by J. M. Pierce
Aiden looked at Test and then back to Destin several times before speaking. “He looks like you,” he replied, his breathing becoming more steady.
Both Alyssa and Test laughed.
“He sure does, doesn’t he?” replied Alyssa as she tickled Aiden’s stomach.
Destin viewed the honesty of the scene before him with the realization that he’d never seen anything like it in his short time in the world. “Where is Ashley?” he thought to himself. “Why am I alone?”
With a pit growing in his stomach, the realization that Test and the woman were telling the truth took his breath away. He felt dizzy as his sadness began to turn to rage. In a heartbeat, the furnace had been lit, and he had no control over how hot it would burn. “You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?” he asked.
With a furrowed brow and softened eyes, Test replied. “I’m afraid so, Destin. But that doesn’t mean…”
Before Test could finish his sentence, the entire room began to vibrate. The waves of energy pushed into him from behind like a wrecking ball and he spun to look down the corridor. As he turned back to Destin, an all too familiar white flash erupted in front of him. He threw his forearm over his face to shield his eyes and, when he lowered it, Destin was gone.
Chapter 36
The vibration stopped just as Destin slipped into the room containing the other clones. He didn’t know why he’d come this way; he didn’t know anything anymore. Though he tried to fight the urge to look to his right, he caught himself looking out of the corner of his eye at one of the babies lying on the floor. He examined its face and found himself walking unconsciously towards the body to look closer.
As he stood over the first body, he looked around and saw another infant sprawled grotesquely amongst the pieces of stainless steel that had once contained it. He looked around and saw yet another. Each of their faces were identical.
He thought about everything that he knew, questioning what was the truth and what was lies. He knew nothing but what Casper and Ashley had taught him. Standing with his legs spread slightly, he felt the bitterness and anger within him swell. He lowered his head and, with his eyes closed, could see the flashing lights from within his arms move faster and with more intensity. A sudden push on the right side of his body caused him to spin. Just in front of the door stood Test.
Overcome with emotion, Destin’s tears began to fall as he turned away from Test. He began to throw his arms forward, like a child trying to paddle in deep water. With each flail a pulse was released, sending shrapnel flying in all directions. He turned, in a semi-circle, continuing his attack on the room with blind fury. The wall along the back side of the room began to buckle as the repeated pulses of energy slammed into it.
Remaining by the door, Test could only watch. He knew exactly how Destin was feeling. He remembered the feelings of abandonment; the feeling of being alone in the world. He recalled there being a time when he felt lost and that there was no way out. He watched as everything in the room was turned to rubble. It wasn’t until he noticed the buckling wall that he decided to act.
Stepping forward, he fought against the waves of energy coming off of the boy. As he got closer, his ears began to pop from the pressure and he could feel his cheeks flapping as though he were standing amid a tornado. With a final pop, he dropped to a knee as a searing pain stabbed within his right ear. He cupped his hand over it and felt the warmth of the blood oozing from it.
With sheer determination, he lifted his head and stood against the force of the waves. Lifting his right leg to take a step forward, he phased to the spirit realm and raced towards Destin. As he reappeared, the force of the waves was magnified tenfold as he clutched the boy from the back, wrapping his arms tightly around his chest.
“Destin!” he shouted. “It’s okay!”
As Destin continued to struggle, Test’s vision blurred beyond the ability to see anything clearly. The only thing that he could make out was the motion of the energy as it raced down Destin’s arms.
“Stop it!” screamed Test as he felt unconsciousness looming. “Let me help you!”
Suddenly, his vision cleared and he felt Destin’s body become rigid. Within seconds, the boy’s full weight was in Test’s arms. As his head began to clear, he lowered Destin to the ground and propped him up on a bent knee.
The boy’s face was pale and his pupils were wide. The fingers of his right hand were clutching his shirt over his chest so tightly that his knuckles were white.
“What’s wrong?” asked Test in a panic.
Destin’s head lolled from left to right as his mouth hung open gasping for air while his eyes rolled in their sockets.
“Talk to me, kid? What’s going on?” shouted Test as he took Destin’s chin between his fingers to steady his head. He watched as Destin’s mouth began to form words, but he couldn’t hear. He leaned down further and, with their noses nearly touching asked him to say the words again. With his ear to Destin’s lips, he heard the words in a wispy, labored voice.
“I’m sorry.”
As Test began to lift his head, he felt Destin’s body go limp. He rolled his head and saw the boy’s eyes staring blankly at the ceiling as his lower jaw hung loosely to the side.
“No need for you to be sorry,” said Test with a quivering voice. “You didn’t fail anyone; this world failed you.”
A tear rolled down his cheek as a flash of light appeared from the far corner of the room. Emotionally and physically exhausted, he glanced up slowly to see Lauren supporting a badly battered Prim with his arm draped around her. Limping by her side, a mixture of spit and blood dropped from the corner of Prim’s mouth as they stepped away from the bodies of the lab workers and towards Test.
Their march carried the feel of a funeral procession; each step carried a mournful cadence that seemed to want to delay the next. Stopping a couple of feet away, both Prim and Lauren looked upon Test as he cradled the body of the dead boy with a deep sense of sorrow. Though neither of them knew anything of what had happened between Test and the boy, they could see that Test was hurting.
“Is he?” asked Lauren, stopping herself from completing the question. The pain on Test’s face as he looked to her with a subtle nod cut into her as though it were a knife.
“It’s not fair,” said Prim, his voice sounding like he’d just swallowed a handful of sand. “He didn’t have to die.”
Test looked up to him. Having felt Destin’s full wrath on two occasions, he was surprised to hear the comment come from Prim’s lips. “This is never going to stop, is it?” he asked.
Lauren angled her head and replied softly. “What do you mean?”
Test took a deep breath, trying to suppress the volatile emotions he was feeling. “The pain,” he said somberly. “We are always going to be hiding, aren’t we? We will never be at peace. This,” he motioned to the room around him, “is what we are destined for.”
“That’s not true,” replied Lauren as she released Prim to stand on his own. Making sure he was stable before she continued, she patted him on the chest and knelt down beside Destin’s body. “Nothing is ever as hopeless as it seems, Test. I can tell you that for a fact.” She watched as the tears began to flow harder down his cheeks, every other one coming to rest on Destin’s chest. Reaching out and wiping them away, she continued. “I once thought that there was no hope.” He looked away from her and she placed a finger on his chin to guide his eyes back to hers. “And then I met a little boy.” Though her eyes began to swell as well, a smile graced her lips. “Something changed in me that day I first saw you in your crib. Seeing you and thinking of the hope you could bring to our kind—the hope that one day you would destroy Isaac and set me free—you changed everything for me.” Her hair hanging in her face, she tucked it behind her ear and rested a hand on Destin’s chest. “He was not meant for this world, Test. I can’t imagine how strange and difficult this has been for you.” She looked down to Destin and realized that there was a fresh cut on his left cheek,
very similar in position to the scar on Test’s own face. “I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through, but know that we’ll always be here for you.” She leaned forward and cupped his cheek in her palm. “Don’t give up hope. The only things that aren’t possible are the things you give up hoping for.”
Test pressed his face into Lauren’s hand. Her words made sense, but they didn’t make him feel any differently. It was clear to him that the only way he could find peace was to not be a part of this world any longer. Manufacturing a smile, he looked down to Destin and then back to her. “Thank you,” he whispered. As he looked to Prim, he suddenly felt the pull of a spirit from the main door. Hoping that it was Destin, he quickly turned to look. What he saw confirmed what it was he had to do.
Standing just in front of the door was Alyssa who was holding Aiden in her arms. To her left were Iku and Lieutenant Richardson. But it was the sight of Cliff holding the hand of Destin to her right that took his breath away.
Gently resting Destin’s body on the floor, Test stood and was met by Alyssa as she took him into her arms.
“It’s over,” she said.
A lump sat heavily in his throat as he replied. “No, it isn’t.”
Leaning back with her arms around his waist, she glared deeply into his eyes. “Why would you say that?” she asked.
Motioning for Aiden to join them, he felt yet another sense of confirmation come over him. Twisting out of Alyssa’s embrace, he took his son into his arms and hugged him tightly.
“There’s one more thing I have to do,” said Test.
As he held Aiden, each member of what he considered to be family crowded around them.
“What are you talkin’ about, son?” asked Cliff, Destin still clutching the old man’s hand.
“I have to go away,” replied Test as the lump returned to his throat.
“What do you mean you have to go away?” asked Alyssa. “I don’t understand.”
Turning to Lauren, Test handed Aiden off to her. As he turned back to Alyssa, he reached out with both hands and pulled her closer to him. “There’s never going to be any peace for us… not as long as I’m alive.” Test felt an errant tear leak from the corner of his right eye. “It’s the only way we…”
“No!” shouted Alyssa. “What are you saying—that you want to die? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You can’t be serious!”
He stared at her for a moment, hoping that with each second that passed she would calm, but she didn’t. Her face twisted with the pain that the thought of losing him instilled.
“Of course I don’t want to die,” he said, placing a hand on her waist and running his fingers through her hair. “But as long as I’m alive, they’re never going to stop this.”
“Who are they?” asked Alyssa. “Test, the Reapers are gone!” She looked to Lauren for confirmation and received a subtle nod.
With a defeated sigh, Test replied. “It’s not the Reapers, Alyssa—it’s the world!” He released her and turned slowly as he spoke to everyone. “I set the ball in motion years ago. Prim, how many years did you live in peace before I came along?” As he looked to Prim, the battered Shadow lowered his gaze to the floor. “You know I’m right,” continued Test. “Each of you is here, only because I came into your life! I have to…” He paused and tried to collect himself. With begging eyes, he looked to Alyssa. “Please—let me make this right.”
She stared at him with her arms folded across her chest. Slowly, her head began to shake from side to side, increasing in force with each change of direction. “No,” she said forcefully. “That’s not the only way.”
“But it is,” replied Test.
“No, it’s not,” replied Alyssa poking a finger into his chest. “Now shut up and listen to me.” Test leaned back and she leaned forward into him. “It’s easy. You walk out of here in the spirit world. I’ll take on your form, walk up, provoke them, and let them shoot me.”
“And then what are you going to do?” asked Test. “Are you going to lie on the ground until they come and get you? Are you going to let them zip you up into a body bag? Besides that, how are you going to remain solid without one of us standing by your side giving you the energy you need?”
“There’s enough juice up top to feed an army of spirits!” she shouted back.
“Wait a minute!” shouted Lauren, stepping between the two of them. “Whether you choose your chicken shit way or not, they can still have your DNA anywhere in this very building or who knows where else!” Her eyes burned as she stared unblinking at Test. “You being gone won’t stop them from trying again.”
Test nodded. “You’re right. It could be anywhere in this building, which is exactly why I’m going to destroy it...” he looked to Alyssa and then quickly looked away. “I’m going to destroy it from the inside out.”
“Boy, will you quit talking in riddles and just come out with it?” barked Cliff as he released Destin’s hand.
Turning to his old friend, Test’s mind stumbled as he tried to formulate his thoughts into words. “I’m going to make this place implode on itself,” he replied. “I’m going to stand right here, and do everything in my power to incinerate it all and bring everything above crashing down to fill the void.” He turned back to Alyssa and reached out a hand. When she didn’t take it, he took a step towards her and took her shoulders into his hands. “Of course I don’t want to die,” he said softly. “I don’t know if I can survive it or not. When we fought Isaac, I dropped into the earth and rose up, didn’t I?” He watched as Alyssa nodded tearfully.
“So you know how to do it again?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Not really,” he replied. “I’m hoping instinct kicks in like it did the first time and it will just happen.”
Her voice cracking, Alyssa responded. “Test, you’re talking about a mountain coming down on you. Don’t you have to be in this world when using your power to bring it down?”
“Yes.”
“Then how are you going to keep from getting cr…”
Test reached out and pressed his index finger to her lips. Turning to Lauren, he replied with a grin. “We just have to have hope.”
A moment of silence washed over the room and, within it, a faint series of sounds could be heard coming from the other side of the main door. Slowly turning towards it, Richardson looked over his shoulder as he strode past the group. “I’ll check it out,” he said before disappearing from the room.
“We’re runnin’ out of time, I’m afraid,” said Cliff.
Biting his bottom lip, Test nodded. “Agreed.” He looked back to Alyssa. “Take Aiden and go home. One way or another—in one form or another—I’ll meet you there.”
Alyssa shook her head. “I can’t let you…”
“Alyssa, please?” interrupted Test. “This has to happen, otherwise…”
Richardson’s voice burst through the room. “There’s a dozen soldiers outside the door.”
“You’ve got to get them away,” replied Test. Turning to Lauren and Prim, he continued. “They don’t know the Lieutenant is dead. If you guys all get down the hall and then come back with Richardson pretending he’s still alive, they’ll follow his orders.”
“What if they don’t?” asked Richardson.
Glaring into the Lieutenant’s eyes, Test spoke sternly as another clang from outside the tunnel was heard. “See that they do.”
Suddenly, Test found himself wrapped in Alyssa’s embrace.
“Don’t do this,” she whispered in his ear.
“I have to,” he whispered back. Giving her a gentle squeeze, he then pulled her away. “It’s time for all of you to go.”
With a lost look on her face, Alyssa stepped to Test’s side and took Aiden from Lauren’s arms. Without looking back, the two of them disappeared.
“Get going,” said Test as he looked to Lauren. “I’ll catch up.” She only stood there and glared at him. “GO!” shouted Test as he ignited with color. He thought h
e saw a tear fall just before she phased out of sight with Prim following her in the next breath. One by one, the spirits faded from view, until only Cliff was left.
“What are you waiting for?” asked Test.
The old man stepped to him. “I’m proud of you, son,” said Cliff with a slight tremble to his voice. “Just make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons.”
“I am,” replied Test.
Cliff rolled his head back and looked at Test with a furrowed brow. “And what’s that?” asked Cliff. “Redemption for things you’ve done in the past?”
“No,” answered Test. “For the chance at a future.”
With a step forward, Cliff slapped Test on the shoulder and gave Test a wink. “Yep—like I said. I’m proud of you, son.”
Test bowed his head slightly as Cliff faded from view. Standing alone in the room, he watched the pulses of light as they traveled methodically down his arms. He felt a peace wash over him as he traveled back in his mind; back to the beginning.
He closed his eyes and remembered sitting in first period with Mark. He thought about the home he’d grown up in and could still smell the stale beer and cigarette smoke as if he were there. He thought about his mom and felt the hopelessness that he’d once felt when in her presence. He remembered how Nicole looked standing in the sun. And then, though he hadn’t read it or even thought of it in far too long, he remembered the poem that he’d written for her.
As he opened his eyes to watch the light running through his body, he spoke the words aloud. “Every time I see the light coming, I know the sunset’s not far behind.” Though the metaphorical use of the term sunset was synonymous with the end to many people, for Test, it had always meant the beginning. It had always meant hope. Life in the light of day had always been painful. When he was younger, he wanted the stars, he wanted the dreams that his subconscious could deliver.
He’d spent his childhood being invisible. He lived in a world that made him feel like a shadow lost in the darkness. As the feelings of those days swelled through him, he realized that, for the first time in his life, he found himself looking forward to the sunset like never before.