by Sienna Blake
My hands flew to my face. Dammit. Okay, fine, I was wearing maybe a little blush and eyeliner and mascara, concealer under my eyes to hide the shadows that were there because I couldn’t sleep yet again because of a certain blue-eyed devil, this time because I was replaying the near kiss over and over and over ad nauseum in my head, working my body up into a near frenzy that even two—count, two—self-administered orgasms could not quash.
My skin heated up more and I knew my blush was on full bore.
“Who are you going to see?”
“No one,” I answered just a little too quickly.
“Oh, come on,” Anna pleaded, “you can’t keep secrets from me. Who is he? Is it Ethan?”
I cringed. I had to tell her something otherwise she’d not leave me alone. Or even worse, she’d get the wrong impression and think it was Ethan.
“It’s not Ethan, just a guy I met…but God, you can’t push me for details, okay? It’s too early. I don’t want to jinx it.”
Anna jumped up and down on her feet, clapping her hands. “Eeek, so exciting, where did you meet him? What’s he look like? Is he a good kisser?”
My phone buzzed in my bag again. Danny. Getting impatient, no doubt.
I grabbed Anna’s arm. “Anna. Stop. Nothing’s even happened yet. Nothing might happen at all, so just calm the fuck down.”
Anna made a face but she stopped jumping. “Party pooper,” she said, but there was a smile on her face.
She finally let me go, making swoony motions in the doorway at me as I raced down the stairs.
I was breathless by the time I got to the recording studio rooms at the college, my nerves jangling. I could already hear the strains of a guitar riff muffled through the door, meaning Danny was in the recording booth. I could imagine him hunched over his instrument, his long fingers strumming over the strings, the music an extension of his soul. His perfect lips pursed in concentration, lips that had almost claimed mine last night.
I took a steadying breath, forced my mind blank of all sexy thoughts and pushed open the door.
Just as I’d imagined, Danny was sitting on a stool in front of the microphone in the soundproof booth, a fitted black shirt stretched across his wide back, his muscular arms hugging the guitar to him like a lover. I could have stood there watching him forever.
He stopped playing when the door clicked shut behind me.
“Lock the door.” His voice was heavier than usual, more gravelly, sounding…rough. Almost angry. It scraped inside of me, making my insides feel hot and raw.
“W-What?”
He slid the guitar down to the small stand by his side and stood, rising to his full imposing height, before turning around slowly to pin me to the floor with two violent blue eyes.
“You heard me.”
I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I could barely breathe as he closed the gap between us in two long strides of his strong legs. He stood toe to toe with me. We weren’t touching but I could feel the thick heat of his presence soaking into my skin. It was enough to make me press farther back against the door. Nowhere to run. Then again, I could never run from Danny.
His hand brushed past my side, sending a riot of shivers through my core. I heard a click as the he locked us in the dim of the studio. His other hand pressed against the wall to the side of my head, caging me in.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“We.”
“What?”
“What we are doing. And you know what we are doing.”
He pressed his hips against mine and I could feel his erection hard against my lower belly. Oh, fuck.
Literally.
My eyes widened.
He nodded. “Something we should have done a long time ago.”
He lunged for my mouth. My hand came up between us before I knew what I was doing, trapping my fingers between his mouth and mine, my palm facing him. Like a cage. We were on either side. For now. Our breaths mingling.
He let out a growl. It wouldn’t hold him back for long. This thought made me squeeze my knees together, trying to dull the ache that had taken residence at the junction of my thighs.
“If we get caught…” I said.
“College empty. No one to catch us. Doors locked.” He licked my fingers, his tongue tracing the sensitive web between my fingers. That single action almost had me dribbling into a puddle.
“I…don’t know.”
“You want me. I want you. What don’t you know?”
So many things. I didn’t know whether I could handle it. Handle him. Mostly, I didn’t know whether once would be enough.
“Say yes, Ailis.” He nipped at my fingers, the bites getting harder until they bordered on pain. “Say. Yes.”
His knee worked its way between mine, his strong thigh coming to rest at the front of my ache. Then he pressed, his hardness swelling at my hip. I let out a groan. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I thought I might pass out.
The words of Danny’s song echoed through my head.
If I shall, let me do so now,
For I may never walk this way again.
I would not let this chance pass. I could not. My soul would not let it. My body had already chosen him.
He would be my missed reckless youth. My rebellion. My caution thrown into the winds off the cliffs of Moher.
I would hate myself for saying yes.
I’d hate myself more for saying no.
I let my fingers slip down slowly, dragging at his full bottom lip, lowering the bars between us. Until there was nothing but shared breath.
“Yes.”
His mouth crushed against mine. Soft but firm. Giving but taking just as much. His tongue pressed against the seam of my lips demanding entrance. I let him in. His tongue meshed with mine and he pressed farther into me. My brain spun like we were careening out of control, my veins filling with a heady rush.
That’s when I realised I’d been living life muted up until now. Timid. Afraid. Still sitting in that hospital bed waiting to die. Still singing backup vocals in the corner in an old nowhere nothing pub. Still with my toes in shallow water. Don’t go too deep, Ailis. Stay near the shore.
With his hands on me, this reckless heat flooding through my veins, I felt wild. Free. Alive. With his breath in my lungs and his hands in my hair, I grew wings. I didn’t care about the eventual fall; I wanted to soar.
His hands pushed at the bag over my body, deft fingers tugging at the zip of my jacket before his hand slipped inside, cupping my breast.
I groaned. So did he.
My fingers dug into his broad, hard shoulders and I ground myself into his thigh, taking. Demanding. He pushed back, rubbing his hardness against me, his hand pushing into the top of my shirt to cup my breast. Skin on skin. Pinching my nipple through his fingers. An ache unlike anything I’d ever imagine ripped through me, making me lose my mind, all my senses blurring into one.
I heard the distant sound of a door opening.
And froze.
That single noise was a crack in this fragile bubble, reality seeping in, pouring cold water all over me.
I tugged back, he released my bottom lip with a soft pop.
“What are we doing?” I whispered.
I wasn’t even sure what I was asking. What were we doing about to get naked in the recording studio? Were we about to have sex? Or was my question bigger than that?
What are we doing?
He smirked. “Do you need a biology lesson, Dearg?”
He lunged for my mouth again but I turned my head.
“Danny…”
I wasn’t a virgin. I’d had some…experiences. Dated a guy or two for a while. Tried a few one-night stands. I wasn’t a prude, but I definitely wasn’t as experienced as Danny was. I was fumbling here.
He let out a sigh, tugging his hand from my shirt. I felt the loss of him all over my body.
He ran his hand through his hair. “We both know I’m not a boyfriend kind of guy.”
“So
we…” I waved between us, at his bulge in his jeans. “…once and then pretend like nothing happened?”
He grinned and it was wolfish. “Not once. The things I want to do to you will take more than once. But…” His grin disappeared. “No expecting a relationship.”
Even in my wildest dreams, I’d not considered Danny as the man I’d marry. At least, not this Danny. Maybe when I’d been fifteen. But the Danny I had fallen for once was gone.
I let out a laugh. “I don’t want a relationship with you, Danny. Let’s face it. You’d be the worst boyfriend ever.”
He tensed.
“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” I clarified.
His brows lowered into a frown. “What other way could I take it?”
“I just mean, you’re on the verge of your career. You and I both know that you’re only biding your time in Dublin at this school until you stun the world with your first solo album. Then it’ll be touring and gigs all over the world. You’ll barely have time for yourself, let alone a girlfriend.” The words I spoke were fat, bitter pills, each one swallowed dry. “And me too,” I continued, surprised at how casual my voice was. “I don’t want a boyfriend.” Isn’t that the excuse I gave Ethan?
“So, we’re clear on what this is and isn’t.”
I nodded.
Danny slipped a hand around the back of my neck, gripping me, forcing me to look at him. “Can you handle this, Dearg?”
Could I?
Could I give him my body and keep back everything else? Could I wall up my heart from him?
I gave him a smirk and with as much bravado as I could muster, said, “Can you handle it…professor?”
That was all he needed. His eyes turned dark, a growl resting in his throat, before he claimed my mouth again, his hands hungry in their exploration of my body.
“Damn clothes,” he muttered, his hands stealing underneath the hem of my shirt and pushing up.
“Not here,” I managed to get out in between stolen breaths.
“Door’s locked.” The shirt kept rising.
I pushed his hand down. “Not. Here.”
He cussed under his breath. “You are going to be the death of me.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? After all these years, you want to do it against a door?”
“Against the door. Floor. Wall. All of the above.”
I couldn’t help the shiver that went down my spine.
“Your place,” he said.
Anna’s wide-eyed reaction to me banging my professor in our apartment flashed through my head.
I shook my head. “My housemate’s home. Yours.”
“Fuck.”
“What?”
“Rickie crashed at mine late last night.” Danny let out a groan. “He said he’d be out by midday but…”
That was a few hours away still.
“Son of a fucking bitch,” Danny cursed.
Usually I hated cursing but with his deep voice, it sounded like sex. Brutal, wild sex.
“Maybe we can take the long way to your apartment?” I suggested.
He shot me a look. “Not even in a drunken, confused state does it take me close to two fucking hours to walk home.”
“Give me a tour of your neighbourhood. Show me Dublin. I’ve only been here a few months and only know the area around my apartment and college.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “We’re not dating, Dearg.”
I snorted. “I know it’s not a date, asshole. I’d never date a prick like you.”
“No tour.”
I shrugged, brushing my hand through my hair and leaning back against the door, letting my fingers trail down my neck and towards my cleavage. “Fine. Then we can stay here for two hours and not fuck.”
His eyes followed my fingers as they brushed against the swell of my breast. He cursed and adjusted his jeans. “We can’t stay here. Or I really will fuck you up against a door. Let’s go.”
I pressed a hand up against his firm chest to stop him. I’d just thought of something.
“We can’t be seen walking together, Danny.”
This city was too small. The odds of running into someone we knew were too high.
“So, what,” he said, a note of frustration in his voice, “I walk behind you like some creeper?”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
44
____________
Ailis
“This is the stupidest idea ever.” Danny’s voice was in my ear, coming through my headphones.
We were taking our time getting back to his apartment with him trailing behind me, connected only by two things: the sense that he was watching me and the voice in my ear from our phone call.
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see them. “This coming from a guy who once wanted to jump off his apartment block with an umbrella after watching Mary Poppins.”
I heard him snort-laugh. “Holy shit. I can’t believe you remembered I told you that.”
I did. I remembered everything he ever told me.
I even remembered where we were when he said it—curled on a ratty beanbag in the corner of the hospital playroom—what he smelled like—soap and chocolate from the Cadbury Snack! bars he’d smuggled in for us—and the colour of the shirt he was wearing—blue, because his eyes looked even more brilliant when he wore that colour.
“Turn left up ahead for me,” he said in a firm voice.
“Where are we—?”
“Just walk. I’ll tell you what to do.”
A small thrill travelled through me. I could feel his eyes on my ass as I walked through the streets of inner Dublin.
“I love the view from back here. That curvy ass swaying as you walk, those long legs. I’ve thought about wrapping those legs around my shoulders and burying my tongue in that pussy.”
“Danny,” I hissed, my cheeks flaming, glancing around me in shame.
He chuckled in my ear. “Relax, Dearg.” His nickname was so fitting for me right at that second. “No one can hear me. No one will know what I’m saying to you unless you give it away.”
“But—”
“You wanted a tour of Dublin. You’re getting a tour. My way.”
Dear God.
Was this whole walking tour going to be like this? I was already a wet mess between my legs.
“I bet you taste like heaven. I bet your pussy hair is the same gorgeous strawberry-blonde colour as your head.”
I had to fight to keep walking straight. He wasn’t playing fair.
“Was,” I said, breathlessly, trying to regain some control over this situation.
“Was?”
“I don’t have any hair down there at the moment.”
I heard a choking sound.
“Danny? You okay?”
“Fine.” His voice came out strained.
I hid a smirk.
“I’m starting to realise how much of a dark horse you are, Dearg.”
“Oh?”
“Good girls don’t shave their pussies.”
“Good boys don’t talk about tonguing girls pussies.”
I could almost hear him smiling through the phone. “We both know I’m not a good boy.”
“No,” I breathed. He was not a good boy at all. “I’m starting to think I’m not a very good girl.”
“Turn left,” he demanded.
Another thrill shot through me at the promise of dominance to come.
“Yes, professor,” I breathed.
I swear I heard him growl through the phone.
He kept talking dirty to me as he trailed behind me. Talking about how often this professor prayed that I’d wear a skirt to class so he could look up it. How he wanted to bend me over his desk and slip his hand under my skirt, pushing aside my little girl panties so he could see how wet I was.
He described in painful detail how he wanted to bury his face in between my legs, to suck my juices off me, to sink his fingers into me, curling them around to rub at my g-spot while
he nibbled at my clit.
Then just as I was riding the crest of pleasure, how he’d push into me with his cock, stretching my pussy around him, and fuck me hard till the screaming of his name could be heard all through campus.
My walk became wobbly, my breath heavy and uneven. I fought the urge to look over my shoulder at him, the space between my shoulder blades prickling at his heated stare.
“Jesus, Danny,” I breathed, “I can’t keep going like this. I need…”
I was going to collapse. Weak at the knees from want.
“I know what you need, baby. Walk into Marsh’s Library on the left.”
I did what he commanded, pulling out coins to pay for the nominal entrance fee, my hands shaking from the neediness gripping me. I swear my cheeks were red, my lust obvious to the bored-looking youth who took my change and handed me a small ticket. I had to remind myself that no one could see inside me, no one else could feel the heat radiating off me from Danny’s words, from his eyes on me.
I walked into the library and let out a gasp.
“It’s stunning.” I let out in a low voice as I walked farther along the rows of Baltic oak bookcases with carved gables, my need temporarily forgotten.
Danny didn’t say anything back. The noise in my ear sounded muffled.
“Danny? Are you there?” I spun around.
There was a pause. Then his voice came on in my ear, “Keep going. Take your second left into that smaller aisle.”
“Okay,” I breathed, my nerves tingling in anticipation of what was in store for me.
I walked down the main aisle, smaller aisles branching off the main. I spotted bullet holes, which I’d read once were left over from the Easter rising. I let my finger run over one, my cheeks heating at how erotic this motion was.
I found the aisle that he was talking about, a small nook, and stepped into it.
“I’m here,” I whispered. There was no one around me, but I was still conscious that I was in a library. There was a pause.
“Yes, there you are.”
I looked around me, startled. Where was Danny? “Where are you?”
“Never you mind. Just know that I can see you. I’ll know if you’re not following instructions.”
A shiver went down my spine.
“What instructions?”