“Look at me,” his voice reverberates through every cell of my body.
My eyes open and meet his, dark and abyssal. We’re one, melting into each other as the smell of sex hangs in the air, making me feel like I’m on a Josh-high.
“Mine,” he breathes on my lips before gently pulling my bottom lip with her teeth, then closing his mouth over mine as he thrusts harder and harder.
I am his. The words burn into my skin as his thrusts become jerky. My nails dig into his ass as his muscles clench, and he releases himself. He wipes my hair from my clammy face and kisses my forehead, and then the tip of my nose and lastly my mouth, soft and sensual. I can feel his cock jerking inside of me.
“I wish we could do this every day.” My words come out unrehearsed straight from my heart.
His arms tighten around me as he playfully tugs at my lip, his eyes glistening black like diamonds. “Me too, baby.”
When he stops moving inside of me, and we catch our breath, he lifts me up and goes to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He comes back with a washcloth and cleans me up. We lay with the sheet over us, him on his back, and me with my head on his chest.
“I like this,” I whisper pressing my lips against his skin.
He closes his arms around me and holds me tighter. “What do you want to do after you’ve graduated?”
His question surprises me, as we have not really talked much about anything other than our feelings. I lift my head to look at him, and his eyes meet mine. They are soft grey and calm.
“I want to teach. That’s my dream.”
A faint smile brushes his lips. “You’ll make a great teacher.” He takes my hair in his hand and pulls my head back, then leans down and presses his lips on mine.
I want to know more about him, but he is not very open about his life. Everything I know has either come from Ben or Alice, but I want to hear it from him. I take a deep breath, and then ask the question I know he may not want to answer.
“Can I ask you something?” I bite down on my lips.
I feel his hand in my hair, twirling it between his fingers. “Anything baby.”
“Ben said you’re still trying to bring the guy who you believe helped your sister that night, to justice. Is that true?”
His fingers stop moving, and his brows knit. I can see his throat moving. Shit, maybe this wasn’t the best time. I open my mouth to apologize, but he stops me.
“I think Lilly was pregnant when she died.” He swallows hard as a dark cloud passes over his face.
“Oh my God, Josh, I’m so sorry, that’s terrible!” I lift myself up on my elbow as cold shivers run down my back.
“He turns his head away from me, looking out onto the ocean. “I found a voice message on his phone from her the night she died. She asked him to come over and help her get rid of it.”
The cold shivers cling to me followed by a wave of nausea. “What do you mean you found a message on his phone?” I sit up, pulling the covers over my bare chest.
My heart jumps out of my throat as my phone starts ringing on the bedside table next to me. Shit. I take a deep breath and grab it with the intention to reject the call. “Crap, it’s Alice, I told her I’d catch up for lunch, but I can cancel.”
He turns his head back, “No please, I want you to go. We’ll talk later baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
I really want to have this conversation with him. For the first time I feel as if he’s letting me in. I let the call die then lean forward pressing my hand on his chest. “Thank you.”
He frowns, “For what?”
“For letting me in. I know it’s hard for you.”
He looks at me as if he is dissecting every part of my soul. He reaches out and runs his hand down the side of my face, slowly and intimately.
“I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before, I never thought I would, but I want to, with you.”
My breath catches in my throat as warm liquid fills my veins. The words in my head are so powerful it scares me to think that I feel this way about him. Is it too soon to tell him how I really feel?
He lifts his head up, “You can go only if you promise to be back before nine pm.”
“Why, what’s happening at nine?”
His pulls me closer, eyes dark and brooding. “Dinner…” sparks shoot from every nerve ending in my body as he reaches up and pulls me on top of him.
Chapter 26
Alice’s eyes stretch behind her purple-colored glasses. “Oh my god I didn’t think that’s possible.”
She rolls her eyes reaching for her bag then takes out a small blue container and puts it on the table between us. “I know; I can’t believe it myself.”
She sits back fanning herself with a piece of paper lying on the counter. “I’m surprised you can walk!” She mouths.
“Do you remember to take the pill?”
I nod, “Yup, took one this morning.”
“Well, here’s something extra, just in case.” She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small blue container.
“What is it?”
“For in case you forget, you never know, take one of these immediately.” She lifts her glass and takes a sip of the Diet Coke. She looks tired, her complexion is dull, and there are dark rings around her eyes.
I take it and slip it into my bag. “Are you okay?”
She lets out a deep sigh “Yeah…just had an intense introduction day at work that’s all.”
“And…” I can see she is not being completely honest.
She opens the tub of ice cream and sticks a spoon in the middle. “Urgh, I don’t know, I guess…I just miss him.” She smiles sheepishly. “I’m pathetic, right?”
“Of course not.” I lean over the bench and reach for the spoon, but she grabs it from me.
The apartment is absolutely amazing. It’s a penthouse overlooking the city, fully furnished, and the fridge and pantry stocked with everything you can possibly think of.
Alice sits on the black high chair on the other side of the kitchen counter. “I think you should just get pregnant and marry him,” she says absentmindedly fiddling on the phone.
I swing around with the open fridge door in my hand. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
She looks up but doesn’t lift her head, “Well, I don’t know what kind of magical power you have over him, but clearly he’s whipped.” She licks ice cream from the spoon and points it at me, “and we have your pussy to thank for all of this.” She opens her arms giving me a stupid smile.
I turn back around and take the orange juice out. “Urgh, you’re overworked.”
The front doorbell rings, and she jumps off. “Whatever, I’m right, and you know it.” She walks off to the door leaving me alone with my thoughts.
The smell of pizza whiffs into the kitchen and my stomach grumbles in appreciation. “Oh my God, I’m starved.” I grab two Cokes and follow her into the lounge.
As soon as the pizza touches down on the coffee table, I flip the lid and grab a slice.
Alice sits back looking at me with raised brows. “Doesn’t he feed you?”
I smile with my mouth full. If she only knew. “We’ve been busy,” I say, talking around the food in my mouth.
She lifts her Coke and gulps it down, “Fucking like rabbits.”
“Hey.” I frown, coaxing a piece of melted cheese into my mouth.
She shakes her head. “It’s true, at least one of us is getting some, even though it’s not the one I thought it would be.” She sighs.
“Look, there is something I need to tell you, but I don’t want you getting upset, okay?”
I swallow and wipe my mouth with the serviette. “What is it?”
“I found some old articles about Josh’s sister’s death. Apparently, Josh almost beat the guy to death that was with her. He laid assault charges against Josh and all. The press had a freaking field day with it.”
I swallow. �
��Oh my god.”
“His girlfriends, his drinking, how he went all crazy when he found his sister—”
“Apparently, he trashed the place, punched the cops, and pulled a gun on the guy that was with her, Colby or something. He was taken into custody. His father got his lawyers, and all the charges against him were dropped.”
Why is this so hard? I just want to move on with my life, and I want it with him. But every time I turn a corner, there’s something else casting a shadow over my dreams.
“I just wish he would talk to me you know. “I take a deep breath. “I think I love him, Alice.” The words come out unrehearsed from the deepest part of my soul.
She presses her eyes closed, and reaches out for my hand across the table, “Oh Sophie…are you sure. I mean I know he’s swept you off your feet, and the sex is just-wow, but—”
“I love him.” I say with a half-smile, sniffing back my tears.
She gets off her chair and walks around putting her arms around me. “Oh fuck! What are we going to do with you?”
“Yeah” my hand rests on my chest as my heart suddenly flutters uncontrollably. “I love him”
Chapter 27
~Josh~
Sunday night
My baby almost fell asleep on the way home after I picked her up from Alice’s. She lies back in the seat looking at me, blinking slowly and every now and then her eyes stay shut for a minute, then open again. I wish I could take her away from all of this.
Mutt called to say he is having an envelope delivered with the phone so I can listen to the message, and if it’s any good, I’ll take it to my lawyers first thing after she’s gone. I’m ready to put this behind me. I need to, not only for me, but for us.
Sophie lets out a soft moan as the Camaro stops humming beneath us. “Baby,” I lean over and take her hand, kissing the inside while inhaling her scent. This woman has caught me with my pants down. I never thought I’d want someone as much as I want her, not just sex, which is fucking unbelievable, but her. There is a connection between us, which is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt with anyone.
I get out and open the front door, kicking the package inside, and then walk back and lift her out of the car.
She is as light as a feather in my arms as I carry her upstairs and lay her softly on the bed. I am tempted to strip and get in behind her, my cock growing hard just watching her lay there.
My phone buzzes in my pocket; it’s Mutt.
“What?”I pull the door closed and walk back downstairs.
“The girl in the photos. It’s the girl that died in the apartment.”
“What?”
“The apartment block your father had evacuated by the council. There was someone in one of the apartments, a girl, apparently, she was on some kind of oxygen machine, when the utilities company cut the power, she died.”
Motherfucker! How the fuck didn’t they know about her? I feel every hair on my body stand up. What is he doing with a photo of her?
“I’m not sure. What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing, just sit tight. I’ll let you know.”
I walk into the kitchen where her jacket hangs over the chair; I lift it up and press it against my nose. The smell of her fills me, consumes every cell. I look back up the stairs and exhale all the negative stress eating away at me. She’s become a drug, sweet and intoxicating, and I can’t get enough.
I pour myself a drink and take the package to the study. I sit behind the dark wood desk and look out onto the ocean then pull open the bottom drawer. The brown file falls open in front of me. Momma’s old fossil of a lawyer told me I’d never get my hands on this file, that it was her wish to have it incinerated, but his pretty assistant was happy to hand it over after I fucked her senseless for a week. I’d do whatever it takes to clear my sister’s name. She wasn’t crazy. She didn’t take her own life. I just know it.
My eye catches another envelope nearer to the bottom of the pile. It’s marked ‘Private.’ I lift it out and slide the contents out onto the table.
Sweet fuck! It’s a photo from the pile. It’s Lilly and Ben, sitting in the park. She’s holding a daisy sitting on a swing, and he’s sitting on his knees in front of her with his one hand on her knee. It looks like he’s having a serious talk with her. God knows he was the only one who she’d fucking listen to.
The next photo is Ben, alone in a diner. Golden blonde hair in the next photo gets my attention, and I pull it out from the bottom. My heart clenches as my eyes fall on Sophie sitting on the porch wrapped up in a blanket. She is sickly pale, her eyes deep set with dark circles underneath. Ben sits next to her with a bowl in his one hand and a spoon in the other. Fuck! This must have been shortly after the dog attack. I throw back the whiskey. I’ve only just glanced through the file since I got it a few months ago, but I missed this.
“Josh?”
I swing around to find Sophie standing in the doorway. I drop the photo on the file and get out behind the desk before she comes closer.
“I woke up and you were gone.”
Her voice is thick with sleep and her face all scrunched up. God, can she be any more beautiful? She started walking towards me, but all I wanted to do was get her out of the fucking room. I put the glass down and opened my arms, trying to conceal what’s behind me on the table.
“Come, let’s go back upstairs baby.” I take her face in my hands. Her skin is warm and plump as my lips press against hers.
She turns around, and I let out a sigh of relief when suddenly she stops, and turns back around, rubbing her eyes. “What the-?”
Chapter 28
Josh has gone pale as he stands in front of me with his hand on my side guiding me towards the door.
“Baby please-” Something in his voice makes the hair on my neck stand up. I turn and start walking towards the desk with the waves breaking silently in the background.
“Don’t, please.” He grabs my arm, but I pull away and pick up the photo from the floor in front of the desk. There is a brown file with more photos. My whole body shoots up in goose bumps as I see the photo lying on the top.
“Just listen to me,” Josh pleads, but suddenly I feel like the room is starting to spin. My words caught in my throat as my heart starts to race and the tears sting in my eyes.
“What is this?’ I walk around but he holds onto me.
I look up at him though blurred eyes “Let go of me.” I accentuate every word.
He throws his head back, working his jaw. “I don’t know what‘s in there baby, please, just leave it, I can explain.”
My fingers work through the mountain of papers, photos, documents, and a stack of newspaper clippings:
Divorce rumors for Seattle’s golden couple…
Miscarriage plummets marriage in trouble…
Prominent businessman’s daughter found dead after suicide…
Lawsuit against Roxwell & Co after girl dies in building…
My heart stops as my eyes fall on the next photo.
It’s a woman…in a coffee shop…even though I have not seen her in fifteen years I recognize her instantly.
“Oh God.” I feel my legs give out underneath me, shaking like a leaf. Josh reaches for me before I fall. His arms fold around me like a steel cage, holding me back as I cry…I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe…
“Mom?”
Josh is speaking to me, but all I can hear is the beating of my own heart, thumping in my head. He touches my arm, but I pull away, delirious. “No, leave me alone, get away from me!”
His grip tightens around me as he carries me out of there kicking and screaming. I press my eyes closed as the hurt cuts me up from the inside like a barbed wire being pulled through me. The same feeling I had every night for years after she left.
I break free and run upstairs. He doesn’t try and stop me; he just stands there and watches me leave. I slam the bedroom door shut and curl up in a
bundle on the bed as the nightmare rolls over me in waves.
The first things I feel as I open my eyes are the sharp edges of the photo scrunched up in my hand. My throat is thick and raw, and my eyes burn against the faint glow of the bedroom light. Josh sits on the edge of the bed, his fingers clenched in his hair, rocking slowly.
He looks up. The pain evident in his eyes. I want him to hurt. He lied to me, and I could see that he wasn’t going to tell me what I needed to know.
“Baby?” he leans forward to touch me but I recoil.
I shift up against the pillows, away from him. “Why do you have that file…the photos of my mother, and Ben and me…why?”
He opens his mouth, but no words come out.
“Don’t you dare lie to me, Josh. I might be a small town girl living a simple life but that doesn’t give you the right to invade my privacy!” My voice hurts, but I keep going.
“I haven’t seen my mother since I was five years old. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been all those years not knowing why she didn’t want me, where she was, every birthday, every Christmas, without her, and then you just have a photo of her in your file…it’s sick!”
My throat starts to close up. I jump up and started pacing the floor. He stands with his arms at his sides.
“Baby, please…”
“I’m not your fucking baby!”
He lifts up his hands, “Okay, okay just relax. That file is not mine—”
“Don’t lie to me!” I start marching towards the door, but he jumps in front of me.
“It was my mother’s, okay? I fucked the P.A to get the file. My mother’s lawyer was going to incinerate it. I swear it. My mother didn’t want anyone to see it after she died so she instructed her lawyer to burn it. I had no idea she kept tabs on Ben. I’ve never looked through this file or any of the photo’s, I swear it.
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