by Emily Forbes
‘Charlie will be here in half an hour. He’s organised another date. That’s what the marquee is for.’
‘What do you mean, “he’s organised another date”?’ Bella was frowning as she was looking out of the conservatory windows. The marquee was for Charlie? ‘How did he do this?’ she asked, waving one hand in the general direction of the garden. ‘And how do you know so much about it—did you help him?’
Lexi was nodding. ‘Rosa and I agreed to help.’
‘You should be spending your time organising your wedding,’ Bella argued. Lexi was constantly telling her how much time it was going to take to organise the wedding so she should be spending every spare minute on that, then the wedding might actually happen sooner rather than later.
‘Charlie can be very charming and persuasive when he wants to be,’ Lexi replied. ‘I thought this was more important.’
Bella knew she should argue but she couldn’t think straight. Charlie had organised another date for them? She was getting a second chance? She forgot all about being tired as she ran upstairs to get changed. Lexi had said he’d be there soon. Bella had to get it right this time.
When she emerged from the shower she found that Lexi had selected an outfit for her. She assumed Lexi knew what the date entailed so she dressed in the clothes that were laid out on her bed. She’d chosen white cotton trousers, a white camisole and a lightweight caftan to wear over the top. The caftan was made from sheer cotton that had been printed with a pale green and white pattern with a scattering of beads hand sewn onto it. She teamed the outfit with flat sandals and put her medications into a small silver purse. She left her freshly washed hair loose, the curls cascading around her shoulders, and applied the bare minimum of make-up, mascara, lip gloss and a touch of blush.
‘Ciao, Bella.’ Charlie was waiting for her in the conservatory when she came back downstairs and hearing his familiar greeting made her catch her breath. He stood and came to meet her and she watched as his plump, juicy lips spread into a wide smile. He was casually dressed in denim jeans and a T-shirt that moulded nicely to his chest and his chocolate-brown eyes shone with good humour.
He kissed her on the cheek, pressing his delicious lips against her skin, and a tingle of desire shot through her, warming her from the inside. ‘Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise to take better care of you this time,’ he said.
Not for one moment had she blamed Charlie for her condition the other night. It hadn’t been his fault at all but she couldn’t formulate the words to tell him so.
He cocked one elbow and waited for her to slide her arm through the gap before he covered her hand with his. She trembled under his touch.
‘Shall we?’ he asked.
She took a deep breath and nodded, eager to find out what lay in store for her tonight. With arms linked, they stepped into the garden and walked across the lawn towards the marquee. The grass sloped gently away from the house towards the harbour and the expanse was large enough for the water to still be visible past the marquee. Ferries criss-crossed the water, leaving a trail of white behind in their wakes, and a very slight breeze carried the sound of ferries tooting as they docked and departed from the Mosman Bay wharf to the west of the Lockheart home. The breeze also carried the perfume from the frangipani trees that hugged the boundary fence and had just started flowering. Across the water Bella could see the city lights and the shining white sails of the Opera House. The tent was enclosed on three sides and had been positioned with the open side facing the harbour. Bella knew they would have views of the city from within but the views paled into insignificance as Charlie led her around to the front of the marquee and took her inside.
‘Oh, it looks beautiful,’ she sighed.
The interior of the marquee had been set up to resemble a picnic. The space inside the small marquee was intimate but dominated by a massive Persian rug which had been laid out in the centre of the tent. The carpet was scattered with brightly patterned, oversize cushions and cashmere blankets, and fat candles and hurricane lamps were grouped in the corners of the marquee, casting a warm glow around the space. Fairy-lights had been strung up
against the ceiling, giving the illusion they would be dining under the stars. Music was playing softly in the background and picnic baskets were lined up along one wall beside a large metal tub filled with ice that held an assortment of drinks.
‘I thought we’d stay on dry land this time,’ Charlie said as Bella stood, fixed to the spot, mesmerised by the colour and light and amazed by the effort Charlie had gone to. Somehow he’d managed to create a little oasis in the middle of a suburban garden in the centre of the city. ‘Make yourself comfortable,’ he said as he guided her towards the pile of cushions. ‘I’m going to mix us a couple of baby Bellinis.’
Bella was about to protest, she wasn’t planning on touching a drop of alcohol tonight, but Charlie interrupted her. ‘It’s okay, I’m using non-alcoholic cider, not champagne,’ he said as he retrieved the peach nectar from the tub of ice. ‘These will be perfect for our picnic.’
From the middle of the tent Bella could still see across the harbour but she had the sense they had the world to themselves, everything and everyone else seemed so far away.
‘How on earth did you manage to organise all this?’ she asked as he handed her a champagne glass.
‘I can’t take all the credit. I had some inside help. Evie told me you’d be out most of the day, Lexi got the marquee set up and Rosa has spent the day cooking your favourite things. I just told them what I had in mind. My only concern was that you’d be wiped out after your day of appointments.’
Her earlier fatigue had vanished in the excitement of the evening. ‘I’m good, just starving,’ she said as she slipped her sandals off and sat cross-legged on a cushion. Charlie stretched out beside her and his hand rested inches from her thigh. She wanted to pick his hand up and put it on her leg but before she had a chance he was on the move again.
‘I haven’t known you to be anything but hungry,’ he said as he jumped up and searched through the picnic baskets, returning with two platters of appetisers, one warm and one cold. Pâté, smoked salmon and grapes on one, filo pastries and spring rolls on the other. Rosa must have transferred the food from the kitchen to the marquee while she had been in the shower. But surely all that food couldn’t have been for them?
‘How was your day?’ he asked as he put the platters on the carpet between them.
‘Interesting,’ she replied.
‘Who did you see?’
‘I had a few tests, blood work, lung function, the usual, and saw Marco D’Avello and John Allen. At least John didn’t tell me I’m crazy,’ she said as she spread pâté onto a biscuit.
Charlie smiled. ‘That would be a psychiatrist’s job, John’s a psychologist.’
‘I know, but it always makes me nervous when someone starts delving into my psyche. It’s only a matter of time before someone decides I’m a bit loopy. But he was more interested in whether I’ve got a good support network—although that could potentially open a whole other can of worms if he expects my parents to come to the party. Luckily I’ve got Lexi and Evie.’
‘You’re not expecting your parents to step up?’
Bella shook her head as she swallowed the pâté and biscuit. ‘I’ve learnt it’s better not to expect anything, particularly where my mother is concerned. She has very little to do with any of us. It’s been that way for years. And she certainly hasn’t wanted anything to do with me. I’m not glamorous enough—’
‘You can’t be serious,’ Charlie interrupted. ‘That can’t be right?’
Bella shrugged. She appreciated his vote of confidence, even though she thought he was wrong. ‘I’m sure it’s part of it but I also think she can’t handle having a sick child. Anything less than perfection isn’t allowed in her world. If she could have removed me from her world, I think she would have. Instead, she removed herself from us.’
Charlie couldn’t beg
in to imagine what Bella’s life had been like. He knew she’d never wanted for material things but he could hear in her tone how much she longed just to be loved. He wondered how different her life would have been if she’d been healthy, if she hadn’t been born with a defective gene. But he guessed they’d never know the answer to that question.
A fierce protectiveness rose up in him, stemming from anger towards Miranda Lockheart. Did she have any idea how her behaviour and her choices had hurt her daughters? Did she have any remorse? He knew Miranda’s alcoholism was an illness but it was treatable. Unlike Bella’s cystic fibrosis, Miranda could be controlled if treated if only she sought help. But as far as he knew, she hadn’t tried and if she wasn’t willing to do that then it was obvious her daughters were not her priority. ‘What about your father? Have you been able to depend on him?’
‘Financially I have, but while he’s been in the picture more than Mum he’s never really spent any time with me, not like he has with Lexi.’ She shrugged again. ‘I don’t think he knew what to do with me. You heard him in hospital last week, he’s used to throwing money at problems to solve them or make them go away, and if something can’t be fixed with money, he doesn’t know what else to do. With me, he paid for nurses and made me their responsibility so he could ignore the issue, ignore me.’
Charlie may not have had Bella’s privileged background but he had a solid, tight-knit family and that included parents who had helped him find his place in the world. Even in his darkest days, when his surfing career had prematurely ended, no one could have taken his family away from him. Bella had her sisters but she deserved more, all three of the girls did.
‘My life is what it is,’ she said as she selected a slice of smoked salmon. ‘Let’s talk about something else.’
He was constantly amazed by her selfless nature. Even now she wasn’t going to condemn her parents over her upbringing.
She stood up gracefully, unfolding herself from her cross-legged position on the cushion, and wandered over to the picnic baskets. ‘What else did Rosa make me to eat?’ she asked as she peered into the baskets.
Charlie followed Bella to the picnic baskets. Rosa had left crusty bread, sliced roast meats, mustards, salads, boiled eggs, mini savoury pastries, cheeses, fruit and a whole basket full of chocolate desserts. Looking at the amount of food, he was pleased he’d managed to organise the picnic in Bella’s back garden. He knew she’d envisaged a private picnic but he hoped it was more about the company and less about the location—he certainly didn’t fancy carrying these heavily laden baskets across a field to set up next to a meandering creek. This was far more civilised; he just hoped it satisfied Bella’s expectations. He opened a third basket and handed her a china plate, silver cutlery and a linen napkin, and once she’d made her selection he followed suit before resuming his position on the Persian carpet.
‘I put my college application in yesterday,’ Bella told him as she sat beside him.
‘Good girl.’ He was thrilled she’d actually done something for herself for a change. ‘How did it feel?’
‘Terrifying,’ she admitted. ‘It’s been years since I studied and even then I wasn’t very good at it. I was eighteen when I finished school, two years later than I should have. You know Lexi and I did year twelve together and I wouldn’t have got through without her help. That’s why I was so reluctant to apply for fashion design, I didn’t think I’d be able to do it. I still don’t. But I’ll give it a go.’
He was inexplicably proud of her. Tackling a tertiary degree was obviously a major hurdle for her to overcome. ‘Studying a topic you love will be totally different from what you did at school.’ He just hoped, having pushed her to apply, that she wouldn’t be disappointed. He hoped she’d love it.
‘That’s what I’m praying for.’
‘You’re so passionate about design, I’m sure you’ll enjoy every minute of it.’
‘I hope so. I’m excited as well as terrified, if that makes sense, but you were right, it will be good to have something to look forward to. If I do have this transplant I can’t sit around doing nothing for the rest of my life.’
‘I’m sure you haven’t been doing nothing,’ he said as he realised she could have been doing just that for eight years. But that didn’t gel with the woman he thought she was or with the woman he wanted her to be.
‘I suppose not, but I can’t say I’ve been doing anything terribly worthwhile either, although I do enjoy doing some interior decorating on behalf of the Lockheart Foundation.’
‘Interior decorating?’
‘Yes. Dad quite regularly buys flats around the hospital. He donates them to the hospital and they use them as short-term accommodation for country families who need somewhere to stay. I get to decorate the ones that need it
and furnish them before they’re handed over to the hospital. I enjoy doing that.’
‘How can you say that’s not worthwhile? Think of all the families who benefit from what you’ve done.’
‘I guess, but it’s not like your job. You do so much good.’
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. You give people somewhere nice to stay when they’re going through a tough time and once you’ve got your fashion design degree you’ll be able to help people’s self-esteem.’
‘That’s a lovely thing to say but it’s hardly in your league.’
‘Don’t underestimate the power of self-confidence,’ he told her. ‘Your designs could give people that.’
She smiled at him. ‘You have a knack of making me feel better about myself. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he said, as he fetched a bowl of strawberries and a bowl of dipping chocolate. He didn’t know about making Bella feel better but her smile made him feel invincible. She groaned and stretched her arms over her head as he returned to the rug. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes. I think I just need to rest before I tackle dessert,’ she said as she lay back on the cushion. ‘Thank you for organising tonight. No one has ever done anything like this for me before.’
It broke his heart to think of how much Bella had missed out on, how little attention she’d been given. ‘I’m glad I could surprise you,’ he said as he vowed to do more to help her realise the dreams she had on her wishlist.
‘I feel like I’ve been let loose on the world. No one asking how I feel, or getting me to breathe in and out, no one taking blood samples or poking and prodding. I can pretend I’m just like everyone else,’ she said as she shuffled over to make room for him on the rug.
He placed the two bowls by her knees and lay on his side, facing her. They were inches apart. He could see the faint, individual freckles that were scattered across the bridge of her nose and her grey eyes shone silver in the candlelight. She wanted to be like everyone else but she was so different from anyone he knew. And it wasn’t because of her illness, although perhaps that had contributed. She had a vulnerability about her but he knew that was deceptive because he’d seen her strength of character time and again; and she had a generosity that was uncommon. She was a selfless person and she made him want to be more selfless too.
He took a strawberry from the bowl and dipped it into the chocolate. ‘Can I tempt you?’ he asked as he held the strawberry above her lips. She reached up and brought his hand down towards her. She parted her lips and bit into the berry with tiny white teeth.
She rolled onto her side towards him as she swallowed the strawberry. His hand dropped to her hip and then he was motionless. His other hand was supporting his head and he could feel his biceps tighten with the effort. He watched as Bella slowly, hesitantly, stretched out her hand and traced the bulge of his biceps.
In the distance a ferry tooted but the two of them were silent.
Charlie lifted his hand from her hip and threaded his fingers through her auburn curls. They were soft and springy under his touch. He shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be touching her like this, she was supposed to be off limits, but he couldn’t resist
. The movement of his arm made the hem of his T-shirt ride up, exposing his abdominals. He saw Bella’s silvery grey eyes drop to his waist and follow the movement of his shirt. She removed her hand from his arm, slid her fingers under his T-shirt and traced the ridge of his abdominal muscles. Her fingers blazed a trail of fire across his skin and made him catch his breath.
He released her curls and caught her hand in his, stilling her movement as he entwined his fingers with hers. Bella held his hand and ran her thumb along his fingers. He tried to fight the attraction that was building in him. He tried to do the right thing but then Bella lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed the tips of his fingers then placed his hand over her heart, holding it against her chest. He could feel the swell of her breast under his palm. Her eyes were enormous. Her lips were parted and he could feel her warm breath on his face.
He knew he should resist but he also knew he was powerless to do so.
They were frozen in time and space. Their gazes locked as they held onto each other, as he tried to fight temptation and tried to resist desire.
He wasn’t sure who moved first but suddenly the space between them, which was infinitesimal to begin with, had disappeared. Nothing separated them. Bella’s eyes were closed, her lashes dark against her pale cheeks, and then his lips were on hers. Her lips were on his.
Desire and temptation had won.
It was a gentle kiss, a soft exploration, a beginning. He shouldn’t be doing this but her lips were so warm, pliable and tender and now that he’d started he didn’t want to stop. But he had to stop, he needed to stop. She was Evie’s little sister, she wasn’t his to conquer. He pulled back, releasing her, and watched as she opened her eyes. They were dark grey now, her pupils had grown so large the silvery grey was barely visible around the edges, and he knew she’d come back for more.
Would that make it all right? If she came to him, would that make it okay?
This time he watched and waited. It had to be Bella’s choice.
She closed the gap. He waited until her lips covered his and then he took over. She tasted so sweet. His tongue teased her lips open and she didn’t resist. She opened her mouth to him and their tongues met. She tasted like chocolate and strawberries. Warm chocolate.