A smile stretched across her lips as she recalled everything about the time she and Gabe had spent together here. It was special, and to her, at least, far past anything she could even define as a “fling.”
She cared for Gabe. Maybe more than cared. She felt his pain when he told her about his loss, and when he smiled—in the rare moments when he seemed truly carefree and open, like he had in the lake—it moved her deeply. When he made love to her, and told her how she affected him, it made her feel like the center of the universe. No one had ever made her feel that way. Like she was the sun, shining only for him.
There was more than desire, and more than sex between them. At least for her. She couldn’t deny that, even knowing he would probably deny it. There were moments when she was sure he was feeling the connection between them as deeply as she did, but then in the next moment, it would be gone. He would be distant again, the mask in place.
All she could really go on were her own feelings, and that was okay. This was, perhaps, the first time she had really started to fall for someone, and it was spectacular. And that he wanted her, too, was more than she had dreamed of.
She wanted to enjoy it, even if it hurt like hell later, when he left. The sharp pain of missing him hit her, even at the thought.
Which made her wonder where he was. The cabin was silent, and there was no sign of him. Snatching up her phone, she saw it was around eight in the morning. The rain hadn’t passed completely, making the room darker than it normally would be at this time of the day. A chill grabbed her as she slid out from under the thick blanket.
Della took a robe from the back of a nearby chair and padded to the kitchen, where she saw a white slip of paper on the counter, near a pot of coffee.
Back soon, went to find some breakfast, G.
Della smiled, relieved, and poured a cup of coffee while she waited, stepping out onto the small porch outside the door, taking in the view. The sun was starting to peek through the clouds on the horizon over the lake, and so the day would clear up soon. Her mind relaxed and the stress from her daily existence had completely dissipated. Maybe she should find a retreat like this to visit alone, to work, and to think.
But she only had one more day here with Gabe. Then what?
Back to her life, to setting it all back to rights, the wedding, getting her home fixed and refurnished, preparing for the new semester and her speaking trip to Italy. Her life would move forward, and so would Gabe’s. The thought created a small well of sadness in her chest, but she chased it away. She’d known what she was getting into. She’d get over it, and all of this would be a happy memory. Eventually, there would be someone else.
She tried to picture it, and couldn’t. The only face that appeared in her mind’s eye, and in her heart, was Gabe’s.
Then she saw him, walking up the path with two bags, and her mood brightened immediately.
“Morning,” she said, smiling as he approached.
He looked completely different than he did in the city. No suit, for one thing, just jeans, boots and a black T-shirt that molded over every muscle.
He smiled back. “Hey. I woke up starving, and what we had on hand to eat wasn’t going to cut it after all that exercise, so I went down to the camp store for a few more things while you were sleeping.”
“Thank you, oh...what smells so good in there?” she asked as he came closer, the scents of cinnamon and spice rising up through the cool, damp morning air.
“They make their own doughnuts. I showed up just as they had a new batch coming out. Got some bacon and eggs, too.”
Della followed him inside where they both scarfed down doughnuts as bacon cooked on the stove.
“Oh, these are so good,” she moaned, licking some cinnamon and sugar from her fingertips and then smiling as she noticed Gabe watching her just as hungrily.
“You go get dressed, and I’ll finish up the bacon and eggs. The weather will clear soon, and maybe we can go down into town and walk around.”
“Sounds perfect,” she said, leaning over to offer a kiss.
Then another, and another, until Gabe laughed, pushing her away.
“Go, before the bacon burns... I need the protein to keep up with you, vixen.”
Della conceded, but only because she was so pleased at being called a vixen. Smiling all the way to the shower, she emerged to the delicious aromas of breakfast and agreed that the doughnuts, delectable as they were, weren’t enough to sustain her.
As she passed through the hall, she knocked her bag from the table where she’d left it, and the contents spilled everywhere. She quickly righted it, picking up the mess, though as she did so, she noticed a small metallic item on the floor that didn’t look like anything of hers.
Picking it up, she looked at it more closely, and while she couldn’t say exactly, dread seeped down through her body, smothering any joy and warmth that had been there before. Hands shaking, she fought the urge to throw the small disk from her hands, and ran out to Gabe instead.
“Gabe, is this what I think it is? I found it in my bag,” she asked, her voice shaking.
He stood at the counter, his smile at seeing her fading as he realized something was wrong.
She held out her hand as he crossed to inspect what she had, his expression darkening, posture becoming stiff.
“It’s a tracker, isn’t it? I’ve only seen a few, some of the tech guys at school were working on a project with GPS chips so small they could barely be detected, but that’s what it is, isn’t it?”
“Yes, that’s what it is.”
Panic had her rushing back to the bathroom, where her cases were.
“We need to pack—we need to get out of here. Someone knows I’m here, someone is following me...us,” she blurted, suddenly terrified. “It has to be whoever was in my home, and whoever was following me. I knew someone was following me. I knew it, but why?”
“Della. Della,” Gabe said, more loudly the second time. “Stop. Please.”
He’d followed her into the bathroom, and Della fought for calm as he took the chip from her fingers and stared at it, his jaw tight, not saying a word.
“Gabe?”
Her shoulders squared, tensed. He had what she had come to think of as “that look”—the one when the mask slid over his features and the real Gabe, the one she knew when he was alone with her, disappeared.
“Della, we have to talk.”
She crossed her arms in front of her, a chill running down her spine.
“You’re scaring me.”
He stepped in, put a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t mean to. C’mon, let’s get some food and I’ll...explain this.”
Her mind sharpened and she turned out of his touch.
“Explain that? You mean, you know about that?”
He sighed, understanding that she wasn’t going anywhere, that she wasn’t going to be cowed or managed until he told her what was going on.
“I know about it because...it’s mine. I put it in your bag, and another in your coat, after the incident at your office.”
Della’s mind scrambled to catch up.
“Wait...why? Why would you do that?”
“Can we go in the other room and sit, please? This might take a little while.”
She wanted to say no, but she nodded instead. This was Gabe, and he had to have an explanation, right? She turned, went into the main room of the cabin and sat. She waited while he poured coffee and brought her some food, though she ignored it. She couldn’t even think about putting something in her stomach right now.
Gabe sat across from her in a chair, not next to her. Not close. Facing her. Adversarial. But his tone was soft, his expression hesitant.
“The case I was working...it involved a project you were associated with some months ago, with Arch Labs. Do you remember?”
“Sure. I did risk analysis for them on a vaccine project, though I wasn’t told many details.”
He nodded. “Okay, I’m going to fill you in—and tell yo
u more than you’re cleared to know, but it’s time. And Della, you need to know, before I get into the meat of it, that what has happened between us, me and you...this has meant something to me. You have to understand that. I’m telling you everything because I want you to know... I owe you at least that.”
Della fought the urge to curl her legs up, to pull herself into a protective posture in the face of his vague statements that nonetheless were making her blood run cold, the dull weight of dread in her stomach.
“Our meeting, on the plane, wasn’t an accident...” he began, and to her silent, stunned amazement, continued to tell her about how he switched their bags on purpose, had been running a check on her in connection to his case and had needed to clear her of any suspicion of being involved with the theft of the information at the lab.
“So you thought I could be involved in the data breach at the labs?”
“Not just you, we investigated everyone connected to the project, and you were not our main suspect by any means. In fact, you were highly tangential, and I cleared you almost immediately.”
“So why were you following me?”
Della’s mind was frozen by the shock of what she was hearing—Gabe had been the one following her? The night of the cooking class, he’d already known where she was, and even before that? He knew she was worried, thinking she was being paranoid, and he let her think that?
“I know you had nothing to do with it, not willingly, anyway,” he added. “But the interviews with the lab staff weren’t revealing anything, and when you were chased at your office, and your home was invaded, we had to refocus on you. In fact, the break-in at your home coincided with the move we made to close down the project at the lab and move the entire thing to a secure military site.”
“I don’t understand—why would those two things connect?”
“When we discovered that Cedric Derian was involved—and that he targets academics, in particular—we suspected that he was either trying to cover his tracks or make a last-minute play to still get the data, or to find out where it went. At that point, I couldn’t afford to take my eyes off of you. Cedric is known for...well, not leaving any loose ends behind.”
Della shook her head. “So you, this...coming here...you were protecting me?”
“In part, mostly, yes.”
“What does that mean, ‘in part’?”
He took a deep breath. “The mission changed. If Derian is cleaning up his operation, that means you’re in danger, which means he’ll come after you.”
“So, what you really mean is that you still aren’t sure if I was involved, and so you were following me to see if I would lead you to them, as well as trying to protect me from them? I’m bait?”
“No, yes... I mean, I’m fairly sure that you aren’t directly involved—”
“Fairly sure? Let me assure you, I am not involved. I don’t know this person, and I have had no contact with anyone regarding the lab work I did at all.”
Now the chill between them laced her words, her posture.
“I believe you. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t using you in some way, without your knowledge. And that puts you in even more danger.”
Della considered, trying to sort it all out, and most especially pushing down the raging hurt that was threatening to take over everything rational.
“So sleeping with me, all of this,” she said, waving her hand around the cabin, “was just to stay close, to find out if I was involved or if I would lead you to your target?”
She was proud of herself for being able to say the words aloud without choking on the bitter emotion that festered beneath them. But he stood suddenly from the chair, crossing to sit beside her now, making her pull back reflexively.
“No. I mean, at the start, yes. But... I wanted to see you, and until I found out about Cedric, it was just...us. It’s still just us, here. It’s two separate things.”
“Except that you are tracking me, and also thinking some deranged terrorist is after me. Other than that, it’s just us?” she asked, pain and disbelief fueling her sarcasm. “It’s not separate at all, at least not for me.”
“I know, it’s complicated.”
She huffed a humorless laugh. He reached for her hand, and she pulled it back.
“The next thing you’ll tell me is that I don’t even know your real name, right?”
She was making a harsh joke, but when she saw him draw himself in, his face closing down, she knew the truth.
“I don’t,” she whispered more to herself than him. “I’ve been sleeping with you, and sharing everything about myself—more than I have with anyone... You know everything about me, and I don’t even know your real name.”
She stood now, needing to get as much distance as she could from Gabe...or whoever he was.
“I’m sorry, Della. I never expected this...you. I care for you, and what I feel for you is real, but I also have to keep you safe. Do my job. It’s a mess, I know. I haven’t wanted to lie to you, and I didn’t want to involve you in this.”
The pained look on his face at her withdrawing from him, the tone of his voice, so sincere, almost moved her, but how could she trust any of it?
“So, what is your real name, then? If you told me the rest of this, can you tell me that, at least?”
He hesitated, and she closed her eyes, taking a breath.
“I see.”
“I can’t, Della. Not yet.”
“Yet? What does that mean? Were you planning to? I thought you were leaving?”
Some small hope leaped in her heart, that maybe he wasn’t leaving, maybe he would stay, and then...
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I was planning to do, except close the case, keep you safe. I don’t know what I was going to do then, except that I...”
She held her breath, waiting.
“I’ve felt more alive with you than I have in a long time. I hadn’t even realized it, until now, and I hated the lies, and the things I had to do—”
“But you still do them, even now.”
He nodded. “Until this is done, yes. Like I said, until you’re safe.”
She wanted to believe him, but how could she know he wasn’t still playing her? That he had to keep her on the hook to close his case? Of course he did.
“You could have simply asked me. Interviewed me. I don’t know too many people, not close friends, and what does this Derian look like? I could tell you if I know him.”
“He changes his face, his look. Even his accent, his voice. We have very few pictures, fewer leads because he doesn’t leave a trace behind. Don’t you see? That’s why we’re here, why I have to do this,” he said, pointing to the tracker. “Because if he is involved, if you are, then he won’t walk away until he’s dealt with you. Even if you don’t know him, have never set eyes on him, he—”
“He’ll kill me.”
Gabe nodded. “Or have you killed. And I think we’ve pushed him now. Whoever he’s getting this information for, they’re not going to like it if he comes up empty-handed, so he’s desperate, too. Maybe desperate enough to do something stupid.”
“And that’s how you can catch him.”
“I hope so. But if it involves you, which I believe it does, then I have to keep you close. I’ll protect you.”
“So...why this weekend here?”
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. “I wanted time with you, away from it.”
“Or, if he is the one after me, you could lure him out more easily here.”
“It was a possibility. But I won’t let him hurt you.”
“And what if you’re completely wrong? What if he’s not after me and I’m not involved at all? Then this has been a waste of time?”
His time with her, she meant, and she couldn’t keep her voice from cracking on the final note.
He closed the space between them, looking fierce. She tried to move back, but he didn’t let her, his hands closing over her upper arms, making her stay, making her
look at him.
“I know it’s bad, Della, and I know I’ve lied to you, but not about everything. When it was just us, it wasn’t a lie. The things I told you, about Janet, and my family, that was all true.”
She wanted to believe him, but she honestly didn’t know what to believe at the moment. He’d used her, in more ways than one, regardless of the motive—to catch a terrorist, to keep her safe. Did that make it better?
Too many conflicting emotions crowded the field, and Della just wasn’t equipped to deal with them. So she shoved them aside, burying them under a more rational approach to the problem.
“You need to find this guy, and you think he’s going to come after me for some reason?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” she said simply, turning out of his hold and moving back to the bath, where she picked up her things and started repacking her bag.
He followed, clearly unsure. “Della?”
She took a deep breath, shut off the confusion, focusing on what was most important.
“You have a job to do, and I’ve become part of that, whether I like it or not. How long will you be following me? How long will this last?”
“I have until the end of the week.”
One week. She could get through that. She turned to face him, drawing herself up straight.
“Okay. You do what you need to, I’ll help. But this...this thing between us, it’s over. Tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it, but I won’t sleep with you. That’s it.”
He regarded her quietly for a few minutes, and then nodded.
“Okay. Thank you.”
When he turned and left, walking out to get ready to leave as well, Della couldn’t help the sharp pain from taking over. He’d accepted her terms so easily, so calmly. No objections whatsoever.
She curled over her bag as she finished packing. Hot, heavy tears fell on the blue canvas of the suitcase as she zipped it, and as she did so, she tried to do the same to her emotions.
There’d be time for that later. Time to lick her wounds in private and move on, but for the moment, she wouldn’t let him see how much he’d hurt her. That was her fault, anyway. She shouldn’t have fallen for him. But she had—or rather, she’d fallen for the lie.
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