure hoped that would be the case once he'd said what he intended to say. If he didn't mess things up, she wouldn't be doing any more chores tonight.
"Good." He left Emma standing in the middle of the kitchen. She heard his footsteps on the stairs, and a few seconds later, he returned with the parcel tucked under his arm.
Emma felt her excitement rising when she spied it. A present. For her. No one had cared enough about her to buy her a gift for such a long time.
Sam offered the parcel to Emma. "I hope you like it," he said.
"But ...you shouldn't have ..."
"Hush," Sam murmured, moving closer and placing his index finger over her lips. "You deserve it for all you've done for us."
Some of the joy faded from the moment. It was a gratitude gift. Nothing more. She'd been a fool to think
even for a moment that it was anything more than that.
With trembling fingers, she untied the string and opened the paper.
Her smile faded. She recognized the dress she'd admired in the window of the mercantile. A dress she would never be able to wear.. "Oh ..." she whispered, lifting the dress from the wrapping paper. The silky fabric slid across her arms and fell in soft folds.
Emma's gaze lifted to his. "Sam, you really shouldn't have ..."
Sam's expectant gaze faltered. Concern replaced the happiness she'd seen in his eyes. "Don't you like it? Libby said it was the latest style and ...."
"I love it. It's not that." How could she refuse his gift without hurting his feelings. She'd never want to hurt him. "But Sam, when would I wear a dress like this?"
"You could wear it for me," he said, his voice husky.
Emma's breath caught in her throat. Her heart began to flutter beneath her breast. He was looking at her with such undisguised desire, Emma had to look away. They were talking about a dress, but the meaning behind his words was clear.
And what was worse, she wanted nothing more at this moment than to accept his unspoken proposal, to feel his strong arms around her, to know his touch. But how could she? How could she tell him the truth? That beneath her high collars and long sleeves, she was anything but desirable. That even he, who was the kindest and most honorable man she'd ever known, would turn from her in disgust.
A loud wail from the floor above split the silence. "Mama!"
"It's Becky," Emma said, handing the package back to Sam. "I'll go see to her."
Emma raced from the kitchen and was already on the bottom stair when she heard Sam's voice. "Think about it, Emma."
***
"Here we are." Sam drew the wagon to a stop on a grassy knoll overlooking a stream that gurgled as it flowed over small pebbles and rocks. The children scrambled out of the wagon, eager to explore. Emma handed the wicker picnic basket to Nathan. "Would you mind putting it under that tree?" she said, pointing to a live oak nearby.
Emma's Wish Page 11