“I’m not going anywhere.”
He pulls me back against him as his hands slip around to the front and undo my pants, pushing his fingers inside against my skin, sliding them all the way to the floor where I step out of them.
My breath hitches as his fingers trace over the soaked triangle of my crotch, then torturously slow back up my sides to my shoulders, slipping the straps of my lacy bra off one by one, kissing my shoulders and unclipping the latch in front. I feel his breath on my neck as my boobs spring free from the lace constraints.
Little sparks of electricity shoot through my wetness as one hand closes over the swell of my breast pressing my nipple between his fingers. He brushes my hair over my shoulder followed by his warm moist lips trailing from my neck all the way down my spine, over the horrible scars as if they do not exist.
He takes his time as his fingertips caress my back while kissing every inch of my nightmares away. I shudder every time I feel his lips on me. Then he turns me around and slowly guides me onto the bed, hovering over me.
“Every part of you,” he whispers in a husky growl, “I want, every part of you.” His eyes burn into my body as his hands trail my hips and between my legs. His fingers press through the lace into my moist, swollen entrance.
He moves back up, taking one nipple in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue then the other, sucking and nibbling softly then downwards between my legs where the familiar ache pulses through me like a heartbeat.
“I need this off.”
I lift my hips and he slowly pulls off my panties, his eyes on me. My legs are quivering as he drops the panties next to the bed and puts his hands on my knees, gently opening me up.
Chapter 16
~Josh~
The smell of her sex is driving me fucking wild. She lies back with her knees up over my shoulders giving me direct access to her glistening pussy. My arms reach under her legs with my hands on her full breasts, pulling and rolling her pink nipples between my fingers as I suck her clit. She comes quickly, digging her nails into my arms as I milk her sweet essence from her, lapping it up with my tongue.
I sit back and grab the condom from the bedside table, ripping it open with my teeth then rolling it onto my pulsing cock dripping with cum. I need to put on the brakes; otherwise this is going to be over in no time.
“Baby girl, if I don’t get inside you right now I’m going to fucking explode.”
She looks at me, eyes hazy with puckered brows. I lean in between her legs letting my lips trail up from her stomach, between her breasts to that pretty pink pout I picture around my cock.
Her fingers fist in my hair as our tongues dance, ravishing each other. I pull back just enough to position my cock at her entrance, ready to fill her up. Her mouth falls open as I slide the sensitive tip over her moist entrance. Sweet Jesus, she’s so fucking beautiful, all sexed up and glowing. Her hands fist the sheets as the tip slips in between her pussy lips and presses into her. Two inches deep and she clenches around me so tightly it feels like my cock is going to snap.
My eyes catch hers. They are clear blue, pupils dilated, terrified.
”You okay, baby?” I manage through my breath as she constricts around my cock.
Silence.
I try to push deeper, but her muscles clamps down on me. “I need words, baby.”
“I’m fine,” she says in a shaky voice.
What the fuck? She’s sucking me in so tight it feels as if my cock’s going to break in half. My balls are hard as rocks as I try to pull out slowly. Fuck!
“Don’t move.” My words come out a little harsher than intended.
She freezes as I pull out, lick two fingers and push into her hard, but she’s wet enough. Sweet Jesus, she’s tight, milking my fingers as I reach deeper.
“Josh!” She cries out my name, biting her fist as I work her up then take myself in hand and slip in on the back of my fingers, pushing in halfway when she goes off like a rocket.
Whoa! “Sshh baby, it’s okay.” I pull back. Those big blue eyes are too watery, fuck; I don’t even have to ask. Her eyebrows lift as she looks at me with her chin trembling. I lower myself over her, stroking her hair from her flushed face.
“Baby girl, please tell me I’m not your first.” I can feel my cock swelling from her sweet taste on my tongue. She looks at me with clenched fists and shakes her head.
“Uhm.” Her voice quivers.
Fuck! “Sophie, I need a straight answer.”
She shakes her head, biting down on her lip, eyes big and watery. The one girl that’s crawled underneath my skin, making me feel shit I have never felt until now. Even though I want to do nothing more than bury myself deep inside that tight pussy, I can’t. I have to take care of her.
“Come here.” I pull her into the crook of my arm and hold her, just hold her. She molds into me like she is fucking made for me. For the first time, pussy isn’t all I want…I want more, I want all of her.
“Are you mad at me?” She whispers.
I press my eyes close as the warmth of her breath brush against my skin. My grip tightens around her. Being mad at her just isn’t fucking possible, but if I could punch myself in the face I would.
”No baby, how can I be mad at you for being a good girl. It’s just that I’m not the one you want to give this to. If I’d known this, I would have stayed the fuck away.
She lifts her head resting her chin on my chest. “Why do you say that?”
My mouth closes over hers before she can say another word. I just can’t resist. Her bottom lip quivers as my lips press against hers. “I’m not taking this from you tonight, not because I don’t want to, trust me, you’ve got me all kinds of worked up. It’s just…maybe you need to think about what you’re doing. ”
I cup her face in my hand pressing my lips firmly against her forehead. “I don’t want to hurt you, baby.” She looks up at me like a fucking puppy up for adoption. She can make me do anything if she looks at me like that. I know what she needs, and it’s not me….
Anger bubbles up inside as I feel her wet lashes press against my chest as she lowers her head. I put my fingers under her chin “Look at me, baby.”
She looks up but her gaze is still low. “Sshh, don’t cry, please. You’re fucking killing me here.”
She wipes the tears from her cheeks and lifts her face up to me. “How the fuck are you still a virgin?
She pulls back a sob “My boyfriend broke up with me after the attack, I guess I’ve never thought I’d…” she stops.
My chest aches as my fingers brush over the scars cut into her back. Knowing Ben was there to take care of her through all of this makes me feel even more like dick for sweeping in and taking her from him.
Ben wasn’t just taking care of her physical wounds; he was taking care of her heart. I run fingers over the scars and I can feel something is happening, it’s changing me, and it scares the motherfucking shit out of me. Her presence rattles the cage in which I keep my feelings locked up in, for my own protection, and hers.
Vengeance has become my drug. Hate, the venom that keeps my demons alive, demons that will swallow her whole. I am the devil falling for this angel lying in the crook of my arm, breathing life into my stone cold heart.
~6:45am~
A buzzing sound pulls me out of my sleep. I turn my head and look at the empty bedside table, just the phone, and no whiskey. This must be a dream. I lift my head from the pillow when something stirs behind me.
It takes a few moments to realize that the angel lying curled up next to me isn’t a dream, she’s real. The voice inside of me telling me I’ve fucked up is loud and clear. I swing my legs off the bed, careful not to wake her, grab the phone, and walk into the bathroom.
“Roxwell.”
“It’s me, I have news.”
I rub my hand over my face. Mutt’s Irish accent streams through the line. “What’s up?”
“My contact at the stri
p club went home with Colby. She said there’s some kind of fucking shrine in one of the rooms. A girl’s photo with candles and shit.”
“Who is she?”
“Don’t know, not your sister.”
“What else?”
“An old phone with a message from your sister. It’s from the night she died. “
“What does it say?”
“She wants to take the baby away.”
I feel the blood freeze in my veins. What the fuck!
“What you want me to do?”
“I’ll call you when I’m back. See what you can get on the girl, I need to know what her connection to him is; maybe she knows something. Take the phone.”
My hand clenches around the phone as I lower it from my ear. That fucking cunt! He got her pregnant, then got rid of her and his fucking spawn.
My fist stops inches from the mirror as hate looks back at me. Inhale…exhale…I look at the empty bottle in the bin. Fuck!
What better alibi than to get rid of his child by making it look as if a chronic depressed little rich girl cut her wrists. With her history of cutting there’s probably enough evidence to argue her death was suicide. That’s it. The one chance of getting justice for Lilly. I won’t rest until it’s over. Suddenly, I remember the file from Mom’s lawyers. I haven’t had time to look through it. Maybe there’s something in there I could use. I need to get back.
My eyes drift to the bed and an overwhelming feeling of possession spreads through me as the small bundle underneath the white sheets stirs. I hold my breath and count to ten then open my fists as my anger starts to crumble.
If ever there was a girl I could see myself being with it is this girl, but like with everything in my fucking life, the timing is all wrong. The best thing for her would be if I walk out of here and let her get on with her life. Standing on the edge of the bed and watching her sleep is the most peaceful I’ve felt in years. The calm that radiates from her is a light in which I could bask for eternity.
She is the once in a lifetime chance you get if you’re good, deserving; I am neither. Falling for this angel is the easiest and the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Chapter 17
~Just breathe~
My fingers touch the purple red mark on my inner thigh where Josh has marked me.
Being with him was the most terrifying and thrilling experience, I’ve ever had. There was a strange mysterious feeling inside of me that took control of my body and mind. The anticipation when he looks at me with his eyes the color of a storm brewing, the explosion, which sets me off as one orgasm rolls into the next, pushing me over the edge of no return. The soft groan coming from his throat when he opens me up, torturously slow with a promise of unfathomable pleasure.
The girl in the mirror staring back at me isn’t a scared insecure virgin who is ashamed of her body anymore. There are other things that scare me now…like the thought of losing this…whatever it was we had.
We haven’t talked about it, or anything else for that matter. My head is telling me that I’m just another girl he’s into for a while, until he’s had enough, and moves on to the next one. Whatever it is, I’m lost in it. I’m lost in him, with no hope of surfacing with my heart in one piece.
I’ve never wanted to give myself to someone so much as when I am with him. The way he adores my body, makes me forget about my scars for a while. He showed me that it doesn’t change who I am, and that regardless of my imperfections, which are more than skin deep, I am wanted. And that makes me want him even more.
After a shower, I put on a soft blue A-line mini skirt and white blouse. I let my hair down and apply two layers of mascara and lip-gloss before going downstairs. Alice said she’d be over later. She said that Ben was with her until after midnight, just talking. He has opened up a lot more in the past few days, and although she isn’t sure if it is just because she is leaving or because of Josh, it has brought them closer. Holding back from expressing your feelings is hard, but even harder when the guy you’re gushing over is your best friend.
I see Ben fiddling with the barbeque on the deck. I take a deep breath and open the back door. I smile but my insides quiver. I know Alice probably told him that Josh is here, and he probably knows that I spent the night there.
“Hi.” He wipes his hand on the side of his pants looking at me sideways.
“Where were you all night?”
I swallow. Okay, this is it. I don’t want to lie about Josh, so here goes. “Do you really want me to say it?”
There’s a deep gash between his brows when he lifts his head up, “Not really.” He gives me a crooked smile.
I open my mouth to protest, but he lifts his hands up “Please, just let me finish.”
He takes a deep breath “If, and this is a big if, but if he actually has feelings for you, which I don’t believe is the case, then you are in for a world of hurt.”
I watch him for a moment as the words settle between us like a layer of dust over a cracked surface. This thing with Josh is not going to go away soon, and for as long as it lasts, I’m going to give it everything.
I get up, arms crossed, and start walking to the back door. “He’s coming around later.”
Ben gives a slow nod, his expression bleak.
He pushes the BBQ to the end of the deck and closes it. “Very well. I thought we could have a BBQ before Alice leaves.”
I lean back against the door and fold my arms, “Tonight?”
“Unless you have other plans?”
“No, not really. I would just rather not if it’s going to turn into another fist fight.”
He lifts his hand above his head and draws a little halo in the air. “I’ll be good, I promise. I’m sure Josh isn’t a bad guy when he’s got his shit sorted out, but I’ve never known him as anything other than this, Soph. “
I can’t stand to hear this anymore. I start to turn when he speaks.
“Soph?”
“Yeah.”
I turn back to face him. “I’m not doing this to hurt you.”
“I know,” I whisper.
He shakes his head and walks over. I can see why Alice has it so hard for him. He’s like a modern day mountain man. Rough and ready but with a heart as big as Texas. He looks down at me with those intense blue eyes, “So, any idea why Alice’s acting so strange.”
“What do you mean?” I lift my hand and twirl my hair through my fingers.
“She’s been acting all weird around me, blushing and shit, like she doesn’t know me.”
He looks over to me with one brow arched. Shit. Do I really have to tell him the obvious thing that has been staring him in the face for so long? She loves you Ben Slone, open your freaking eyes. I take a deep breath and push my hands into my pockets. “Maybe she likes you.”
He jerks his head back with a frown. “What do you mean, like…”
And there’s the light bulb.
His head jerks back, “Whoa, what!”
“She likes you Ben; she has since the first day you stuck your fingers underneath the hood of her Toyota. Can’t you see that?”
He looks shocked, stumped, out cold, slam-dunk. “I…but…sheesh!”
I put my hand on his shoulder, “I know.”
I look back from the kitchen door at him still sitting in the same spot, rubbing his hand over his head. Mission accomplished.
Chapter 18
“What’s up with him?” Alice pulls the fridge open and takes out two Bacardi’s. Ben disappeared shortly after our talk and when he came back, he looked just…wow. Wearing dark blue jeans and a blue shirt he trimmed his beard, his hair was styled minus his usual beanie.
Alice leans back against the cabinet ogling him sitting in the lounge watching a game.
I fiddle with my skirt, and looked up to see her still watching him, biting down on her lip.
“Why don’t you go outside and talk. I’m just going to finish
up here and then I’ll be out.”
She narrows her eyes, tipping the bottle to her lips. “What going on?”
“What do you mean?” My eyes dart between them.
She opens her mouth when Ben appears in the door. “Stop harassing Sophie and come outside with me.”
Our mouths drop as he grabs her hand and pulls her outside onto the deck. Alice looks back at me bug eyed as he pulls her outside by the hand.
I watch through the screen door as they walk out to the farthest end of the deck and he puts his arm around her and slowly rubs her back. I am so excited for her I almost pee my pants! Finally, after four years, it’s as hard and as easy as that.
Lights beaming in from the front lawn catch my eyes and instantly my insides turn into a knot. At first I try to compose myself walking slowly down the front porch steps but the second he gives me that ‘I want to fuck you’ look, all resistance crumbles. Before I know what I am doing I run down the porch steps and jump into his open arms with my arms and legs wrapped around him.
“Hey” his voice soothes the ache inside, followed by his mouth closing over mine. He turns and pushes my back against the Camaro, his buckle pressing into my crotch, and instantly my skin starts to tingle.
“I’ve missed you so much.” My breath hitches as his fingers dig into my hips. There’s so much that I want to say to him, but my brain’s a tangled mess. He looks at me and I feel my world stop spinning.
My lips remember his, and sparks tingle on my tongue as his roll with mine. He leaves me breathless every time he kisses me, slowly sucking my bottom lip as he pulls away.
“You’ll be the death of me, woman.” A wicked smile brushes his lips.
His fingers creep in under my skirt, brushing over my cheeks, “I’ve missed this.” He gives a naughty grin.
My legs reluctantly loosen around his hips as he slowly lowers me to my feet, my fingers sliding down against his chest.
His hands cup my face, and he lowers his gaze, “You make it very hard to be a gentleman when you’re looking at me like that.”
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