“It seems I have a lot to think about.”
Commotion sounded from the foyer, and Ruth gave her oldest son another pat on the shoulder. “Don’t think about it too long. Strong women don’t wait around forever.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
THE SUN ROSE high in the sky as Eva made her way to the lighthouse, armed with sunscreen and a can of bug spray. She fought for each step along the sandy ground while dodging tufts of grass and fallen palm fronds.
Ahead, the black-and-white spire of the abandoned lighthouse speared into a perfect sky. The last time she’d been here, she’d had Mac at her side. A strong presence to build her up although she’d still ended up pushing him away in the end.
Eva wasn’t sure what brought her back to the place. Some kind of draw she didn’t want to ignore. Maybe it was the fact that she and Mac had bonded over their similar connections to Old Blaze. Which should make Eva happy, but instead of feeling better, she felt a million times worse.
Oh, how she missed him.
She’d been stupid. Worse than stupid, she’d been blind. Blind to Mac’s goodness and then lashing out because she’d felt threatened by her father and by her ex’s marriage. After seeing her father, Eva’s self-esteem took a nosedive off the steepest cliff. Reminding her that the men in her life seemed to find it easy to walk away. Just like Mac had done.
But had he really walked away? Or had she pushed him to the point he’d had no choice in the matter but to leave?
And let’s not forget the troublesome trio. Hattie, Trixie, and Birdie would come into her shop day after day, pretending they knew better than anyone else. All three stubborn in their belief the spice blend worked.
But it didn’t. She knew firsthand. Right?
Waves crashed on the shore in a dull echo to the pulse pounding in her ears.
Eva stood on the shore, staring up at the brilliant blue sky that resembled a set of eyes she missed seeing every day. She stood there for the longest time, shielding her eyes from the sun, unable to pull herself away until the heat became unbearable and sweat began to bead along her hairline. Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out a hair band and tugged her dark locks into a ponytail.
She’d never been more confused, and it was eating at her like a disease that couldn’t be stopped. It had festered to the point she couldn’t take it any longer.
Kicking the sand, she let it all out. Her frustration, her guilt, her anger. She screamed and howled and beat at the air.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
She jumped at the voice, thinking she’d been alone. “Calliope?”
Great. Someone to witness her tantrum.
Turning, Eva watched her cousin float across the sand. There was something about the way Calliope walked; each step flowed like water, like a leaf falling from a tree. Her multicolored skirt billowing in the slight breeze made her seem almost ethereal.
“Who else would it be?”
“I’m not sure. I wasn’t expecting a visitor.”
Calliope gestured to the lighthouse. “People aren’t allowed here anymore, but I’ve made it part of my daily walk. You were supposed to come and see me.”
Eva started. She should have guessed her cousin would find out about the visit. “The Hens spoke to you?”
“No. I had a feeling.” Calliope shook her head and walked toward the rocks. Eva had no choice but to follow where she led.
“You always have a feeling.”
“Which is how I know this conversation is going to be hard for you.”
Calliope had a point.
Eva let Calliope lead her down the small rocky path further from the water’s edge. The surf had washed away much of the beach, leaving only a thin trail.
The two women chose a large rock made warm by the sun and sat side by side.
“What do you want to talk about?” Calliope started.
“Shouldn’t you know that already too?”
Calliope turned to Eva with a smirk, turning her cupid’s bow lips upward. “You know better. I’m not psychic.”
Eva groaned and let her head drop into her hands. “I wish you were, then you could tell me what I should do. Because I sure as hell don’t know how to fix the mess I’ve made.”
“Obviously. Or you wouldn’t have been out here kicking the ground and yelling at the silence.” Her tone oozed with sarcasm. “I’m more than happy to listen to what’s got you all riled up, but we aren’t exactly what you’d call kissin’ cousins. No, it’s fine,” she stated before Eva could interrupt to defend herself. “I’m used to people wanting to keep their distance from the crazy lady. Plus, I was capable of seeking you out too. I just knew your mom never wanted you around me.”
Eva rolled her eyes. “I love my mother, but there is no talking to her about certain things. Once she’s made up her mind about something or someone, it’s all over.”
“Like I said, it’s all good. So, why were you stirring up a dust storm out here all by yourself?”
“Life, I guess. I’m upset about everything these days. I’m a wreck.” It was going to be hard, but Eva was ready to open up and maybe find some relief from the pressure of her distrust that had weighed her down for years, keeping her from living. From enjoying life. And who better to tell than a relative? The thought seemed to add a little comfort to the difficult task at hand. “I suppose I should start at the beginning.”
“I’ve caught the basic gist of the situation. Boy and girl meet. Boy and girl fall in love. Girl royally screws up and loses boy forever.”
Eva winced at the finality of her cousin’s words. “Not words of encouragement there, Cuz.”
“I’m sorry if it offends your delicate sensibilities. It’s the truth, isn’t it? You aren’t doing anything to win the man back, are you?”
Calliope stared out over the blues and greens of the ocean. Eva thought she looked like a sea spirit come to life, given the ability to walk on two legs. She expected nothing less. Her cousin didn’t claim to be a witch, but Eva had grown up with her mother saying Calliope was one. She had to admit with her long red braids, numerous rings, bracelets and necklaces, and her multicolored clothing, she fit the image perfectly.
“No,” Eva began slowly. “I can admit it now. I was afraid to trust what I felt for Mac because of that stupid drink. I pushed him away, and now I don’t know if I even have a chance at getting him back.”
Calliope tilted her head back on a throaty laugh. “The drink? It’s been bullshit since Nana put it on the menu.”
“But the legend—”
“The legend serves its purpose. It does what it needs to do.”
“It makes people fall in love,” Eva interrupted bitterly.
“It helps you to be open to possibilities.” Calliope shifted, turning toward her. “Do you seriously think it makes people fall in love?”
“It’s the whole point of the drink.”
“Girl, get real. The spices, the drink…it doesn’t do anything. If the chemistry isn’t there, then it’s like nothing. Like any other drink you’d buy in any other store. Fate can’t be denied. If two people drink the drink, if their energies are aligned, then yes. They will fall in love.”
Eva struggled to understand. “So what I felt for Mac had nothing to do with the drink?”
Calliope shrugged one tanned shoulder. “I have no control over your feelings. I have no control over anything beyond myself. It’s the same for everyone. If Mac was yours to have, then whether you drank the Amour or not, you would find a way to be together.”
“You’re speaking in past tense again. Are you getting a feeling we won’t get back together?”
“No,” Calliope stated. “But even when two souls find each other, things happen, and it doesn’t always end the way we’d like it to.”
Eva shook her head to the point of pain. “I don’t want circumstances to change.” The thought of Mac with anyone else made her blood curdle.
What would happen if the two of them didn’
t fit anymore? What if they couldn’t get past Eva practically shoving him out the door? Nausea surged through her stomach like the rushing waves crashing against the rocks along the shore. She didn’t want to lose Mac forever.
“Then maybe you need to do something about it beyond question.” Calliope crossed her legs, rings glinting off her bare toes. “The spice is just spice. The drink is just a drink. The intention, the feelings, those are all you. Those belong to each and every one of us.”
Eva hated to admit her wrongness to anyone, least of all her cousin. “I doubt he wants to see me. The last day we were together, I was in rare form, and let’s say I won’t be winning any medals for kindness.”
“Reach out to him.”
“I deleted his number in anger, and now I don’t know how to contact him or his family, except through his aunt. But when I asked Lizzie for Mac’s contact information, she said she didn’t have it.” Tears welled in her eyes as she rubbed the middle of her chest, hoping to relieve the excruciating pain. “I’m not sure if I believe her or not, but it doesn’t matter because I still don’t know how to find him.”
Calliope shrugged. “Since you don’t know how to find him, you have to wait and hope he comes to you. But if he does will you be ready? Because it’s going to take you making a grand gesture to prove your love to him.”
“Can’t you do some spell or woo-woo thing to get him to come back here?”
“Your mother really warped your mind about me, didn’t she? I’m not a witch, Eva. I’m just a free spirit who dabbles with oils, spices, and anything natural. I believe in karma and a holistic approach to living. I do not cast spells.”
“Fine. I guess it was wishful thinking on my part. I don’t know if I can pull off a grand gesture.”
“You have to. Don’t let fear stop you. Now, will you be ready?”
“How can I be fearless after everything that’s happened?” Eva burst out, curling her fingers into fists on her lap. “Honestly. Between having Mac here, those little old matchmakers hovering and making a mockery of everything, and seeing my father the other day, I don’t know if I have it in me to be strong?”
Calliope threw an arm around Eva’s shoulders in camaraderie. “You’ll be fearless because this is the man you love. This is the man you deserve. Don’t let your insecurities deprive you of great happiness.”
Eva stared down at her hands. “I don’t know how.”
“Listen to your heart, and it will guide you. If you do that, you’ll know what you need to do.”
“This sucks. I’m not sure I can trust my heart,” Eva groaned.
Calliope smiled. “One step at a time.”
“Are you sure you can’t just wave a wand or something?”
One red brow rose in frustration and gray eyes much like her own, narrowed.
“I know. I know. You’re not a witch.
The two cousins sat there for the longest time, two women with their toes in the sand, the sun overhead, and the endless surf crashing against the shore.
The more Eva tried to wrap her head around the situation, the less in control she felt. And the more she missed Mac. If she really did get a second chance, Eva vowed to make it count.
It needed to be big.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
M AC DIDN’T KNOW what ungodly desire brought him back to the coffee shop, especially three weeks after his disastrous exit from Cinnamon Bay. He should have run far and fast without a second thought as to what he left behind. It was the smart thing to do. Logical.
Second thoughts, hell. The place consumed his every waking moment and ninety percent of his dreams. Not just the place, either, but the woman he left behind. The woman who told him she didn’t want to see him again because true love didn’t exist.
Well, wouldn’t she be surprised when she saw him walk through the door.
He was a grown man. He could confront his demons because for all he’d made a mess of things with Eva, Brewed with a View still had the best coffee on the entire East Coast.
Mac wanted his parents to have the same experience he’d had.
“You’re going to love it,” he told his mom, reaching out an arm to open the door for her. “I promise. And try not to make eye contact with the three little ladies in the corner. No matter how cute they look. They bite.”
Ruth Jenssen stared through the glass skeptically, her blond hair elegantly swooped back from her face and a pair of designer sunglasses obscuring her vision. “What are you talking about, Mackie? They look sweet. The perfect picture of small-town bliss.”
“Whatever you say, Mom.”
Let her come to her own conclusions, then.
Since leaving the Bay, Mac had worked late nights without breaks. He knew it would have to stop because he couldn’t keep burning the candle at both ends, but he’d needed the distraction to get him through.
This trip would be good closure. His parents, intrigued by his findings, had decided to head down the coast and scope out the possibility of a beach house.
Mac couldn’t help but tag along. Feeling the need to bring an emotional close to this chapter of his life. But he missed Eva, too, he mused. Missed her and would have killed for one more glance of her smile.
Holding open the door for his mother, Mac let her walk in first, ducking his head to hide the way his stomach clenched and his eyes watered at the familiar scent of coffee. Not just coffee, but Eva’s coffee, the certain blend of spices perfuming the air.
Unique to her.
The time came for him to man up, to face whatever lay ahead. Because hell, he was the one who suggested they come out for coffee. His father, not wanting to miss the outing but also unwilling to forgo the chance for an afternoon nap in their rental’s hammock, decided to stay behind.
“Welcome to Brewed with a View. Can I take your order?”
His heart twisted.
“Mac?”
She’d seen him. Of course, she’d seen him. Steeling himself, he lifted his gaze first to his mother, staring at him over her shoulder with her lips quirked in amusement. He saw Birdie, Trixie, and Hattie seated in their habitual seats. Nesting, more like, from the way they’d settled.
Then a pair of stormy eyes met his, and Mac was transfixed on the woman who’d been haunting his dreams for weeks. The face of an angel.
“Hi, Eva.” He let out a breath of air he’d held for way too long. “It’s good to see you. I, ah, brought my mom.” He placed his hand on the small of Ruth’s back.
Eva forced a smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Jenssen.” Then she flicked back to Mac. “What are you doing back here?”
“There was too much to say to leave it alone.”
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and walked down to the end of the counter, away from everyone.
Mac handed his wallet off to his mother before shifting down toward the semi-private spot where Eva waited.
He cleared his throat and lowered his voice, hoping no one could hear what he was about to say.
“I’m sorry—”
“Please don’t.” Eva held up a hand to stop him, and he realized they were close enough to touch. Close enough for him to grab her hand and press it against his lips. He knew how it would feel. How soft her skin would be.
“Don’t what?”
“I don’t want to hear an apology.”
“Well, you’re going to get one. I realized that I went too far. I shouldn’t have pushed you before you were ready. I should have realized you were tired and exhausted. Instead, I went over the line, and I forced your hand.”
“I said, I don’t want your apology, Mac.” She rearranged a stack of coffee cups for sale between them.
“I should have respected your boundaries instead of pushing against them. I was unkind, and I pushed.”
“Mac, stop,” she interrupted.
His lungs seized when she placed a hand on top of his. He hadn’t even realized he’d been tapping his fingers against the counter. “I have a lot
more to say.”
“Yes, I know you do. But I also have a few things to say of my own. Please don’t interrupt me once I start because otherwise, I might never be able to finish.”
“Okay, fine. I understand. Are you sure you want to do this here? With prying ears and eyes watching our every move?”
Eva nodded slowly. “I’m done running.” Still, she slid her hands in the pockets of her aprons, shoulders hunched.
Mac wanted to rush around the counter and sweep her off her feet. To wipe away the hesitation, the anxiety she pushed through.
“The night you tried to cook me dinner,” she began, “I’d had a terrible day. I was tired, a little ticked off, and I said some things I didn’t mean. My absentee father had shown up here as I was leaving work for the day. Suffice it to say, the conversation didn’t go well. I was in a mood before I even reached my house because his unexpected visit did nothing but escalate my fears of getting too involved in a relationship.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. You had every right to feel imposed upon. I pushed when you weren’t ready.”
Her sigh told him just how she felt about his statement. “I’ve had shields in place before I knew the right words to call them. Walls, keeping me protected from being hurt. The Café Amour…I blamed the drink for my terrible engagement with Sean. I blamed a drink for the fact that my parents weren’t right for each other and ended their marriage.”
“I can understand how you feel. They’re your parents. It’s normal to be affected by their divorce.”
“Yes, and it’s time for me to get over the divorce, and to get over my fear. Roger left my mom for another woman, and the affair shook me. It rattled me that someone who claims to love another person could choose to hurt them so badly. It left me with no faith in happily ever afters.”
“Eva—”
“My walls kept me safe until they didn’t anymore. Until I met you. I ended up hurting myself because I refused to look to the future where feelings, words, people could change.”
“You’re not wrong,” Mac stated. “Those things do change all the time. It doesn’t mean any of them are lies. Or that someone who says he will be there for you will eventually let you down.”
Love on the Boardwalk (A Cinnamon Bay Romance Book 1) Page 16