Calculated Magic

by SJD Peterson

  “I don’t believe so.”

  “You never danced in the rain or sang at the top of your lungs like no one was listening?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Have you ever built fairy houses in the backyard, said chants to keep the goblins away, or left sweets on the windowsill for the pixies?” Richard asked, recalling how much fun Tikron’s childhood sounded.

  “Son, fairies, goblins, and pixies do not exist.”

  “But what about when you were a child? Surely you played make-believe games?”

  “Not that I can recall,” she said flatly.

  “No one, not one single person in your family, made premonitions or talked to ghosts or chased fairies?”

  “Son, are you okay? Are you dehydrated or suffering from sleep deprivation?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. Better than okay.”

  “I would recommend you make an appointment with Dr. Psaki. Ask him to run a full Chem 12 panel.”

  “What’s wrong? Is Richard sick?” His dad’s voice sounded through the phone line from a distance.

  “He’s going on and on about fanciful creatures. I fear he may be hallucinating.”

  “Mom! I am not hallucinating. I am not dehydrated. Dr. Psaki recently did a full workup. I’m perfectly healthy. And I slept like a baby last night.”

  “A newborn infant often wakes every one to two hours. Were you able to fall back to sleep quickly?”

  “Ugh! Mom, I’m fine, trust me. I slept a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. I just wanted to know if you’ve ever had any fun in your life. Sheesh.”

  “Define fun?”

  Richard thought about it for a second, trying to think of something less wild than pixies and goblins. “Ever gone to a magic show?”

  “Why would I do that? Magic isn’t real.”

  You’re wrong, so very wrong. He didn’t say it out loud even though he wanted to scream it to the rafters. She wouldn’t believe him and would only respond by recommending a therapist. Besides, it wasn’t his secret to tell. Tikron hadn’t come right out and told him not to tell anyone about his magical powers, but Richard was a smart man. He knew enough to keep the knowledge to himself. He couldn’t prove his claim, and he’d end up sounding like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched.

  “On that note, I’ll let you go,” Richard finally said, knowing the futility of continuing this line of questioning.

  “While I have confidence in Dr. Psaki, it is not unheard of for him or the lab to make a mistake. I suggest a second opinion may be in order.”

  “Thanks for the advice. Say hello to Dad for me. Bye, Mom.”

  Richard ended the call and dropped the phone on the side table. He’d planned on calling Mom and…. He wasn’t sure what his intentions were. Make her laugh? Make her question logic? Have some fun? All he accomplished was confusing her and frustrating himself and coming away feeling profoundly sad. It wasn’t his intention at all.

  He laid his head back and rested it against the sofa. He’d learned the most amazing things, his entire being tingling with excitement since the discovery of magic, and he looked forward to discovering even more fascinating things. One two-minute call to his mom and it was as if she’d thrown a bucket of ice water on the fire burning within him. It made him question his entire life and what he’d missed out on. He remembered reading something once about how people rarely regretted the things they did, rather the things they didn’t do. He had a sneaking suspicion that might very well be true. He already regretted not having danced in the rain once as a child.

  Albert hopped up on the couch next to Richard and nudged Richard’s hand with his cold nose.

  “Hey, pup.” Richard scratched the dog behind his ears. Albert looked up at him with bright brown eyes. The damper the call with Mom put on his mood eased. Albert had always brought him happiness, but now even more so, after he’d nearly lost him. He wouldn’t ever take what Albert brought to his life for granted again, and he damn sure wasn’t going back to his solitary and lonely existence. Tikron brought so much more to his life than just magic. He’d given Richard a new outlook, and whether things worked out between him and Tikron as a couple, Richard refused to go back.

  Catching a glimpse of the clock—it was nearly six thirty—Richard instantly formed a plan. He patted Albert on the head, then went to his feet. He exchanged his sweatpants for slacks, then pulled a sweater on over his T-shirt. He slid into his loafers, grabbed his cell and messenger bag. At the door he waved at Albert and said, “Hold down the fort,” then headed out. He whistled a tune—“Joy to the World”—as he made his way down the stairs and out into the cool early evening air. He continued the melody all the way to the bakery. Outside, he peeked in through the window—only a couple of patrons. He really did need to start coming in on weekends.

  He hid his smile, kept his features neutral, and stepped through the door. He avoided eye contact on the way to his usual table. Once seated, he pulled out a pen and notebook from his messenger bag before setting it on the floor near his feet. He flipped through the book until he found an empty page. Rather than writing down numbers and equations as he’d normally do, he doodled. He drew hearts, swirls, random shapes, and smiley faces.

  “Good evening, Richard.” Andrea set down a mug of hot black coffee and a plate with his boring bran muffin.

  “Good evening.” He took his wallet out and pulled out two twenties. He handed them to her. “For this,” he said, pointing to the muffin. “Could you also bring me a dozen doughnuts?”

  Andrea gawked at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Umm, umm….” She looked down at the money in her hand. “Umm, sure. What kind do you want?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, a variety, but can you make sure there are at least a couple apple fritters and chocolate glazed ones? Oh, and maybe one with sprinkles. I’ve never had one of those.”

  Andrea continued to stare at him in shock for a second, then seemed to catch herself. She picked her jaw up from the floor and hurried away. She had only been gone a couple of minutes when she returned with a large box. She opened the lid to allow Richard to inspect the contents. She’d included the three types he’d asked for, as well as one with a white powder on top and another with a tan frosting. “What are these?”

  “The white one is a raspberry jelly and powdered sugar, and the other is a Canadian maple.”

  “Your favorites?” Richard asked.

  “The maple one is. They’re really good, but if you’d rather have something else?” she offered hesitantly.

  He pursed his lips and pretended to study them. After a couple ticks of the clock, he picked up the maple one with a piece of wax paper, slid the bran muffin off the plate with the back of his hand, and set the doughnut down. He then took another square of wax paper and chose the colorful sprinkled one and set it down in front of him, then took the box and set it on the empty chair next to him.

  He nodded toward the chair opposite him. “Join me?” Andrea hesitated. “Just for a second. Plus, if you want me to try that then you have to eat it first.” He narrowed his eyes. “How do I know you’re not setting me up? Giving me some yucky flavor just to see my reaction. Which, come to think of it, I would probably deserve, but….” He smiled broadly, feeling a little giddy. He liked the feeling. He could certainly get used to the way it made him light and tingly.

  With a dazed expression, Andrea sat in the chair he’d indicated. Her mouth flopped open and closed a couple times, but before she could form a coherent word, Richard’s cell phone rang. He held up a finger. “Hold that thought,” he said with a wink.

  He pulled his phone from his pocket and smiled when Tikron’s name popped up on the display. “Hello.”

  “Hey, where are you? I’m standing outside the door to your apartment.”

  “What time is it?”

  After a short pause, Tikron said, “Six forty-five.” Another short pause and he added, “Oh, the bakery.”

  “Got it in one,” Richard said cheerfully. �
�Why don’t you come join me? I ordered fritters.”

  “On my way.” The phone went dead.

  Richard hung up and returned his phone to his pocket. He then looked at Andrea. “You were saying?”

  “I wasn’t sure what I was going to say,” she admitted. “I’m not even sure why I’m sitting here.”

  “Because I invited you to join me.”

  Andrea cocked her head. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for over a year and you’ve blown me off. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m just a wee bit suspicious and even more freaked out by your offer.”

  “I have been quite rude, haven’t I?”

  “I wouldn’t say rude as much as—”

  “An asshole,” he finished for her.

  “Well, I wouldn’t have said that either. At least not to your face,” Andrea remarked with a cheeky smile. She picked off a piece of her doughnut, popped it into her mouth, then took another piece and handed it to Richard.

  He took the offered treat and tried it. The creamy maple frosting and soft chewy dough was the perfect combination. “Oh. My. God. This is amazing.” He swallowed it down, then took a big bite of his sprinkle doughnut. The same soft chewy dough, but the vanilla flavor infused with the crunch of the sprinkles was heavenly. “Not as good as this one. You have to try this.” He pulled off a piece and handed it to her.

  “I’ve tried it. They are good, aren’t they?” She took the treat anyway and chewed it with a smile.

  “Better than good.”

  The bell over the door jingled, and Richard turned to find Tikron walking in. The wide smile that bloomed across his handsome face when he spotted Richard made Richard’s heart skip a beat.

  Tikron strolled over to the table and kissed Richard’s cheek. “Hi, babe,” he said, then took the only chair available before turning to Andrea. “Hey, Andrea, isn’t it?”

  Richard nearly burst out laughing from the look on Andrea’s face. Shock didn’t even begin to describe it, more like utter disbelief. Totally appropriate considering it was how Richard felt every time Tikron kissed him or touched him. He doubted he’d ever understand why Tikron was attracted to him. He was just ridiculously happy he was.

  After a short pause, Andrea started cracking up and pointed at Richard. “Now I get why you’re so different.” She held out a fist to Tikron. “Dude, your game obviously got better.”

  Tikron bumped his fist lightly against Andrea’s. “It took some convincing, but I finally wore him down.”

  “Hey, you’re a better man than I am woman. What I couldn’t do in over a year, you managed to pull off in a couple weeks. Good on you.”

  Tikron leaned toward Andrea in a conspiratorial manner and in a stage whisper said, “It’s not in the personalities but in the plumbing.”

  Richard’s cheeks heated. He doubted he’d ever be comfortable with talking about sex, especially in public, no matter how vague. He grabbed a fritter from the box and shoved it toward Tikron. “Here.”

  “Oh, babe, you’re so good to me,” Tikron complimented, then happily took the doughnut and took a big bite.

  Richard leaned two things that night. One, talking for a purpose was much more satisfying when that purpose was nothing more than to make others laugh and smile. And two, if he ever needed to shut Tikron up when he was talking about an uncomfortable topic—apple fritters.

  Don’t settle for anything less than magic.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  THEIR bodies still sweat-slick from making love, Tikron ran his fingertips up and down Richard’s back, drawing random patterns. His mind kept drifting back to the bakery. Seeing Richard munching on doughnuts, trying different flavors, smiling and laughing with both him and Andrea, had been unexpected but oh so welcome. Witnessing Richard coming out of his shell and knowing that he had a hand in it was an amazing feeling. And it was only the beginning. At least he hoped it was.

  “I called my mom today,” Richard said hoarsely, his breathing still a little rapid, his damp hair tickling Tikron’s chest.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m not even sure why I called or what I planned to accomplish.”

  “You don’t always need a reason to call a mom.”

  “With mine I do.”

  “Oh, that’s right, it has to be purposeful.”

  “No. Not anymore. At least not how I used to define what that meant.” Richard lifted his head and shifted until he could plant his elbow on the mattress and prop up his chin. “I don’t get to know how things will work out before I attempt them. I don’t get to know if someone will reject me before I meet them. The only thing I have to do is take a chance to find happiness, and I just might, because living the way I was, there is zero chance of finding it.”

  Tikron ran the back of his knuckles gently along Richard’s jaw. “You learned all that from calling your mom?”

  “No. It’s because of you that I have a new understanding of what my objective when conversing with others is.”

  “Which is?”

  “There doesn’t have to be one, and I should focus more on just enjoying the company, and if there are smiles and laughter, all the better.” Richard turned his head and placed a soft kiss on Tikron’s hand. “I have you to thank for the new me.”

  Tikron leaned up, pressed his lips to Richard’s, and spoke against them. “He was always there. You just had to let him out.” He deepened the kiss briefly, then rolled until he had Richard beneath him. “I think we need to shower before we’re permanently stuck together.”

  Richard wrapped his arms around Tikron, pressing down on Tikron’s ass while thrusting upward. “Would that be such a bad thing?”

  “Not at all, but we might get a little stinky.” Tikron chuckled.

  “You could wiggle your nose and make us all shiny and clean.”

  “Now what would be the fun in that?” Tikron rolled again, went to his feet, and grabbed Richard’s hand. “C’mon. I’ll wash your back if you’ll wash mine.”

  Richard groaned, but he allowed Tikron to lead him into the bathroom. Sure he could “wiggle his nose,” as Richard put it, but then he’d miss out on the chance to get his hands on Richard’s luscious bod. He set the taps, then gestured toward the shower stall.

  Richard stood beneath the flow, tilted his head back, and groaned. “Oh God. This feels good.”

  “Going to feel even better in a second,” Tikron promised him. He picked up the shampoo bottle from the shelf, poured a good amount into his palm, then worked it into Richard’s hair. Richard’s groan turned into a long, low, satisfied moan. “Told you,” Tikron whispered.

  “Yes, you did. I’m going to have to trust you more often.”

  “I want you to always trust me. With everything.” He moved his soapy hands down Richard’s back, kneading the tight muscles he found from shoulder to hip.

  “If you keep doing that, I will say and do anything you want.”

  Tikron found a sponge on the tile shelf and filled it with bodywash. He leisurely scrubbed Richard’s arms, his hands, down one leg and back up the other. In the back of his mind, urgencies raced. His entire world could end soon, and yet he wasn’t willing to miss this moment, determined to enjoy each and every second of life he had left, whether that meant another week or another hundred years. Each single moment defined living, not the length of said life. He really wasn’t all that different from Richard or a countless number of other people. He’d gone from one day, one year, one century to the next holding back a large part of himself, never fully giving in to the experience of the moment. Too afraid of being hurt, frightened to feel the pain of heartbreak, and in doing so, he hadn’t lived his life to the fullest. Well, no more. No matter how much time he had left, he was going savor it and Richard.

  Once the backside was done, Tikron encouraged Richard to turn around. Richard watched him with lust-filled eyes, moaning deeply when he gently rubbed the sponge over his groin. He shuddered, then closed his eyes briefly.

  “My turn,” Richar
d announced and took the sponge from Tikron. He added more bodywash, then ran it over Tikron’s chest. “I’m glad I was wrong.”

  “Are we back to the call with your mom?”

  “No. Actually, that too, but I was talking about how it would have been nice to be still lying in bed. This makes me ridiculously happy.”

  “It’s all about taking chances.”

  “Uh-huh. I agree, and I think I’ll take a chance on this.” He leaned in and sucked one of Tikron’s nipples into his mouth, teasing it with teeth and tongue.

  A jolt of lust raced down Tikron’s spine. “You’re asking for it,” he warned.

  Richard released the hard nub and looked up at Tikron from beneath long wet lashes, a sly smile forming on his lips. “Yes, I am.” He took Tikron’s other nipple into his mouth, giving it the same attention.

  Tikron gritted his teeth and rolled his hands into fists to keep from going Neanderthal and carrying Richard back to bed. He loved this playful, outgoing side of Richard and wasn’t about to discourage it. But it was difficult. Richard continued to move around Tikron’s body, washing and teasing him yet avoiding the area where Tikron wanted to feel his touch the most.

  He was trembling with need by the time Richard finally, finally passed the sponge over Tikron’s groin. It was all he could take, and in one deft move, he wrapped Richard into a bear hug, lifted him off his feet, and carried him to bed. “That’s it. You’re getting it now.”

  “Hey, you forgot to turn off the taps.” Richard laughed, not even trying to get away from Tikron’s embrace.

  Tikron dumped Richard on the bed, and before he could even bounce once, Tikron was on him. “Water wastefulness should be the least of your concerns. You really should be worried about walking tomorrow.”

  Richard went still for a moment, eyes wide. Then the sly smile was firmly back in place. “I’ll take my chances.”

  Committed to his new resolve, Tikron savored the first press of lips, and the rest of Richard, all night long.