“I thought you were lost,” she said.
“I’m sorry about that, Mary. The storm pushed us from the Banks with half a load of fish, so the captain decided to go back once the weather cleared. It was cold, but I really liked it. I hope to hire on again in January.”
“Did you make it to St. John’s?” she asked.
“No. Once the storms hit, we went farther south to escape them and didn’t get to make port in the capital. Don’t worry. Peter will be there in the spring.”
She hoped so. They continued to catch up. He asked about school, and she told him about exams and her marks. They exchanged stories about her colleagues and his shipmates.
“I almost forgot, I have a gift for you,” he said. “I had to go by my place to get it on the way here.”
“Danol, I have something for you as well.” She left the room to fetch his gift.
Danol presented her with a small box wrapped with silver paper and tied with bright red ribbon. When she finally peeked inside, she found an exquisite gold bracelet adorned with a delicate angel and inscribed with the words angel endeavours.
He helped her put it on. “It’s beautiful, Danol. You shouldn’t have,” she whispered.
“You’re my angel, Mary,” he said simply. “I want you to always remember that.”
“Thank you, Danol. I love it. Now it’s your turn.” She smiled and gave him the box she had fetched from her room.
Danol opened the neatly wrapped package to find a light oaken case with a tiny metal latch. Inside, shining brightly in the red silken lining, was a brass, three-draw telescope with the manufacturer’s marking dolland on a little plaque at the base.
“I hope you like it. It’s supposed to be the best brand,” she said, trying to read his expression.
“I don’t know what to say. It’s magnificent.” He gingerly removed it from the case and began moving it in and out of the draws. He smiled and teasingly gave her commands to launch the ship and hoist the sails.
They returned to the dining hall, where the meal had been cleared away. Danol and Mary helped the children make a boat from chairs and boxes, and Danol played the part of an overzealous pirate captain. The parents came to see what the fuss was about, and they all joined in. Overall, they had a wonderful afternoon.
With New Year’s Eve approaching, Mary was excited at the prospect of seeing fireworks for the first time. The kids had described the coloured light bursts in the sky, but Mary couldn’t even begin to imagine what that meant. She had spent the day shopping with Bridie for a formal gown to wear at New Year’s Eve celebrations at the Hotel Vendome. Despite Mary’s apprehension at the cost, Bridie was insistent and made the purchase. Bridie was preening her like a prize hen, fixing her hair and her gown to be just so.
Danol arrived that evening in a navy blue three-piece suit that set off his tanned skin and blue eyes. He looked very handsome, and Mary was sure he would be ogled by the ladies all evening.
He took in the sight of her in a stylish pale blue satin gown that skirted her curves and shimmered as she walked. He could tell she still found walking in heels a little awkward and smiled at a misstep. She was a beautiful woman, he’d give her that. Peter Nolan would be one lucky man.
As Mary rode in the carriage a short time later, she thought she must have been sleeping and awakened in a fantastical dream. The streets were crowded as they made their way to the hotel’s massive oaken doors. They followed a train of coutured and coiffed couples who were pausing as lights flashed and puffs of smoke rose to signal their image was captured on a carte de visite print.
The hotel decor was extravagant. Red and green silk curtains were draped over layers of white satin and hung from the vaulted ceilings. Elegant white china, sparkling flatware, and shiny silver candelabra sat on white lace-fitted tables. Red and white poinsettia flowers complemented the scene. Mary gazed wide-eyed and was unable to speak.
The schedule showed a formal dinner followed by dancing in the great ballroom. A stage inside the great hall held a large contingent of musicians with a variety of musical instruments that Mary had never seen before. She hadn’t heard the style either—Danol said it was classical music. She kind of liked it but also longed for the house parties that Da had talked about where there were Irish ballads, accordions, and square sets. She was caught in two worlds: one was trying to entice her while the other had her heart. She didn’t know how long her heart could hold out.
Horns blared. Mostly inebriated revellers, adorned with pointy, multicoloured party hats, began the countdown to midnight. Danol guided her out to the balcony to watch the fireworks. They could hear the “Three! Two! One!” in the background as Danol tilted her chin and kissed her lightly on the lips. “It’s tradition,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d want people full of liquor trying to kiss you.”
Intoxicated by the wine and the moment, Mary leaned into his embrace and kissed him back. His big arms circled her tightly, and he deepened the kiss as the fireworks began. Mary didn’t know if the noise and sparkles were in her head or in the sky or both. What was she doing? Awkwardly, she pushed him back. Her head said it wasn’t right . . . but it didn’t feel wrong.
Danol loosened his arms and gently turned her around so she could see the rest of the show. Suddenly she felt lonesome as she watched the colourful lights dance and burst in the night sky. Shouts of “Happy New Year!” from the ballroom and the streets below didn’t excite her.
She couldn’t stop the single tear. It emerged big and wet and painful. She had complicated matters and betrayed Peter.
“Happy New Year,” she whispered into the night with a foolish wish that it would somehow catch a breeze and reach Peter’s ear. Then he would know she was thinking about him.
1892 was gone, leaving her with mixed feelings. It was hard to fathom that she was in a different country, chasing a dream, with the hope of returning to a man she had loved most of her life, while accompanied by a man she had met a few short months ago and whom she just might love equally as much.
“Take me home, Danol,” she said, as tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Oh, Mary. Why are you crying?”
“I honestly don’t know.” And she didn’t.
“So much has happened to you in the last few months. Don’t be upset. I’ll get the carriage,” he said, pausing before finishing. “I’ll do anything for you.”
He told Robert he was taking Mary home and took her outside, where he hailed a carriage. They rode most of the way in silence. Danol tried to hold her hand, but she refused.
“Danol, we’re friends, right? Nothing more than friends?”
“Where is this going, Mary?” he asked tentatively.
“I’ve dreamed of Peter Nolan since I was a teenager. I still dream of Peter Nolan, but sometimes you’re mixed in there. Is that allowed, Danol? Do you know what I’m asking? Are you allowed to be in my head, too?”
“Of course, Mary. I’m allowed to be whatever you want me to be. I understand what you’re saying. I, too, struggle with what’s between us, afraid you’ll think it more and sometimes afraid I’ll want more.”
Danol was surprised at how effortlessly he fit into Mary’s world, both in John’s Pond and here in Boston. She was the drawing force, and he craved her company. He was grateful that her family had welcomed him. But as much as he enjoyed being with her, he had felt a strange pull to the sea. He was free on the water. He’d given up his policing career so easily and with such little regret, and now he knew that he’d made the right decision. Life was hard on the water, as he had just found out, but policing was hard, too. He was too fond of Mary to complicate her life with his new passion. It wasn’t fair to her, and he didn’t want to risk losing her because of his dream.
“I want to be your friend, Mary. You’re bright, you’re beautiful, and I owe you my life.” Danol paused for another moment. He looked as
his feet while he searched for the right words to say. “You’ve made me want to be more than I ever thought possible. I want to see your dream come true, and I want to be part of that dream in some ways. As much as it pains me to say it, I know Peter Nolan loves you like a woman, like you should to be loved. I know you love him like any man would wish to be loved. I shouldn’t have kissed you. That wasn’t fair. I didn’t intend for it to happen. If our friendship is complicating things for you, then we can end this here tonight. But I don’t want that, Mary. I really don’t. You tell me, and I’ll abide by your decision.”
“Oh, Danol, I don’t know if Peter wants me to return. He hasn’t answered any of my letters. It’s complicated and jumbled in my head, and I want to be sure. I shouldn’t have kissed you either.” She wrung her hands together. “I’m so confused.”
“I’m sorry, Mary. I should know better. Don’t you have any doubts about Peter! He’s a good man and will do right by you.”
They continued in silence. Danol walked her to the door and bid her good night. Bridie had already invited him for New Year’s Day dinner. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. If that’s all right?”
“Of course, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He left her on the step in a flurry of crisp air and distant sounds of merriment.
20
By the middle of the next week, Danol was off on another sea adventure, returning at every chance to see Mary and the progress on the Angel Endeavours. His new experiences were making him more comfortable with determining the requirements for a skipper and crew for his own vessel.
Mary was doing well at school, but she was yearning to go home. All this change had been good for her, but a dose of home was needed to bring her back to reality.
Two days a week the medical students would accompany doctors on their rounds at Boston General Hospital. She also joined a clinic one evening a week at Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell’s office. Dr. Blackwell was a wonderful guide and tutor and taught Mary based on the circumstance of the patient.
The doctor told Mary about a maternity hospital and asked if she’d like to volunteer there on Saturdays. The hospital gave free obstetrics care to the impoverished women of Boston. At first Mary wasn’t too keen, as she expected it would be akin to assisting her mother deliver babies, and she already had a lot of experience with that. But Dr. Blackwell insisted it was so much more, so Mary accompanied her.
The Boston Lying-in Hospital was indeed so much more than what she thought it would be. Over the next few weeks, Mary helped treat mothers prenatally—a concept she had never thought of. She also witnessed babies coming into the world by way of a caesarean section operation that would certainly save lives back home. As a teenager, she had attended two difficult births where both the mother and baby had died. Her own mother had done all she could at the time but had believed the outcome was predestined. Mary had been devastated and vowed she wouldn’t help her mother again. However, her mother had insisted that Mary go with her the next time she was summoned, and Mary complied. She’d always loved the births. But the other complications she could have done without, especially when the outcomes weren’t good ones.
Here she could learn skills that would improve the mortality rates of mothers in the tiny harbours and coves. For the first time, Mary found her purpose—women’s health. She continued to volunteer at Lying-in Hospital and encouraged her other two female classmates to join her there.
Mary found out that Helen Storrow volunteered there as well. She was helping expectant mothers to learn to read and write. It was lovely to renew their acquaintance.
Meg’s letters were few and far between, with little to tell beyond her “Richard” stories. She fell in love with the dress that Mary had sent. Mary was so happy to hear from her friend but was ever more troubled that there was still no word from Peter. Regardless, she continued to write to him.
Their boat was delivered on schedule. Mary still couldn’t believe it. They had watched the progress for so long, and now it was finally here.
Her sisters and their families came for the christening. And, judging by the crowd, she could almost swear that so did half of Boston. Bridie and Theresa bought her a fancy hat and burgundy dress for the occasion. Mary thought the purchase was wasteful because she was still ill at ease with her change in circumstance. As well, working with the poor had left an indelible mark on Mary.
Mary and Danol clasped their hands around the neck of a bottle of champagne attached to a satin rope hanging down from the scaffolding. Smiling at each other, they ceremoniously released their grip on the sparkling green bottle and watched it glide toward the base of the magnificent ship. It struck below the painted waterline and smashed in a million pieces as the crowd cheered. Danol grabbed Mary and swung her around so that her skirts flapped in the breeze.
“We did it, Mary. We did it!” For the first time since New Year’s, he kissed her again. Then he set her down and gave her a bear hug that nearly knocked the wind out of her.
Mary laughed when he set her down. “We did!” She was bursting with happiness and hugged him one more time. Both she and Danol had settled into an easy and unassuming friendship. Despite any doubts she’d had, her heart belonged to Peter and she was a step closer to returning to her roots.
But she was growing sad that Peter wouldn’t be a part of this odyssey. Since New Year’s Eve, every night before she went to sleep, she wrote an entry to him in a journal. She kept this hidden from everyone, including Bridie. It helped her get through the lonesome periods, when she longed for home and kept her thoughts focused away from Danol.
She desperately hoped that she wouldn’t repeat the heartbreak of those many years ago when she believed Peter wanted to marry her. The longer she stayed in Boston with no word from him, the more doubts she had for a future together.
She would have to live with her choices, and that was fine by her.
She studied hard and was rewarded with excellent grades. Her scores in the clinics were the highest in the class. Hoorah! She had one year complete and three more to go.
Over the next few weeks, Danol got busy preparing supplies and hiring a crew for the trip to Newfoundland. Mary was as excited as he, but she was homeward bound, and Danol was leaving the life and the place he had called home for many years. This made her uneasy, but Danol repeatedly told her it was what he wanted.
Bridie planned a goodbye dinner party the night before the scheduled sailing. All her family, and her close friend Helen Storrow, came to say so long until September. Once all her family left after dinner, Robert invited Danol to the den for a drink.
Mary noticed that Bridie and Robert didn’t seem quite themselves before and during dinner. “Bridie, you know I’m coming back, right? Thank you for all you’ve done for me over the past few months.”
Bridie didn’t answer at first. Then she burst into tears as she sat back on one of the chairs and began to bawl. “I’m sorry, Mary. I’m so sorry.”
“Bridie, what’s wrong? I’ll be back. I promise.” Mary couldn’t understand why, but Bridie cried even harder. She seemed inconsolable. Mary crossed the room and tried to hug her, but Bridie pushed her away. Robert came from the den and went to her side. Danol followed him but waited just outside the room.
“Bridie, you have to tell her,” Robert said rather sternly, surprising Mary with his tone.
“Tell me what?” Mary was worried that something was wrong with Bridie. Maybe they didn’t want her here? Was one of the children sick? Mary’s mind went in a thousand different directions.
Bridie sobbed even harder. Robert quickly left the room and returned with a stack of letters all tied in a blue ribbon. He handed them to Mary. Mary, surprised, looked at the letters, not quite understanding. She tentatively turned the stack over and noticed the address. Recognition was hurtful—these were her letters to Peter. They hadn’t been posted! Mary gasped and backed up to the nearest chair. She stared at the en
velopes. A tide of disappointment and treachery threatened to consume her.
“Why, Bridie? Why?” Mary whispered. Her sister had betrayed her. Her whole body tensed at the shock. If Bridie had shot her, Mary wouldn’t have felt more hurt than she did in that moment. Bridie reached for her, but Mary pulled away. Danol came to her and put his hand on her shoulder. Mary leaned into him for support while silent tears streamed down her face.
“This is exactly why I did it, Mary. Look at the two of you. You and Danol belong together.” Bridie stood and came toward them. Her speech was broken as she tried to catch her breath. “Why are you wasting your time and talent on some fool man back in Newfoundland who will never do enough to deserve you? He broke your heart. At least that’s what you told us. I was only trying to point you in the direction that’s as plain on the nose on everyone’s face except the two of yours. You belong together. I didn’t want to complicate matters by having some bloody doctor writing letters of love when he clearly made you a second choice.”
“Stop it, Bridie! That’s none of your business,” Robert said. “I’m sorry, Mary. I had no knowledge of this. I discovered the letters last night and insisted that she tell you.”
Mary looked from one to the other. Robert’s face was stern, and Bridie’s was anguished. Mary was still trying to digest the fact that she had waited for several months for word from Peter when he was probably waiting to hear from her.
Danol released her, and suddenly she felt a cold chill. “Bridie, I can assure you that Peter Nolan is no fool,” he said. “Neither is Mary. With all due respect, you need to stay shy of this affair and let Mary figure it out on her own.”
“If you gentlemen would excuse us, I would like to speak to my sister alone,” Mary said.
Being Mary Ro Page 22