"What? No. That's not acceptable. Your mother said you were looking for a wife."
"She lied." Anger swelled deep inside of me. "Get out. Please."
"Fine, but you're going to feel like shit in the morning when you think about the fact that you used me."
"Used you?" I gave her an incredulous look as she got out of the car and leaned back down to give me more shit. "I'm pretty sure you used me just as much."
"Whatever." She flipped me off and walked away from the car. "I hate you. I hate all men."
"But you like to suck dick. Odd." I drove away, having mumbled the last bit under my breath.
The loud smack to the back window had me chuckling. Another lost shoe on my account. It was the same with all of them.
Use their bodies to do whatever they could to draw me in.
But it was about more than that... it was so much deeper than a fuck. And no one had been willing to go there with me yet.
Not that I wanted anyone too anyway.
Laila was the only girl for me. Period.
2
Bailey
"No. No. No." I dropped my paintbrush in the muddy colored water that floated around my favorite coffee mug. The picture before me was off. "More like it looks like shit. Why do I even try?"
I glanced at the clock next to my easel and let out a squeak. I was going to be late. Dammit.
Racing around the apartment, I got dressed in a button up white shirt and pair of black slacks. After pulling my long hair into a ponytail, I brushed my teeth and raced toward the door. My beat-up Toyota was going to have to behave, or I'd really be late to the restaurant.
I turned the music up in the car and tried to get my thoughts off my failing dreams and hopes. I'd never be an artist. I couldn't get the shading right or the contours perfect. I needed training, but good luck with that shit.
My family was all sorts of poor. Middle class was the proper term, but in was a wide net that caught too many people. My family was on the shallow end of the wealth pool, but it was fine. We didn't need money. We had each other.
I pulled up to the restaurant and tripped getting out of the car. The concrete below was less than pliable.
"Fuck." I got up and dusted my knees off as tears welled up in my eyes. "It would be so fantastic if just one damn thing would go right today."
"Just today?" Ellen, a friend from the restaurant and about the only girl I could tolerate at the Blackhouse Grille. "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."
I glanced down at my palms, which were torn up and bloody. "Every day. Let me update that wish to cover every day."
"It's going to get better." She shut the door to the car and rubbed my upper back as we walked toward the door at the back of the restaurant. "You're in a new place and don't know a soul. It's a weird place to be, but if it's any consolation at all, we're all pretty in awe of you."
"Why is that?" I opened the door and smiled. My brother said, 'why is that' all the fucking time like he couldn't think of anything else to say. He rubbed off on all of us who got a few minutes in the warmth of his personality. Especially me. A sadness I thought I'd gotten overran through the center of my chest. I missed Rhys, but it was time to grow up. I wasn't in the Air Force, and he was. I needed to start my own life off the base and stop taking up all of his time. I was his little sister, and if he ever planned to get married or date anyone for real, I needed to get out of his way.
So I moved. Far, far away. And regretted the shit out of it now that I was alone in a new city.
"I don't know." Ellen shrugged. "It just seems like a really big thing. You moved away from your family and the comfort of the things you knew to start over." She bumped her shoulder against mine. "You put yourself in this crazy-ass situation, and you're doing really good. Look at how well you've turned the restaurant around."
I nodded. I had done some good at the restaurant. Before overhauling the menu and cleaning up the look of the place, I'd had a long, stern talk with every employee - one on one. It was a big job, but somehow I'd pulled it off. A spark of hope swelled in the pit of my stomach. Maybe Ellen was right. Maybe I was in the right place.
Now to find love. Someone who could hold me at night and spend my off days helping me figure out where I wanted to go with my artistic talents and such. That was a pipe dream I often tried to squash back down. It hurt too much to think it might never happen.
"Well, thanks. I appreciate that." I walked into the kitchen and nodded at a few of the chef's before making my way to my office. Ellen followed closely behind me.
"Okay, so how was the weekend? Did you go out like I suggested?"
I snorted. "No. I don't have anyone to go out with."
"Then we'll do something together this coming weekend."
"No." I sat down at my desk and pulled out a long list of things I had to get done before clocking back out. The owner had started to rely on me maybe a little too much. "I really don't have time for anything right now."
"Well, I'm making time." She turned and hopped up on my desk, crossing her legs and looking too cute for her own good. "Speaking of... can I get off just a little early tonight if things are slow around here?"
"Sure." I tried not to ask, but I couldn't help myself. "Why? You got something going on?" What I wouldn't have given for me to be the one with something going on. Hell, anything.
"I'm going to meet up with this new guy I met online." She shrugged and smiled so hard it had to have hurt her face.
"And you don't know anything about him?" I turned and gave her my full attention. "Cause not everything you see or read online is true."
"I know, but I'm willing to take a few risks." She glanced toward the door and back at me. "We're going to a really populated place. Like tons of people around."
"Why are you blushing?" I lifted an eyebrow and hated myself for asking. The deeper I dug, the more she would talk. I enjoyed her more than most people at the restaurant, but I wasn't looking for a girl-pal. I liked my alone time. It gave me the chance to push myself a little more with my painting.
"Well." She glanced back at the door and then to me. "Don't say anything to anyone. You promise?"
"Who the fuck do I talk to?" I chuckled and leaned back in my chair, wishing I had something blush-worthy to share.
"Last night we sort of, um..." She glanced down at her hands. "We masturbated online."
"What?" I stiffened. The thought of masturbating in front of anyone was rather terrifying and yet, insanely hot. "Like with your computer camera on?"
She looked up and nodded. "It was so hot. It was hard to come, but I eventually got there."
I swallowed hard. I'd heard a few of Ellen's sexual exploits since coming to the restaurant, but nothing like this. "Was he... hot?"
"Oh yeah." She smiled. "And his dick was huge."
I shook my head. "Okay. TMI. Get out. I have shit to do. You need to be careful tonight. It's scary out there."
"Yeah." She got off the desk and laughed. "Be careful of baseball bat sized cocks."
"Out!" I turned to my paperwork and ignored how badly I was panting. "And close the door on your way you."
"Okay. Let me off early!" She laughed and closed the door behind her.
I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. I'd been in a few pathetic relationships over the last few years, but nothing like I read in my romance novels. I wanted a man to turn me on, to wake me up, to sweep me off my feet.
"No. To fuck me senseless." I grabbed a pen and tried to ignore the deep thumping desire that had my pussy contracting and my nipples tightening. Masturbating with someone online? Could I ever do that?
"Not a chance in hell." I took a shaky breath and worked on orders until the dinner rush hit. Then I was off my ass, running around the restaurant, helping in any and every way that I could. The evening slowed a little, and Ellen gave me a puppy dog expression.
"Can I go? Please?" She bounced on her feet and smiled.
I laughed. "Yeah. J
ust have a good time for both of us, hm?"
"You could come with us. You know I'm good with sharing." She wagged her eyebrows. "And let me tell you, there's plenty of inches to share."
"Oh God. Get out of here." I shooed her away and walked to the back of the restaurant. The other night manager, Tanner glanced up from the desk and smiled.
"Get out of here. You're on early shift."
"No. I'm good." I leaned against the frame of the door and studied him. His thin shoulders and lanky body didn't do anything for me, but I never could get the kind of guy that really turned me on. They didn't seem to notice me.
Guys like Jeremy Bennett. My brother, Rhys's best friend from high school. The guy was a God. Even back then. The last time I'd seen him was when I was still a kid, but he wasn't lanky or small at all. His baseball pants were always so tight, and I could make out the outline of his dick perfectly. Every part of me was turned on by him, even now. Years later and I still wished I were old enough to make him take notice of me back then.
"Hey. I'm serious. Get out of here, beautiful. Enjoy your night." Tanner smiled.
He was sweet and kind, but that's about all.
"Okay. Yeah. Thanks." I grabbed my keys and walked out the back door. The icy cold air of autumn whipped around me. It would be winter soon, and though I knew how to drive in the snow, I hated it all the same.
The ride home was dull and lonely. I kept thinking about how much fun Ellen had to be having. She'd have dinner and drinks with Mr. Monster Cock and then end up pressed against a wall, getting her wildest fantasies taken care of. I imagined all of mine as I made my way back to the apartment.
By the time I got there, my body was on fire. It had been forever since I let myself even think about lusty things. It never worked really well for me. I'd want and want and want, and that's where it stopped. It never moved into having, getting, fulfilling.
"Fuck this life." I walked into my apartment and closed the door behind me. After dropping my purse and kicking off my shoes, I walked to the kitchen and leaned over, pressing my forearms to the counter. I wanted someone to greet me when I walked in, and not a normal greeting. An aggressive, get on your knees and suck every inch of this monster cock greeting. He'd work himself deep into my throat before taking me right there on the floor.
In my mouth. My pussy. My ass.
A groan left me that chilled my desire. It wasn't going to happen. It hadn't yet, and there was no hope in sight. And the saddest part was as much as I wanted love, I yearned for lust so much more.
3
Jeremy
"Fuck this day." Mayhem walked in and dropped down in front of my desk after a long ass Monday at the fire station.
"Oh yeah?" I glanced up from a pile of papers I had to deal with. "Is the second crew still out at the Beckham place?"
"Yes. They almost have it taken care of, but they need to hurry the fuck back."
"Why is that?" I leaned back and lifted my hands, cupping them behind my head. "You dating one of the guys in the group?"
"Up yours, Cap." He shook his head and gave me a stern look. "We're a man short on my crew because Davis' wife is having another damn kid. I swear that idiot doesn't know how to keep his cock in his pants. He needs to get a few more channels on his TV."
I snorted. "Because watching TV would help him keep his hands off his wife? Have you seen Silvia?"
"Yeah. She's fine as shit, but come on. Five kids, Jeremy. That's insane."
"I like the idea of a big family." I glanced over at the picture I had of Laila and Austin when the little guy was just two. "It's not in the cards for me anymore, but it's something I would have wanted."
"No talking about Laila." Mayhem stood and lifted his arms toward the ceiling. "So how are things going?"
"What things are you referring to?" I leaned back farther in my chair and lifted my legs to drop my feet on the desk.
"Your dating life. Tell me about the latest shit your mother got you involved in. Nothing makes my day better than hearing your stories."
"That so?" I lifted my eyebrow and stifled a laugh. "You like the fact that my mother is trying to find me a wife like the old days?"
"I fucking love it." He ran his hands over his head and laughed loudly. "My mom gave up on me a long time ago."
"You're a slut-puppy. We all gave up on you a long time ago." I glanced down to see who was calling my cell. Rhys. My best friend from high school, and one of Laila's favorite people on the planet. "I gotta take this. If you have a call to go out, just grab me. I'll take up Davis' spot. I'm a better firefighter than all of you pussy's put together."
"Pussy's put together? Like a pussy-wall?" His eyes grew wide, and a playful look moved across his face. "Can you image?"
"It's better than a dick-wall. Get outta here." I picked up the phone and pressed it to my ear. "Rhys. How are you, man?"
"Jeremy Bennett." Rhys laughed, and the sound of it warmed me. It was almost like I could image Laila being just behind me. "How is life treating you, brother?"
"It's good." I lied.
"Bull shit." He chuckled.
I stood and walked toward the lone window in my office. "It's life man. Nothing has been right for the last few years, but you know that."
"Yeah. I miss our girl every day, brother."
"Me too." I ran my hand down my face and tried like hell not to crack. I'd spent too many nights on the floor in the bedroom or the bathroom crying my guts out over what I'd lost. At times it almost seemed like never loving her would have been easier, but I didn't have the option. She'd swept into mine and Rhys's life like a whirlwind. The love triangle lasted all of a week and then she was my girlfriend and Rhys's bestie. It worked until it didn't.
"On a better note, what're your plans for the holidays? I'm finally headed up your way."
"Are you?" I pulled myself from the pit of despair I was headed toward full speed ahead. "What's bringing you up here, man? You tired of the flatlands in Illinois?"
"Naw. I love this place. My job gives me all I need."
"Oh, it fucks you from time to time too?" I laughed as he snorted.
"No. I have some honey's here on base for that shit. You know how women feel about a man in uniform."
"I see you're still a complete scoundrel."
"I do try." He cleared his throat. "I'm headed up there because Bailey moved up that way about six months ago."
"Your baby sister?" I walked back to my chair and sat down as a smile spread across my lips. That poor girl had been nothing but legs and pigtails. She was one of the guys as often as Rhys would let her be. I hadn't seen her in ten years or more, and she was sixteen. Cute, but nothing I'd give a second glance to.
"That's the one. She's not a baby anymore."
"I bet not." I dropped down in my chair. "Where is she? I've probably bumped into her if it's over here by the fire station."
"She's not too far from you guys. I just mapped it today. You wouldn't recognize her, Jer. She's not a little girl anymore. Stupid ass."
I smiled. "I'm sure not. Remember she had a huge crush on me when we were kids."
"Don't go there. She's six years younger than you, Cougar."
"Naw... I'm not going there. I'm glad to hear you're coming up this way. Tell me where she is so I can stop by and let her know I'm the Fire Chief over here. If she needs anyone, I'm happy to help her man. You're like family to me."
"Same. I think she would like that." He gave a pregnant pause, and I jumped in to reassure him.
"I'm not going to try anything, Rhys. I'm still lost to Laila. I'm not sure I'll ever be with anyone else, man. Seriously. And if we're being honest, Bailey probably isn't my type. I like sweet girls."
He laughed. "Fucking liar. She's exactly your type, but I do trust you. She's running Blackhouse Grille about a mile from you."
"I love that place." I glanced up as the sirens went ape-shit. "Gotta run. I'll check in with her soon. Maybe she needs a trusted friend if nothing else."
"I like the sound of that. I'll be in touch brother. Be safe."
"Same to you." I dropped the call and ran out into the hallway to get dressed and get my ass on the firetruck. Mayhem was in charge, and though I could have easily taken the reigns from him, I played second and moved where he told me to be, just allowing myself to be one of the guys for the call.
"What are we looking at?" I asked Mayhem.
"It's a building fire. It's out of control, but all of the residents are safely out of there. It's a younger crowd, so they hauled ass out of the building when they smelled smoke. We just need to get the damn thing under control before it moves to the building next to it, which isn't such a young crowd."
"We need to get someone busy getting everyone out of the building on either side of it." I pulled out my phone and made a few quick calls as energy raced through me. I'd taken the captain spot a few years back because Laila wanted me off the front line. I understood the concern and respected her wishes. I was the youngest captain in the northeast, but it was a spot I earned with ten years of hard work and lots of fucking 'yes Sirs.'
We pulled up to the blaze and the crew hustled off the truck, going into action. The heat from the fire was blistering. I'd almost forgotten how incredibly hot the inferno could get. Sweat dripped down my back and over my chest as I moved into place and worked beside my men.
It was hard as fuck not taking back over from Mayhem, but I managed to keep my lips sealed for most of the evening.
"We're losing pressure," Nam yelled from in front of me.
"Fuck." I moved out of place and forced the guys to shuffle up to keep fighting with the tools we had. Pulling off my helmet, I jogged back to the street where the hose was locked into a fire hydrant. Kneeling, I tightened it and cursed the guys. Someone hadn't done their job correctly with the hose, which cost time and put all of us in danger.
The thought of Austin losing another parent had me moving twice as fast as I wanted too. My little boy didn't need another tragedy in his life. He'd barely survived the first one.
Captain Hotness: A Single Father Bad Boy Novel Page 2