I pondered the question for a minute, biting my lip. I had been thinking about this since Tristan had kissed me that night at the party. I kept wondering about what I’d felt that night, and what I had been feeling ever since. I wondered about our strange connection, and the effect this spell had on us. Was it ruling our decisions, playing with our real feelings?
The real questions here was: what was real and what was magic? Was the binding spell that had brought Tristan back to life forcing things to happen between us that neither of us really felt? I remembered the strange urge to hug him when he first arrived at school; the surge of electricity between us. I was pretty certain that had been the bonding spell. I also remembered our first kiss, and how I had felt the same jolt of electricity, the tingling in our lips. That kiss had felt so magical, so out of this world. Surely it had some magic involved in it? Or did first kisses – good first kisses – always feel that way? I thought about all the kisses I had shared before. There hadn’t been any fireworks, any tingles at all. Was the magic bond I had with Tristan making it so?
But then I thought about the way I felt around Tristan now. And I knew it wasn’t just about a magic spell, a forced bond making me feel the way I did. I liked being with him. I liked his smiles and the way they made his eyes glint with a light of their own. I liked the sound of his laughter; it made something reverberate inside my heart. I liked his mysterious scent, and the way he tilted his head down when he was embarrassed so his hair could fall over his face and hide his eyes. I liked how caring and honest he was, how kindly he treated everyone around him. He had such a beautiful heart, such a unique and special soul. All of this had nothing to do with a magic spell or Tris being an ex-ghost. It was all part of who Tristan was. And that was why I loved him so.
“You want to know the honest truth, Tiff? I don’t think I just like him,” I mumbled, staring at the sky. “I think I love him,” I confessed, mostly to myself at that moment.
Tiffany let out a small gasp, her green eyes wide in shock at this sudden revelation. Before she could process what she had heard, or say something back, Tristan’s voice cut in, catching us completely off guard and making us both snap our heads back in surprise.
“Hey, Joey?” His voice was somewhat tense.
“Oh, h-hey, Tris,” I stammered, trying to recover. I realized he might have heard what I had just said, and I started panicking.
“Sorry, Joe, but I just came by to say I can’t hang out today. I have to take a rain check on our walk; something came up and I can’t get out of it. We can reschedule for some other time, okay?” he said in a bit of a hurry.
“It’s o-okay. Some other time,” I agreed, and he nodded before turning away and speeding off towards the school building.
Tiffany and I watched him retreat in silence. I was fumbling anxiously with the hem of my shirt and Tiff was clasping her chest with one hand, still trying to recover from the shock.
“Do you think he overheard us?” I asked her in a small voice.
She blinked and turned to me with a sympathetic smile. “I really don’t know, Joey.”
I slapped my face and sighed loudly. “Talk about the worst timing ever!” I grunted. “How freaked out do you think he’ll be?”
She shrugged. “If it was any other boy, I would say a whole damn lot. But Tristan is … different. He may not react the way we think he will.”
“You really think so?” I asked in a hopeful voice, raising my head a little.
“Yeah. I really do. Let’s just wait it out and see what happens, okay? Who knows? He might even tell you he loves you too. The way he looks at you … I wouldn’t be surprised,” she replied with a smile. “Come on. Your afternoon has just opened up. Let’s go into Saint Pete and take your mind off this.” She beckoned to me, already on her feet.
I followed Tiffany with a weary heart, and a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach telling me that something bad was bound to happen.
Then the week carried on as usual. Classes, teachers, lessons, Harry being silly, Josh giving me some tips on martial arts moves, Sammy’s new joke updates. And Tristan went back to his normal self: pompom squad Caroline drooling all over him at third class; me, pissed off with Caroline for drooling all over him in third class; then lunch break.
Seth, Harry and I were having lunch in the cafeteria, talking about our new songs and waiting for the rest of the gang to show up. Tiff was doing her social networking thing all around the room, chatting to her various friends, though she always ended up at our table. She was talking excitedly with Bradley, at the other side of the food counter, and Brad was laughing loudly at something she was saying. Seth glanced over at them, and frowned, giving them a dark glare before resuming munching his food.
After a few minutes, Tiffany walked back to our table and sat down, greeting us cheerfully. She took a sip of her juice and started talking excitedly about the Spring Ball. I wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying at first. I usually tuned out when Tiffany was going on and on about dresses and shoes and stuff like that, and since the unfortunate incident by the oak tree, I also couldn’t think about much else. But before I knew it, all hell broke loose around the table. Seth and Tiff had started another one of their quarrels. I’m not sure how things escalated so fast, but by the time I noticed, they were already at each other’s throats.
“I don’t know how that has anything to do with you!” Tiff yelled angrily.
“Hey, whatever!” Seth said, shrugging, clearly upset. “Just go back to your gossiping friends there! You know Brad only talks to you because he grovels for any scraps related to your parents! He probably didn’t even understand your jokes; he was only laughing to keep you happy! He’s such an ass kisser!” Seth hissed, and started making annoying kissing noises.
“Don’t put me in the middle of your fight with Brad! It’s not my fault you were kicked off his basketball team! And it’s not gossiping, it’s called having a social life, just so you know!” she bellowed.
“I wasn’t kicked off the team! I quit! He begged me to come back, just so ‘you’ know!” Seth barked back. “And you could try being less ‘social’ sometimes!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped angrily, catching on his innuendo.
“Oh, you know what it means! You’re such a people pleaser! And you only talk to half of your so-called friends because your parents impose them on you! If they weren’t kids of your father’s business associates, you would never even glance their way!”
Tiffany snorted at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re only jealous because you don’t have a social life like I do! It’s not my fault you’re such a nerd and barely leave your room! Don’t blame me for being such a loser!”
“Fine! I won’t!” Seth shouted, pulling himself up from his seat, angrily. “Glad you finally got that off your chest! You don’t need to worry about hanging with a loser any more! I’ll save your reputation and just leave, how’s that sound? No need to thank me, your highness!” he growled, and stormed off.
Harry was looking wide-eyed at them, and then he glanced my way, gulping hard. “That was … intense. I’m sorry, I don’t do well in tense environments. I completely lost my appetite. I think I’m gonna go now,” he said, and stood up, then walked away.
“Harry!” I called after him, but he didn’t even turn to look at me; he just threw his hands up in the air and left the cafeteria. Harry got really upset about fights.
“Tiff … what just happened there?” I asked, bewildered.
She sunk her face between her hands, and hunched her shoulders down, blonde curls falling all over her face.
“I-I don’t know! He was so mean to me … and I was so mad! And he kept yelling!” she said, sobbing a little.
I scuttled close to her, patting her on the back. “Hey … there, there. I don’t know what’s happening with you two! You can’t stay together in the same room without fighting! You were really hard on him with the loser thing, Tiff.
You shouldn’t have said that …”
“I know! I couldn’t stop myself! I just wanted to hurt him! I’m so sorry, Joey! What can I do now? He’ll hate me for ever!” she said, sobbing harder.
I wiped the tears off her face. “Look, you have to go talk to him. Like, right now! Just go and say what you just said to me, he’ll understand.”
“No, he won’t,” she whined quietly. “He hates me.”
“No, he does not hate you, Tiff. He’s an amazing guy, and he’ll forgive you, trust me on this. He needs to do some apologizing to you too,” I said reassuringly. “Okay? Then go now,” I said, shooing her.
She stood up reluctantly and headed to our room.
Sam, Tristan and Josh showed up a little after that, oblivious to the raging war that had happened at that very same table only a few minutes before. I had already finished eating my food when they arrived, and I kept them company for a while, but Tristan’s awkwardness around me now left me in a constant state of embarrassment, and Tiff and Seth’s fight had put me in a jittery state. I was really worried they might be fighting again in our room. So I excused myself and went to check on them.
I couldn’t let this bickering continue any more. Even if I had to lock them in our room until they worked things out, I wasn’t leaving them until they’d kissed and made up! I walked through the school hallways in a worried gloomy mood. I was so deep in thought about what I was going to say to Tiff and Seth, that when I got to the room, I didn’t even knock on the door before stepping inside.
And my jaw dropped a hundred feet down to the floor then: Seth and Tiff were in the middle of the bedroom, in the most intense make-out session of the decade! Scratch that. Of the century! Their lips were locked together, hands roaming everywhere. It was … I didn’t know what it was! Unexpected, for one thing. Shocking. Definitely. I was also a little embarrassed. There was some serious heavy petting going on there. They should get a room. Oh. Wait …
I coughed loudly. They jumped apart, startled and surprised. Hell, I was the surprised one, pals! Tiffany blushed from head to toe, and Seth looked away, patting his messy blond locks of hair, all embarrassed.
“Okay. Guess you guys kissed and made out – I mean up!” I mumbled, without realizing I was saying it out loud.
Tiff blushed even more, and Seth smirked just a tiny fraction.
“I was actually worried you guys might be killing each other in here right now, but I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong, huh?” I said, squinting my eyes at the two of them. “Oh, I see now what happened back there! Seth was jealous of you, Tiff! Because you were all chatty with Brad McSmelly!” I said, realization dawning on me.
Seth hunched on his bed, scowling at me for outing his jealous fit. Tiff sat next to him and began to smirk, but I continued talking.
“And you, Tiff, were all so sad and crying because you like him and you thought he hated you!” I said, wiping the smirk off her face. She froze and scowled at me too for outing her earlier breakdown. Then she shuffled her feet and stared at the floor.
“You were crying?” Seth asked quietly by her side.
She nodded slightly, all embarrassed. I thought Seth was going to start teasing her about this all over again, but he surprised me once more.
“I’m sorry,” he said gently, putting his hand over her hand on the bed.
She looked at him and smiled softly. “I’m sorry, too,” she said.
“Aaaaww, that is so sweet!” I said, sitting on my bed in front of them. “So, you guys are like, together now? Oh, please, please, please say yes! Then we won’t have any more of you two fighting all the time!” I said, clasping my hands together.
“I doubt we’ll stop fighting,” Seth said thoughtfully. “But at least if we start dating, we could have make-up sex after the fights. That’s a plus, what do you think?” Seth asked her jokingly.
She rolled her eyes, annoyed. “We are not having makeup sex, Seth. We are not having anything at all!” she said, glaring at him.
“That’s what you said after our first kiss at the party, and look at us now, kissing again,” Seth remarked, amused.
“Yeah!” I said, trying to help him win the argument “Wait. Kiss at the party? Are you saying this wasn’t the first time it’s happened?” I scowled.
Tiff winced, giving Seth quite the glare. He wasn’t supposed to tell me that!
“Tiffany!!” I yelled at her. “And you gave me such crap about being a true friend, saying you tell me everything that happens to you! No secrets between us, my ass!” I scolded.
I was really mad. I curse a lot when I’m mad. Tristan would be flinching non-stop if he were in the room right now. He hated when people cursed around him, especially me.
“I-I’m so sorry, Joey! It was a one-time-only thing!” she mumbled.
“Well, obviously not,” I snorted, looking at Seth now.
“What? She told me not to say anything,” he said, shrugging. “She’s ashamed of it. She doesn’t want anything to do with a nerd.” He looked upset again now.
“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me,” Tiff mumbled.
“Yeah. Right. What guy doesn’t want a tall, blonde, gorgeous, sexy, smart, funny girl, right?” he said sarcastically, with a heavy frown.
She glanced over at him, a little surprised but happy. “You know … I kind of like my men sexy, and blond and geeky,” she said, looking directly at him, making him lose the frown and smile at her.
“Aaaaww, that’s so sweet!” I giggled from my bed.
They both grabbed a pillow each and tossed them at my head.
“Joey, can you please cut it out!” they both yelled at me.
“And leave, so we can have our make-up sex!” Seth added as an afterthought.
“Seth!” Tiff yelled, and tried to punch him lightly on the arm, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“I can see that the fighting thing isn’t going to change,” I mumbled to myself.
“No. Seriously, Joe. Get out,” Seth commanded, looking at Tiffany with hungry eyes.
“Okay. Okay. I’m going. Jeez. Just promise you won’t try to kill each other after I leave,” I said, walking over to the door.
“We’ll try,” they both said, eyes locked on each other now. I hurried to get out of the room and leave them alone. I could see that killing wasn’t exactly what was in their minds right now. And I didn’t need to worry about helping those two. They were doing just fine on their own.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Spring Ball
Seth took Tiffany out on an official date the following night.
It was so funny seeing them all excited about going out. They were together all the time, at school, at the lunch table, lazing around in my room, but apparently being together on a date was a totally different way of hanging out.
I stayed up until late that night, waiting with Tristan for Seth to get back. It was like we were anxious parents waiting for their son.
Since Tristan was acting like nothing had happened back at the oak tree that afternoon, I decided it was best not to mention it at all. He probably hadn’t heard anything anyway. Though sometimes I caught him taking quick peeks in my direction, but he always had a faint smile on his lips, and I knew that, whatever it meant, it wasn’t making him upset, but happy.
When Seth finally got back, he had a big smile plastered on his face.
He looked so happy as he told us all about his romantic date with Tiffany. Before Tristan, I had never really understood what the fuss was about with romance. I thought it was a silly, unimportant thing to be concerned about. I also had never known what desire truly meant. And now I was in love for the first time in my life. Even if I didn’t know for sure if he knew. Or indeed how he felt about me.
The rest of the week passed by in a dance-preparation frenzy. Everybody seemed so excited about it, while I still had no clue about who I was going with. I was still dodging all approaches, but Saturd
ay was getting near and I hadn’t found a solution to my problem. Tristan hadn’t mentioned it either. I was slowly realizing I was going to end up at the dance on my own, the rate things were going.
Two days before the Ball I bumped into Seth on the way back to our room, and he told me I’d just missed my grandmother. After a few questions, I found out that my “grandmother” was actually old Miss Violet. I was really bummed about missing her, especially as she must have found out something about our situation. Seth told me that Tristan had looked for me all over the school, but couldn’t find me.
When I walked into my room I found Tristan sitting on his bed, staring at the floor with a haunted look in his eyes.
“Hey, Seth told me you were looking for me. I missed Miss Violet’s visit. Is something wrong?” I asked, startled by the grim look on his face.
“You tell me,” he said shortly. His tone was sharp. Cutting.
“Y-you’re angry,” I stated.
“How clever of you,” he snapped.
“Tris, I don’t know what the problem—”
“You lied to me,” he said, cutting me off.
I stared at him in surprise. Then I thought about my last call to Miss Violet, asking her to help me with my nightmares.
“Miss Violet told you. That I’m still having dreams,” I realized slowly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked sharply. He sounded betrayed.
“I-I’m so sorry, Tris. I didn’t want to upset you,” I mumbled, but he cut me off again.
“You’ve been dreaming about him all this time; he’s carried on haunting you in your sleep. He’s hunting you. And he’s doing all this because of me! To get to me! And you thought it was best not to tell me?” he said angrily, his voice raised.
“Tris, no, you don’t understand! I was just trying to protect you!”
“Exactly! I should be the one trying to protect you! You don’t trust me. You asked an old lady to help you, but not me.”
“No, Tris, you’re getting this all wrong!”
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