Above our heads is my board, strapped to the ceiling. That board means so much to me, but now it feels like it means nothing at all.
“Have you been riding it, Dad?”
“That board? No, the only feet that should ever touch that board are yours. Do you remember your first ride?”
“Not really Dad, no.”
“Let me tell you about it.” I’m not in the mood to hear it, but as he continues to talk, it makes me very sentimental. “You were here, at San Onofre. You wanted nothing more than to surf. It was all you talked about. The only problem was you couldn’t be out there alone. So every morning, you had to wait for me to get up, take your board out, and help you surf.
“The first time though, was something special. I woke up, only to find that you were gone. Scared as any parent would be, I woke your mother to tell her. She frantically ran out of the motorhome to find you with your board in tow. You were dragging this very board to the water—you must’ve been five years old. Your mother was about to yell at you when I stopped her. I told her to wait and see, you knew how to swim, and maybe this was your time. She watched you while biting her fingernails as you made your way to the surf. You never noticed—you were too focused on your goal. You have always been that way.
“Once in the water, you continued to drag the board out, fighting the small waves, that were so big to you. You were so tiny. When you got to the spot you wanted, you hopped on the board and waited. That board was more like a boat to you. A wave came and caught your board. Just like that, you were off. You stood up on the board with a smile on your face the likes of which I have never seen since. As you caught a glimpse of us, you started to cheer and yell. Your mother, with her hands over her face, began to cry. So did I. That is my fondest memory of you, boy, and I will never forget it.”
“You never told me that story before. How come?”
“You never needed to hear it until now. It’s not the shark in the water that you’re afraid of, son. It’s the sharks on land. Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Go live your life. It is, after all, your life.”
My father has never confessed a fear to me before. He must have been afraid of the corporate world, so this is his escape. He’s right. I’m not afraid of surfing. I just don’t want to deal with the backlash, or not be as good as I used to be. I love to surf. I need to get back in the water.
We leave the motorhome and walk down the beach to the water. This is as close to the water as I’ve been since the attack. It feels like it’s time to do something, I just don’t know what. My heart pounds the closer I get to the water. I look over at my father and his expression doesn’t waver. He keeps the proud smile on his face the whole time.
I creep to the edge of the water, the waves gently licking my toes. The water is cold and refreshing. My heartbeat slows and I close my eyes, just enjoying the sounds, the smells, and the sensations all around me. Something feels very right about this. This is where I’m supposed to be.
A voice rings out from behind us. “Is this a party for just the boys?”
It’s Sam. I’m happy she’s here, and as I turn to see her, she smiles. In her hand is my board. Decision time has arrived.
Chapter 20 – Learning to Fly - Mick
Sam has a wicked smile on her face, and I know what she wants. She wants me to get into the water. As she holds out the board for me to take, fear overtakes me. A kneejerk statement ricochets out of my mouth,
“I am not going back into the water.”
“No one said that you have to go back in the water, Mick,” she replies. “Don’t go if you don’t want to, but at least leave on your own terms. If you never want to surf again, I’m fine with that. All of those years, though. You put in all of those years, only to leave because of what happened. Surf one more time, Mick. Not for your fans or sponsors or me. Not for your father, but for you. Make it your last surf, celebrate your life of surfing, and then put it to bed forever.”
That sense of finality is something I never thought about. I don’t want to be done with surfing. I want to be done with the business of surfing. I hate that part of it, and this is just an excuse for me to get out.
I snatch the board out of Sam’s hand and limp my way out to the water. It feels good to be in the water—in fact, it feels great. As I paddle into my first wave, I realize I no longer have the strength in my back leg to get up. I stumble and fall. Okay, okay. That’s okay. It was my first attempt. I try again to get up on the next wave, and I can’t. I try the next four waves to get myself up, and I can’t do it. Storming out of the water, I toss my board down and walk past Sam and my father. I am embarrassed and angry and want to be left alone.
“Mick, it’s going to take some time. Let me teach you.”
“Ha! You, teach me?! I am the best surfer in the world!” Are you sure Mick? You can’t even stand up on a board.
“You could have fooled me.” Sam yells. I know Sam is just trying to get to me now, and she is. I am so angry, I could spit.
“I am done, Sam! Done!”
I storm away and into my car, I need to get away from that whole scene. My life, my fucking life! I have no idea where I’m going, but I know I am going away from here.
I’m driving around town, going nowhere, continuing to reflect on my first day back in the water. Who does Sam think she is, telling me she is going to teach me how to surf? I don’t think so. Then I realize, a possible solution.
Of course, I may need to change some things to relearn how to surf, like my stance. I do have more strength in my other leg. I am going to have to try that. I am going to have to try and surf the other way, but there is no fucking way that she is going to teach me how to surf.
I drive around town all day, searching for something. I have no idea what it is, but it is something. I drive by my house to see how the work is coming along. After talking with the contractor, I find out it is going to be a huge bill to fix all that needs to be fixed. It needs to be done, I’m just not sure that after not working for a few months, I still have enough money to cover it. I am, after all, going to have to give up my career. I can’t even stand on a board, never mind compete. If this reno is going to exhaust all my money, I’m better off just to sell the place. I better call my accountant.
Sam was right. I’m going to have to figure out what to do next with my life. As night falls, I make my way back to my father’s motorhome. Parking my car, I see him sitting by the fire pit, beer in hand and a bag of chips in the other.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, Mick. You all right? I was going to call, but I figured you just wanted to be left alone.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m okay. Well, as okay as someone can be with everything in his life ending.”
“Hm.”
I glare at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Ah, nothing, just thinking.”
“What are you thinking about? Spit it out!”
My father shakes his head. “Son, I have given you a lot of advice over the years, though I have tried to stay out of your romantic relationships. This woman, though, is different. Sam is special. She nursed you back to health, she stayed with you when you were with someone else—she has tried to help you on your feet in any and every way possible. Your response to her is essentially a fuck-off. That woman is not deserving of that.”
“She doesn’t know me, Dad. She thinks she does because she’s my stepsister, or whatever, but she doesn’t. What the hell am I supposed to do? How can I support myself, or her?”
“A man always finds a way. We cannot always control the things that happen to us, but we can control our reaction to them, and as far as I can see, you have not done well at that.”
“Hm,” I mutter.
My father smiles. “I can say to you only this, for whatever reason, don’t let the good ones walk away.”
I watched as my father dramatically got up and walked away. He was as always right. Sam was a hell of a good woman and I was not treating her the rig
ht way. If she wants to teach me how to surf, why should I not let her? She is a great teacher and I can use the support now more than ever. What I needed was to apologise to her, before it was too late.
“Don’t live your life with regrets, son. It’s not what you do for a living. It’s how you do your living.”
Sometimes, I hated his wisdom, but there is no denying he’s right. I owe a debt to Sam, and I need to repay that. I pick up the phone to text her.
“Sam, meet me tomorrow for breakfast? I want and need to see you.”
The response comes swiftly.
“OK”
I’m about to call it a night and go to bed when I realize that now is the right time to see Sam. I walk to my car and drive over to Sam’s house. All the way there, I think of her bright smile and beautiful eyes. I feel like a heel for the way I treated her, and realize that I never even thanked her for all of the help she had given me throughout this whole ordeal. There’s much I have to be ashamed of, but the worst part is how ungrateful I’ve been.
I pull up to Sam’s house rehearsing what it was I was going to say to her. Sam, I wanted to thank you… No, no. Sam, I think I am in love with you… Ugh. Forget it. I’ll just wing it.
Slinging myself out of the car isn’t as easy as it used to be due to my weak leg. I have been able to stand with a little help from my arms, however. I walk up to the door and ring the bell. Sam answers wearing a robe.
“Mick, what are you doing here?”
“I know it’s late, but I had to come and see you.”
“Well, now is not a really good time.”
“I know, but this won’t take long. I wanted to tell you…”
A man’s voice rang out. “Sam? Who is it? Who’s at the door?” He came up behind Sam, wearing nothing but boxer shorts, and put his hand on her shoulder. “Can we help you?”
Chapter 21 – Family Brawl - Sam
“Can we help you?”
The look on Mick’s face is one of astonishment. I know what he’s thinking, and part of me wants to let him suffer a while before I tell him. Mick has been such an asshole to me lately it’s a tempting thought.
“Who the fuck is this guy?!”
“Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?”
Before I can stop it, the boys erupt into a shoving match. My brother shoves Mick back hard, knocking him to the floor. Mick scampers up on his bum leg just in time to get punched right in the face.
“Mick!” I lunge down to the ground and hold onto him. Mick tries hard to shrug me off.
“He’s my cousin. You guys just haven’t met before. Mick, this is Greg.”
Mick’s face reddens. “Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn’t know who he was. I thought…”
Greg shakes his head. “Nah, it’s my fault, Mick. Come in, please.”
I rush to the kitchen to get Mick some ice for his nose as Greg stands watch, obviously feeling quite badly. Greg has been a little overprotective of me since he heard about my latest run-in with John.
“Greg, why don’t you head off to bed? I’m okay.”
“No problem,” he says, giving Mick an apologetic nod as he shuts the door and pads down the hall.
I turn to my stepbrother. “Mick, what are you doing here? I didn’t expect you to come.”
“I know, Sam, but I had to see you. I had to let you know how I feel. Sam, you are an amazing woman, and there is nothing that I want more then to spend time with you and get to know you. The last few months have been very hard on me, and I have done nothing to consider your feelings. I think I love you, Sam. In fact, I’m sure of it.”
My eyes water. “Oh, Mick…”
I rush in for a kiss, and he is only too happy to meet my lips. His breath falls heavy on my ears as the two of us get caught up in the moment. He clutches and grabbed at every part of me, so feverish it feels like he has more than just two hands. We’re not worried about Greg coming back into the room. This is passion at its most raw.
Flinging off my robe, I watch as Mick flings his shirt off, exposing his masculine frame. He then picks me up and throws me onto the kitchen table with a thump. Mick tugs and pulls at my panties, slowly and methodically. Now positioned between my legs, he drags a chair up like he’s at a buffet and dives headlong into my most private of areas.
Mick twirls his tongue, teasing my clit with the tip. With his left hand, he pushes open my flower, thrusting his tongue deeper inside me. He slowly manipulates my clit with his fingers, alternating between using them and his tongue. Then he sucks on my clit while shoving his fingers inside me. I cover my mouth to prevent myself from moaning too loud, but the sensation is almost too much to bear.
Mick slides his hands up my sides, slowly working his way to my breasts. Every part of me aches for him. Every inch of me tingles under his touch. He grabs my breasts ferociously and starts to squeeze and pull. My body is on fire. I moan while shoving my hips up to his mouth. Then, just like that, he’s gone.
I open my eyes to see where he is. Mick is pulling down his shorts, revealing his magnificent frame. His cock is ready and stands at attention for me. I love the look of his cock. It always stands so hard and so proud. Mick doesn’t have any hair on his cock at all, which makes it look even better.
Mick slides the chair away with his foot right before he enters me, and reaching behind him, I pull him in closer to get every inch. Mick places his arms on either side of my body and starts pumping into me even faster. He leans down and began to kiss me, as I feel the fire burgeoning in my core. I am so close to climax, but I don’t want the feeling to stop. Now I am past the point of no return. As he kisses me, I come hard with his lips on mine.
Mick continues to pump into me as I wrap my arms around him. It feels so good to have him inside me. As I let go, the impulse comes upon me to grab his nipples. His face immediately changes expressions as he starts to shake violently, coming deep inside me. Mick collapses on top of me, breathing heavily. I stroke his back for a minute until he stands up.
“Stay with me tonight, Mick.”
He smiles. “I would like nothing more.”
I lead Mick by the hand to my room, and as we lay down to sleep, I realize that tomorrow I’m having my first ultrasound. Mick and I have not spoken about the prospect of a child between us, and I’m unsure whether he’s happy, sad, or even interested at all. One thing’s for sure: I have to tell him. I have to let him know and at least give him the opportunity to come and see his baby.
I fall asleep with some difficulty that night, thinking very heavily about the conversation I will have to have with Mick in the morning.
***
“Sam. Sam, wake up.”
“What is it, Mick?”
“You said to me a while ago that you were pregnant, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did, Mick.”
I had no idea he had even thought or considered the words that were spoken to him. Knowing it was on his mind made it all the more sweet. Was he actually interested in being a part of this?
“Well, what is happening with that?”
My ultrasound was the next day, but I wasn’t sure I wanted him to come. I needed to understand if he was committed to helping me or if he was just not going to be there at all. Mick has changed a lot in the past few months, but has he changed enough. I resolved to give him as few details as possible, but again my mouth betrayed me,
“I have an ultrasound tomorrow, if you want to come.”
“I think I do. I want to be a part of all of this.”
“Oh! I love you, Mick.”
He says something after that, but I cannot remember what it is. I am half-asleep, and I barely even remember the conversation, but I know I want him to be there—and I’m so happy that he wants to be there, too.
Chapter 22 Rude Awakening - Sam
There’s a banging on the door, which wakes us all up with a start. I groggily get up and shuffle to the door with my brother right behind me. As I open it, I see a stranger on the other side.
> “Where’s Mick?” he asks me.
I blink at him. “Who the hell are you?”
“I’m Jaime, his manager. I have spent a great deal of time and money to find him. Now, where is he?”
“I’m right here, Jaime. What do you want?”
“You and I have a lot to discuss.”
“It will have to wait. I’m retiring.”
“Not according to my contract, you’re not.”
Mick narrows his eyes. “What?”
“You have a contractual obligation to pay me out what you owe me, in terms of managerial fees. There is a clause in our contract that should you retire, you will have to pay me the balance of the endorsements for the remainder of the term. You should have talked to me, Mick. We could have sorted this whole thing out.”
Mick snorts. “Hey, Jaime. Sue me.”
“Don’t you worry, I plan to.”
“Get out, Jaime. We’re done here.”
“You are gonna regret this. If you don’t show up to next month’s competition, I will assume you retired from surfing. I made you into what you are, and you owe me everything!”
Vain: A Stepbrother Romance Page 10