by Sienna Blake
“You’re just being cruel if you string him along.”
I lifted my chin. “What if I actually like him?”
He closed the gap between us, his chest pressing lightly against my breasts. My body was on fire. I wanted to push him away. Another part of me wanted to walk right into the flames.
“Ailis,” he said, a warning.
My name on his lips. Why did I love it so much?
“Daniel Morgen O’Donaghue,” I said, ignoring the slight narrowing of his eyes when I used his full name. He hated his full name.
Danny pressed me up against the metal cage, the thin bars digging into my back. “We both know he’s not the one you really want.”
His lips crushed to mine, his hands clasping around my head to hold me tight against him. I froze.
He opened his mouth and licked his tongue against the seam of my lips, a demand for me to open them. I don’t know why I did. I could convince myself I had been gasping for air. Perhaps scared to deny him.
Truthfully, the very essence of Danny O’Donaghue made me want to obey.
All thoughts of how wrong this was disappeared.
All thoughts of losing my scholarship flew out the window.
All I was left with was the feel of the forbidden. The taste of sin.
I opened my mouth for him and he slid in his tongue, tasting me, taking me. His kiss was bruising, relentless, merciless, punishment for whatever crime he had judged me guilty for.
I was getting high off his taste, drunk off his smell. Of sharp, spicy cologne and male.
That’s why I kissed him back. Why I clawed my fingers into his shirt and tugged him closer. Why I arched my back and pressed my breasts into him.
He tilted my head to the side so he could take more. I melted, becoming liquid oozing down the bars of the cage.
He tore his lips off me and I whimpered at the loss of them. He leaned his forehead onto mine. Our breaths mixing to create a sweet sinful perfume.
Only then did my mind catch up.
Oh, God. He kissed me.
I kissed him back.
“Leave,” he whispered.
My brain stuttered, trying to grasp onto that single word and its meaning. “What?”
“Leave this college.”
He kissed me to butter me up. A salacious manipulation to get what he wanted: me, gone.
I pushed at his chest and found only hard planes of muscles. I barely made him move. Damn him.
“Screw you,” I said.
“No, thanks. This position is worth too much to me for that.”
Bastard.
I went to slap him. He grabbed my wrist and smirked. “You were always too predictable, Dearg.”
I yanked my hand out of his grip.
He backed up, pointing a finger at me. “Leave me alone.”
Leave him alone? He followed me. He pulled me in here with him.
“I’m warning you.” He exited the storage room, the music blaring into the claustrophobic space before it was muted when he slammed the door shut.
I sagged against the cage, my lips tingling from where his had been.
What the fuck just happened?
35
____________
Ailis
I washed my face in the bathroom, trying to compose myself before making my way back to the roped section. Ethan was waiting for me with my gin and tonic in his hand.
“Where did you go?” he asked, handing me my drink.
The memory of Danny’s mouth against mine seared through me.
“Bathroom,” I croaked out, pressing the side of the cold glass to my cheeks. Damn, it was hot in here.
“You took an awfully long time,” Ethan said. “Most of your ice has melted.”
“Long line,” I lied, feeling horrible as I did. I took a big gulp of my drink, grateful for the wash of cold liquid through my body.
I looked up and spotted Danny leaning against the bar, a leggy blonde leaning into him, her hand on his shoulder.
A stab went through my stomach.
He caught me staring and lifted his shot in a toast to me before downing it.
I turned aside.
Ethan tipped his drink to mine for a toast, snapping me out of my reverie, reminding me that there were witnesses to my misery and to get it under control.
“To us,” Ethan said, “passing our mid-semester assessment.”
“To us,” I repeated.
I sculled down half the drink, giving in to the buzz beginning under my skin from the booze. My eyes kept drawing to Danny at the bar and that blonde who was leaning in closer and closer. How could he kiss me then allow some other woman to fawn all over him?
I slammed down my glass, the backs of my eyes burning.
“You okay?” Ethan asked.
All I could see was that blonde’s hand moving from his shoulder to his chest.
I grabbed Ethan’s hand and dragged him across the bar, the alcohol making me lightheaded. “Let’s dance.”
Back in Limerick I’d sometimes go out dancing with my sister. No alcohol, no boys, just to dance. I tried to lose myself in the music like I used to. I tried to drain myself of the bitterness spiking my blood. But when Ethan moved with me, his hands on my hips left me cold, reminding me of the absence of the fire that Danny ignited in me.
I caught Danny’s eye over Ethan’s shoulder. He looked furious, glaring at me and ignoring the blonde at his side. I lifted my middle finger up to him—stupid, I know, he was still my professor, but I was tipsy and drunk on my disappointment, okay? Someone stepped between us on the dance floor and I lost sight of Danny for a few moments.
The next time I glanced over to the bar, Danny was gone. So was the blonde.
Cold realisation stabbed through me.
He kissed me and went home with someone else.
I pulled away from Ethan. “I think I’m ready to go home.”
Ethan insisted on walking me home. Even though it was a good fifteen minutes out of his way. We walked side by side, him talking, me in silence, barely listening.
I hated myself for wishing it was someone else walking beside me.
At my door, Ethan caught me off guard when he leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine.
It was nice. Sweet.
But it was as exciting as a hug from a friend.
My body didn’t erupt into fireworks, my brain didn’t short out like it had done earlier in the night with Danny.
The contrast was depressing.
Two boys in one night. Did that make me a slut now?
I let out a half-giggle at the thought of my sisters’ reactions to this if I told them. Which I wouldn’t do. I told my sisters everything. But this…this thing with Danny…they could never know.
Ethan pulled back and gave me an inquiring look.
I waved my giggles away. “Sorry. Just a little tipsy.”
He rubbed the back of his head. “So, I um, I like you…”
That sobered me up. The sincerity and hope in Ethan’s eyes made a rush of guilt flood through me. I shouldn’t have flirted with him earlier to make Danny mad. I shouldn’t have danced so close to him.
“I think…um, I think we’re better off as friends.” I give him a soft smile. “Sorry.”
Ethan’s shoulders slumped. “Is there someone else?”
Danny’s face flashed into my mind before I could stop it. The feeling of his lips on mine, pressing me against the cage in that storeroom, turned my insides into molten liquid.
“No,” I cried just a little too forcefully. I composed myself, pushing Danny from my mind, and cleared my throat. “I just don’t want to date anyone, ye know? I mean, it’s our last year of school. We don’t know where we’ll be next year. Better not to start anything and ruin a great friendship. Right?”
I looked hopefully at Ethan, praying that he’d buy my excuse without a grudge.
Disappointment flashed across his face, then disappeared. A small smile replacing it. “Yeah, sure.
You’re right. Friends, then?”
“Good friends.” I grinned, truly meaning it, and leaned in for a hug.
36
____________
Danny
I watched from across the bar as Ailis danced too close to Pencildick. Her hair was mussed up and even from here I could see that her cheeks were still red from my kiss.
She was letting that fucking eejit twirl her around while my kiss was still warm on her lips.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Right. The blonde who’d sidled up to me the instant I’d gotten to the bar.
“I think it’s time to go, don’t you?” The voice of this blonde in my ear was grating on my nerves. Her fingers scratching against my skin.
I couldn’t fucking stand here and watch Ailis talking, dancing, flirting with Pencildick anymore. I necked the rest of my drink and slammed the glass down. “Yeah, it’s definitely time to go.”
Outside, jackets on, the blonde trotted to keep up with me on her ridiculous platform heels. I walked to the nearest cab and pulled open the back door.
“Get in,” I said.
“Ooo,” she crowed as she tumbled into the back seat, “a gentleman.”
I leaned my head in to talk to the driver. “Get her home safely.” Then I stepped back out of the way of the door.
The blonde’s mouth dropped open. “You’re not coming with me?”
“No.”
I slammed the door shut between us and stepped back onto the curb as the cab pulled off, the blonde waving a finger at me from the back window.
I heard Ailis’s laughter behind me and slunk into the shadows, just in time to spot Ailis and Pencildick walking out of the bar.
Something feeling suspiciously like jealousy stabbed me in the guts. I should not be watching her from the shadows. I should not care that that fucker was walking her home. I should definitely not be following her, ready to punch him in the fucking face if he so much as touched her.
They were so absorbed in their asinine conversation, they didn’t notice me trailing them.
At the foot of her building, they paused for a moment.
Walk away, asshole. Walk away.
She turned and let him into her building, and they disappeared out of my sight.
She…
Anger coiled inside me. She let him into her building. What if she let him inside her apartment? Inside her bedroom? Inside her—
Calm down, Danny. You don’t want Ailis, remember? You told yourself to stay away from her.
I paced shadows across the street, warring with myself on whether to go on up there. Perhaps I should set off the fire alarm. That’d forced them both out. Lord knows I couldn’t go up there and yank the bastard out by his collar like I wanted to.
The sound of the building door opening made my head snap towards it, my muscles all freezing mid-pace.
It was Pencildick. He was walking back out of her building.
She didn’t let him stay the night. Thank fuck.
My shoulders sagged with relief, my heart returning to some semblance of normalcy as I watched him walk away.
I glanced up to the windows, wondering which one was hers.
Without the anger clouding my head, I flinched when I realised what in the actual fuck I was doing. I was standing outside of my student’s building like a fucking creep, mooning up at the windows.
I scowled and spun towards home, almost knocking over a passerby.
Jesus Christ. What the hell was she doing to me? Making me crazy.
Danny, you stay the fuck away from Ailis Kavanagh.
37
____________
Ailis
A C+.
The asshole gave me a C-fucking-plus.
My guitar performance was spot on and my backup vocals were clear and in pitch. Well, except for that last bit where my voice crapped out. But I deserved more than a fucking C+.
“Go and confront him about it,” my sister Rachel said over video call, after I’d told her about my mark.
I was lying on my stomach across my bed facing my laptop. “But confronting him is too…too damn mature for me. Too grown-up.”
“Newsflash, you are a grown-up now. Chasing your dreams, making it on your own in the big citaaay.”
“I’m not even sure he is picking on me.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Please. He picked on you in school. He’s picking on you now. Go confront him.”
I pushed my face into the blankets and groaned. This wasn’t the playground anymore. This was my friggin’ life. “Whyyyyy does he have to be my teacher?”
“Maybe he has a secret crush on you!”
I let out a snort and pushed up onto my elbows so Rachel could see my face. I ignored the rush of heat that twisted through me when I remembered that kiss. That kiss that I hadn’t plucked up the courage to tell Rachel about. I told Rachel everything. Why was I keeping this from her?
“Think of it as…practise,” Rachel said.
“Practise?”
“The music industry is cut-throat, ’Lish. You’re not going to survive it if you don’t learn to grow a pair and confront someone when they’re being a dick.”
She was right.
I should confront Danny. Show him I wasn’t going to cower. Show him that he couldn’t bully me anymore. Not like he did when we were younger.
We weren’t kids anymore. I was grown-up. He would just have to start treating me like one.
After getting directions to Danny’s office, I made my way down a long, cold corridor in the O’Connor building, named after Sinead O’Connor, my heels clacking against the light grey marble.
My palms were sweating even though the corridor was cold. My nerves strung up tighter than violin strings. But I would not turn back. I had to do this.
Room 1.13.
Here it was.
I heard muffled giggling through the door as I stood in front of it. He was in there with someone. A woman. Another student or that blonde from the other night?
I instinctively turned away. Followed by a wave of resolve. I would not cower. I would not turn away. I took a deep breath and knocked.
There was a short pause.
“Come in,” his muffled voice sounded.
I pushed open the door and stepped inside, preparing myself.
Danny was sitting behind his desk, a scowl on his face. Perched on the edge of the table in the tightest, shortest skirt I’d ever seen was Veronica. My stomach jumbled into knots.
Bastard.
First the blonde. Now Veronica.
Veronica looked over her shoulder at me and frowned when she saw I’d interrupted her.
“Can’t you see we’re busy?” she snapped.
“We’re done here, Ms Shaw,” Danny said, standing up from behind his desk.
Before she could protest, he took Veronica’s elbow and led her to the door. I stepped aside so Danny could push her out.
He shut it behind him.
He turned and stared at me, his eyes roaming my face before pausing at my mouth, the hint of a smile at his lips. Despite my worked-up fury at him, I couldn’t help but be struck by the raw masculine beauty of his face and his striking cobalt-blue eyes.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, Ms Kavanagh?” As it always did, his deep rasping voice rumbled through me. I wanted to close my eyes and just let his voice wash over me like warm water. But I didn’t.
“You know damn well why I’m here.”
His smile lifted a touch. “Finally, you admit you can’t stay away from me.”
“W-what?” I spluttered. “No. I’m here because of the unfair grade you gave me for my mid-semester assessment.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “I think you got exactly what you deserved.”
I couldn’t believe it. Anger rose up through me, giving me courage.
“I know you gave Calvin an A-,” I argued. “I played just as well as he did and you gave me a C+.”
“You can’t compare yourself with
Calvin. He just played guitar.”
“Ethan got a B+ and he and I performed the same damn song,” I cried.
“You sang backup, Ailis, when you and I damn well know that you can sing solo.”
“You’re deliberately picking on me.”
“Picking on you?” He snorted. “You poor baby.”
“What’s your problem with me? Why are you doing this?”
He didn’t answer.
Tears stung my eyes. Fuck. I was going to start crying. I would not do it in front of him. I would not give him the satisfaction.
I tried to push past Danny to get to the door, but he grabbed my shoulders in his hands, forcing me to look at him.
His eyes were intense, burning like flames, his nostrils flaring. “I’m hardest on you because I know what you can do. You have the most raw talent,” he choked, “the most haunting voice of anyone I’ve ever met. To see you shortchange yourself makes me so fucking mad I want to break something.”
I sucked in a breath. He thought what?
He leaned in, so close I thought he might kiss me again. “You were not meant to be a backup singer, Ailis. You were born to be a star.”
I blinked, a tear escaping down my cheek as his words slammed into me.
You have the most raw talent, the most haunting voice of anyone I’ve ever met.
You were born to be a star.
He wasn’t picking on me, he was trying to push me.
My insides jumbled and swelled with so much emotion that my legs started to shake.
A small piece of this hole inside me, the piece of me that said I’m not enough, started to heal, stitching closed with his honest words.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
As if he suddenly remembered himself, Danny let go of me and staggered back, his face growing cold. Just like that the wall between us came up again.
“I think we’re done here, Ms Kavanagh,” he said before he turned away, suitably dismissing me.
38
____________
Danny
Thank God for mid-semester break. All the students had gone home, leaving the college empty. I had one week where I was freed from my teaching duties and the inevitable interruptions, questions, and insipid flirtations.