by J. M. Pierce
Cliff turned with lightning speed, causing Test to take a step backward. “They’re already dead, Test! What can possibly happen to us now that’s worse than what’s already happened?”
Test’s fury within began to burn as he clenched his fists at his sides. “What in the hell is your problem? You think I don’t think about that!” he shouted as two birds rushed from a nearby tree. “You think I don’t live with the fact that Alyssa is dead because of me?”
“Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself,” barked Cliff as he stepped into Test’s space. “I’m not talking about that and you know it. The fact is that there are two people—whether they’re dead or alive doesn’t matter—that need you in their lives. If you can’t commit to that, then don’t string them along for the ride.”
Test’s voice roared through the forest. “I’m not stringing anyone along for anything! I love Alyssa and I’d do anything for her! ANYTHING!” Test watched as a grin appeared on Cliff’s lips and then noticed his eyes beginning to well with tears. The sight of it was staggering; he’d never seen the old man show so much emotion or pain.
Suddenly, Cliff’s form began to wave and shimmer in the afternoon sun. A fog seemed to wash over him, as if he was being erased, but beneath his form, another appeared. Test watched in shock as Cliff’s features morphed into Alyssa’s.
“What the hell?” he asked in a breathless voice. “When the hell did you…,” he paused, stunned beyond belief. “How long have you been able to do that?” he asked.
Alyssa looked to the ground. With a shameful expression embedded on her face, she looked up to Test with tears streaming. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But I had to know.”
His anger replaced with total and utter confusion, Test rubbed his eyes and forcefully exhaled. “Had to know what?”
“What you were thinking,” she replied as she folded her arms across her chest. “How you really felt.”
Test closed his eyes and took a deep breath as his mind was racing in circles trying to understand the situation. Though he felt somewhat betrayed, the anguish in her voice steered him away from a knee-jerk reaction. Instead of getting upset, he reached out his hand to Alyssa, but his heart sank as she only looked at it. “Why didn’t you just ask me?” he asked as he lowered his arm.
“Why should I have to?” she replied.
Test took a step forward and touched her arm. She spun away from him and stared at the ground. “Alyssa, I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything.”
Wanting to take her into his arms, he was fearful that she would once again release the use of his power and vanish to the other side. “I love you,” he said tenderly. “Yes, I want to spend the rest of our days together, for however long that may be. I hope it is eternity.” He waited for her to respond, but aside from a quick glance, she remained motionless.
“When I was a little girl,” she began as she stared at the gound, “I played with dolls. I would pretend that I was their mommy and would do everything for them. As I got older, I started thinking about what it would be like to be a real mom. I even wrote down my favorite names. Most of them were girls’ names, because that’s just always what my dolls were, but I did have some boy names picked out too.”
A lump began to develop in Test’s throat. “One of them was Aiden?” he asked softly.
She looked up to him. “No, it wasn’t. The point is that I always wanted to be a mother and have a family.” As the tears began to roll from her eyes, she chewed on her bottom lip, struggling for composure. She looked up to the sky and then lowered her gaze to Test. “Don’t you see, Test? This is the only chance I’ll ever have at being a mother. You, me, and Aiden…it’s the only chance I’ll ever have at having a family of my own.”
Test felt as though the wind had just been knocked out of him. Unable to come up with the words, he pulled her into him and held her tightly. Somewhere, not far away, a bird began to sing a song and the breeze picked up, setting the leaves to gently rustle.
Kissing the top of her head, Test pulled her from his chest and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Well, I guess we’d better not let this chance go to waste then, should we?”
“You’re just saying that,” replied Alyssa as she wiped her eyes. “You don’t mean it.”
Taking her firmly by the arms, Test leaned into her and looked her straight in the eyes. “Yes, I do. I love you and that means that what is important to you is important to me. We are going to be a family.”
Nearly collapsing into him, Alyssa released the emotion she’d been keeping inside. Test held her and swore that he would never let her feel pain like that again. As he caressed the back of her hair, he suddenly felt a tug at his shirt. Craning his neck, he looked down and to his right to see little Aiden standing with a grin.
“Are we happy again?” asked the little boy in a tiny, innocent voice.
Alyssa lifted her head and looked down at him. She quickly took him into her arms and leaned back into Test who wrapped his arms around the both of them.
An unimaginable warmth flooded Test’s body and, for the first time, he began to understand his future. It may have come to him slowly, but he finally realized that he held his future in his arms.
As Alyssa kissed Aiden on the cheek, his heart swelled with pride as he looked down at his family. With more love and truth than he’d spoken at any other time in his life, he whispered into Aiden’s ear. “As long as we stay together, buddy, that’s all we need to be happy.”
Chapter 29
Their entrance into the house was met with a discrete tension. The air felt thick as Test, Alyssa, and Aiden walked into the living room to find Lauren curled up in a blanket and sleeping soundly on the couch. Stopping the instant they saw her, they backed out and headed toward the kitchen where Iku and Prim sat at the table.
“Can I draw?” asked Aiden.
Alyssa looked to both Iku and Prim. “Do you mind if we join you?” she asked quietly, trying not to wake Lauren in the other room.
As if coming out of a fog, Prim pushed himself back from the table and then pulled out the chair beside him. “Yeah, sure,” he replied.
Test took Aiden’s hand, walked him to the table, and lifted him into the seat as Alyssa went to the counter to get a pen and some paper. As he pushed Aiden’s chair in, Test could see clearly the pain Prim was dealing with. “Did you talk to her?” he asked.
Prim glanced up as he rubbed his now stubbly chin. “Yeah.”
Test walked around the table and took a seat opposite of him. “How’d it go?” he asked with a measure of care.
Prim raised his eyebrows and sighed deeply. “It was hard, but I think she understands.” He threw his hands in the air and then let them fall hard on the table. “Hell, I don’t know.”
“It’s hard for her,” said Alyssa as she placed the pen and paper in front of Aiden. “She’s worried about you. And let’s face it; asking Lauren to be passive is about like asking a politician not to lie. The odds of it happening, regardless of what is agreed upon, are slim.”
Prim turned in his seat to look at her. “What are you saying? That you think she’ll go even though she told me she wouldn’t?”
Alyssa’s eyes flared as she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “Not necessarily. I’m just saying that for someone like Lauren—someone who is as strong willed as she is—sitting on the sidelines isn’t going to be an easy thing for her to do.” She glanced to Test. “It’s going to be hard enough for me.”
Prim glanced to her and then to Test. “She’s not going?” he asked.
Looking nervously to Alyssa and then down to the table, Test replied while tapping his fingers. “No. She’s going to stay here and look after Aiden.”
A sudden glimmer of hope appeared on Prim’s face. “Can you keep an eye on Lauren for me?” he asked.
Though she knew she would have no control over Lauren what-so-ever, she replied with a sweet smile as she placed a hand on Prim’s shoulder. �
�Of course.”
Suddenly realizing that the old man wasn’t around, Test asked, “Where’s Cliff?”
Iku answered through a yawn as he clasped his hands in front of him. “He went ahead to Kansas City to be with his son.”
To Test, it was obvious that Iku had grown bored with waiting and, though he yawned once again, his incessantly bouncing legs showed the jitters that were hiding just beneath the surface. “When do we leave?” asked Test.
“Yes,” asked Iku as he looked to Prim. “When do we leave?”
The echo brought a surprise smile to Test’s face as he waited for Prim to respond.
“I suppose any time,” Prim replied. “The old man should be done filling Thad in by now.”
Iku pushed himself away from the table and stood quickly. “Yes, we should go. There’s no telling how much time we have until the twins act.”
Prim stood as well and raised his arms high over his head in a stretch. “Okay then, let me go say goodbye to Lauren and we’ll hit the road.”
Test watched Prim and knew that everyone else in the room was thinking the same thing as he was. They didn’t want to be around when the goodbyes were said.
“I’m going to wait outside,” said Iku as he pushed in his chair.
Prim nodded and then watched as Iku left the room. Turning back to Test, when he spoke, his pain was nearly palpable. “I’ll make it quick.”
Leaning back in his chair, Test replied as he looked to Alyssa. “Take your time and make it count.”
Prim pursed his lips and then turned and walked away, leaving Test, Alyssa, and Aiden alone in the kitchen.
Alyssa pulled out the chair of which Prim just pushed in and sat next to Aiden. “He really seems to be having a tough time.”
With a deep sigh, Test placed his chin on his fists as his elbows rested on the table. “Yep—leaving behind the ones you love is tough,” he replied with a smirk.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Alyssa replied. “I could just make myself look like Prim so she thinks he stayed.”
Test rested his arms back on the table. “Hey, about that,” he began. “When did you figure out you could do that? I didn’t even know it was possible.”
Alyssa giggled under her breath. “I had this little kid come visit me all the time when I was…” she shrugged her shoulders, “well, you know, alive, and he was amazing at it. It became a game between us to see if I could guess if it was him or not.” She leaned forward on the table. “It caused some embarrassing and uncomfortable moments between me and Uncle E once in a while, but it was fun.”
“But how did you figure out how to do it?” asked Test.
“Believe it or not,” she said playfully, “I have quite a bit of free time when you’re sleeping. Besides, it’s nothing new to you really. Haven’t you ever wondered why Cliff was able to appear to you as his younger self?”
Test’s face blushed hotly as a smile so large it hurt his cheeks took a hold of his face. “Point taken—still, impersonating Prim probably isn’t the best idea.”
“I know; I was only trying to lighten the mood a little,” replied Alyssa.
With a forced chuckle, Test’s glanced to Aiden who drew stick figures quietly on the notepad in front of him. “What are you drawing, buddy?”
Without answering, Aiden held up the notepad. The image was of three stick figures, one with long hair, one tall, and one short in the middle. The sticks representing arms had been drawn so that they appeared as if they were holding hands.
“Is that us?” asked Test.
“Yep,” replied Aiden as he lowered the notepad and continued to draw.
Alyssa put her arm around Aiden and watched in silence. Whatever mood lightening she had done moments before had suddenly been erased as the reality of Test’s departure returned to her thoughts.
After a moment of silent reflection, she felt Test’s eyes upon her. “I guess this is it then, huh?” she said quietly, scared to look at him.
Test reached out across the table and took her hands into his. “No—this is not it. This is just see you soon, okay?” He watched as she glanced up and the long, tragic expression on her face nearly drove him insane. He stood from the table and walked around to her. Pulling her from the chair and into his arms, he held her tightly as Prim’s voice came from the doorway.
“Time to go,” he said somberly.
Test turned his head, not ready to let go of Alyssa just yet. “One more minute, okay?” he asked.
Prim nodded as he bowed out of the door way. “One minute.”
Alyssa’s grip on him was intense. He didn’t think that a tornado would be strong enough to separate her from him. He kissed the top of her head and then rested his cheek atop it. “I have to go,” he whispered.
“I know,” she replied, though her grip remained strong.
Test reached out to his side towards Aiden and ruffled his hair. “You take care of things, okay? You’re the man of the house,” he said with a wink as the boy looked up to him.
“How long are you going to be gone?” asked Aiden.
Alyssa pulled away slightly and watched Test as she waited for the answer.
Test looked to her, though replying to Aiden, and answered as honestly as he could. “Not long, buddy. Not long.”
The pain of saying goodbye was something not unfamiliar to Test, but this time was different. Never before had he had so much to say goodbye to. Never before had he had a better reason to return.
Chapter 30
The three of them had gathered outside the house in New Mexico and, with barely a word spoken, Iku, Prim, and Test phased into the Shadow realm and raced to Kansas City. When they arrived, the words were still far and few in between as Thad opened the door.
Iku felt anxious as the young man stared at him fearfully. He suppressed his reflex to cover his eye and wished for the first time in a long time that he still had the long hair to hide behind. Waiting just a few steps past the front door, Iku waited for Thad to close it and then, swallowing his hesitance, offered his hand to him.
“Hello. My name is Ikuhabe,” he stated in a proud voice. “But friends may call me Iku.”
Thad glared rudely at the native’s broken face, only realizing after several seconds that the stranger had extended his hand. Reluctantly, he shook it.
“Uh, hello, Ikuhiebe,” he replied, mispronouncing the strangers name as he glanced over his shoulder to Cliff who was standing in the living room. “My name is Thad, but I guess you probably already knew that.”
“Ikuhabe,” answered Iku, correcting Thad’s pronunciation. “My name is Ikuhabe, but as I said, friends may call me Iku.”
From the living room, Cliff spoke in a raised voice. “Boy, just call the man Iku and stop starin’ at his eye. It’s rude.”
Thad’s eyes grew wide with embarrassment as he folded his arms across his chest. “I’m sorry,” he muttered while trying to avoid looking at Iku without focusing on his eye. “That was very rude of me.”
Iku chuckled and slapped Thad on the side of the shoulder. “Do not worry yourself, my friend. It is not the first, nor will it be the last, time that it has happened.” Iku turned to look at Prim as he remembered sitting at the bar while they were on the east coast. He’d halfway expected a smirk from Prim, but he hadn’t even been paying attention. Instead, while Test had gone to the kitchen, Prim had taken a seat on the couch and sat quietly.
Iku folded his arms in the same manner as Thad and waited patiently for someone to say something. This wasn’t his home and he wanted to make sure that he was respectful, even though its owner inadvertently hadn’t been.
After rocking on his heals for several moments, Thad snapped to and extended his left arm towards the living room. “I’m sorry. I guess I can’t help but be rude today,” he said to Iku. “Have a seat wherever you’d like.”
Iku bowed his head in thanks and took a seat on the end opposite of Prim.
“So, boys,” said Cliff as he glanced into th
e kitchen to see Test standing in the opened door of the fridge. “What’s the plan?”
Prim could feel everyone looking to him, but the truth was he had nothing. He couldn’t stop thinking about Lauren and the baby. He looked up to the old man. “Why are you looking at me?” he asked harshly. “I don’t have the answer.”
Cliff held a hand up defensively. “Easy,” he replied. “The question was for everybody.”
Prim glowered at the old man for a minute and turned to look at Test as he walked into the room. “You’re the all-powerful Test, what’s your idea?” he asked mockingly. He leaned back on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. “Personally, I don’t see how we can win.”
Though Test knew what Prim was going through, he was still confused by his actions and words. It was becoming apparent that Prim was not at all what he thought when they’d met the year before, and he now saw how he was the perfect match for Lauren.
As Test stood motionless in thought, Prim rubbed his face and muttered under his breath. “This is stupid. We never should have come.”
Unable to filter his thoughts, Test spoke the first words that came to his mind. “Well why don’t you just go home then?”
In a flash, Prim was standing with arms to his side; his energy flaring brightly as he glared at Test. He fully expected Test to respond in the same manner, but was surprised to watch him only shake his head.
Though inside he was set to rage, Test looked at Prim with a naked, pitiful expression. “It seems like just yesterday you were lecturing me about self-control; am I wrong?”
Cliff looked back and forth between Prim and Test and swelled with pride as he watched the younger Shadow demonstrate such control. Turning to Prim, Cliff spoke. “The boy’s right; fightin’ each other sure as heck isn’t going to help us any.” He walked towards Test and stood beside him while looking at Prim. “I don’t know what you and Iku know, but from what I’ve heard, this boy that this wonderful government of ours created sounds like he’d make Isaac look like a match stick man.”