"In the bathroom at work. I came in because I don't want to sit around my apartment and cry all fucking day. I can't do it." I reached up and wiped my eyes.
Someone knocked at the door, scaring me. "Bailey?"
"I gotta go," I mumbled into the phone. "Tanner, one of the managers, is at the door."
"Get yourself together and call me later. Promise?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I love you, Sis. Merry Christmas."
"You too." I dropped the call, splashed water on my face and opened the door.
Tanner was wide-eyed. "Hey, so there's an older lady in our office waiting for you." He reached out and gripped my shoulder. "You okay?"
"I don't know." I crossed my arms over my chest and walked toward the office. With my luck, Edward's true wife was there to scold me for going to an art even with her pervert of a husband. I could hear her calling me a hussy with each step I took.
Much to my surprise, it wasn't Edward's wife. It was Jeremy's mother.
"Bailey." She glanced up and smiled around me. "Thank you, Tanner. Can you close the door, please?"
"Yes, Ma'am." He closed the door, and I took a few steps back and pressed my back to it.
"It's Christmas," I said with an expressionless face. "Shouldn't you be with your family?"
"I need to apologize."
"I'm not interested. You're wasting your time. The damage is done. I can't unhear or unfeel what you said to me. It's impossible." I shrugged and slipped my hand down into my apron pockets. "Jeremy does deserve better. You were right."
She nodded in a knowing way. "Yes. He deserves a better mother."
Her words surprised me a little. "What?" I asked.
"He deserves a better mother." She sat down on the chair closest to her and looked up at me. "When his father and I were dating, my mother was right in the middle of our relationship, constantly bothering both of us." She snorted and glanced down at her hands. "Henry was never good enough for my family." She looked back up. "We were rich, and he was poor, but they had no idea what a business mogul the man was going to grow to be, but I did."
"Henry was Jeremy's father?" I sat down and pushed my chair back, still wanting as much space as I could get between us.
"Yeah. He was everything to me." She laughed sadly. "I didn't marry him because of money or what I knew he would become." Her eyes filled with tears. "I married him because I fell so deeply in love with him, and to be somewhere without him felt like a funeral of sorts."
I nodded, encouraging her to go on.
"We grew into that love for our entire marriage, and I knew that he was my soul mate." She glanced back down at her hands as her voice broke a little. I'd never seen such a strong woman struggle with her words as I sat there and watched her. "His death was too much to bare." She glanced up as tears streaked down her cheeks.
I couldn't help but cry with her.
"He left us all the money in the world, but he took my heart with him when he went into the ground. There isn't another event in my lifetime that could tear my soul in half the way that day did. Standing at the head of his coffin as people apologized and went back to their lives was the worst day of my entire life."
She wiped her eyes and sniffled. I handed her a tissue.
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Bennett." I took a tissue and wiped at my eyes.
"No, child. I am. I didn't like Laila because she was a wild-ass who was in love with Jeremy and threatened to take him away from me, and in some ways, she did." She cleaned up her face before continuing. "But the day she died, I watched my baby lose his soul too." She sniffled again as a fresh wave of tears slammed into both of us. "He stood at the front of her coffin as people said their ’I’m sorries’, and his face aged, his skin paled, his chest deflated, and I knew-"
She was crying so hard that I was compelled to get up and move over to her. I knelt in front of her and wrapped my arms around her as she shook.
"I know Bailey that he too had died along with Laila. That he too would never fully breath again, just like I haven't since losing my Henry."
I brushed my hand over the back of her head and rubbed her back.
She reached up and wrapped me in a hug, standing and moving into my arms as she cried for a few more minutes.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered against her hair. I had no clue what else to say to her, but watching her hurt, hurt me so badly. I couldn't fathom losing Jeremy, and we were just starting our lives together. To have fostered and built that kind of love into an empire only to lose it was more than I could stand to even think about.
It was life-shattering.
"No. Honestly, Bailey." She moved back and reached for another tissue. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to push you as far away as I could, but it had nothing to do with you, dear. It was because I was scared that Jeremy would fall in love again only to have it ripped out of his fingers once more." She reached up and touched my cheek. "He wouldn't survive that. It's the reason I've never taken another husband. I can't do this again. I won't."
I understood completely, and with that knowledge, my chest relaxed, and my hurt dissipated.
"It's okay. Let's move past it because I can't imagine my life without Jeremy in it. I've loved him since I was a little girl, Ms. Bennett. He's been in my life because of Rhys since I was a kid." I moved back and wiped at my eyes. "I'll never stop loving him, and to have to do so from a distance-"
"Is a death of sorts too." She dropped her hands to the side, closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. "Forgive me for putting that on you. I only meant to protect him."
"Then why all the dates and pushing him to find a mother for Austin?" I blew my nose about the same time as she did. We smiled at each other and chuckled.
"Those women were absolutely whores. The worst girls I could find." She blotted her face with her fingers. "They were no threat at all, and my hope was that they would scare him off from women altogether, which worked just fine until fate put you right back in his life.”
I smiled. "I love him so much. Leaving him a note this morning and walking away was the most difficult thing I've ever done."
"And you did it because I convinced you that you were not the best thing for him?"
"Yes." I nodded and let out a long sigh.
"Then I welcome you into my family, and will love you like I love my own children, but only if you can forgive me, Bailey. I was trying to protect my son, and I went about it in the most ignorant manner possible. By meddling in his damn love life."
"I forgive you." I nodded and forced a smile.
"Good. Come to my house with me then. We'll fix a big Christmas dinner and invite Nina, Austin, and Jeremy over. Let's surprise them with this. Would that be okay? Almost like our Christmas gift to each other and to him?"
"I'd like that. A lot." I moved toward her as she held out her arms to me. "I'm sorry for your suffering."
"I'm sorry for causing yours." She hugged me tightly. "Forgive me."
"Already done." I moved back and my heart filled with warmth beyond belief. I didn't have to let go of my dream of being Jeremy's wife. It was back within reach, and nothing was going to stop me from reaching out and taking hold of it.
25
Jeremy
"Hey. You okay?" My sister sat across from me at the kitchen table, half-eaten cookies strewn across the table in front of us.
"No. I already told you that I don't want to talk about this," I barked and hated myself for being hostile with her. She was my best friend. I gripped my face and let out another frustrating growl. "Why would Momma do this to me?"
"Because she thinks that she's protecting you, Jeremy. That is the only reasonable answer." She reached across and tugged my hands down. "She's not a monster. She's a good mom. A little cray-cray at times, but still, a really good mom."
I nodded, feeling like shit for being so ugly to her. "I know, but what the fuck?" I stood up and paced the floor. "Why would she attack Bailey like that?"
"You don't know what was sai
d."
I whipped around and slammed my hands on the table. "Don't you dare take up for her right now."
My sister leaned back in her chair. "Don't yell at me. We're going to fix this. Just because Mom fucked things up does not mean the last word has been spoken. Give Bailey a day to chill out and call her. Go over there. Talk to her."
"I'm going tonight after I get Austin in bed." I walked over to the window as Nina's phone rang.
"Hello? Yeah, we're still over here at Jeremy's, Mom."
I turned around and crossed my arms over my chest as my sister glanced up at me.
"Okay. I'm glad you got to see her. Yeah, sure. We'll head over there now. Love you too." She put the phone down and stood up. "She talked to Bailey and apologized. Everything is going to be fine. She's cooking Christmas dinner and wants us there. Now."
"I'm not going until I know that she fixed this shit with my girlfriend." I walked around Nina and tried to storm into the hallway.
She grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "You are going because your son and your sister deserve a fucking Christmas, which includes dinner at Mom’s house. Get your boots and your jacket and meet us in the car. She said she fixed it. She fixed it."
I wanted to bark at her again, but she was right. And I was being a dick. Big time.
"Fine. I'll be there in a second." I pulled out of her hold carefully and walked to my room. After closing the door, I got dressed and checked my phone. Nothing from Bailey. If mother had fixed everything, why the hell wasn't my girl calling me? I'd done nothing wrong. I was moving on with my life, letting go of my grief and taking steps forward for her. Just because my mother was batshit crazy didn't mean that I was.
I finished getting myself together and grabbed a baseball cap on the way out. There was no way I was fixing my hair or doing anything that my mother expected me to do. It was a proverbial finger in the air, and we would both know it.
"Hi, Daddy! You feeling better?" Austin leaned forward from the backseat and gripped my arm.
"Yeah, buddy. Sorry about that. Just a little misunderstanding with Granny. We're all good now." I buckled up and checked my phone as it dinged. I prayed like hell it was Bailey. Nope. Mayhem. "Hey. I need to run by the station before we head to Mom’s."
My sister gave me a look. "Why?"
"The guys have something for me. It won't take more than a few seconds, I promise."
"You're not fighting another fire today, right, Dad?" Austin smiled as I turned to look at him in the backseat.
"Nope. I hope not." I winked and turned to my sister, who was in the driver's seat. "Ten minutes top."
"Alright. Sure." She pulled out of the driveway and drove toward the station.
I let my thoughts slip back to my date with Bailey a few weeks back. It was my favorite date thus far. We'd opened up in our conversation and talked about some of the deeper things in our lives, joked around the art gallery while all the stiffs in suits gave us dirty looks. We made fun of the stiffs, and ice skated until our thighs hurt. I made love to her all night long and held her tucked against me until the sun came up that next morning.
It was the kind of life I wanted to live every day, and it was so fucking close to being mine.
"I'm so scared I'm going to lose her." I kept my voice low and watched the snow drift by the car.
"You're not. I promise. I'll do anything I can to help make sure that doesn't happen." My sister squeezed my arm. "She loves you, Jeremy. It's going to take more than Mom acting up to push her away. Laila didn't run when Mom got nutty with her."
"Yeah, but Mom wasn't nearly as bad as she is now." I unbuckled as we got to the station. "I'll be right back guys."
"Hurry! I'm hungry," Austin said.
"You bet, buddy. Five minutes tops." I shut the door and jogged to the station. If was fucking freezing outside, and the snow seemed to be falling in blankets instead of cute little flakes. I walked in to hear the guys all laughing in the kitchen area. I walked that way and couldn't help but smile as they all called out to me. It was a warm welcome.
"Captain. You lazy mother fucker." Mayhem walked over and pulled me into a quick hug. "We've been missing you, man. What's up?"
"Just trying to give the little guy a Christmas." I shrugged and went around to shake everyone's hand.
"Well, we won't keep you here with us." He handed me a present in the shape of a clothing box.
"What's this?" I glanced down at it.
"A present?" Mayhem asked with his eyebrow raised, like we were all dumbasses, me especially.
"Fuck you too." I smiled and tore into it. I almost had the box opened when he stopped me.
"Wait. Chuck, tell Jeremy why we got him this just in case he forgot." Mayhem lifted his hands and laughed.
"Dude. You remember that crazy chick with black hair that your mother set you up with right after Laila died? The one we never thought we were going to get rid of?" Chuck smiled, and all the guys started to laugh loudly.
"The one that called me Captain Hotness all the time?" I lifted my eyebrow.
"That's the one!" Mayhem laughed and shook his head. "She brought brownies in here yesterday, for you of course, and we ate every damn one of them."
"And all of us got the shits." Chuck held his stomach as he laughed until his face turned red.
I laughed along with them. "Oh hell. She tried to give me the shits?"
"Open the box man, but yeah... that bitch tried to give you some EXLAX brownies, and we thought we were being smooth by eating your treats." He shook his head. "That's what we get, I guess."
"Idiots." I pulled out a bright orange hoodie and lifted it up. Captain Hotness was stitched across the front of it in big black lettering. "Brother."
The guys cracked up again, and I was rather glad they'd gotten the shits from eating my brownies. The asshats deserved it.
"Alright. I gotta get over to my mother’s. Very funny." I tossed the box and the sweater in my office and jogged back out to the car. I got in and reached for the heater. "They're stupid. That was a waste of time."
"They just wanted to see you." Nina smiled and pulled out onto the street. "What did they get you?"
I explained in a PG way, and she and Austin both had a good laugh on the way over to my mom's house. By the time we got there, I felt much better. I wasn't ready to get out of the car and attack anyone. I was looking for ways to make things right. I'd apologize to my mother and hear her out, have dinner with the family and then go looking for Bailey. I wanted resolution. Now.
"I love Granny's pineapples and ham!" Austin yelled from the backseat and bounded out into the snow, leaving his door open.
"Hey. Your door," I called after him, but he kept running for the house.
My mom opened the door and picked him up, swinging him around as Nina, and I got the rest of the presents out of the trunk, closed up the car and walked into the scent of Christmas Day.
I breathed in deeply and turned as my mom reached out and grabbed my arms. "I'm so sorry, Jeremy. I was trying to protect you, but you don't need me to do that anymore. I just can't get past the fact that you're going to be okay without me, and that you will heal from Laila."
I nodded. "I'm sorry too." I pulled her close and bit my tongue. I wanted to ask if she really went to see Bailey, but as soon as I turned the corner, the question was null and void.
Bailey was wrapped up in my mom's favorite blanket with Austin on her lap and a Christmas storybook in her lap. He was bouncing around, and she was laughing as she kissed the side of his face.
"Thank God," I whispered as I moved into the room and knelt beside her. "You scared me so bad." I leaned down, cupped her face and kissed her several times as Austin moved off her lap.
"Come on, Austin. Let's put whipped cream on our hot chocolate. Granny needs your help." My mom and Nina left the living room, and I stood, half-dragging Bailey with me.
"Jeremy. I just-"
"Hush." I leaned down and kissed her again as I wrapped my arms arou
nd her and pinned her to my chest. I made sweet love to her mouth as I memorized the softness of her lips and drank in the taste of chocolate and cherries on her tongue. By the time we pulled back, we were both breathless, our cheeks pink.
"Wow." I kissed her again and pressed my forehead to hers. "I don't know what happened with my mom last night-"
"It doesn't matter. We worked it out." She moved back and ran her hands up my chest to cup my neck. "I'm sorry I left a note."
"No, baby. I'm sorry she upset you. When I got up this morning, and you weren't there," I paused to take a shaky breath, "I thought maybe I'd lost you. I don't want to feel that way ever again until we're old and have had our fucking fortieth wedding anniversary. You hear me?"
She tilted her head and lifted an eyebrow. "Fortieth anniversary?"
"Long story, but I want this thing between us. I want you to have my babies, Bailey. I want your shit all over my house; your warm, sexy, little body pressed to mine at night." I pulled her in for another long kiss as I ran my hands over her back to her ass and squeezed tightly. "Don't leave me again. I don't want to live my life worried that I'm being set up for another loss. I can't handle that."
"I want that too. So badly." She wrapped herself around me and let out a soft sigh. "I'd never leave you, Jeremy. Not ever. You're all I've ever wanted in my life."
I moved back and forced her to look up at me. "Good, because you're stuck. I love you like a fat kid loves chocolate cake."
"I love you like a stripper loves a poll."
"I love you like-" I started, but my sister cut me off.
"Oh God. Get off it already. The hot chocolate is cooling." She shook her head and walked back to the kitchen, mumbling under her breath, ‘like whipped cream love a cuppa hot chocolate.’
"Oh!" I laughed and pulled Bailey into my arms again. "I'm going to ask you to be my wife pretty soon. Did you know that? I don't wanna wait."
"And I'm going to say yes. I don't want another day without you."
"Such a good girl." I leaned down and nipped at her lips.
"All yours, Captain Hotness." She laughed as I chased her into the kitchen.
Captain Hotness: A Single Father Bad Boy Novel Page 15