“Then you need to get yourself some glasses,” Bianca countered. “If I wanted to be with someone else, I’d be with someone else. I wouldn’t have to sneak around behind your back.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t, huh?” Charlie yelled; he was nearly frothing at the mouth.
Billy wasn’t ten feet from them when Bianca screamed, “That’s right, I wouldn’t!” She stormed off, crying.
Charlie never took a step to chase after her.
As Billy approached, his best friend was shaking his head wildly, his face beet red and his eyes filled with rage.
“Whoa, Charlie, take a breath,” Billy said.
Charlie looked up at him, the murderous rage still glistening in his baby blues.
Billy was hardly deterred. “What the hell was that all about?” he asked.
Charlie took that breath, and then another. “Nothing,” he finally snapped back. “You know what, Billy, maybe it is a good thing we’re all moving on from high school. A new start might be best for everyone…”
“Don’t talk stupid, Charlie. You’re pissed. I get it. But now you’re talking out of your ass.”
“Talking out of my ass?” Charlie said, his volume rising with each word.
“That’s right,” Billy said, “and you need to keep it down. You’re going to end up giving my Aunt Phoebe a stroke.”
Charlie opened his mouth to respond. Instead, Billy’s last comment shut him up. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
Billy tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t. “I’m playing with you. Aunt Phoebe has so many chemicals in her that she’s going to outlive us both.” He put his hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “But kidding aside, I think you’re dead wrong about Bianca.”
“I don’t think so, Billy. I get the worst feeling in my gut…”
“In your gut?” Billy interrupted, adding a snicker. “Without evidence, it’s nothing but paranoia, brother.”
Charlie shook his head. “I know what I know.”
Billy opened his mouth to counter again but decided against it. You guys have all summer to figure it out, he thought and let it go at that.
It was approaching dusk when Charlie approached Billy, now wearing his mischievous grin. Billy looked past him to discover that a few more graduates had arrived. This time, one of them brought along a girl Billy had never seen before—a girl who stole his breath away.
She had curly blonde hair and caramel eyes. As if being pulled by a magnet, Billy strode—zombie-like—toward her. A closer look revealed a perfect row of teeth pointing to two adorable dimples and pursed lips. From the conversation, he’d gathered that her name was Vicki. For a few magical moments, he watched her from a distance. She was giggling at something someone had said when she began flipping her hair around, flirtatiously. Billy could feel his bottom jaw droop, as he slid deeper into the glorious trance.
As he continued to watch Vicki from a distance, his heart thumped hard in his chest. Oh, my God, he repeated in his head. He’d never experienced anything like it. He’d had crushes on girls before, but none of them ever made him feel like the world had suddenly run out of air.
As hope filled his heart, his mind sabotaged the moment. In the past, Billy had played the masochist, facing the demoralizing rejection of any pimply-faced high school freshman. But that was a long time ago, he told himself. Things are different now. I’m different.
He suddenly realized Charlie was still standing beside him—and smiling. Charlie studied the girl. “Take it easy, buddy,” he told Billy. “She’s not that nice.” Charlie assessed her some more and shrugged. “I’ve seen better legs hanging out of a nest.”
“You must be blind,” Billy said and then told himself, Go talk to her. She’s here…at your party. Go ahead. It’s not like she won’t talk to you. It’s your party. Go… But he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t find the nerve to approach her and introduce himself.
Charlie chuckled—in some I knew you wouldn’t approach her tone—and sauntered away.
Billy was still locked in a hypnotic state when he saw Vicki greet one of the guys at the party with a hug. Oh no, he thought and his stomach flopped, nearly kicking up the greasy drippings of his lunch. For that one horrid moment, every drop of blood drained from his heart, while gravity carried it to his feet. He couldn’t recall ever feeling more disappointed. Life can be so unfair, he thought—the way it built up a man’s hopes only to pull the carpet out from under his quivering legs. Well, that’s that, he told himself, trying to shake the cobwebs from his head and emerge from his short-lived fantasy.
An hour later, Vicki left the party without as much as a word or glance Billy’s way; without knowing he even existed. Just my luck, he thought and did his best not to sulk. Man, is she beautiful.
It was already dark when Billy’s dad prepared the fire pit in the backyard. Many of the day’s competing conversations came to a halt and, for a time, there was silence—followed by crickets and the wind flirting with the trees. Everyone grabbed a chair and set them in a circle around the pit. While the fire jumped to life—orange and red flames dancing wildly in the darkness—everyone settled comfortably into their respective places around the large circle. Billy took in a deep breath and thought, I wish Vicki were sitting beside me right now. It seemed odd to want to share something so badly with someone he’d never even spoken to. But it wasn’t his mind that desired it; it was his heart. Again, he tried to shake it off and stay in the present. He looked around the circle and smiled gratefully. It had been a glorious day.
The Life’s Journey Series
Don DiMarco has a very good life – a family he loves, a comfortable lifestyle, passions and interests that keep him amused. He also thought he had time, but that turned out not to be the case. Faced with news that might have immediately felled most, Don now wonders if he has time enough. Time enough to show his wife the romance he didn’t always lavish on her. Time enough to live out his most ambitious fantasies. Time enough to close the circle on some of his most aching unresolved relationships. Summoning an inner strength he barely realized he possessed, Don sets off to prove that twelve months is time enough to live a life in full.
A glorious celebration of each and every moment that we’re given here on Earth, as well as the eternal bonds that we all share, Twelve Months is a stirring testament to the power of the human spirit.
Here is an excerpt:
The state’s premier pediatric facility was designed in collaboration with doctors, nurses and other health care professionals, as well as parents and children. Earning worldwide recognition for its family-centered environment and expert staff, it also had the area’s only pediatric oncology program. They provided diagnosis and treatment to kids, ranging in age from newborn to eighteen years old.
Comprehensive treatment was provided for infants, children and adolescents with cancer and blood disorders. Special expertise and programs existed for children with leukemia, brain tumors, lymphoma, hemophilia and sickle cell disease.
Volunteers had to submit an application with references, provide an updated immunization record, agree to a tuberculosis test, complete an orientation to hospital policies and procedures, and commit to a minimum of four hours each week for at least four months. I wasn’t sure about the last requirement, but decided, if I don’t meet it, I’m not real worried about being sued.
It was a cold morning when I arrived for my orientation. Though I expected to be joined by others, it was just me and Carissa Kennedy, my bubbly guide. “On behalf of volunteer services, welcome,” she said, with a brilliant smile. “We appreciate the time you’re taking from your personal life. I hope you gain as much from the experience as the patients do.”
“I have no doubt.”
“Our volunteers are a talented group of people who make a huge difference in the kids’ lives and there are lots of opportunities to make that difference. You co
uld greet visitors and patients, be a liaison for patients and families, or even assist in the emergency room. Some volunteers like to deliver flowers and mail.”
“I was hoping to do something more directly with the kids.”
“We have many volunteers who visit with patients or hold the hand of a chronically ill child. Some read to the kids and others assist those with disabilities.”
“I’ll take it,” I said.
Carissa looked at me. “Which one?” she asked.
“All of the above.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was a child-friendly atmosphere, including a life-sized playhouse. We were at the end of a corridor when I spotted a plaque on the wall. It read “Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
“I like that.”
“Me, too,” she said, “but my favorite quote is, ‘We cannot always return an act of kindness to the person who bestowed it, but we can pay back the debt by helping others.’”
“Nice.”
As we marched up one corridor and down the next, Carissa filled me in on my rights as a volunteer. “Just so you know, you have certain rights when you’re giving your time here.” She began counting on her fingers. “The hospital promises you a clear volunteer assignment, fulfilling work, training, informed involvement, supervision, respect, your time put to best use, safe and healthy working conditions and recognition of your service.”
“Wow, good for you. That’s a lot to remember,” I teased.
She giggled.
“Recognition?” I asked. “Are people really concerned with that when they volunteer?”
She shrugged. “Nobody that I’ve met yet.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Upon completing my week of training and orientation, I started spending time with the kids. At first, I read to two of the older ones – sixteen and seventeen, respectively – who were near their end. Both were sedated and submerged in hospital-induced comas. After each page I finished, I looked up for a reaction. There was none. Through my own ungodly suffering, I kept right on reading, hoping that on some level my presence brought them some comfort.
I went whenever I could physically make it, which wasn’t nearly as often as I would have liked. For the first time since being diagnosed with this evil and greedy disease, my will was no longer as strong as the bad cells that multiplied inside me.
It’s difficult to explain the symptoms. I’d suffered from the flu a few times in my life; times when body aches, cold sweats, fever and chills made me want to lay down right where I was and curl up into the fetal position. With cancer, this would have been a good day. Cell by dying cell, my body was shutting down.
Two weeks had passed before I was introduced to some of the younger children by the nursing staff I’d grown to care for. These honest, little people asked me some of the strangest questions. “Why is your nose so big?” one small lad inquired.
“It was a gift from my father.”
“Do you like candy canes better than candy corn?”
“I’ve never met a candy I couldn’t get along with.”
“Why are you really here?”
Even though I knew the answer, this was a tough one. “To make you smile,” I said, but the truth was a bit more selfish than that. Deep down, I knew I was there to face my paralyzing fear of death and to make peace with it. It seemed reasonable enough. These children had just come from heaven and were already returning home. Who could be closer to God than that?
Each time I stepped into the hospital, I nourished my soul, all the while wondering why I hadn’t been walking through that same door for years. And each day was different.
I met a ten-year-old girl suffering from an inoperable brain tumor who wore a rainbow-colored clown’s wig given to her by one of the Shriner’s. “If people are going to stare, then let’s give them something to look at,” she told me.
I’d never felt so much pride in the strength of another person’s spirit.
The very next day, I passed a small boy who was crying. “Please, Mommy,” he begged, “don’t let me die.”
I felt my knees start to give and caught myself.
Nurse Pynaker came out of the room and looked at me. “He’s not ready,” she whispered.
“I guess not. I’m fifty-seven and I’m not even ready.”
“Age doesn’t matter,” she said, “The soul knows when it’s time.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was a random Thursday morning when I stepped into a little girl’s radiant smile. She was sitting at the end of the day room, playing with a doll. When she saw me, her big blue eyes lit up. I could feel my heart melt. The shading on her scalp told me she’d once had dark hair. The paleness of her skin told me her life was fading too. I approached and extended my hand. “I’m Don,” I said. “And what’s your name, beautiful?”
“Sophia,” she said and put down her doll to shake my hand. We sat for a few moments when she turned to me. “I have cancer,” she said.
“Me, too.”
“Mine is called Lymphoma.”
I nodded.
“Are you scared?” she asked.
I hesitated, unsure of how I should answer; whether or not I should be honest. But she saved me by putting her hand in mine.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” she promised. Her eyes were penetrating and wise beyond their years. “We’re not alone, ever…none of us.” She had a sense of her own power and shared it selflessly.
I had no choice but to believe and fall in love with my new friend, Sophia.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As knowledge is power, I conducted my usual research and discovered that Sophia was fighting a vicious monster. Lymphoma – sometimes referred to as blood cancer – was either categorized as Hodgkins or non-Hodgkins. In Sophia’s case, the cancer cells were most prominent in her marrow before spilling over into her blood where it quickly spread to the lymph nodes. Though non-Hodgkins Lymphoma was the sixth most common cancer in the United States, at Sophia’s age, she’d had a one in one hundred thousand chance of getting it. And she’d hit the lottery. What luck.
After a few visits, Sophia confided in me. “The only thing that bothers me is that I’ve lost my hair,” she said, the sorrow in her voice apparent. “It used to be curly, you know.”
I nodded, feeling a pang of guilt. I’d never received chemo or radiation treatments, so my brown locks were still intact. I made my decision right then and there. I haven’t been bald since serving in Vietnam, so it might even feel good, I figured.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Just as I finished the job and unplugged the clippers, Bella and Riley stepped into the bathroom. Riley shook her head. “You really are a beautiful man, Dad,” she said, her eyes misting over.
I shook my head. “I’m not sure about that, but I do have a beautiful daughter.”
Bella stepped up, rubbed my head a few times and then kissed it.
“And a beautiful wife,” I added.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The following day, Sophia watched me walk into the day room, but didn’t say a word. I approached her and smiled. “You didn’t know it was me?” I asked.
She nodded. “I’d recognize you anywhere,” she squealed, her eyes sparkling. “But what did you do?”
I winked. “It’s only hair, right? Who needs it?”
She jumped into my arms for a hug.
“Looks like we’ll both save money on shampoo,” I told her, trying not to cry.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
While still at the mercy of my own death sentence, for some of the finest d
ays of my life, I visited with Sophia whenever I could. Most of the time, we didn’t talk. We just held hands. Though I hoped I was helping her, I knew better. The healing power of her touch was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
I contacted my lady friend at the Make a Wish Foundation and told her Sophia’s story. I had no idea I’d called too late.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was a Wednesday evening, just past dusk, and though I didn’t realize it, Sophia and I were about to speak for the very last time.
“If you had one wish that could come true, what would it be?” she asked.
The hair on my arms stood erect. I’d just contacted Make a Wish for her and I never did believe in coincidences. I thought for a second and said, “On the day I stand before God…that He’ll smile at me,” I answered. “What if you had one wish that could come true, what would it be?” I reciprocated.
She looked into my eyes and without hesitation said, “That your wish will come true.”
I almost chuckled until I saw she was serious. We sat there holding hands for a long time – or at least a long time for us.
Finally, she asked, “Do you doubt that God will smile at you?”
“I’ve done some things in my life I’m not proud of,” I admitted.
“But God forgives everything, right?”
“I guess that depends on which path you take in life.”
She shrugged. “But how can there be a wrong path…as long as you’re trying to get home to Him?”
I looked at her, but had no answer. Such wisdom for a little girl…
She yawned twice and I summoned the nurse to help her back to her room.
“Sweet dreams,” she told me, as I left for the night.
“Sweet dreams, beautiful. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said and kissed her tiny forehead. I’ll never forget the miracle in her smile.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In all my fifty-seven years, Sophia’s funeral was the cruelest experience I’d ever endured – and from the pain in Bella’s eyes, she clearly felt the same.
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