by Lori L. Otto
“Sophia?” I ask when she comes back.
“New housekeeper,” she explains, setting down a basket of warm pastries. They smell too good to ignore, so I take one and begin taking off the wrapper as I stare at my mother, waiting for her response. Finally, she looks at me, a strange smile on her face.
“Nathan,” she says, taking a deep breath. “I have dreaded this day for a long time.”
“Mom,” I start, but she holds her hand up to stop me.
“I just knew that, one day, you’d come and tell me that one of your girlfriends was pregnant. Honestly, I’m just surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”
I nod, looking down, moderately ashamed that she expected this from me. I deserve that. Not a moment later, though, I’m grateful I’m having this conversation about Emi and not a previous girlfriend.
“That being said, honey,” she continues. “I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing… because you’re meant to be with her. Maybe it’s not the best timing, but if it’s going to happen to two people, why not two people like you, who have such a great history together. It can only mean good things for your future.”
I laugh to myself. “Yeah, that’s what I keep trying to tell her, but she’s not speaking to me right now.”
“But she will,” she says with confidence. “She’ll come around.”
“She won’t marry me. I asked.”
“Well, it is a little reactionary. You just told me you weren’t ready to ask her. But why isn’t she speaking to you?”
“She wants some time to figure out what she wants to do.”
“What do you mean? She’s not thinking about an abortion, is she?” my mother asks, grasping my hand, a pained expression on her face.
“No, she assured me that was not an option.”
“Good,” she sighs as she places a hand over her heart. “Then what is there to figure out?”
“She mentioned adoption–”
“Out of the question!” my mother says abruptly. “I’ll take–”
“Mom,” I interrupt her, “I just think she needs some time to accept what’s going on. I won’t let her do that… but I’m going to give her space to figure this out on her own. She’s a free thinker… but she always seems to make the right decision.”
“So you want to raise it, then?” she asks.
“Undoubtedly. I want to be a family. She may not be ready for it now… and I can see why she has doubt… mainly about me. But I am certain about her. You know, I’ve been biding my time for years, but ever since I went to LA, things have just been so clear, so obvious to me. I’m sure this should freak me out, but it doesn’t. I want to marry her. I will. I didn’t get involved with her as a temporary thing. I was confident we would share our futures together, and I still am. It may take some time to prove to her that I’m here to stay, so I’ll give her that. I’d give her anything.”
“Nathan, darling,” my mother says. “I am so proud of you. Just in the past few months you’ve become the man I knew you were destined to be. You’re finally getting recognition for your artwork, and you’ve finally figured out the place that Emi fits into your life.”
She hugs me tightly, and blots her watery eyes when she pulls back. “What did she say about moving in? Is that part of what she’s trying to figure out, too?”
“I never got a chance to ask her. We haven’t exchanged presents… but I already have plans for turning the spare bedroom into a nursery. I’ve got a few ideas… and I bought a few books… I’ve been doing some research on cribs and strollers… and cars. I’ll have to get a different car.”
“There’s plenty of time for all of that,” my mother says, taking my hand in hers. “Right now, you’ve got to do right by Emi. Just be there for her, in whatever capacity she needs you.”
“I know. I’ve been calling her daily. She doesn’t answer, but she’s been texting me that she’s feeling okay… and that she misses me… so that’s something. She knows I’m here when she’s ready.”
“Nathan, if you two need anything, anything at all, you’ll let me know, won’t you?”
“Just don’t say anything to her family yet, if you happen to see them. I don’t think she’s told anyone.”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Thanks, Mom… hey, can you spare a few of these?” I ask, motioning to the muffins. “I think she’d really like them. If she can stomach them… ”
“Does she already have morning sickness?”
“A little, yeah.”
“Sure, let me wrap those up for you,” she smiles.
“Emi?” I call to her after knocking.
“Hey, Nate,” Teresa says, opening the door. “She’s not here.”
“Oh. Do you know where she is?”
“I think she was going shopping. I think she was looking for a dress for Chris’s engagement party.”
“Okay,” I smile. “Well, there are a couple of homemade muffins in here… one for each of you.” Although I was hoping to split them with her. “Can you make sure she knows I stopped by?”
“Sure, is everything okay? I expected to see y’all hanging out more over the holidays.” She obviously doesn’t know…
“Fine, yeah… you’ll be at the party?”
“I’ll probably stop by. I have two other parties, though.”
“Okay. Well, happy holidays… oh, and tell her I love her.”
She looks at me curiously. “Okay, Nate, I will.”
Later in the day, I get a text from Emi, thanking me for the muffins. “I miss you,” she adds.
“I want to see you,” I reply. “Please?”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“Love ya, Em.”
“I know, Nate,” she responds.
~ * ~
“What’s the plan for tonight, Chris? Are we still playing for you and Anna?” I’m testing the waters with Emi’s brother, just making sure there’s no change in plans. Emi hasn’t asked me to not come to the party, so I guess she’s okay with seeing me later this evening.
“Of course, Nate, why wouldn’t you be?”
“Nah, I was just messing with you.” It doesn’t seem like Emi has told her family yet. Her brother would be the first to know.
“Yeah, well, you and Em can check into your room anytime. Party starts at eight, so if you and the band can be down in the ballroom a little before to do a sound check, that would be great.”
“Of course, that’s what we were planning on.” I sigh, hopeful. Apparently Emi hadn’t asked for a separate room. “Looking forward to it.”
“Me, too. Is Emi there with you?” he asks.
“No, I, uh… I think she’s at her apartment.”
“Have her call me when you talk to her. I have a question for her.”
“Sure thing. See you tonight.”
I decide to text her since that seems to be the way she wants to communicate with me these days.
“Good morning. Hope you’re okay. Just talked to Chris. He wants you to call him.”
I don’t wait for a response, just start to gather all of my things together. My suitcase packed, my tuxedo hanging by the door, I just need to pack up my guitar before heading out to New Rochelle. I was hoping we would make the drive together.
I hear my phone ringing in the other room, the familiar ringtone I’d chosen for Emi, the one I hadn’t heard in nearly a week. I run to answer it.
“Emi?” I ask, overjoyed to get her call.
“You know, Nate,” she starts in immediately, her voice lilting. “We have been wasting precious alone time. You realize that, right?” My smile wide, I laugh and sigh at the same time.
“God, yes, Emi. I was just about to leave. Can I come pick you up? We can ride together.”
“Nope,” she says. “I’m catching a ride with one of my cousins. I have a surprise for you tonight, and I don’t want to give anything away.”
“Are you checking in before the party?” I ask her.
“Maybe,” sh
e answers. “Just leave a key for me at the front desk.”
“I can’t wait to see you. I have missed you so much. Just hearing your voice is… shit, I can’t even catch my breath.”
“Just wait till you see me,” she replies. “I’ve missed you, too. I’ll see you soon.”
“Love ya.”
“Love ya, too, Nate.”
“Be careful. See you later.”
“Bye.”
Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
I check my watch as I pace around the room, dressed in the tux and almost ready to go… I was hoping to see Emi… in addition to my desire to touch her and kiss her, I needed help with my tie. I told Chris I’d be downstairs by now… I can’t wait anymore.
“Sorry I missed you,” I text her. “I’m heading to the soundcheck.”
“I’m here in my cousin’s room getting ready. I’ll see you there,” she answers. “I did pick up my key, though. Hope to use it later.”
Downstairs in the ballroom, I apologize to Chris, Eric, Jason and the rest of the band we’ve hired to play with us. “I was waiting for Emi,” I tell them.
“You weren’t with her?” Jason says. “We figured you were fooling around with her… I mean look at your hair.” I roll my eyes and give him a warning glance, nodding in Chris’s direction.
“I’m her brother, remember?” Chris says to Jason. “I don’t want to know these things.”
“Sorry, man.”
“We’ve only got ten minutes until eight… that’s when the guests will start arriving. And Nate, I don’t know if you’ve met my best man, but he is going to give a toast before the set, okay?” Chris asks.
“That’s fine, and we’ll be done with this in five,” I assure him. I stand behind the mic and Eric and Jason assume their positions. We have decided to use our own sound system since we’re familiar with it, and our tech has worked with us enough to get the sound check done promptly. We put our instruments to the side, and I see Emi’s sister, Jennifer, enter at the back of the ballroom. She waves at me and walks in my direction. I step off the stage and meet her half-way.
“Emi warned me that you might need help with the tie,” she says.
“Yeah… does it look okay? It’s her favorite one.”
“It looks perfect,” Jen says, straightening the knot.
“Where is she?” I ask.
“Still upstairs getting ready… she said she’d be down soon… but she just got out of the shower.”
“I can’t wait to see her,” I tell her.
“Yeah, she said she hasn’t seen you since the day after Christmas. What gives?”
“Uh… just, uh, busy, I guess.”
“You two are silly,” she says. “You need to make time for each other if you’re going to make this work.”
“You’re right. I promise to do that.”
“Come with me,” she says. “There’s a whole slew of family members that are dying to meet Emi’s boyfriend. You’re a rarity, apparently. I think they need proof– they were all convinced she’d end up in a convent.”
“Alright.” She leads me around the room. I hadn’t realized Emi had such a large family, but it will take me years to remember all of these relative’s names.
Finally, around eight forty, I see her walk in wearing a short, fitted, backless red dress with matching lipstick and heels. I barely recognize her, my girlfriend, my best friend of thirteen years. I stare rudely– it would be considered rude if she had any idea I was ogling her, but she’s immediately pulled into a conversation with some people I had spoken to earlier. Her eyes scan the room. She’s undoubtedly looking for me.
I’m simply unable to peel my eyes away, even as more of her male relatives converse about music in a circle around me and my two bandmates. The dress, her wavy hair, her silky legs demand my attention as if she is standing in a spotlight. Apparently, she doesn’t just have this magnetic effect on me. Eventually, the rest of the guys stop talking to see what I am looking at.
“Wow,” Eric says. “I’m sorry, Nate, but your girlfriend has never looked hotter.” Jason’s eyes follow Eric’s.
“Who is that?” one of her cousins asks. “She is amazing… ”
“Dude, it’s our cousin!” his brother tells him. “Sorry, man,” he says to me. “We haven’t seen her in years.”
“We’ve never seen her like that!” his brother adds. “That’s Emi?”
“Shit!” Jason exclaims. “That dress. Wow. I’m sorry, Nate. I can’t promise not to stare at her all night. Her back… have you seen her back? You don’t mind if I try to convince her to go out with me, do you?” he jokes.
“I do mind. Shut up, all of you. And find someone else to look at!” I tell them with a smile. “She is mine, all mine, tonight.” I look her way longingly, counting the seconds until I can be with her. Finally, her eyes meet mine. Her smile is impish, her intentions obvious. I lick my lips and smile back, beginning to walk in her direction.
“Nate,” Emi’s mother stops me. “Nate, it’s good to see you again. It was so nice for your mother to invite us to your birthday gathering.”
“Yes, Mrs. Hennigan… ” I say, still distracted by the beauty of her daughter.
“Rawlings,” she corrects me.
“Of course, I’m sorry,” I apologize at my mistake and turn my eyes to her.
“But I’ve told you a million times, you can call me Karen.”
“I know, I know… my mother just taught me better than that,” I laugh. “This is an amazing gathering. I had no idea how big the extended family was.”
“That’s what happens with second marriages,” she smiles. “You and Emi should never have to worry about that, though.” She winks and I raise my eyebrows at her bold assumption. Of course she’s right. “She’s never been happier.”
“And she’s never been more beautiful than right now,” I tell her. “Have you seen her tonight?”
“No, where is she?”
I nod toward the vision in red. “Oh, my!” her mother says. “That dress is… wow… she looks so… confident… she’s practically glowing.” I quickly avert my eyes to Emi’s mom, my face getting hot. “Don’t you think?”
I laugh nervously at how correct she is. Emi is glowing. “I do.”
“Did you have a good Christmas? How is your mother?” I can’t wait to be with her… I don’t want to be rude… but god, I want to be with her.
“It was nice, and my mother and James are both good.”
“Will you be getting together with her tomorrow?” she asks, remembering our family tradition.
“Probably the day after. I think tomorrow is reserved for Em… in fact, I think I’m going to join–”
“Nate!” Chris yells to me. “Nate, come on!” I look at my watch and realize it’s time to perform. How could twenty minutes go by already?
“Excuse me, Karen,” I smile, anxious. “Looks like Chris is ready.” I groan audibly as I walk in the direction opposite of Emi. Glancing back at her, I shrug my shoulders as she waves to me. “Nine-thirty,” I mouth to her, signaling to my watch. I point at her, then point to myself, then point upward. She blushes and nods.
Chris is standing next to a man I’m pretty sure I’ve seen before, somewhere, but I don’t think we’ve ever met. I walk over to them.
“So, this is my best man. You’ll welcome everyone, he’ll do his toast, and then you’ll perform your three songs. Got it?” The man smiles and nods in my direction.
“Yeah,” I tell Chris, extending my hand to his friend. “Nice to meet you,” I tell him, shaking his hand, inspecting the man that will be walking down the aisle with my girlfriend, feeling somehow suspicious. I have no idea why.
“Likewise,” his friend says to me as he straightens his tie.
“Right. Are we ready?”
“I’m ready,” the best man says.
“Let me get the guys, I’ll be right back.” I head over to the bar area and grab Jason and Eric. We walk to
gether toward the stage as the room lights dim and the spotlights illuminate the stage.
Once up the stairs, I put on my guitar and grab the mic.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” I start. “On behalf of Chris and Anna, I want to thank all of you for coming out tonight. I believe, uh… ” I never caught his friend’s name. “I believe Chris’s best man has a few words to say.” I step aside and hand over the microphone to the dark-haired man.
He begins to talk, but my attention is, again, focused on the gorgeous woman in red that’s running her hand down her thigh, slowly, watching my every reaction. “I want you,” she mouths to me. I smile broadly, anxious to get these three songs over with.
The audience claps, and I realize the toast is over. Chris’s friend steps off of the stage, walking toward Chris to shake his hand. We begin the first song, an upbeat tune by the bride’s favorite band. Chris and Anna take the best man toward Emi. They shake hands, and I sense that Emi has met him before. Shortly after the introduction, Chris and Anna take their place on the ballroom floor, beginning to dance. After the first verse, they invite others to join in.
Emi and this other man continue to talk as we begin the second song, walking to the bar together. The bartender hands a tumbler of ice water to Emi, and passes a glass of red wine to her companion. At one point, she points to me, and he nods, as if recognizing me from somewhere. I just wish I could place where I had seen him. He looks nice enough, pretty harmless, but I get a strange feeling about him. I’m just anxious to hear what their conversation is about now, anxious to have Emi fill in the blanks.
I play the first few chords to the last song, and I watch curiously as this man takes Emi by the hand and leads her out to the dance floor. My heart begins to race. I don’t want to think I’m jealous– after all, I know Emi and I are soul mates, everyone does– but something just doesn’t feel right about it. She smiles, laughing with him, but she keeps her distance, doesn’t let him get too close. I think she knows it will drive me insane to have another man touching her, especially the way she looks tonight… especially when she knows how badly I want to be touching her. When her amazing, pale, bare back faces me, I look up and make eye contact with the guy. Did he really just raise an eyebrow at me? Prick… and I know exactly where I’ve seen him.