by Emily Forbes
‘I think it’s time you told me something about you. I’ve known you for years through Evie but I don’t actually know anything about your life, whereas I feel you know everything about me.’
‘Even what you wear to bed,’ he teased in reply.
Bella felt herself blushing again. ‘See, it’s only fair that you tell me something about yourself now.’
‘Okay, but if I bore you, you only have yourself to blame.’ He paused momentarily as he took some vegetables from a bowl in the centre of the table and added them to the beef fillet on his plate. ‘Let’s see, I’m the youngest of three siblings, an older brother and an older sister. We grew up in Wollongong, south of Sydney, my dad was a professional fisherman, mum is a nurse. I was a little bit wild as a kid. The Gong has some of the best surf beaches in the country and my mates and I spent just about every afternoon after school in the ocean. That’s where I learnt to surf.’
Bella closed her eyes and imagined spending lazy afternoons lying on a warm beach or diving through the waves.
‘Am I boring you already?’ Charlie laughed.
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. She was happy in his company and happy to listen to him share some of his past with her. It made her feel special. ‘No, I’m just imagining what it would have been like to be so lucky. I would have loved to have had that freedom.’
‘I was given a long leash partly because of the community we lived in and partly by circumstances,’ he told her.
‘What do you mean?’
‘My father had an accident at work when I was fifteen. He was out at sea, chasing a large school of fish, when a big storm hit. The crane on the fishing boat was damaged and fell onto Dad, fracturing his spine. That was the end of his days as a fisherman. He’s in a wheelchair now. You might say I didn’t cope very well at the time,’ he said with a wry smile. ‘Mum was understandably caught up in Dad’s needs and I was angry, thinking I’d lost the father I knew. That’s when I went a little bit wild. As long as I was home before dark no one minded where I was. I think it was easier if they didn’t have to worry about me too. I had always surfed, most of the local kids did, and after Dad’s accident I spent more time in the water than out of it. It was an escape. I went looking for freedom. I couldn’t stand being cooped up in the house. I think seeing my father confined to a wheelchair, seeing him lose his freedom, made me hungry to make sure I had my own and I found that in surfing.’
‘And later did they start to worry about where you were or did you run wild for the rest of your teenage years?’ Bella wondered if she and Charlie had something in common after all. Were they both products of emotionally absent parents?
‘Eventually things settled down at home, the dad I knew was still there, just physically different. We repaired our relationship. Dad accepted his situation more quickly than I did, he was amazing really. Mum too. Once I learnt to deal with the changes we were okay. Mum got a routine established and I was still allowed a lot of freedom but mum and dad needed to know where I was. By then I was quite a good surfer and I loved it. I think Mum was happy for me to be down at the beach as it meant I burnt off a lot of energy, although I’m not sure they were quite so happy when I won the junior world title and announced I was deferring university to join the professional surfing tour.’ He gave her a half-smile and a slight shrug. ‘But they didn’t try to talk me out of it, just persuaded me to keep my options open. Dad had never had a chance to go to uni, fishing was the only thing he knew, and when that was taken away from him he really pushed the value of getting a good education. He saw it as a form of insurance.’
‘So you had your parents’ blessing to goof off and travel the world with your surfboard?’
‘I did.’ He grinned at her then, his smile open and honest. She couldn’t see a trace of hurt or disappointment in his dark brown eyes, he looked as though he didn’t have a care in the world. But Bella couldn’t help but wonder what he’d gone through when his own accident had ended his surfing career, ended the freedom he obviously craved. But their heart-to-heart conversations had always been about her life and she felt it would be too intrusive on her part to ask him how he coped without surfing.
She chose to stay on safer, neutral ground. ‘I’m still jealous. I’ve never travelled anywhere. I feel as though I spent my childhood indoors.’
Charlie was frowning. ‘You’ve never been anywhere? I know Evie went on ski trips and didn’t she have a trip to Europe when she finished school? Didn’t you do those things too?’
She shook her head, sending her auburn curls dancing around her shoulders. ‘Evie and Lexi got to do a lot of things that I never did. Not that I blame them. It wasn’t as if it was their fault but it would have been nice to have been at my high-school graduation ball instead of in hospital or to have been sent to Paris when I finished school, but some things are just not meant to be.’
‘Didn’t I come and see you on the night of your grad ball?
Bella nodded and a warm glow suffused her, spreading from her heart through her body. He remembered. That had been the first time she’d ever spoken to Charlie alone. The first time she’d opened up to him, but she couldn’t believe he remembered. That was the night she had become infatuated by Charlie.
She had been eighteen at the time and Charlie, at twenty-five, had seemed so mature. He’d travelled the world and was studying medicine. Because she’d taken two years longer than most to finish school, the boys she’d known had all been younger than her and in comparison to Charlie they’d seemed immature and silly. Charlie had entertained her with stories about his fellow students and their university pranks and Bella had thought how wonderful it all sounded compared to the drudgery of school. For the first time she’d found herself comfortable talking to someone who wasn’t family. In Charlie’s company she was able to relax and he’d managed to make her forget all about the graduation ball. Her adoration of him had started that evening and it had never stopped.
‘You brought me flowers and chocolate,’ she said. She didn’t admit she still had the chocolate wrappers and the pressed flowers in a box in her wardrobe. In a box that contained very few keepsakes from her youth but ones that were precious nonetheless.
He grinned. ‘I knew the way to a woman’s heart even back then.’
Especially this one, she thought.
‘You’ve earned your reputation as a charmer, that’s for sure, but I still don’t know how you happened to be there that night.’
‘Evie and I were meant to be studying for our end-of-year exams but Evie was stressing because while you and Lexi should have been going to the ball together, Lexi was going and you were in hospital. Evie wanted to be in two places at once. She wanted to be with you both but that was clearly impossible. I figured we weren’t going to get any studying done so I might as well come to the rescue. I couldn’t help Lexi get ready so I volunteered to keep you company instead.’
‘That doesn’t seem fair.’
‘On whom?’
‘On you. Getting stuck with the hospital visit instead of the fun.’
‘It was fine,’ he said with a smile that took the sting out of his words. She wanted it to be better than fine. ‘According to you, it wasn’t fair that you were missing out on your high-school grad ball so keeping you company seemed like a small sacrifice.’
Bella winced. ‘Did I complain an awful lot?’
‘Actually, you didn’t, even though, in my opinion, you would have been entitled to. You seemed to accept it as par for the course. You couldn’t have behaved too terribly. I’m still here, eight years later.’
Yes, he was, but once again it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with his relationship with Evie. He’d promised Evie he’d look after her and Bella knew that was the real reason he’d agreed to help her with her list. That was the real reason they were here tonight.
‘But I didn’t realise,’ he was saying, ‘that along with missing your high-school graduation ball you never went on a ski tr
ip or a school camp either.’
‘I did get to go on one camp when I was about fifteen,’ she admitted, ‘but only because it was run by the cystic fibrosis association and Dad felt it would be okay. A whole bunch of us went away for a weekend and it wasn’t too bad. Actually, it was quite good to be with other kids who were all going through the same issues but then the camps were stopped because there seemed to be an increase in the number of hospitalisations after the camps and the medicos were worried about cross-infection between the kids.’
‘I can imagine what it was like, a camp full of teenagers with raging hormones. It’s no wonder kids got sick!’ Charlie laughed.
‘I know.’ Bella knew exactly why kids caught infections. After experiencing her first, and only, proper kiss on that camp she was one of the ones who had ended up in hospital. ‘The trouble was we couldn’t afford to be sharing germs around so that was the end of that.’
‘Well, that’s why I’m here. I’m going to make sure you get to try all those things you missed out on.’
‘I think it’s a bit late for school ski trips and my high-school graduation,’ she said.
‘Maybe,’ he agreed. ‘But will you invite me to your college graduation ceremony when you finish fashion design?’
Bella didn’t imagine for a minute that Charlie was serious but she was touched that he asked. She smiled, ‘Yes. I will.’
‘Great. Now finish your dessert so I can take you dancing.’
Bella realised then that the band was moving from dinner music into dance music. ‘Aren’t you going to finish yours?’
When Charlie shook his head Bella finished her dark chocolate mousse, minus a spoonful which she gave to Charlie to taste, and then polished off most of his Eton mess before she let him take her from the table.
He took her hand and led her past the dance floor and out onto the large open-air deck on the bow of the yacht. The music followed them.
‘Why are we out here?’
‘Wasn’t dancing under the stars one of the things on your wishlist?’ Charlie asked.
Actually, she wanted to be thoroughly and properly kissed under the stars but no way was she going to tell him that! ‘Yes, yes, it was,’ she said as she stepped into his arms. She closed her eyes and let the music flow over her as she blocked out the thought of other people on the deck watching them. She didn’t care, she wasn’t going to think about them, she was going to savour the moment, the feel of Charlie’s hand on her back, his breath on her skin. This was nearly as good as being kissed and she was determined to enjoy every second and commit the sensation to memory.
Charlie’s embrace was warm and solid, making her feel as light as air on her high heels. The skirt of her dress swirled around her calves, just as she’d pictured it, the evening air was warm and the music was the perfect tempo. Bella closed her eyes and relaxed and pretended the night was never-ending as Charlie guided her around the deck. He was a graceful dancer. He danced like he walked, fluid of movement and light of foot. Bella supposed his graceful movement was a legacy of his surfing days—he would have needed good balance and smooth changes of direction—and she gave herself over to his lead as the songs blurred into one another.
‘Look, the Opera House.’ His voice was soft in her ear.
She opened her eyes as the yacht cruised past the Opera House. The white sails, backlit by the city lights, glowed against the evening sky. Even though she could see the Opera House from her own bedroom window, seeing the famous roof from within Charlie’s arms made her feel as though she was seeing its beauty for the first time.
‘It’s magnificent, isn’t it?’ he said.
And it was. But it was poignant too because it reminded her they were now on their way back to Darling Harbour, and the night was almost over.
As if the band was in sync with her thoughts the music ended and the guests inside applauded. ‘It sounds as though that’s the end of our dancing,’ Charlie said. ‘Come.’ He kept hold of her hand as they made their way back to the table. ‘We have time for one last drink before our evening ends.’
The champagne was on ice and Charlie poured the last of it into their glasses as the dance floor cleared. ‘So,’ he asked, ‘as far as dates go, did tonight meet with your approval or is now the point in time when you tell me you never want to see me again?’
She looked across the table at him. ‘It was one of the best dates I’ve ever had,’ she said honestly. She couldn’t possibly tell him this was her first proper date. Not unless she wanted to confirm she was a total failure in the romance stakes. ‘But to be honest, I haven’t a lot to compare it to.’
Charlie laughed. ‘Careful, woman, you’re doing serious damage to my ego tonight. I was hoping to take home the prize for best night ever because it was fabulous, not because of a lack of competition.’
‘We haven’t all got as many notches in the bedpost as you reportedly have.’
‘None of them serious, though,’ Charlie told her.
‘How come? What’s been wrong with them?’ She was genuinely curious and she knew a small part of her wanted to know in case the pitfalls were easily avoided.
‘Some of them have been lovely but I’ve always measured my relationships against my passion for surfing.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘When I was surfing, if I wouldn’t choose to spend time with a girl instead of hitting the waves, I decided I wasn’t serious about her and that relationship never lasted long. I didn’t see the point. If she wasn’t special enough to make me give up an early-morning surf then she wasn’t for me. Even when I couldn’t surf, I still had that mindset. If I’m being honest, I probably thought even more about it. Surfing was a passion, the sense of freedom, the danger, the escape. A girl had to be something special to rival surfing. And when I couldn’t surf any more I had to find a new passion and I found it in medicine, not relationships.’
‘I can see how you could have a passion for medicine but it can’t be similar to surfing in terms of freedom, surely?’
‘You’d be surprised. Being in the operating theatre is a lot like being in the zone when you’re surfing. I have to be in control because, if I lose it, things go wrong. But at least I am in control. I had to make split-second decisions while I was surfing and I have to do that when I’m operating too, but they are my choices. Everything that happens is up to me and that’s a kind of freedom.’
‘Does the same apply to your relationships—do you like to have total control, a sense you can get out of it whenever you choose?’ It didn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce that Charlie still craved freedom and making sure he didn’t restrict himself by getting tied down in a serious relationship would ensure that. Even so, Bella was surprised to hear herself actually ask the question. The champagne must have loosened her tongue, she thought, she’d never normally be so forthright. Did she imagine a very slight hesitation before Charlie shook his head?
‘Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t always been the one to end relationships. Sometimes the girl has done it first.’
That surprised her too. ‘Why?’ she asked.
‘Usually because of my hours. Some of them have felt as though they haven’t been my priority. They’ve been right, but …’ he shrugged ‘… I never promised them my undivided attention. I still haven’t found a girl whom I’d choose before surfing or my work.’
She raised her glass to her lips and looked over the rim at him. Her eyes were huge and it seemed to take her a second or two to focus on him. He wondered briefly if she’d had too much to drink before he dismissed the notion as ridiculous. She’d only had two glasses of champagne over four hours and even though she was taking antibiotics it wasn’t as though she’d been drinking on an empty stomach.
She sipped her champagne and smiled at him and her grey eyes shone silver. Charlie relaxed. Perhaps she was just tired. Even though it was relatively early, she hadn’t long been out of hospital. But he’d have her home, in bed, very shortly. Looking at he
r creamy skin, her warm hair and her flushed cheeks, he thought it was a pity she’d be in bed alone.
Where did that thought spring from? he wondered. That wasn’t what the evening had been about.
He’d arranged tonight as a way of repaying a debt of gratitude he felt he owed the Lockheart family and also because he’d wanted to do something nice for Bella. It hadn’t been about feathering his own nest. But old habits died hard and he couldn’t pretend he didn’t find her attractive. Couldn’t pretend he hadn’t noticed Evie’s little sister had grown up. But that was the problem. She was Evie’s little sister. She was off limits.
Tonight was about helping make some of Bella’s dreams come true but now it was time to get her home.
She was a little unsteady on her feet as they left the yacht and, as he put his arm around her, keeping her upright, he wondered again about the wisdom of mixing antibiotics with even a small amount of alcohol. He was a doctor, he’d promised to keep her safe. He hoped he hadn’t failed to keep his word.
Their limousine was waiting and Charlie bundled Bella into the warm interior. There was another bottle of champagne on ice but he ignored that and poured them both a glass of water instead. Bella drained hers in a few seconds and Charlie could feel her staring at him while he refilled her glass.
‘Why did you shave your head?’ she asked.
Yep. He’d definitely let her down. That didn’t sound like something a sober Bella would ask. It was far too personal.
‘It was time for a change.’ That was partially true but the whole truth was far more complicated than that and tonight was about Bella. It wasn’t the time to tell her about Pippa.