"I am a female slave," she said.
"Why can we not be friends?" I asked.
"You are free, and I am only a slave," she said.
I looked at her.
"I will try to serve Mistress well," she said. "Whip me, if I do not please you."
"Very well," I said. I thought that I was now beginning to understand something of the discipline under which slaves might be held. I wondered what it would be like to be under such discipline. I shuddered.
"Does Mistress enjoy her breakfast?" asked the girl.
"Yes," I said.
"Good," she said.
"Susan," I said.
"Yes, Mistress," she said.
"This seems to be a very sexual world," I said.
"Yes, Mistress," she said.
"Are women safe here?" I asked.
"No, Mistress," she said. "Not really."
"You said earlier," I said, "that I was very beautiful." She had seen me naked.
"Yes, Mistress," said the girl.
"Do you think that men here, on this world, might find me of interest?"
"Do you mean really of interest?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"—then, of course, Mistress means as a female slave?" she said.
"—as a female slave?"
"Yes, certainly," she said.
"Then, yes," I said, "—as that—as—as a female slave."
"Will Mistress open her robe?" she asked.
I did so.
"Will Mistress please stand and remove her robe, and let it dangle from one hand, and turn, slowly, before me?"
I did so. I waited, inspected.
"Yes, Mistress," said the girl.
I nearly fainted in fear, terrified, but not a little thrilled by this insight.
"Mistress would look well being sold from a block," she said.
Hastily, frightened, I pulled the robe on again, and belted it tightly.
"But I think Mistress has little to fear," she said.
I regarded her. In the girl's view, in some respects at least, as I had just learned, I was not unsuitable for slavery.
"Why?" I asked.
"You are well guarded," she said. "Your quarters, even, are in the palace of Corcyrus."
"This is the palace? There are guards about?" I asked.
"Yes, Mistress," she said.
"I am frightened by your master," I said.
"I, too, am frightened by him," she said.
"No doubt our fears are quite silly," I said.
"No, Mistress," she said.
"No?" I asked.
"No, Mistress," she said. "Our fears are fully justified. They are quite appropriate."
"Do you think he wants me?" I asked. I was terrified of Ligurious.
"I do not think so," she said.
"Why?" I asked, puzzled.
"If he wanted you," she said, "by now you would have been branded. By now you would be in his collar. By now you would have been chained naked at the foot of his couch. By now you would have felt his whip. By now you would have learned to beg to please him."
"Oh," I said.
"It is not that he does not recognize your beauty," she said. "That any man could see at a glance."
"Oh," I said, somewhat mollified. I would have been outraged, or something in me would have been outraged, if I had not been thought worth a chain. I was sure I could prove to a man that I was worthy of a chain.
"His interest in you, merely, does not appear to be in that way," she said. "Too, of course, he has many beautiful women, and is a busy man."
"Many beautiful women?" I asked.
"Slaves," she said.
"More than you?" I asked.
"I am only one of his girls," she laughed, "and I am surely one of the least beautiful."
"How many slaves does he have?" I asked.
"He is an ambitious and abstemious man," she said. "He worked long hours in the service of the state. He has little time for the meaningless charms of slaves."
"How many slaves does he have?" I asked.
"Fifty," she said.
I gasped.
"Perhaps Mistress would like to finish her breakfast," said the girl.
I knelt down before the small table, as I had been taught. I was trembling.
Here, as I had just learned, one man might own as many as fifty women.
"Mistress is not eating," said the girl.
"I am not hungry," I said.
"Am I to report to my master, Ligurious," asked the girl, "that Mistress did not finish her breakfast?"
"No," I said. "No!"
"Every bit of it, please, Mistress," said the girl.
I nodded. I ate. I felt like a slave.
Then I had finished.
"Excellent, Mistress," said the girl. "I shall now dress Mistress. I will teach her the proper garments, and their adjustments, and the veils, and their fastenings. Then it will be time for her lessons."
"Lessons?" I asked, frightened.
"Yes, Mistress," she said.
"What sort of lessons?" I asked, apprehensively.
"Lessons in language," she said. "Lessons in our habits and customs. Lessons in the details of the governance of Corcyrus."
"I do not understand," I said.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"Tiffany Collins," I said.
"No, Mistress," she said.
I looked at her, puzzled.
"Put that identity behind you," she said. "Regard it as being gone, as much as if you were a slave. Prepare to begin anew."
"But, how?" I asked. "What am I to do? Who am I to be?"
"That much I know," smiled the girl. "I know your new identity. My master has told me."
"What is it?" I asked.
"From this moment on," said the girl, "accustom yourself to thinking of yourself as Sheila, Tatrix of Corcyrus."
"Sheila, Tatrix of Corcyrus?" I said.
"Yes," said the girl.
"What is a Tatrix?" I asked.
"A female ruler," she said.
I looked at her, disbelievingly.
"It is a great honor for me," said the girl, "to serve the Tatrix of Corcyrus."
I trembled, kneeling behind the small table. The brief robe of yellow silk did not seem much to wear. I was afraid of the world on which I found myself.
"Who are you?" asked the girl.
"Sheila?" I said. "Tatrix of Corcyrus?"
"Yes," she said. "Please say it, Mistress. Who are you?"
"I am Sheila, Tatrix of Corcyrus," I whispered.
"That is correct, Mistress," said the girl.
"I do not understand," I said. "I do not understand anything! I do not even know the name of the world on which I find myself."
"It is called Gor," she said.
4
A Night in Corcyrus
I awakened, sometime late at night. I had been dreaming in Gorean, the language spoken in Corcyrus, and, I had learned, in much of this world.
Several weeks had passed since I had been brought here. In this time I had been immersed, for hours, for Ahn, a day in studies and trainings pertinent to my new environment. I was still muchly imperfect in many things, but there was little doubt in my mind, nor I think in that of my numerous teachers, that I had made considerable progress.
I lay nude, late at night, on the great couch. The night was warm.
Supposedly I was Sheila, the Tatrix of this city, Corcyrus.
I could still feel the effects of the wine I had had for supper. I do not think that it was an ordinary wine. I think that it was an unusual wine in some respects, or, perhaps, that it had been drugged.
I had had a strange dream, mixed in with other dreams. It was difficult to sort these things out.
In the past few days, gradually, I had been entered into the public life of Corcyrus, primarily in small things such as granting audiences, usually with foreigners, and making brief public appearances. Always, in these things, Ligurious, happily, unobtrusively, wa
s at my side. Often, had it not been for his suggestions, I would not have known what to do or say. I had even, the day before yesterday, held court, though, to be sure, the cases were minor.
"Let the churl be stripped," I had said, imperiously, "and a sign be put about his neck, proclaiming him a fraud. Then let him be marched naked, before the spears of guards, through the great gate of Corcyrus, not to be permitted to return before the second passage hand!"
This was the one case which I remembered the most clearly.
The culprit was a small, vile man with a twisted body. He was an itinerant peddler, Speusippus of Turia. I had found him unutterably detestable. A Corcyran merchant had brought charges against him. He had received a bowl from Speusippus which was purportedly silver, a bowl seemingly stamped with the appropriate seal of Ar. The bowl upon inspection, the merchant becoming suspicious as to the weights involved, had turned out to be merely plated. Further, since the smithies of Ar, those authorized to use the various stamps of Ar, will not plate objects without using relevant variations on the seal of Ar to indicate this, the object was not only being misrepresented but was, in effect, a forged artifact. This had led to a seizure and search of the stores and records of Speusippus. Various other discrepancies were found. He had two sets of weights, one true and one false. Too, documents were found recording the purchase of quantities of slave hair, at suitable prices, some even within the city of Corcyrus itself. This hair, as was attested to by witnesses, had been represented to the public as that of free women, with appropriate prices being expected. Hair, incidentally, is a common trade item in Gorean markets. It is used for various purposes, for example, for insect whisks, for dusters, for cleaning and polishing pads, for cushionings, decorations and ropes, particularly catapult ropes, for which it is highly prized. It is not unusual, incidentally, for slave girls, particularly for those who may not have proved superbly pleasing, as yet, to discover that their hair, even while it is still on them, is expected, like themselves, to serve various lowly, domestic purposes. For example, when a girl, serving at a banquet, hears the command, "Hair," she knows she is to go to the guest and kneel, and lower her head, that her hair may be used as a napkin or wiping cloth, by means of which the free person, either male or female, may remove stains, crumbs or grease from his hands. Similarly a girl's hair, if sufficiently long, may be used for the washing and cleaning of floors. In this she is usually on her hands and knees, and naked and chained. The hair is used in conjunction with the soap and water, in the appropriate buckets, being dipped in, and wrung out, and rinsed, and so on. Hair, incidentally, is not used for the application of such things as waxes or varnishes, because of the difficulty of removing such substances from the hair. Such a mistake could necessitate a shearing and a lowering of the market value of a girl for months. For similar reasons, a girl's hair, even within a cloth, if it is still on her, is seldom used for such purposes as buffing and polishing. Hair is common, of course, as a stuffing for pads used for such purposes, for example, for the purposes of cleaning, buffing and polishing.
I was pleased to see the odious Speusippus turned about by guards and dragged from my presence. How pleased I was, too, to see the awesome strength of men serving my purposes.
I lay on my back, on the great couch, in the hot Corcyran night.
Some things I did not understand. Even Susan, who knew much more of Gor than I, did not understand them.
In my audiences, and public appearances, for example, and even in the court, I appeared without the veils common to the Gorean free woman. I knew the veils, and Susan had instructed me in their meanings, arrangements and fastenings, but, publicly, at least, I seldom wore them. This omission seemed puzzling to me, from what I had learned of Gor, particularly in the case of a free woman of so lofty a station as a Tatrix, but I saw no real reason for objecting, particularly in the warm weather of Corcyrus. Indeed, Susan's being so scandalized, and her reservations about sending me forth unveiled from my quarters, she once of Cincinnati, Ohio, seemed to me exquisitely amusing. I did try to explain the matter to her, as Ligurious had explained it to me, when I had asked him about it. The important difference between myself and other free women, of high station, was precisely that, that I was a Tatrix and they were not. A Tatrix, Ligurious had informed me, has no secrets from her people. It is good for the people of a Tatrix to be able to look lovingly and reverently upon her. "Yes, Mistress," had said Susan, her head down. I had wondered if Ligurious was being candid with me. At any rate, there was little doubt that the features of their Tatrix had now become well known in Corcyrus, at least to many of her citizens. Indeed, only this morning I, unveiled, in a large, open, silken palanquin, borne by slaves, Ligurious at my side, had been carried through the streets of Corcyrus, behind trumpets and drums, flanked by guards, through cheering crowds. "Your people love you," had said Ligurious. I had lifted my hand to the crowds, and bowed and smiled. I had done these things with graciousness and dignity, as I had been instructed to do by Ligurious. It had been a thrilling experience for me, seeing the people, the shops, the streets, the buildings. It was the first time I had been outside the grounds of the palace. The streets were clean and beautiful. The smell of flowers was in the air. Petals had been strewn by veiled maidens before the path of the palanquin.
"It is good for you to appear before the people," had said Ligurious, "given the trouble with Argentum."
"What is the trouble with Argentum?" I had asked.
"Skirmishes have taken place near there," he said. "Look," he said, pointing, "there is the library of Antisthenes."
"It is beautiful," I said, observing the shaded porticoes, the slim, lofty pillars, the graceful pediment with its friezes.
"What is the problem with Argentum?" I asked.
"This is the avenue of Iphicrates," I was informed.
The people at the sides of the street did not seem surprised that my features were not concealed by a veil. Perhaps it was traditional, I gathered, as I had been informed by Ligurious, that this was the fashion in which the Tatrix appeared before her people. At any rate, whatever might have been the reason, the people, reassuringly, from my point of view, seemed neither scandalized nor surprised by my lack of a veil. If anything, they might have been saluting me, as though for my courage.
At one point the retinue passed five kneeling girls. They were barefoot and wore brief, sleeveless, one-piece tunics. Their heads were down to the very pavement itself. They wore close-fitting metal collars and were chained together, literally, by the neck. I gasped. "Do not mind such women," said Ligurious. "They are nothing. They are only slaves." I was shaken by this sight. My heart was pounding rapidly. I could scarcely breathe. It was not outrage which I felt, interestingly, nor pity. It was something else. It was a state of unusual sexual excitement, and arousal.
"Smile," suggested Ligurious, himself lifting his hand graciously to the crowd. "Wave."
I controlled myself, and then, again, favored the crowd with my attentions, with my smiles and countenance.
At one time, later, we passed by a set of low, broad, recessed-from-the-street, cement steps or shelves. Behind these levels, these shelves or steps, there was a high cement wall. There were several women, perhaps ten or eleven, on these steps or shelves. Most were white but there were at least two blacks and, I think, one Asian. Each was naked, absolutely. Too, chains ran from heavy rings to their bodies, to perhaps a lovely neck, or a fair wrist or ankle. They were fastened in place, literally, on the cement shelves. As the retinue passed, they oriented themselves to the street and knelt, their heads down to the warm cement. There were more rings than there were women on the shelves, and there were rings, too, set at various heights, in the wall behind the shelves. These rings, too, however, like many of the shelf rings, were not being used. There was an apparatus at one side, like a canopy wrapped about poles, but it, too, was not now in use.
I looked at the women, naked, kneeling, their heads down, chained on the shelves.
"More s
laves," explained Ligurious.
Again I fought for breath. I clutched the side of the palanquin to steady myself.
"What is wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said. "Nothing."
"It was only an open-air market," he said, "a small one. There are several such in Corcyrus."
"A market!" I said.
"Yes," he said.
"But what is bought and sold there?" I asked. I recalled the naked, chained beauties.
"Women," he said.
"Women!" I said.
"Yes," he said.
"I see," I said. How matter-of-factly he had put that! Such markets, clearly, like other sorts of markets, were a common feature of Gorean life.
"Bow, and wave," he suggested.
Again I lifted my hand to the crowds. Again I smiled forth from the palanquin.
But I began to tremble. I had seen owned, displayed human females, women who were merchandise, women who were literally up for sale.
"Put them from your mind," said Ligurious. "They are nothing, only slaves."
How terrifying, how horrifying, I thought, to be such a woman, one at the mercy of anyone who has the means to buy her. What a horrifying and categorical thing it would be, I thought, to be subject to sale.
"Hail Sheila, Tatrix of Corcyrus!" I heard.
"The people love you," said Ligurious.
On this world, I said to myself, a woman could be literally owned by a man. She could be as much his, literally, as a shoe or a dog. I fought the feelings within me. I strove against them. I tried to force the memory of the women chained on the shelves from my mind. I could not do so. I moaned. Then I could no longer deny to myself that I was aroused sexually, helplessly and terribly. The crowds, from time to time, surged closer to the palanquin. The guards, flanking the palanquin on both sides, pressed them back with the sides of spears. Among these guards, though he did not have a spear, was Drusus Rencius. He had been assigned to me, some weeks ago, as my personal guard. Behind the retinue, following it, came soldiers. Some of these had canvas sacks slung about their shoulders. From these sacks, from time to time, they would fling coins, and bits of coins, to the street. This was, I thought, a nice gesture. The people would scramble for these coins. It seemed they found them very precious. I continued to smile and wave to the crowd. From time to time, too, I stole a glance at Drusus Rencius. He, however, walking beside the palanquin, had eyes only for the crowd. Outside, perhaps, I seemed charming and benign. Inside, however, almost uncontrollable emotions raged within me. On what sort of world was this that I found myself! I had not known a woman could be so aroused! Again I looked at Drusus Rencius, and the others, guardsmen of Corcyrus. I wondered what it would be like to be owned by a man such as one of those. The thought almost made me faint with passion. I had no doubt they well knew how to teach a woman her slavery. I would be kept by them true to my womanhood, by the lash, if necessary.
Kajira of Gor Page 8