by Hannah Gray
I’ve always been one who loves a good comeback game. Though I do hate that it started so rough for him.
“Sure was. I saw you over there, checking out the wide receiver’s ass,” I tease her.
I’m not sure if she was looking at his ass, but she was certainly looking down in the direction of Knox Carter. To my knowledge, they haven’t talked since that time a few weeks ago at the movies. He’s tried to call a bunch though. I can tell she’s liking the chase.
Not that I can blame her. Who doesn’t enjoy being hunted?
“Was not.” She blushes. “Okay, maybe a little. What can I say? It’s a nice ass.”
I burst out laughing. Something about a seemingly sweet and innocent girl talking about a guy’s ass is hilarious.
“I got a glimpse of it, girlfriend. It’s a nice ass,” I agree.
“Hey, Sloane! Sloane’s friend!” an extremely chipper voice chirps.
Turning, I see a tall, leggy redhead. Her boobs are pushed clear up to her chin. Which is easy for her to do because they are ginormous. And fake.
“Hi, Rachelle.” Sloane smiles, but it doesn’t seem that sincere. “Some game, huh?”
“I wouldn’t know. I was too busy ogling the man meat to pay attention.” She pretends to fan herself. “So, will you two be going to the party at the football house off-campus?”
“Oh, I’m not sure. Probably not.” Sloane shakes her head softly.
“More men for me.” Redhead chomps on her gum obnoxiously. “Storm, Knox, or Weston … one of those boys will be slamming me into the headboard before midnight.”
“We’ll be there,” Sloane and I squeal at the same time.
Unfazed, she pulls a tube of lip gloss from her back pocket and smears some on before rubbing her lips together aggressively. “Guess I’ll see you there.”
Watching her sashay away, I turn to Sloane, raising an eyebrow. “I know my reasons for the change of heart, but what are yours?”
She groans. “Because she sleeps with everybody. She’s the campus bicycle—everyone rides her.”
“And?” I tilt my head.
“And I don’t want her to sleep with Knox.” She puts a hand over her eyes. “I don’t know why.”
“Eh, don’t feel bad.” I shrug. “I sure as shit am not going to let her fuck Cole either. Especially not after the shit he pulled in math class. I’ll show him I can be a pretty good cockblocker too.” An evil grin covers my face. “Let’s do the damn thing.”
ten
Cole
“Here, brother,” Knox says, handing me a beer. “You need it after the fucking bashing you took tonight.”
“Thanks.” I take it and grin. “This and about ten ibuprofens ought to do the trick. Thank fuck the guys finally cut the shit. Not sure how many more hits I could have taken on that field.”
I’m sore. My muscles ache, and my skin is bruised. But we won. And at the end, we were a team. I call that worth it.
“You boys looked good out there.” A redhead rubs my arm before doing the same to Knox’s. “Reeeally good,” she says slowly, biting her lip.
Shrugging her off of me, I take a step back. “Thanks.”
Knox takes that opportunity to leave.
Asshole.
She has me cornered. And while I can be a dick, I don’t want to hurt this chick’s feelings.
“Are you—”
“Not interested,” I grunt. “Sorry.”
Her lip pokes out, but she recovers quickly. “I’m just interested in one night …”
Now, I’m all for this chick wanting to get hers. This is college, and it’s time for fun. But there are not enough drinks in here to make me sleep with her. Or anybody for that matter. The guys would laugh if they knew that I’d only been with one chick, but honestly, I don’t give a fuck. I guarantee with that one girl—Ally—I’ve experienced more sex than they ever will.
I see Ally walking toward us, her eyes burning into the back of this red-haired chick’s head like fire pokers.
She looks vicious as hell for someone who claims she doesn’t want to be my problem anymore.
I’m not surprised when she struts right up. I just have no fucking clue what she’s going to say. That’s the thing with her—at times, she’s unpredictable.
Stopping in front of me, she turns her body toward the horny chick.
“Girl to girl, be careful.” She leans closer to the girl. “Word around campus is, he has untreated crabs.” Moving her eyes to me, she smirks. “Those can be nasty little critters to deal with.”
This girl just told someone I have an STD. What in the actual fuck?
The chick glances at me and then back to Ally.
She snarls at Ally, “Why didn’t you say that earlier then? I told you I was planning to be fucked against his headboard.” Turning toward me, she licks her lips. “Hard.”
“Among two others,” Ally deadpans. “And sorry, sweetheart, I would have told you, but I kinda thought you were kidding. I didn’t think you actually came to parties, hoping to jump on a dick.”
Red’s mouth hangs open at Ally’s harsh words.
“Well, how do you know what he has? Have you two been together?”
“No way, girlfriend.” Ally shakes her head nonchalantly. “But a girl in my science class was with him, and … well, long story short, she ended up at the free clinic not long after.”
Ally isn’t even taking a fucking science class right now. I would know. I had her entire schedule printed off.
Glancing between Ally and me, the redhead slowly backs away before stalking off.
Eyeing Ally closely, I smirk. “If I had crabs, that would sure suck for you, doll.” I move my entire body into hers, invading her space, and her eyes shut as I do. “Because then, I’m guessing, you wouldn’t want me to fuck you, right?”
Her body shudders at my words.
“You wouldn’t want my dick inside of you right now if that were the case. Would you, baby girl?”
“You want to play cockblocker, dickwad?” She steps up to me, fearless, as she always is. “Let’s. Fucking. Play.”
“You didn’t want ol’ Kent’s dick anyway, Allycat. We both know that. And I sure as fuck didn’t want the redhead with the fake tits.” Moving my mouth to her ear, I drop my voice lower. “You know I like mine real,” I say before stepping back.
Rolling her eyes, she huffs before marching off. No doubt irritated that she didn’t get under my skin.
Everybody loves a good game of cat and mouse. Ally has proven that she certainly does. But I’m not playing for much longer. She needs to be reminded who she belongs to. And that’s me.
Ally
Gazing up at the stars, I want to kick myself in the ass for letting my feelings for Cole get the best of me. He fucked the girl at the movie theater. In a goddamn restroom. So, why did I show up here, acting like me stopping him from screwing this one chick is going to make one damn bit of difference in who he takes home at the next party?
I might pretend I want to get in the way of him sleeping with someone else strictly because of the shit he pulled with that Kent dude. But really, I just can’t stand the thought of him being with anyone but me. I thought we’d be each other’s first, last, and only. Now that that’s gone, it seems like everything else is out of reach.
“You out here, thinking about if fucking me is worth the crabs?”
I turn to see Cole standing under the porch light.
“Some shit you pulled in there, sweetheart.”
“Some shit you pulled in my math class. Showing up like a stalker and sending Kent away.”
He grins, and that damn dimple pops out. I have to avert my gaze so that my heart doesn’t do that annoying fluttery thing.
“Kent’s muscles might be big, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that the dude’s got no brain. He’s a few French fries short of a Happy Meal. You didn’t want any, Al. I saved ya.”
“Oh, gee, thanks,” I say sarcastically. “How thoug
htful of you.”
Lifting his drink, he throws it back with ease.
“That’s a deadly habit,” I joke.
“So are you.” He shrugs. “Yet here I am, coming right back for more.”
“I didn’t ask for you to crop up in random places and try to stake claim in my doings,” I say, holding my arms out at my sides. “I’m doing just fine without you, dick.”
His eyes burn into mine for a moment. Intense anger radiates from them and into me. I can feel everything he is right now.
I think he hates me. I really think he hates me.
“Good,” he mumbles before turning toward the door. “Glad to fucking hear it.”
As he walks in the door, he lets it slam behind him.
How did we get here? How did two people who had each other’s backs the way we did end up burning each other down the way that we are?
I lied. I’m not fine. Not without him. And I fear I never will be. No. I know I never will be.
eleven
Cole
“Shit, man. That tattoo of the hot angel is fucking huge,” Knox says, leaning over me. “Your back is damn near covered, and yet you have none on your abdomen or arms?” Scratching his chin, he eyes it over again. “Wait, is this huge-ass angel Ally?”
“Holy shit, it is!” Weston laughs. “Fuck, man, you got it bad!”
“Piss off,” I grunt.
“All right, all right. Anyway, why no tats on your stomach, chest, legs, arms, face? Do you have any on your pecker?” Knox laughs. “That would be painful as fuck.”
“No, asshole, I don’t have my dick tatted, Jesus. And I don’t know why I don’t have any anywhere else. But I am getting one today, right here.” I point to the inside of my upper arm.
The ones on my back cover shit that I don’t want to see. That’s their purpose—to hide the past. The rest of my body doesn’t have any scars on them. So, the way I see it, it’s fine to be left alone.
I hand the piece of paper to the tattoo artist, and he looks at it and glances at me. “You want Love, Ally with the letters X-O under it?”
I nod. “Yep. In that writing. Exactly that writing.”
The letter that I had from Ally was what got me through the days while she was gone. Reading her words, knowing they were for me, carried me through. Making life a little less painful.
“He’s so fucking whipped,” Knox whispers to Weston. “So. Fucking. Whipped.”
“You’re just jealous because Sloane won’t touch your wiener,” Weston answers, watching me carefully, giving me a knowing look.
He’s never talked about a girl, but something tells me he’s got some scars from one, just like me.
“What’s your future wife going to say”—Knox laughs—“when she sees you’ve got a chick’s name on your arm?”
“Well, considering she’ll be my wife, I think she’ll be fine with it,” I state matter-of-factly.
“Ohh shiiiit,” he says under his breath before pretending to whip the air.
“Laugh it up, fellas. One day, you’ll be doing this same fucking shit.” I give them a pointed look. “Then, you’ll understand.”
twelve
Ally
Most Sundays, I work a double, but today, I only worked the morning shift, leaving the rest of my day free for schoolwork and exploring the campus with Sloane.
After getting our iced coffees, we walk the sidewalk toward the quad. Feeling like completely normal college kids, living the life. And I have to say, if Cole wasn’t here, at this campus, I don’t know if it would feel so much like home.
Knowing he walks the same sidewalks as I do, goes to the same library, and eats at the same shitty food court, it somehow brings me comfort. I don’t feel as much like a stranger in this place.
“I love this place.” Sloane smiles. “This campus just feels so free.”
“Free?” I raise an eyebrow. “Interesting word choice.”
“Yes, free. No parents, no curfews, no prior engagements—aside from class, of course. Free.”
“Free,” I singsong. Realizing that the word free could mean different things to her and me. Yet I have to agree with her. Here, I do feel free.
A truck I instantly recognize as Cole’s comes roaring up beside us with Knox hanging out the window, his hat on backward.
“Hellooo, ladies.” Knox whistles.
Sloane gives him a small wave and giggles.
Cole tips his chin up at the iced coffee in my hand. “What? Giving up the Diet Coke for the harder stuff?”
Up until a few months ago, I had never even tried iced coffee. Or any coffee at all. I was Diet Coke all day, every day. But now that I’ve indulged in this sweet goodness, I don’t think I’ll ever give it up.
“Oh, please,” I scoff. “Diet Coke is the crack of my life. I’ll never give that shit up. But this”—I hold my cup up—“I’ve discovered is pretty damn good too.”
“I see,” he drawls. He leans forward on his steering wheel, his muscles rippling against his shirt, making my mouth water.
“You beautiful ladies need a ride?” Knox asks, his eyes never leaving Sloane. “Maybe hang out a bit?”
I don’t miss the glare he receives from Cole. He never did like anyone else calling me beautiful. Seems as though not much has changed when it comes to that.
“We’re good,” I call back before looking at Sloane. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to go. Do you, uh, want to go with them?” I ask her in a hushed voice.
Tucking her blonde hair behind her ear, she glances over at the stopped truck. “Sort of, but if you don’t want to, we totally don’t have to. It’s okay either way. We can just go home. I’m fi—”
“Stop rambling,” I tease her. “You always act like I’m going to bite your head off.” I regret the words as soon as they come out. I pat her arm. “If you want to go, we’ll go. It’s cool.”
“Really?” she hush-squeals.
“Really, really,” I answer, trying to sound more enthused than I am. I fail miserably. Luckily, she doesn’t seem to notice.
The truth is, I’d love to hang out with Cole again. But there’s one part of me that feels pain just by being around him. The floodgates open, and bam, in come the memories. Memories that I can’t talk about with him, and I suck at keeping secrets.
Then, there’s the other part of me that knows how easy it would be to fall back into the same old thing with him.
It’s a lose-lose situation.
“So, what’s it going to be, ladies?” Knox says, his eyes fixed on Sloane.
Sloane shrugs shyly before walking toward the truck. “Guess we’re going to take you up on that.”
Following her to the truck, we climb into the backseat.
Even though I rode in his truck the other night, it was dark, and I didn’t get to see how fancy it really is. With stitched black leather and TVs in the headrests of the truck, this thing is insane. We never could have even dreamed up this type of shit, growing up the way that we did. And here he is, living it.
I feel a twang of jealousy in my gut. But not because I’m jealous of him having nice things—that isn’t it at all. It actually makes me happy that he does because I know how much he deserves it for all he’s been through. I’m jealous because it’s no longer him and me against the world. He has a family. And I don’t. Cole was my family. Key word: was.
But he deserves all the luxuries life has to offer. What I didn’t realize was how much it would hurt, recognizing that just because life stopped for me didn’t mean it stopped for him. Actually, quite the opposite, it seems. I was clawing my way out of hell while he’s been living the high life. I can’t help but wonder if he even noticed I was gone. I know that’s me being crazy though. Because I know he loved me. Yet seeing his new life leaves an ache deep inside my gut.
“You’re awfully quiet back there, Allycat,” Cole says while flicking his eyes to mine in the mirror.
“Just taking in your new lifestyle�
�that’s all,” I murmur. “This truck is ridiculous.”
“You be a good girl, and I’ll even let you drive it.” He winks.
“Gee, thanks,” I mutter before staring out the window as we pass by the campus’s large brick buildings.
I don’t know when I’ll ever stop having this feeling of resentment when I look at him. I wish I could stop it. Sure, the other feelings and attraction are all still there too. But when it comes down to it all, I’m pissed at him. I thought he’d find a way to get to me. I needed him. I still do.
These thoughts didn’t start all at once. The day I was forced to leave Charlotte’s Falls, he wasn’t around. And all I wanted to do was get to him. When I was packed up on that bus at the age of seventeen, I wanted more than anything to tell him I wasn’t leaving by choice. And beg him to save me.
But the longer I sat with the reality of what had happened to me, the more the anger slowly sprouted, growing with each day that passed that he didn’t come find me. I’d sworn he would. He was the only one who could help me. But he was apparently at his new family’s house in Florida.
“You two want to come over and watch a movie?” Knox asks, directing his words mainly to Sloane.
She glances at me, so I mouth, Up to you.
It’s funny. Cole’s never been a big movie watcher. He’d watch some comedies I forced him to see, but he’d bitch the entire time. He’s always had a hard time with just staying still for very long. He always needs to be on the go. We’d go on jogs or to the gym, where he’d work out and I’d ogle his body, and sometimes, we’d just have sex to fill the quiet. He just wasn’t comfortable with being still. Me? The still is where I find serenity. I need that quietness sometimes.
“Sure. That sounds nice,” she tells him.
We’re going to watch a movie with Cole and Knox.
What could possibly go wrong?
Not long after getting to the guys’ dorm, Knox and Sloane go to his room. Because he has one … you know, a room. Of his own.
Dick.
The dorms athletes get are much nicer and a helluva lot bigger than the dinky ones us normal college kids get.