Ethan settles Ryan into his booster seat between himself and Mia. I'm glad the two of them are getting their kid-fix with Ryan and Ava; they're much too young to start a family. They haven't even hinted of marriage, for heaven's sake. I shake off the thought. Ethan is a decidedly worthy young man, but he's dating my sister. It's not a control-freak thing at all. Any older brother would have reservations about his baby sister's relationships.
"It's good to see you, Mrs. King," Gail sets a plate before her. Everyone else is busily serving themselves.
"Umm... thank you," Krissy says, looking to me.
"Gail," I mouth to her.
"Thank you, Gail."
"You're quite welcome." Gail smiles warmly and then disappears into the kitchen.
Krissy lifts her fork timidly. I watch her a while, making sure she's steady, before paying any mind to my plate. Oh, it's so good to see her eat. I'm soon aware that I'm not the only one watching Krissy intently. Ryan's eyes are locked on her as well.
~oOo~
"Thank you," Krissy murmurs as I settle her into bed again.
"For what?" I wonder. I haven't done anything above or beyond. On the other hand, my family really stepped up tonight, not surprisingly, but it was comforting to share a meal with them, awkward as it was. Mom even showed up near the end to drop off Krissy's pain meds, and I fixed her a plate to take home. The house really felt rather empty when they left, even though Krissy is here now. But really, she isn't. So why is she thanking me?
She snorts, closing her eyes. "For humoring me."
I gasp. Ouch. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"
She shrugs, then winces. "I don't know."
"Why the hostility, baby?"
She stares blankly at me for a moment, and then, to my horror, her face crinkles, and she chokes on a sob. "Oh, baby, no." I draw her into my arms, gathering her into my lap, and hold her to my chest. She shudders as she sobs. What's brought this on? Was it something I did?
"Shh... Krissy, it's all right. I'm sorry, so sorry, baby. Tell me what I can do. I'll do anything." And I would, I'd do anything for her, if only she'd ask. In this moment, I'd drown myself to see her smile. Morbid, yes, but I'd do it. My heart bursts with pain.
"Please, baby. I need you to tell me."
"Make... me... remember..."
"Oh, Krissy." The lump in my throat dissolves, and against my sheer force of will, I'm crying with her. "I'm trying, baby. I'm trying so hard."
The concept of crying is still largely unfamiliar to me. I can count the number of times I've cried during my life on my two hands, and they've all occurred within the past three years. Half of those happened within the last month. The loss of ability to control oneself is distressing enough, but to share it with someone who is equally or exceedingly upset is unbearable. I need to get it together, for her.
Her sobs slow after a time. I don't know how much time. Her breathing slows, hitches, and slows again. The sniffling ends. I focus on her breathing, and it helps to bring mine under control as well. "Krissy?"
When she doesn't respond, I carefully pull away a bit, bring my fingers to her chin and tilt her head back. She's cried herself to sleep. I sigh, not from relief, but some emotion I can't readily identify. I wedge my fingers into my back pocket and yank out a handkerchief, wiping the tears and other fluids from her face. Settling her back against the pillows, I pull the duvet over her and lie beside her a while. Again, time passes. I'm not sure how much.
"I love you, Kristina," I whisper to her. "Please, please believe that, if nothing else. I'm here. I'll always be here." My lips press gently against her cheek, lingering a moment, before leaving her to the evening darkness, and hopefully, a peaceful night's sleep.
~oOo~
"Mr. King."
Krissy was just here, in my arms, and then she wasn't. She was running from me. Why? She's never run from me before, except in play. And she was terrified.
"No, Krissy..."
"Mr. King, wake up."
My eyes shoot open. There's light filtering in through the roman shades, they're blue... of course, I'm in the guest room.
"Mr. King," the voice again pulls me.
"Gail," I mumble. "Have I overslept?"
"Sir, I can't find Ryan."
Shit. I'm on my feet in an instant. "Where's Carter?"
"She's not here yet, it's still early," Gail quickly tells me, chasing me down the hall. "I went to check him before I started breakfast and he wasn't in his bed. I've looked just about everywhere; Jason is checking the video logs."
Panic sets in. If he's hiding somewhere, or worse... if one of the nurses left a door open... oh, my little explorer... wait, the nurses? "Did you check the master suite?"
"Not yet, but the doors were closed. Ryan still can't quite manipulate the door handles."
I'm at the double doors in an instant, throwing them open.
The morning nurse is already there, in one of the armchairs of the sitting room, reading. She holds a finger to her lips. My eyes fly past her into the bedroom, and my heart tumbles into a normal rhythm.
Ryan is fast asleep, curled in a ball against Krissy's left side. Her arm is draped around his tiny body, and her head is turned toward him.
Light footsteps approach from behind. "Oh good, you beat me to it," Taylor says softly.
I exchange a 'let them sleep' glance with the nurse, and she nods. We back carefully out of the room, and I pull the doors closed with the softest click.
"The nurse let him in around midnight," Taylor tells me over coffee. "He paced at the door for a while, couldn't quite reach the handles. I remember Sophie doing that when she was little, getting out of bed and curling up with me. They grow out of it eventually, sir."
I nod. "How is Miss Sophie?"
Taylor chuckles. "She's fine, thank you. Excited to start school."
"Will she be returning soon?"
"I uh... thought it best to let her stay with her mother a while, at least until Mrs. King is better," he says, thoughtfully.
"That's very considerate Taylor, but unnecessary," I tell him. "Sophie is always welcome here. And it may do Krissy some good to see familiar faces."
And I completely believe this. In fact, I've decided to change my tactics altogether. Krissy has handled everything thus far so well, I don't think anything has jarred her enough to wake her memory. And so, perhaps total immersion is a better plan.
"Thank you, Sir. I'll see she comes over one day soon."
"Good." I drain my cup and set it on the counter. "I'll be ready to leave in fifteen minutes."
~oOo~
"No, Ros. It's just not good timing. Tell them I'll consider a visit once they've signed the preliminary agreement. I'm not leaving my situation at home for a maybe. You can get us there." My phone beeps at me. Shit, low battery.
"I wish you'd reconsider. I know it's not the greatest time, but they don't take me seriously. It's part of their culture. You'd have them eating out of your hand in just a few days. Please think about it?"
She's twisting my arm. And she does have a point. I'd have the full deal signed and done in a matter of days, with a cherry on top. "I have to go. You'll have my answer within two hours." I click the phone off. Now my wheels are spinning. I need a new plan.
"Taylor, turn here. We're making a stop."
"Yes, Sir."
~oOo~
"Anyone home?" I call. The main floor is deserted, as are the bedrooms, and Gail is nowhere to be found?
"Down here!" comes my mother's muffled voice from the lower staircase. I hear the volume on some recording go down. I descend the steps, curious as to what they could possibly be watching in our home theater. It's so rarely ever used.
So this is where everyone has been hiding. Gail is on the floor in front of the giant screen, entertaining Ava and Ryan. Kate and Krissy are cuddled in the center loveseat, my mother on Krissy's other side and Mia in the giant, red beanbag chair that Krissy insisted we have down here. The afternoon nurse is
reading in one of the loungers off to one side, and Carter lurks in the far corner... it's the only word I have to describe the standard posture of my son's caretaker and security detail. I sigh. I've descended into the estrogen ocean.
"Edward, join us," my mother waves me over. And it occurs to me that they're watching our wedding video. Kate scoots discreetly from her seat and plops down on the floor, taking Ava into her lap. Ava squeals. My feet move mechanically. I've yet to discern whether Krissy asked for this attention, or if she had no recourse. The females in my family are rather liberal in the moral support department.
"Hi," I kneel down by her feet, offering the peonies I bought on the way home. Her eyes flicker from the screen, to me, to the flowers, then back to me. I must have startled her.
"Hi," she answers. Her expression is mild, but unreadable.
"For you." I set the bouquet in her lap. She considers them for a moment.
"I'd better go start dinner," Gail excuses herself.
"Yes, I need to be going as well, Elliot will be expecting us home soon," Kate scoops Ava up. "I'll call you tomorrow, Krissy."
"I didn't realize it was so late," my mother worries, artificially. "Come, Mia. I'll drop you on the way."
I've just cleared a room. It never gets old, I muse. I have to admit, I'm grateful for their discretion. Krissy is still considering her flowers.
"Do you like them?"
She gives a small nod, and a shy smile.
"Are you not talking to me?"
She opens her mouth, seemingly surprised by the casual observation. "Just a little... overwhelmed again."
"I can see why you might be." I rise enough to slide onto the loveseat beside her, pulling her legs to recline across my lap. We watch the quieted video for a few minutes. The videographer really was brilliant, cutting to different times throughout the event, and inserting effects here and there to make some angles look as though they came from an old film reel. It's tasteful, intimate, and unique. But I'm sure Krissy's paying no attention to the special effects. The scene cuts away from toasts and back to our first dance. My arms are around her, pulling her so close to me, and her hands tease through my hair. Our noses touch. We smile, whisper all manner of sweet everythings, and then we kiss. Tastefully, intimately. I revel in the memory.
Krissy sighs, softly.
I finger the knot in my tie, loosening it. "We don't have to watch this, if you don't want to."
"It's okay. I asked your mom if she had more pictures of us, and this is what she brought." She pauses, still fixated on the screen. "Can I ask you something a little strange?"
"Of course. You can ask anything you like." My eyes are locked onto her, but she's still gazing straight ahead. I wait.
"Promise not to laugh?"
"I promise."
She swallows. "Is it... do you think it's okay that... that I'm attracted to you?"
Whoa. "I think... that it's very okay," I tell her. My heart soars. Why is she asking me this?
"You don't think it's weird? I mean, the way I see it, I just met you. And you're so sweet, and caring, and supportive, and I feel so strange and disconnected... and, yet, good... when you touch me or hold me. And then I see something like this..." her eyes still haven't left the screen. Now we're sharing a mutual toast, entwining our arms as we take a sip of champagne. "It looks so natural for us to be that way. Am I making any sense?"
"A little." I run my hand smoothly from her knee to her ankle. "Something about us... it's starting to feel right, isn't it?"
She nods.
"Baby, look at me."
She turns her head, taking me in for a moment. Then her eyes gloss over. Her pupils dilate, and her mouth drops open, her lips forming a tiny, perfect 'O'. Her breathing increases for a moment, and then her eyes close and she slumps back against the cushions.
"Krissy!" Oh God, Krissy, no...
"Baby, baby please… oh God please don't do this!" I pull her limp form against my chest; feel her breath against my neck. Oh thank heaven, she's breathing. She stirs, a weak moan escaping her lips.
"Krissy? What is it?" She doesn't answer. I bring my hand to rest on her cheek. "What's wrong, baby?"
She swallows. "Tie."
"What?" I look down, my loosened tie... oh, it's the tie. The silver tie.
That tie.
My heart is in my throat. "Krissy? Did you remember something?"
She nods, still dazed.
Oh, God. "What did you see?"
"Wedding."
Oh. "Yes, I wore this tie in our wedding. You asked me to."
She shakes her head. "It was on the floor. By a bed. A big driftwood bed with blue sheets."
What... the time I watched her sleep? At Escala, is that what she means? She remembers that? My heart is in a tailspin. "Do you remember anything else?"
She nods, slowly, unsure.
"What, baby?"
Her face crinkles, and her eyes fill with uncertainty, even fear. "My hands... it tied my hands..."
Oh. Fuck.
CHAPTER 10
~ EDWARD ~
Damn it all. What do I say to that?
"It's not what you think." I start to take her hand but she freezes, and I think better of it. 'She's remembering!' my brain screams at me. I swallow. "Please, let me explain."
She waits. Her uncertainty is a rusty crowbar, prying into my soul, making it bleed out. "Why would you ever have reason to tie me?" she whispers.
"It's really quite harmless," I implore her, shaking my head to show her I'm out of any ideas to placate her, that this is the truth. "I told you I had a rough start in life... I was uncomfortable with certain kinds of touch. I avoided physical contact with everyone."
She still looks afraid. God, don't let my horrendous past and strange, selfish lifestyle choices turn her from me. I beg you.
"While you and I were getting to know each other, I wanted you to touch me, but I couldn't bring myself to let you. When we were... intimate, early on... you consented to having your hands bound so that you wouldn't touch me accidentally. It was mutual, Krissy. If you had said no, even hinted at it, I wouldn't have. Please believe me."
She's silent for a long moment, and then shudders a sigh. "You might have warned me."
I shake my head, closing my eyes. "I was afraid of your reaction. And frankly, it's not something that would have gone over well at any point. I wish you knew everything. I wish I could inject it all into you in one fell swoop, but that isn't possible and you're going to have to trust me." My voice has gone up a few notes, and I realize I'm getting upset. What does she expect me to do? Tell her everything; show her the contents of the locked trunk in the closet? She'll run for the hills. I know I feared that last time and she stayed, but this is so much different. And now I'm between a rock and a hard place... she's right in wanting to know, but she can't possibly expect me to tell her everything exactly when she thinks she wants to know. And the tie? Why the fuck did that trigger her, of all things? Why not something else, anything else? The fates have it out for me.
I suddenly have an idea. Moving slowly, as not to startle her, I loosen the remainder of the knot and slip the tie off. I fold it in half and hold it out for her. "Here."
Whether she moves automatically at being handed something or if she really is curious, I have no way of knowing. She tentatively fingers the textured silk, and I lay it to rest in her palm. She considers it for a moment, and then brings it to her nose, inhaling, her eyes closing.
"Krissy? Is there anything else?"
She opens her eyes, swallowing again. "Did that happen... before?"
"Before?"
Her eyes flicker to the forgotten video, now playing through a second loop.
"Before we were married? Yes. Quite a while before."
"Oh." She seems instantly placated. I believe I've inadvertently found a get-out-of-the-doghouse card. "But you don't mind now?"
I search her expression for permission, pick up her good hand, and bring it to my c
hest, placing her palm over my heart. My pulse picks up; a bare hint of anxiety is all that remains of the longstanding phobia. "You cured me of it. You." I raise my eyebrows to drive the message home.
She curls her fingers slightly, and I can't tell if it's because she wants to hold onto me, or if she's trying to pull away. I release her hand, and she relaxes, laying her palm flat again. Now it's my turn to swallow, uncertainty flooding my brain again. "Are we okay?"
She nods. "Guess so."
"Hmm." I wonder if it's the right time to bring up the trip. Better to get it out in the open, I suppose. "Do you think you'll be all right on your own for a few days?"
"What?" Her hand falls to her lap, her fingers brutally crushing the tie.
"I have some business to attend to in Mumbai. It can't wait, and I can't send anyone else. Do you mind?"
"Um... no. Of course not." She minds. I can tell. I know her well enough to see that this clearly bothers her. She wants me, despite this newest revelation. She wants me near her, like she did in the beginning, and as before, she's letting her thoughts dictate her feelings, rather than the other way around. I'll have to talk to her about this at some point.
"I don't really want to leave you, baby. If you'd rather I stay..."
"It's all right. You do what you need to. I'll be fine." Of course she will be. But my 'out' was in her asking me to stay. Ros, it looks like you're off the hook.
"Okay." I lean forward, before she has a chance to recoil, and press a kiss to her forehead. "So... you're attracted to me?" I distract her. The corners of my mouth turn up, coyly.
She flushes bright pink. Such a lovely color. "It's just a pretty face, baby."
~oOo~
"King residence."
"Gail," I begin. "How are things at home?"
"Just fine, sir, it's good to hear from you. You've just missed Krissy, she's gone to bed already."
"Oh. That's all right." I will the disappointment from my voice. I hate the time zone difference. "How is Ryan?"
"Rambunctious as ever. Carter has her hands full." There's something else.
"Out with it, Gail. What aren't you telling me?"
I hear a sigh. "Krissy took a few steps today."
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