"Dad!" she yelled from the living room.
"Yeah?" I pressed the button on the stove and walked to the edge of the kitchen.
"When are you going to bring home someone that can do my hair right?"
I put my hand on my hip and gave her a funny look. "Are you saying I'm not a good beauty shop lady or something?"
She giggle-snorted, the sound of it warming my soul. "Dad. We need a girl around here."
"Well, we have one." I pointed to her. "You!"
"Ugh. Never mind." She turned back to the TV and pulled her legs up to her chest before wrapping her tiny arms around them.
It was a conversation that came up day after day between us, and where I wanted to tell her how hard it was to bring a woman around, it was pointless. She was a little girl, and to her... she needed a mommy, and I needed a wife.
Terra swept across my mind again, but I dismissed the idea of falling in love and living the life of my dreams.
It was a fairy tale, a romance novel, a sitcom for someone else to enjoy.
It had little to nothing to do with me.
"Danny. There you are." Martin glanced up from the table he and Lance sat at as I walked up.
"Sorry, I'm late. Lyndsay wasn't in a giving mood this morning." I pulled out my chair and sat down next to my boss and his son, my best friend.
"She doing okay?" Concern moved across Lance's face.
"Yeah, buddy." I reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Man. It's good to see you. How's New York treating you?"
"Great." He smiled and glanced over toward his dad. "The old man here is still trying to get me back over here in Washington, but he's going to have to do something more than offering a baseball team."
I chuckled. There was no way in hell Lance would take the baseball team. He hadn't played sports a day in his life that wasn't forced by his old man. His sister, my Terra on the other hand...
"I've been trying for years, Danny, but you know how this pansy ass boy is." Martin winked and picked up his menu. "Naw. I'm proud of him and he knows it. He's been working day and night for his damn medical degree and he's the best Surgeon St. Mark's has ever seen."
"Hey, while we're taking turns kissing each other's asses..." I laughed as they both gave me a look. It was nice to feel like I was part of the family. I'd been haunting their doorstep since Lance and I were in third grade.
"I've actually put in for a transfer." Lance leaned back and gave me a cocky smile. "I want to move into medical research. I have some ideas."
"On what?" I paused as the waitress came over. Her dark red hair reminded me of Terra, but her model thin body shut down my bedroom thoughts almost immediately.
"Hi, guys. What can I get for you?" She kept her eyes on me as a smile played at the side of her mouth.
"Martin. Lance. You guys go ahead." I turned my attention back to my menu, ignoring her. When it was my turn, I ordered breakfast instead of lunch, getting all the things Lyndsay had mentioned earlier that morning. She had me hungry for them since leaving the house. Knowing my mother, Lyndsay would have her making everything she wanted to eat and then some. My mom loved the kitchen.
"So, tell me how things are going." Lance turned his attention to me. "Your shoulder doing okay?"
I rolled my right shoulder and rubbed it. "Yeah. It's much better. I just tweaked something, but I'll be good by the time I get to pitch."
"Well, if you're not, just say something, Danny. I don't want them to put you out there and we accidentally ruin your shoulder." Martin gave me a stern look.
"No, Sir. I'll not let that happen." I reached for my water. Everyone was so damn worried about my joints giving out, but I was good. There were better things to worry about. "So, I heard on the news the other day that you've changed your will to leave the team to Terra. That just bullshit stories the media are having fun with, or-"
"It's all true." Martin leaned back and glanced at Lance. "This guy doesn't want them, and if we're all being honest, Terra is the best pick. She's done an incredible job down in Oakland. It's crazy to think they let a woman take over as GM, but they did."
"And she's rocking it." Lance glanced at me. That familiar feeling deep inside of me woke up. I yearned to see her again, to reach out and touch her soft skin, to hear her say my name. "Oh, Lord. There he goes again, Dad."
"What?" I came to and glanced at Lance and back at Martin. "There he goes what?"
Martin laughed. "Lance was telling me this morning back at the house that you still have a crush on my princess." He tilted his head to the side as his expression tightened.
I felt like I was eighteen again, having to ask Martin if I could take his fifteen-year-old daughter to prom with me. It hadn't gone well back then, and it looked like it wouldn't be much different now.
"I'm thirty years old, guys. That was twelve years ago. Terra is like family to me now." I shrugged and moved back, grateful as fuck that the food had arrived.
"Whatever, Danny. I know you better than that." Lance pulled his napkin into his lap and smiled at me. "She's not got a ring on her finger."
"Shame." I shrugged and picked up my fork. "She should. She's a good woman."
"The best." Her father agreed and took a drink of his coffee. "Have you heard anything about the HGH issues that the Braves are having? There's a big scandal over in Atlanta right now. I think we need to request that the league test more often."
I picked up a piece of bacon, rolled it up and shoved it in my mouth. I was grateful to talk about anything other than Terra. I was a horrible liar and would have buckled in front of them if they kept poking me about her. I wasn't over her. Fuck, I'd never be. She was the one that got away, the one I dreamt about every night and still had some sad inkling of hope over. She was mine in some other place, some other time. The past.
"I think that's a great idea." Lance nodded before taking a big bite of toast. "The last thing you want is the publicity that comes with the league finding out that you have someone on the team beefing up on steroids."
"So maybe you start doing team tests yourself, Martin." I suggested. "Might be smart to get ahead of the game rather than ask the league to start getting after it. You end up in the same place you started then, with them finding out and you losing players."
"And getting shitty media coverage," Lance offered.
I smiled. "What's your deal with the media? Something happen or is this just one of your well-hidden fears?"
He shook his head. "Neither. I just think they're full of shit."
"Agreed." Martin glanced up. "I like it. I'll talk with Joe and Alan about it and get their thoughts."
"Damn, Dad. You still have Joe coaching? What's he, like, two hundred now?"
"He's my age, you ass." Martin smirked. "So is Alan. I like having my head coach and GM as good friends from my past. It lets me sleep at night knowing my assets are being protected."
I chuckled and took another bite of my sausage as my thoughts moved back to Terra. "Have you talked to Terra about taking over the team, Martin?"
"No." He shook his head and smiled. "Nothing to worry about just yet, Danny. I'm going to outlive you all."
"Truth." Lance glanced my way and lifted his hand for a high-five. I denied him for fun.
We'd been saying his father would be running circles around us when we were old men, and so far, we were right.
4
Terra
Oakland, California
"You work too hard." One of the coaches for the team in Oakland walked up and sat down in front of my desk.
"Well, I am the GM. It's part of the job." I leaned back and crossed my hands over my stomach as he watched me.
"You think you'll ever get tired of the sexist bullshit you have to put up with?" He crossed his arms over his thick chest.
"No. I think that's also part of the job." I shrugged. "My father taught me to be tough, so, I am."
He smiled. "I like it, but I still think you should take some time for yourself. What's Barry t
hink about you living up here in this office or at the ball field."
"He probably doesn't know. He's an owner. He gets to live out his life." I chuckled. "My Dad has owned the team in Seattle forever, for as long as I can remember, and he expects a lot out of his GM."
"He has the same one he's always had, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Alan has been my father's right hand for a long time."
"And what about you going up there? I'm sure everyone's been busting your balls, er... your…."
I saved him from himself. "Everyone has been after me about it. My dad just shifted his will. It's nothing to really think too much about. He's still healthy and running circles around all of us. I'm here for a long time to come, I'm sure."
"Well, I for one hope so, kiddo." He stood. "And I'll say it again, you need to get out of here. It's Saturday and everyone is at home enjoying their families. You should be too."
"Thanks. I'll leave soon." I pulled a stack of contract renewals back toward me and tried to focus, but there was no use. His words rang in my ear. Everyone is enjoying their families. I snorted. I didn't have a family anywhere near me.
I had Lance in New York and Daddy in Seattle. Niki, my best friend was in New York too. How in the world I let myself end up in California away from everyone I loved was a mystery. Or was it?
Memories flashed before my eyes of the night I decided to pack my shit and leave Seattle for good. I was twenty, and although it had only been seven years ago, it felt like a lifetime.
"Stop it!" Danny yelled as we stood in the rain outside of his apartment. "You know I can't keep doing this shit with you, Ter."
"I know." I glanced down, hating myself for putting him in the position of having to come after me again. I only wanted his attention, and I'd have done just about anything to get it. "So where do we go from here?"
He ran his fingers through his hair and lifted his chin to the sky. His t-shirt was light blue and tight against his muscular chest. Every cell in my body was on fire to feel him against me, to know him intimately. "I don't know."
"Okay," I whispered as the familiar burn of rejection welled in my throat. We'd been dating off and on for years and yet we were moving in different directions. He wanted to play for Seattle, and I had a job offer in Oakland. My career would never take off if I stayed on my father's team. I'd never make a name for myself.
"Okay?" His voice hardened. "Okay is all you have to say? All these years of me talking to you about us getting married and building a life together and you can't even fucking consider staying here with me?"
"You don't want me, anyway." I crossed my arms over my chest and prayed that the rain mixed with my tears was enough not to let him know how much I was hurting. "I've tried a million times to pull you close, but you keep me at arms distance, Danny."
He reached out and gripped my shoulders, pulling me tight and leaning down with anger in his face. His nose touched mine, and I stifled a groan. It was better to see him riled up and pissed than showing no emotion at all. "You don't think I want you? I'd tear the clothes from your fucking body here in the street and make you scream my goddamn name a million times if I thought it was right for us, but it's not, Ter. You don't want an asshole that uses you, and I don't want a woman that craves that shit."
"I didn't-"
"Hush," he barked. "I'm staying here to play for your father. I'm not coming to get you out of another wild ass situation." He glanced back at the bar I'd been in with Niki. She was still somewhere in there, having a good time. Where she'd end up taking a man home, I never would have done that. I just wanted Danny to come after me, to prove that he loved me. It was silly and childish, but I was second string to his career. I was nothing that excited him anymore, and as soon as he started playing for Seattle, he'd get around a bunch of alpha asshole playboys and find a girl that was better than me, sexier than me... just simply not me.
"Thanks for the help." I pulled out of his hold and walked back toward the bar.
"Terra! Don't do this. I'm as serious as a fucking heart attack right now. I don't want a woman that wants this shit in her life."
I lifted my hand and waved to him, but kept my eyes on the door to the bar. I didn't want anything other than him, but I needed something to make me feel. If it wasn't drugs and sex, then a little bit of danger and a rough crowd would do.
He left me for baseball, and I left him to feel alive again.
"Thank God all that shit is over." I stood and grabbed my purse. There was no reason to sit in the office and stare at lines on a page if I couldn't concentrate enough to actually read them. I'd moved to Oakland the next month and found my place in the middle of the field again. It gave me some sense of peace to know that I'd traded in whatever was going to happen with us for the thrill of the game. It was something at least.
And the need to hang out in bars, ride motorcycles and act like a wild ass was completely out of my system.
I had a new danger that I played up against daily - being a woman in a man's world.
It was a painful challenge most days, but fuck if I didn't love it.
"Miss Harmon. Looking nice, ma'am." One of the outfield players wagged his eyebrows playfully at me as I walked up to the group of players gathered at the edge of the field.
"Behave, Rodriguez." I smiled and turned to face our coach. "Keep going. I just wanted to stop by to wish everyone luck."
They continued on with their spiel about the game that was starting in an hour or so. Paul walked around the outside of the team and came to stand beside me. He crossed his arms over his massive chest and stole glances at me until the short meeting was over.
He reminded me of Danny in so many ways. Thick arms and a great smile, a tight ass in his uniform and a huge cock. That's about where it all stopped though.
"Terra." He turned to face me and reached out, grabbing my shoulders. "You've been avoiding me."
I gave him a non-committal nod. "Yeah. I have."
"Why is that?" He licked the side of his mouth. "You mad because I'm a baseball player who acts like a player."
I smiled and pulled back. "Good luck tonight. I'm sure we're going to win this one."
"I'm not pitching tonight," he called after me.
"I'm well aware, idiot," I mumbled under my breath and made my way up to the owner’s box. I needed to tell him things were over between us. He was a desperate reach for me to feel something sexual, and it had worked for a little while, but me not giving it up, in the end, shut us down pretty fast. I was good with oral and anal and everything in between. I just wasn't ready to give my virginity up. It was stupid and traditional. I was sure I'd fucked up the sanctity of it a million times over with my slutty ways post-high school, but maybe not.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I reached the box, and I paused to answer it before going in.
"Terra Harmon."
"Hey, Sis. Just calling to wish you good luck." My brother, Lance.
"Well, thank you kindly, Sir." I turned and pressed my back to the wall behind me. Funny how hearing my brother's voice left me thinking about Danny - again. Hell, if I were being honest, everything had me thinking about him lately. It was the situation with my dad. Him planting the idea that I'd be headed back to Seattle in the next five to ten years had old memories and far too many feelings rising up inside of me.
"You're welcome. So, when are you going to make your way up here to see me and that sexy little pole dancing friend of yours?" I could hear the smile in his voice.
I laughed. "She hates it when you call her that."
"Then maybe she should get herself a real job. She's a smart cookie."
"And she loves what she does." I defended Niki, though I really didn't need to. My brother thought of her like another sister. "I take it you're back in New York now?"
"Yeah. It was good to see Dad. I just wish you would have been there too."
"Maybe next time." I nodded to some of the guys walking into the box beside me. "Is there some reason why y
ou decided to push Dad to change his will?"
"Oh yeah." He huffed. "I hate baseball. It's about time I came out of the closet on that shit."
"If you think for one second that we didn't all know that you hated baseball all these years, you're outta your fucking mind. You cringed and curled up on the ground in the fetal position when we pitched you a ball." I smiled and wrapped my free arm around myself.
"Hey. I was four years old. We can let this one go now."
"You were seventeen."
"Same difference." He paused to chuckle. "Anyway. I got to have breakfast with Danny while I was there."
My body stiffened and I had to work hard to pull in a quiet breath. "Oh yeah? How is your old friend?"
"We still on that kick?" His tone softened a little. My brother knew far more than he should have, but he was much more than a brother to me. He was my best friend outside of Niki.
"Yeah. We always will be." I moved away from the wall and turned to walk to the railing where I could watch the game. "How is he?"
"He's good. Not great, but good. You know he's got Lyndsay with him now?"
"Jannie's little girl?" My heart ached in my chest. I knew Jannie had died a few years back, but I couldn't bring myself to go back home, so I made some stupid shit up about not being able to get off. The decision still haunted me.
"Yeah. She's as cute as a button, and he's all about her. She's got blond curls and big blue eyes like Jannie did."
"God, that's sad." I pressed my hand to my heart and took a shallow breath. "And Danny is doing okay with raising her and still being a slut on TV."
Lance laughed. "He took over your spot of wanting to live a wild life, and you took his of wanting to settle down and chill."
"And the little girl plays in how? I imagine it's hard to live as a slut and still find time to raise a baby." I knew I was crossing the line, but no conversation about Danny ever ended well for me. There was too much involved. Too many hurts. Too many memories. Too many desires unfulfilled.
Captain Hotness: A Single Father Bad Boy Novel Page 33