by Audra North
He couldn’t tell her that it was actually because he’d spent way too much time daydreaming about Julie. He’d thought about what would happen if he really did get her undressed and on his bed, like he’d thought about last night. He’d wondered what she would look like wearing only one of his button-down shirts, how her lips would feel, whether she slept on her back or her stomach…and he’d daydreamed about waking up with her and having someone to talk to who would understand his life, just a little.
That one had surprised him the most, not just because he’d thought it, but because it had left him wanting things that he’d never really considered before.
That’s what happens when you let go even a little. Your whole life shuts down.
Naomi rose and looked down at him from the other side of the desk. “I know you, Adam. You work like a dog. But sometimes, it pays to take a step back, let go of any preconceived notions you’ve got about how things should be, and then just be open to opportunity.”
There it was again, that uncomfortable echo of the conversation he’d had last night with Julie. He got the distinct feeling that Naomi wasn’t just talking about the book edits, either. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh. Well. Thanks for the advice. I’ll try to follow it.”
She laughed. “I can’t say that I believe you. I think that relaxing is the only thing you haven’t yet managed to excel at.”
He frowned, but before he could say anything further, she turned, tossing words back over her shoulder as she walked to the door. “Good luck with your edits. And good luck with that tangoing android.”
“Sometimes I don’t know why we’re friends!” he shouted after her, but by then she was already gone.
Chapter Five
Adam was annoyed. He was struggling through every last revision on his book, spending way too much mental energy thinking about Julie Stanton. He kept wavering on whether returning for the second class was a good idea.
Then he checked his email right after office hours and his heart practically stopped in his chest when he saw an email from Julie.
To: Harkness, Adam
From: Julie Stanton
Adam, I got your email address from the school website. Last week, you said you liked to stick to a consistent schedule. Consider this your reminder that our scheduled tango class is tonight. I’ll see you there.
-j
Naomi’s words popped into his mind.
Just be open to opportunity.
Julie’s email wasn’t flirty, exactly. But there was something about it—a sort of teasing vibe—that made him think that there might be an opportunity for something with her. He wasn’t sure what it was, or even if it was merely one-sided, but…
No. Don’t even think about it. Whatever this was between them, it was only temporary. He wasn’t looking for sighs and crushes, and he didn’t take dance lessons for fun, and “opportunity” could be applied only to his career at the moment. Which he needed to get back on track, immediately. Daydreaming about Julie all week was not helping him get things done.
At the end of the day he headed downtown.
One more hour. When you see her again, you’ll realize she’s just a passing infatuation brought on by a spark of nostalgia. After this class, you’ll walk away and be back to working at your usual pace in no time.
But when he stepped inside the room and saw her standing in a cluster of other students and chatting happily, and he could see her eyes twinkling even from this distance, his breath actually caught in his chest. And he couldn’t seem to bring himself to think anything other than that she was the most special person he’d ever met.
Christ. Most special person, really? Are you a girl? He was losing his mind.
As though Julie had read his thoughts, her head jerked up and her eyes met his from across the room. He forced himself not to grin like an idiot at her. It was most likely that she felt nothing for him but the innocent affection one usually has for the general over-thirty population.
Never mind that he was still just thirty—not quite “over” it yet.
“You are so fucked,” he muttered to himself under his breath.
“I beg your pardon?”
He jumped and whipped his head around to stare at the woman who had appeared on his right. “Ivana. I-I apologize. That was not—I didn’t intend for anyone to hear that.”
Ivana laughed and touched him lightly on the shoulder. “Relax. I am only teasing you. You are Adam, right?”
He nodded, still struggling with the feeling that he was a schoolboy who had been caught doing something naughty. He wasn’t used to these casual, playful interactions any more than he was used to feeling so in lust with a woman that he couldn’t even keep his mind on his work.
Ivana smiled and tipped her chin toward Julie. “Your girlfriend is such a beautiful young woman. I’ve never had another student who clearly enjoys life as much as she does. In that sense, she very much reminds me of my husband.”
Before he could protest that Julie wasn’t his girlfriend, Ivana sighed. “He used to look at me the way you look at her. He died two years ago, but I still miss him like it was yesterday.”
For a brief moment, he panicked, uncertain what one said in a situation like this. But that fraction of a second was enough to rattle him to his core. Had he really become so absorbed in work and achievements that he’d forgotten how to express basic feelings? Compassion, worry, joy? He scrambled for the right thing to say, finally seizing on an image that flashed, of his mother’s face at his grandfather’s funeral, and the words sort of tumbled from his mouth. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Ivana didn’t seem to notice his struggle, though. She clucked her tongue at herself. “Oh, shame on me for bringing down the mood. In truth, it was not completely unexpected. He was twenty-five years older than I am, after all, and we made a point of enjoying the time we did have together.”
Twenty-five years? He’d just been thinking he was too old for Julie, even if it was more in personality than actual age. Not that it mattered. He wasn’t going to marry her, much less have a relationship with her. He was here to get his focus back. His career depended on it.
Ivana looked at the wall clock. “Well, I’d better get our class under way. I’m glad you’re back, Adam. You did so well last week.”
He tried not to snort in disbelief, and Ivana began clapping her hands, like she’d done the week before, walking toward the center of the room.
“Good evening, class! Everyone, find your partner and stand in a circle, please.”
He started walking toward Julie at the same time that she headed in his direction, and within seconds they were at each other’s side.
“I wasn’t sure you were going to come this week.” She sounded breathless, even though she’d walked at a sedate pace across the room, and his body responded immediately to the sound. Not exactly doing much for the hope that his attraction to Julie was just a passing thing. He gave her a tight nod, feeling the tension in his muscles rising, but didn’t have time to respond before Ivana started the music and announced the first exercise.
Julie slid into his arms and all he could think about was how good it felt. Better than any daydream.
This was going to be the most difficult hour he’d had all week.
…
Julie kept a smile on her face, but inside she was frowning. Adam had seemed pretty relaxed when he’d first entered the class, but the second she had stepped into his embrace, his shoulders had gone all bunched and tense.
It was hard not to take it personally. They had switched partners a couple of times during the class, and she’d seen him caught up in conversation with Mona, a leggy blond German woman with a dazzling smile, and later, nodding and grinning at something that a beautiful older woman named Nyala had said.
Clearly, Julie wasn’t going to be the one to seize his interest. She’d hoped her attempt at a playful email earlier today would make him smile and look forward to class tonight, but he didn’t even se
em to enjoy dancing with her.
So much for wearing the nice lingerie.
On the other hand, maybe it was just the dancing he didn’t like. He had been pretty tense last week, too. Maybe he just needed some encouragement.
“You really are quite good at this, you know,” she offered.
He grunted and practiced sideways walking, moving her a bit out of the circle, away from the other couples.
She sighed. “And yet, why do I get the feeling that you’re not enjoying any of it?”
Great. Now his arms were so tight, they felt like they would simply snap off if he so much as raised his hand in the air. He slid one step backward and she followed. He had walked them into the corner of the room now, letting the other couples stumble past them in the main circle. She could feel him shrugging.
“I shouldn’t be here. I have a book to finish. ”
Then why had he stuck around? God. She hoped not for her. She’d wanted him to come to class tonight, yes, but not like this. But she forced her voice to stay pleasant. “No one is forcing you to be here.” She paused and considered that for a second. “You’re not being blackmailed, are you?”
For the first time that evening, he smiled.
And somehow, it felt like the greatest achievement of her life. She moved her left hand slightly up, until her fingers curled gently over the thick cords of muscle where his neck met his shoulder, and rubbed at the tension there. “How about you tell me something that’s not about your book.”
He grunted as she massaged a little more firmly. “Like what?”
“Like…” She thought for a second. “What’s the most ridiculous article of clothing you own?”
He rolled his eyes as if to say that her question wasn’t worth answering, but his smile got bigger. “How do you do it?”
“Do what? No—wait.” She stopped him just as he was about to answer. “I asked you first.”
He raised an eyebrow, but he wasn’t facing her—he was watching the dance floor—and she giggled at the way the expression looked from the side. Finally. She was having fun. With Adam.
She let out a small sigh of pleasure, letting her body relax until her breasts grazed his chest.
“A top hat.”
Was it just her, or had his voice deepened? She was so turned on by the way the words had rumbled out of him that it took her a second to register what he’d said.
“You own a top hat? That is pretty ridiculous. Why?”
This time, though, he shook his head. “Nope, I’m not answering that. It’s my turn, remember?”
He led her through another move, concentrating on that before he asked, “How do you make me forget about all the things hanging over my head?”
She’d made him forget? She’d made Adam Harkness, workaholic extraordinaire, take his mind off his work? The feeling of satisfaction was so intense that she couldn’t stop a blush from rising in her cheeks.
“I’m sure that happens every time you’re out having fun.”
He shook his head, studying the room as he figured out his next move. “No. I mean, I don’t know. This is the first time in my adult life that I’ve done something simply for the sheer pleasure of it.”
She gaped at him. Was he being serious? He couldn’t be. Could he? But as she contemplated it, he chose that moment to push forward in a strong, unexpected motion, accidentally tripping her backward. To compensate, he pulled up hard, yanking her to him. Her breasts landed against his chest, his right arm drawn tight around her back, both of them breathing fast.
Oh. Goodness. His chest was firm and muscled. His arms were strong, bracketing her. She shuddered. Pressed against him like this, she felt just wild enough to bring her lips to his ear and whisper the question that had popped into her mind as soon as he’d said the words “sheer pleasure.”
“You’ve never done anything solely for pleasure? Then what about sex?”
Chapter Six
Julie felt Adam’s breath hitch in his chest, felt something hard and insistent rise against her thigh. He turned his head to look at her, his ocean-blue eyes deepened to a rich sapphire.
Oh my God. Oh my God he’s going to kiss—
But the loud clap of hands interrupted her thought, and abruptly he let her go, then backed away blinking. Ivana’s voice grew louder as the rush of blood left Julie’s head, and her heartbeat slowly calmed.
“Lovely dancing, everyone! Come back into the circle now. I have one last thing to show you before we go. It’s time for the next step.”
Julie couldn’t help but think that truer words had never been spoken.
They watched as Ivana demonstrated a move and asked them to practice it at home just before class ended. Julie hesitated for just a second. His body had responded. Could she maybe see if she could change his mind, even a little?
She hadn’t wanted something this badly for so long…
Just go for it!
“Do you want to get a drink?” She blurted the words before she could overthink it. There. Done. Extending the invitation had been almost painful, but she was not about to turn tail and run from a little discomfort. She’d been there, done that, and she was through with it.
He stared at her for a second, then said slowly, “I should really get home.”
She tried not to sigh with disappointment. “No problem. It was good to see you tonight, anyway.”
She didn’t want to ask him whether he’d be here next week. More than likely, his answer wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear. She might not mind a little discomfort, but there was such a thing as being just plain stupid.
But before she could tell him good-bye, Adam shrugged. “Actually, yeah. I’d like to come with you.”
…
Adam grinned when Julie blushed at his words. I’d like to come with you. He hadn’t thought about the double meaning until after he’d said it. Apparently, though, she had gotten it immediately. After a moment, the pink flush on her cheeks faded, her lips curved up in a sly smile, and she fixed him with a mock-stern look. “Thanks, Adam. But no pulling out early, okay?”
And then she winked at him.
Fuck. He grunted as though she’d punched him in the gut. Except that this hit had left him clasping his hands in front of his crotch to hide the growing bulge in his pants. Seeing her tonight had not helped him get over her at all. What he now realized had been a little infatuation had turned into full-on, gnawing want. How was he going to finish his book now? Not to mention that he had a lecture to give tomorrow morning, and having a wild sex dream about Julie was probably not going to help him feel rested.
He shouldn’t have accepted the invitation. He should have gone home and simply dealt with this infatuation by ignoring it. Time would have erased memories of Julie, and he’d go back to focusing on his work.
Except…time hadn’t rid him of that memory of her from three years before, looking lush and eager and like everything he’d wanted.
He must have been lost in his thoughts for too long, because she gave a low laugh and grabbed his hand.
He barely resisted the urge to stroke her arm.
“Come on. There’s a bar just across the street.”
They walked out into the night. The temperature had dropped since the beginning of class, and she gave a little shiver. April had a way of teasing Manhattan with the promise of spring, but it was often too cold in the early weeks, despite the sun.
“Here.” He shrugged out of his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. She shivered again when his hands slid over her shoulders.
“Thanks.” She didn’t take his hand again.
They crossed the street and walked halfway down the block before stopping in front of a small sports bar. She gave a small laugh. “I feel like an idiot for taking your jacket to walk less than a block.”
“Don’t apologize on my account. I grew up in North Dakota. This is like summer for me.” He pulled open the door and gestured for her to enter the bar.
“North Dak
ota? I’m surprised.” The fabric of the too-big jacket brushed his shirt as she passed him, and he was glad his hands were too busy holding the door. He wanted to grab her, slip his fingers inside the jacket and feel his palms around her waist. Not like in class. Not the forced, choreographed moves with what felt like endless distance between them. He wanted her naked and close.
But he didn’t do any of that, just waited for her to enter, then followed her inside. The place was only half full tonight, and for a second he faltered, the relative emptiness making him feel strangely exposed.
“Is this place okay?” Julie cocked her head and looked at him like she knew how awkward he felt. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d gone out for a casual drink, and this didn’t even feel that casual. Not after the way she’d been constantly in his thoughts this past week.
“Yeah. It’s good.” He shrugged, trying for nonchalant, but just ended up doing a stiff, jerky movement.
Instead of laughing at him and teasing him like he expected her to, she slid one arm around his waist and pressed her side close against his, like they were a real couple who decided to stop for a drink on the way home together.
That same image of Julie, in his bed, that he’d been carrying around for the past few days, popped into his mind. His nerves eased a bit, and he turned his head to look down at her.
She grinned that full, vivacious smile that he realized he’d always associated with something uniquely her. “Great. Then let’s just…walk, shall we?”
He laughed at the reference to their dance class, and the last coils of tension faded away. They found two barstools and sat down. The bartender approached and took their order, and then they were alone again.
She leaned on the bar and twisted to face him, looking relaxed and natural, but he didn’t follow her lead—he’d probably end up looking like he’d pulled a muscle or something. Instead, he stayed upright on his stool, hands clasped on the bar in front of him.
“So. Why are you surprised that I’m from North Dakota?”