“Okay, fine, you win . . . Luca,” I said, practically forcing the “Luca” through gritted teeth. It simply went against my nature to use first names with authority figures, especially when they held as much forbidden appeal as this one.
Luca offered to pick me up on Sunday, but I refused, preferring to meet him at the edge of the park. I certainly didn’t want to give him the impression that we could end up friends or something. Besides, I didn’t want him to know where I lived, even if he’d almost certainly seen my address in my employee records at some point. I was having a hard enough time calling him by his first name, and jogging with him was personal enough—I wasn’t about to permit even more intimacy.
Although I did think that was a bit of a shame a few seconds later, when I saw his perfect body. He was standing with his back toward me, wearing blue knee-length shorts and a tight T-shirt in the same color. And if I needed any more proof that it was him, there was also a large sheepdog frolicking around him.
As though sensing my presence, Luca turned around and beckoned me over. “Shit,” I murmured to myself when I saw his athletic figure from the front. Those strong arms! Those washboard abs! Those long, muscular legs! How was I supposed to ever stop staring at his body? It wasn’t like he was a gym rat—actually, he had a pretty thin build—but his height and his defined muscles made him a breathtaking sight. What I needed to do was turn around and flee from this demon.
Luca squatted to scratch Kira behind the ears, then sent her over to me. “Look, we have a new friend,” he said, at which the dog jumped up at me, tail wagging.
“Hi, pretty girl,” I said, and let Kira sniff my hand before I petted her.
“She was two when I got her from the animal shelter. Took a pretty long time to breathe life back into her.” He stood up again. Wow, he did that? His love for animals surprised me; I hadn’t expected it in a tough businessman like him. Before I could respond, he straightened up to his full height, and all I could do was gape at him.
“Wow, you’re . . . pretty . . . well built,” I blurted out, totally incapable of tearing my eyes away from his torso. Only when he laughed and thanked me for the compliment did I look up. God, those eyes of his. Why was he scrutinizing me so intensely? I felt something tighten in the lower regions of my body and suddenly wished he would kiss me. I wanted those powerful arms around me, pressing me close. Shit, I wanted sex!
I cleared my throat. “She’s really beautiful,” I said, turning my attention back to the dog. As I did so, I saw his eyes wander attentively over my body, and knowing that he was checking me out only made me feel warmer.
Since I’d had to run errands before meeting Luca, I had my street clothes on. He said that I could change in his car and led me to a black Jeep that was elegant yet sporty and powerful. I liked big cars and the legroom they provided; what I couldn’t stand were two-seaters that you just about had to lie down in. I tended to think more about practical things like that. If I could ever afford a car, it would be big enough to hold my shopping bags and maybe a couple friends. I mean, what good was an awesome-looking car if nobody could fit into it?
But that was so typical in our status-crazed society, where people bought new smartphones every year just because they had one new function. Seriously, what was that about? I’d had my phone for at least six years, and I didn’t see any reason to sign some expensive contract just to keep up with the times. Because let’s be honest—to communicate with the outside world, phones had to be able to do two things: make calls and send texts.
When we reached his Jeep, he opened the door for me and then turned his back so that I could change in private. He didn’t have cameras in here, did he? You never knew with these wealthy men. I’d heard rumors that some American celebrities had installed cameras in their bedrooms as a safeguard, so that people couldn’t charge them with rape after the fact. And maybe it was no different with Luca. Who knew?
As I slipped out of my jacket, Kira came up to watch me through the crack in the door. “Did you send her over to spy on me?” I joked as I unbuttoned my pants.
“What if I told you I was a Warg and could see through the eyes of animals?”
“A what?” I asked, confused.
He sighed theatrically. “You’ve never seen Game of Thrones?”
“Not my genre. I leave the fantasy stuff to Lisa,” I said, slipping into my workout clothes. Somehow, though, I really liked the idea of him spending the evening sitting in front of the TV, watching a fantasy show. That was so down-to-earth—a description I never would have associated with him. I’d thought of him as a successful executive who sat at his laptop until late at night, tracking statistics of some kind, not somebody who had cozy DVD nights with his buddies. But I also hadn’t pegged him for a guy who would adopt animals, so apparently there were a few things about him I’d gotten wrong.
I got out of his car. My clothes weren’t nearly as revealing as his—my jogging pants were ankle length, and I had an athletic jacket on over my pink shirt. The jacket and pants were black, with pink stripes on the side seams. With a pair of black Asics, my jogging look was complete.
He gave me a shameless once-over that made me deeply uncomfortable, so I turned my attention to Kira. How, I wondered, did he manage to develop so much self-confidence that he could just look at someone he hardly knew like that? In the subway I didn’t dare look at anyone for even three seconds—they might feel like I was harassing them. Luca, on the other hand, seemed to have no such qualms. Lucky him. I’d love to be able to intimidate people with my mere presence, too. Like my mother did, for example. As it was, all I had going for me was a big mouth.
“So, you ready?” he asked as we headed toward Tiergarten. I nodded, throwing a small towel across my shoulders, and followed him. We started out slow and easy to warm up, and Luca told a few jokes to lighten the mood. I was a pretty hard nut to crack, I admit—especially when I felt intimidated—but jokes always won me over. The dumber the better.
But it wasn’t long before he picked up the pace, and I started finding less and less to laugh about. Kira obviously had no problem keeping up and pranced around us happily, but I neither had four legs nor was I a sports guru like Luca, so I started running out of steam after just ten minutes.
“Oh, please, you can’t be serious,” he said when I slowed down. He didn’t sound the least bit out of breath. “I thought you went jogging a lot,” he remarked accusingly.
“I never said that,” I gasped in reply. My heart was hammering in my chest, and my lungs were burning.
He slowed down to match my pace. “So why did you come along?”
“I wanted to see your dog,” I said. “And a little physical activity sounded like a good idea.”
“You should have said so right away. Then we would have taken things slower.”
I made a dismissive gesture. “It’s fine, I just can’t go that fast,” I said, running bravely onward. As we jogged along, I stayed a few inches behind him so that I could look at him from the side unabashedly. The muscles in his bent arms were tense and had a wonderful shape to them. I totally loved strong arms, as long as they weren’t too pumped up, and Luca’s were perfect. Actually, everything about him was perfect, and I wondered again whether he had a girlfriend. A guy like him had to be taken, right? Then again, he was out jogging with me. Is that something people did when they were in a relationship?
“Say, do you always go running with your assistants?” I asked before I could agonize about it any further. “Is this some kind of get-to-know-you ritual?”
“Of course not,” he said with a wink, so I couldn’t tell whether he meant it. When he saw my skeptical expression, though, he turned serious. “No, Sophia, I really don’t,” he assured me and seemed a little offended. But what was I supposed to do? I just didn’t understand why he’d invited me, of all people, out here. What did he want? “You’re just unbelievably mistrustful,�
� he said and sighed, as though he could read my mind. “And hard to convince. As much as I hate to admit it, you really test my limits.”
“Sounds like I’m some kind of project for you,” I observed dryly. I’d actually just said it without thinking, but it seemed to hurt his feelings, if the sour look he gave me was any indication.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” I asked.
“You make fun of everything I say. You never take me seriously.”
I cast him a doubtful sidelong glance. Did he actually mean that? When he stopped, I did the same. “Sorry,” I said, wiping my forehead. “I just don’t like it when people flirt with me, or when they’re nice to me in some weird way.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You genuinely mean that, don’t you?”
“Absolutely,” I confirmed.
He set off again, and I followed, trying to keep up with him. Kira had disappeared into the brush somewhere. “But that’s not normal. Every woman likes getting compliments and flirting a little.”
“Hmm, well, I’m not every woman,” I remarked.
“That was my impression as well,” he murmured, barely audible. We jogged side by side for a while in silence before he spoke again. “Okay, so if I go back to being cheeky and insolent from now on, will you like me better?” There was an unmistakable note of derision in his voice.
I could live with that, at least. I wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that he meant those compliments—because nothing would give me butterflies in my stomach faster . . . But I couldn’t let myself fall for the same trick twice. No way. Even so, I wasn’t going to tell him about my ex-boyfriend. He really didn’t need to know about Toby, and it would just open up old wounds. Stitching them shut had required a lot of painful needlework, and I had no problem avoiding more of that.
“Not answering is an answer, too, you know,” he said when I didn’t react.
I only shrugged. What was I supposed to say? I’d ruined the mood, and nothing I said now was going to smooth things over again.
“Okay, you don’t have to answer,” he said, looking resigned. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of our run.”
“Hey, are you trying to punish me for something?” I asked, slowing down. He’d picked up the pace again at some point, and my legs were threatening to give out under me.
“Not at all, but if we run any slower, I’m going to fall asleep,” he said, and reduced his speed.
“Then I suggest you leave me here,” I panted. Even talking was difficult. “I’m sure you’ll lap me eventually.”
“I think I would, in all probability, but I can’t leave a defenseless girl like you alone in the woods.” He gave me a conspiratorial look.
I laughed. “I’m not defenseless, and at twenty-five, I think I have a right to be called a woman,” I demanded, half-joking.
“Oh, you’re definitely a woman,” he agreed, letting his gaze drift down to the body parts in question.
I blushed and acted as though I hadn’t noticed where he was looking. And you’re definitely a man, I would have liked to say with a glance at his crotch, but clearly I wasn’t that self-confident.
He stopped. “Maybe we should quit for today—I’m already completely out of breath,” he joked, bracing his hands on his knees for support, as though he’d just finished running a marathon. We both knew that I was the only one who was winded, so he was obviously making fun of me, but by now I’d come to appreciate his snarky sense of humor. In fact, I liked him a lot better like this than when he was paying me compliments.
On the way back we half jogged, half walked to cool down. “What’s your address?” he asked once we had reached his car and I was gathering my things. “I can drive you home.”
Was he nuts? “No need, I’ll take the subway,” I said, emerging with my bag.
He turned to give me a reproachful look. “If I remember correctly, you live in Mitte, so it wouldn’t be out of my way,” he said, taking a water bottle out of the glove compartment. When he raised it to his lips and began taking greedy gulps, I found I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the swallowing motions of his throat. But as fascinated as I was by the sight, and by the idea of him chauffeuring me home, I still turned him down. I mean, what next? Let him take me out for pizza and then end up in bed with him? There was no longer any doubt in my mind that he was interested in me, but my impression was that it was purely physical, and that just wasn’t my thing. Plus, there was no way in hell I was going to be another receptionist who jumped into bed with her boss.
“No, I’ll find my own way home,” I repeated with determination, and my sharp tone caused him to lower the bottle in surprise.
“Okay, whatever you want,” he said defensively and put the bottle away. “I was just trying to be polite,” he added as he shooed Kira into the back.
Yeah, yeah, men were just so friendly in the beginning. I was annoyed and felt my mood plummeting rapidly. All of a sudden, I had zero interest in his company anymore—I just wanted to go home. Better to see only the bad things about him and keep myself from developing friendly feelings toward him. That way he couldn’t hurt me. Dark thoughts like those were my defense mechanism. But then I thought about my mother, who had been using the same tactic all her life, and anyone could see where that had gotten her. Was that what I wanted? Didn’t I want to trust a man ever again? Was I planning on being alone forever?
“Or would you rather ride with me after all?” Luca’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Hmm?” I said absentmindedly.
He gave me an amused look. “I said bye, but you didn’t react, and then I asked whether you wanted a ride after all. I often wonder what you’re thinking about when you get that dreamy look on your face,” he said softly.
About you? “I . . . um, no, I’ll be going, then.” I stuffed my wet towel into my backpack. “It was fun,” I added, which earned me a scoff from him.
“Sure, you look like you mean that. See you tomorrow, then. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.” With that, he jumped into his Jeep, started the engine, and drove away. I watched him for a good while before starting off for home myself.
A PREDATORY CAT ON THE PROWL
“Goddammit, I can’t take this!” I groaned, burying my head underneath my pillow. But no matter what position I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep. I lay awake, my mind racing. Once the comparison to my mother had occurred to me, I hadn’t been able to shake the thought. And then, even more irritatingly, I found my thoughts revolving around Luca instead. What if I got involved with him? What if he was completely different from what I’d been assuming? I had no way of knowing whether his intentions were actually dishonorable, right? And so far he hadn’t struck me as an insincere person, either. Had I ever seen him flirt with anyone else in the office? No. Had anyone warned me about him? No. Did he seem like he was a rich, aloof snob? Actually, no. So what was the problem? Oh, right, it was my annoying habit of not trusting men anymore, not a single one, and it was time for me to let go of that mindset.
Before I did that, though, I had to find out more about his past . . . and what better way than to do a little digging around the office? Nothing was more informative than a bunch of gossipy secretaries. So I had a plan.
“Hey, Aileen, what really happened to the woman who was here before me? Should I be worried about how she mysteriously disappeared?” I joked, poking her in the side with a pencil.
Aileen giggled, then glanced around much too casually. “We’re not supposed to talk about it, but she quit two weeks before you started,” she said in a conspiratorial voice.
“How come?” I leaned toward her with interest.
“They say she was in love with Luca, and he didn’t return her feelings, so she quit.”
Yep, that sounded like a cliché office romance, all right.
“And what made her think that he might feel the s
ame way?” I pressed on. “He must have sent her some kind of signals.”
Aileen shrugged. “Well, she was his assistant, so she went places with him a lot, including clubs and events. Who knows what went on between the two of them?” she mused, sounding almost frustrated at having missed that bit of gossip. “I really like Luca a lot, and he seems like a nice guy, but I’ve been working here for a long time, and I’ve seen a lot of secretaries come and go. It’s never ended well between him and his assistants. So let me tell you one thing: you can think he’s attractive, and you can flirt with him, but don’t get involved with him. He would just break your heart, the way he did the girl before you.”
I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat. “I wasn’t planning to,” I lied and went back to my desk. So he was just as bad as I’d feared.
That evening, I accompanied Luca to a business meeting for the first time. I’d only gotten the message two hours before, but he had warned me that I’d be on call sometimes. The meeting was taking place at a cocktail bar near Alexanderplatz, so I had enough time for a quiet meal with Lisa.
Over dinner, she told me about her new crush. “He works at the supermarket near here, usually at the checkout counter. God, he has such gorgeous eyes . . . and that smile of his!” she gushed. “I think he’s French.”
“So talk to him,” I replied with my mouth full.
“And just what am I supposed to say to him at ten in the morning?”
“Well, then, wait until he has a late shift and ask him out for a drink,” I suggested.
“Can’t. He only does the early shift,” she explained, chewing.
I looked up in surprise. “And you know that how?”
“I’ve been watching him for two weeks. He never works late shifts. Maybe he’s a student.”
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