And because he hadn’t let go and his hands now lay on the insides of her wrists, she let her fingers spread under his, feeling the warmth of his skin, the hint of tendons and veins underneath that made up the landscape of his arm. She watched his eyes dart to their hands and come back to hers without missing a beat.
“My grandfather taught me how to play the guitar, the accordion, and the Cajun fiddle, and my dad taught me how to play the banjo.”
Her mouth fell open. “You know how to play four instruments?”
Jacques’s mouth twitched. “Technically, I know how to play the piano too, but I wouldn’t do that live.”
“You play live?” she asked, her eyes bugging.
He nodded. “I had a band. Epoch. We just broke up, and I’m playing solo until I can find another group.”
“Wow.” She tipped her head forward, giving him her most innocent expression. “Have I mentioned how much I like music?”
He threw his head back and laughed at the ceiling. And Rainey could not breathe. The sight was so beautiful. The definition of his jaw, dusted with just a hint of stubble… the lines of his throat… the way the muscles of his shoulders peeked out beneath the crew neck of his T-shirt.
Rainey found herself wondering what those muscles were called. The ones that led from the base of the neck to the shoulder…
“You’re funny.”
She was sure he’d said something, but it was so hard to concentrate. “Hmm?”
“It’s unexpected,” he murmured, and the soft look in his eyes made her start paying attention to what he’d said. He thought she was funny? Was she funny?
Rainey spent most of her days alone while Holi was at work. But when they were together, she’d talk to Holi. Probably too much. Rainey thought about their evenings and weekends. She couldn’t picture her sister laughing all that often.
“What did you expect?” Rainey dared to ask.
Jacques studied her for a moment before shaking his head. “Well, I didn’t expect that bag you had yesterday to be full of steamy romance novels—”
“Which weren’t mine,” she interjected, the embarrassment of the day before no less for the fact that the books belonged to Holi.
“And I didn’t expect you to know the words to ‘Space Oddity,’” he continued, his straight, white teeth flashing as he spoke with mirth. “And that should have been evidence enough to prepare me for that kickass vinyl treasure trove over there.” He jerked his head in the direction of the armoire.
Then Rainey’s breath stuck in her throat, because he leaned forward and used the tip of his calloused middle finger to brush an escaped curl back behind her ear. “I also didn’t expect how sweet you’d look asleep in the back seat of my car.” He narrowed his eyes at her, and she was sure he could see her pulse pounding in her neck if he couldn’t hear it over her jagged breath. “I think it’s safe to conclude that you, Rainey Reeves, are pretty unexpected.”
It had been years since she’d been kissed. Years. But Rainey was certain she was about to be kissed, and — even as terrified as she was that she’d forgotten how to kiss — she was pretty darn excited about the prospect. His lips, which now weren’t far at all, looked like a soft place for hers to land, and she knew that stubble would tickle her chin and cheek.
And she was about to find out how much when “Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots erupted beside her. Jacques looked down at the incoming call on his phone and frowned. He glanced back at Rainey and squeezed her wrists.
“Maybe I should take this.”
She nodded because at that moment she doubted she could speak. He let go of her, picked up his phone, and strode across the room, but she could still hear him.
“Hello?…No, I haven’t…I was working…”
Irritation clipped each of his words. Rainey finished the last of her coffee, figuring she probably wasn’t going to get that kiss.
“Look, Kate, it’s been — what — an hour since I called you? I’m interested, but I’m also busy, so if you want me to take you and the rest of your band seriously—” He turned back to face Rainey, his eyes widening with disbelief. She watched his free hand grip his hair at the roots.
That was when she noticed he had great hair. Dark, longish without looking shaggy or stringy, but thick and plentiful. Rock star hair. She should have pegged him the moment she clapped eyes on him.
“At Dockside?…H-how did you manage that?…You’re kidding.” His eyes met hers again, and the disbelief was still there, but the irritation long gone. She definitely was not getting that kiss.
“Yeah…yeah, I can be there in thirty…I’ll listen to it on the way…See ya.” Jacques ended the call. He walked back to the bar where Rainey waited, trying to keep her expression impassive. He frowned down at his phone and looked back at her. “I don’t really know how to explain what that was about.”
Rainey cleared her throat. “You just got the chance to lay down an album at Dockside Studios,” she said, impressed with how even her voice sounded, despite the fact that her stomach had fallen somewhere around her knees.
Jacques blinked his surprise. “Yeah… Your dad ever record there?” he asked, mystified.
Rainey nodded. “Many times. It’s the best of the best around here, but I thought you didn’t have a band.”
He shook his head, still looking confounded, his dark eyes wide and a long way off. “I don’t.” He nodded to his phone. “That was a crazy kid I’ve never even met, but we talked earlier today. She’s looking for what I have, and she knows me, and somehow, her rich-ass daddy managed to get them a slot because Dockside had a cancellation for tomorrow afternoon.”
She made herself take a slow, measured breath. “It sounds like a great opportunity.” And then she forced a smile, reminding herself that the life she lived with her crocheting, and her potted plants, and her books, and her music collection, and her dog was a contented life.
Jacques shrugged. “Maybe.” Then he gave a grim chuckle. “It might be a disaster, but there’s only one way to find out.”
He shifted his weight, leaning toward her before he hesitated. “I was looking forward to spending a little more time hanging out with you, but I should probably check this out.”
She tried not to let his words penetrate, but they did anyway, leaving a trail of warmth under her skin. She nodded again. “I get it.”
Jacques reached for his mug before draining it. “You make a damn good cup of coffee, Rainey.”
Then she smiled. She had to. The compliment felt nice, but so did the way he said her name. “I’m glad you liked it.” And then, because she couldn’t help it, “And I’m glad you came in.”
He stepped around the counter, moving in front of her. “Look… uh… I don’t know how long this’ll take today, but I’m playing Thursday night at Artmosphere. My set starts at eight. I’d love it if you could come.”
Was he asking her out? On a date? She wasn’t sure it sounded like a date. She held her breath, remembering how her mom once told her how she used to spend all of her nights at the foot of the stage when she and her dad were dating.
Jacques reached forward and hooked his right index and middle fingers around her left index and middle fingers. She hoped he didn’t hear the little gasp that escaped her.
“I know it’s not really first-date-caliber, but I don’t know how long this studio thing will take,” he said, his fingers squeezing hers, a hopeful glint in his dark eyes. “I have gigs every night this weekend until Sunday… and I’d like to see you before then.”
Rainey felt her eyebrows climb. This was new. Her pulse raced, and her lips buzzed, and her fingers tucked inside his tingled.
“I-I need to see how Holi’s doing,” she hedged. It was a safe-enough response. One that would give her time to think.
Jacques brought the fist of his free hand to his forehead and grimaced. “Right. Of course. Sorry. Of course you do.” He looked so sincere and self-chastising she felt a little guilty.
“
I mean… I’d love to go i-if everything’s okay with her,” she stammered, letting her own fingers squeeze back. “I tell you what. If I can make it, I’ll see you there.”
His hand left his forehead as a smile lit his face. “Great… great. And if you can make it, maybe we could grab a bite after my set.”
Rainey swallowed. That sounded a little more like a date. Sort of. “Sure… sure.” She nodded like an imbecile.
“Good,” he said, still wearing that bright smile. “Well, I hope I’ll see you then.”
The next thing Rainey knew, he was tugging her fingers, her body moved forward, and his lips pressed against her cheek. The innocent kiss was warm and sweet and electric.
And then he stepped away, releasing her as the cheek he’d kissed blazed.
“Bye, Rainey Reeves,” he said, walking backward toward her front door while throwing her a wave.
Mutely, she raised her hand and tried three times to make her mouth work.
“B-bye!”
When the door closed behind him, Rainey leaned against the counter for a whole five minutes trying to process her hour with him. And failing at that, she did what she always did.
She turned to Holi.
Rainey wanted to talk, but she didn’t want to wake her sister if she was resting, so she sent her a text instead.
Rainey: You awake?
She responded immediately.
Holi: Yes, unfortunately.
Rainey: Good. I’m calling you. SOS!
Without waiting for Holi to respond, Rainey tapped the first number in her favorites. Her second — and last — was her mom’s number. And as she waited for the call to ring through, it occurred to her — not for the first time — that only having two favorites in her contacts was kind of sad.
“What’s up?” Holi croaked.
“It happened again.”
“What happened again? Please tell me the roof did not leak yesterday, Rain. I do not think I could deal—”
“No, no. The house is fine,” she reassured. “I mean the Uber driver.”
Silence.
“Another Uber driver asked for your number?!” Holi sounded incredulous. She might have even laughed, but it quickly turned into a cough.
“Uh, no. But is that really so hard to believe?” Rainey asked, feeling a little bruised.
“No, it’s just funny—”
“I mean, guys hit on you all the time when you’re not with Ash, and except for your darker hair and complexion, we look a lot—”
“Rain, what happened?” Holi interrupted.
Halting her insecure rant, Rainey took a deep breath and blew it out. “Jacques, the Uber-driver guy, picked me up from the hospital… and I think he just asked me out.”
“You think? You’re not sure if he asked you out? Did you say yes? Please tell me you said yes, Rainey.”
“Well, it wasn’t… I didn’t… I couldn’t—”
“Rain, what do I have to do to get you out of the house? Change the locks?”
The words stung. And it wasn’t so much the words but the frustration behind them. She was stunned silent.
I should have called Mom.
Of course, as soon as Melinda Hagen — formerly Melinda Reeves — heard that the first guy to ask Rainey out in two years was a musician, she’d tell her to run like hell the other way. Which was probably what she would do.
At least, what she should do.
But it wasn’t what she wanted to do. And that, she admitted to herself, was why she’d called Holi instead of her mom.
“He’s a musician,” she blurted.
Silence again.
And then, “Oh.”
Rainey rolled her eyes to the ceiling, not trusting her voice since the first guy to ask her out in two years was a musician, and the reason he was the first guy to ask her out in two years was because she only left the house alone to ride her bike to the grocery store or take the bus to the library, and even those outings took a day’s worth of courage to master. And while she was able to leave the house with Holi and Ash to go out to dinner or the movies or — rarely — to a club, she was so anxious to get back home that — according to Holi — she looked “about as chill as a junkie in a traffic stop.”
“Sorry, Rain,” Holi murmured.
Rainey swallowed hard. “I know I rely on you too much, Holi. I know that—”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Her voice softened. “We’re sisters, and I love you—”
“I know you do, but I ask for too mu—”
“I just don’t think it’s good for you. You haven’t healed. You haven’t made strides in a long—”
“Holi, I can’t talk about this,” she swore in a strangled voice.
“Rain, John Lee would want you to—”
“I’m hanging up, Holi. I’ll talk to you to—”
“Don’t hang up—” Holi’s voice rose and ended in a coughing fit.
Rainey wanted to, but she couldn’t hang up on her sister while she was coughing like that. So while she listened to Holi hack and struggle, Rainey closed her eyes and focused on her breath.
In. Out. In. Out. If she put all of her attention on her breathing, the assault of all other thoughts would wash like waves over a stone and pass over without taking her under. She would be the stone, parting the waves, not being tossed like a hapless skiff.
In. Out. In. Out.
She opened her eyes and searched the living room for her craft satchel. She’d finished the slippers yesterday — two pairs, in fact. She had given Holi the first pair and the second to a nurse, who passed them onto an elderly patient who’d complained of the cold. And she would have started a third, but her last ball of yarn had dwindled to nothing sometime around one in the morning.
As Rainey climbed the stairs on her way to check her room, Holi caught her breath and cleared her throat. “So, this Uber guy — you said his name was Jacques?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Rainey murmured, entering her room and spotting the blessed bag on the foot of her bed. She reached inside for her hook kit and found a skein of Pantone’s Greenery on the top of the yarn pile in her wicker basket. The bright color had been perfect for a cloche she’d made for her mother’s birthday, but there was no reason she couldn’t make a headband with the leftovers.
“He asked you out?” she asked softly when Rainey didn’t elaborate.
“Sort of,” she managed on a sigh, tying off the yarn around her G-hook and starting her chain.
“What does ‘sort of’ mean?” Holi’s voice was still gentle, encouraging.
“He asked me to go to one of his shows Thursday night.” She settled cross-legged on the foot of her bed, and Archie jumped up to join her.
Holi had gone silent. Like Rainey, she was probably remembering the years they’d spent as kids touring with their father. Life on a charter bus. In hotels. A different one every night. The way her father and mother would fight about the drinking and the women and the broken promises.
But then Holi spoke, and all of those memories blew away.
“Do you like him?”
Her crochet hook froze mid-loop. “I-I’ve only known him for two days, Holi,” Rainey stammered, caught off-guard.
“You know what I mean,” Holi leveled. “Do you like what he’s shown you.”
Rainey held her breath. Because she didn’t want to admit that she, indeed, did like what he’d shown her. Apart from the fact that he was undeniably attractive — in the sexiest devil-may-care kind of way — she found him intriguing. He was open, yet mysterious. He was clearly talented, yet pretty humble. His taste in music was broader than her own, and she wondered what she might discover just by listening with him as she had the two times she’d ridden in his car.
And he was kind.
He’d gone out of his way to return Holi’s book to her yesterday. He’d shown concern for her welfare both after they’d narrowly avoided an accident as well as today when she’d been so upset after leaving the hospital. He’d c
learly told her about his father to make her feel better about sharing the truth about her own. And the part about his mother tore at her heart.
“I think so,” she confessed quietly.
“Then it’s simple,” Holi said. “You should give him a chance.”
“But—”
“Not every musician is going to be like Dad.”
“Still, the odds aren’t good,” she argued.
Rainey heard her sister sigh. “Honey, the odds aren’t good for any relationship.”
She frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just what I said. Not every relationship is meant to last. Some men cheat. Some women cheat. Sometimes love fades. People grow apart. That’s life.”
A twinge of worry took up residence in Rainey’s stomach. “Are you and Ash okay? Is that what we’re talking about.”
“Jeez, no, Rainey. Stop worrying,” she scolded. “I just mean you need to take some chances and try to find more people to put into your life.”
Rainey bit her lip. “More than you, Ash, and Mom, you mean.”
Holi sighed again and coughed twice. “Yes, but let’s face it, Rainey. Ash loves you, but the only reason he’s in your social circle is because I’m in it.”
Holi didn’t say it, but Rainey thought it anyway. Holi wasn’t in her social circle. She was her social circle. And even though Rainey was nervous about the prospect of moving beyond that — the circle of safety she’d narrowed around herself for the last six years — she knew the burden it put on her sister wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t healthy.
“I’m not telling you to marry the guy,” Holi coaxed. “Just show up on Thursday.”
And Rainey realized then that she would. She would be near-terrified of going out by herself. She would expect nothing but disappointment. But she’d go because going meant she’d at least get to see Jacques Gilchrist again.
Chapter 7
While he’d talked on the phone with her, Jacques had painted a picture of Kate Crawford in his mind. Medium-build girl with an undercut. Probably dyed black. But possibly pink, given the hot-pink flyer she’d posted at Guitar Center. And a nose ring as a definite maybe.
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